Originally Posted by Joe Random
"Katie, you know that getting blackout drunk at parties full of strangers is a bad idea."
"Shut up! You're not the boss of me."
The next day:
"Seriously? What were you thinking?"
"It's not my fault! I was blackout drunk and they took advantage!"
"You chose to get blackout drunk. What was that about?"
At some point, Katie is going to look back with regret on all the self-destructive choices she made, and blame herself for many of the outcomes that resulted.
Or she's going to destroy herself before she has a chance to snap out of it. Talking to her about those choices, the consequences, and the responsibility she bears for the choices she made, may be an important part of helping her snap out of it.
But you probably can't reach a 19 year old that way. Some stages of life, the lessons can only be learned by living through them.