PhantomWolf |
17th November 2017 06:16 AM |
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Originally Posted by Darat
(Post 12080298)
Example: You've been dancing together in a nightclub, you've got very close, smooched a bit, they've had their head on your shoulder, you look at them and in the moment go to kiss the other person.
I really don't think in such circumstances there is any fault by the kisser, if the other person pulls away, gives you a what-the-heck etc. it should be a simply "Sorry, lets carry on dancing". It is not a sexual assault.
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Or we could get used to quickly asking, "Mind if I kiss you?"
And, yes it is considered a sexual assault, just as if you went around kissing complete strangers it would be, but it's unlikely that anyone would complain and demand you were charged.
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This is definitely a difference between us, I would not say that any kind of sexual assault has occurred and I think re-casting such human behaviour in such terms would be terrible way for society to go.
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I think that the issue here is that the lower end of sexual assault such a stolen kiss, a slap on the butt, a groped breast has always been that, but more recently Rape was added to the list of things that is sexual assault, and so now when you say "Sexual Assault" people think "Rape" and so the inclination is to consider what used to be considered sexual assault to no longer be such because it's not rape. It's like, "I didn't sexually assault her because I only pinched her bottom, I didn't rape her!"
I have seen as number of people argue that including the lesser stuff in Sexual Assault devalues rape and the higher end crimes, but I believe it's actually the other way around. By having added Rape into Sexual Assault, what it has done is devalued the lower end to the point that many people don't see them as a crime anymore.
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As a sort of general disclaimer. I hate being touched unexpectedly, I hate people putting a hand on my shoulder saying "hello mate", any kind of unexpected touch I find distressing. However all I do in those circumstances I either ignore it or ask them not to do that again. I do not feel as if I would be right to call those unexpected touches assault of any kind, they are part of the usual social human behaviours. Now if someone repeatedly touched me - no matter how slight or innocuous after I've asked them not to then it moves into potential harassment and perhaps even assault.
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Which pretty much follows the law, unless they were touching you in places that they really shouldn't be
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Of course, but even that isn't foolproof and people will still mistake what each other is saying.
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Possibly, but just because something might not be 100% effective due to idiots, doesn't mean that we shouldn't even bother trying to achieve it.
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But I think it is all part and parcel of the general discussion, how we communicate to one another is all part and parcel of deciding where we draw lines and create boundaries. I am just cautious about the "sex" aspect that tends to dominate these discussions and we end up escalating the matter by thinking just because there is a sexual element in a human interaction it is always bad without a formal, notarized agreement between two people (yeah I am being silly with the last bit but I hope you get what I mean).
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True, and I can see that, I'm just not wanting to help derail the discussion and end up getting told off. :P
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