- If you've been using your deleted items folder to store emails you haven't dealt with yet and they've been deleted in a server clean up then yes, one of us does have a problem, but no it isn't me. (Real case)
- If you remove one of the columns in your folder display regularly every two or three weeks, just maybe you should learn the two or three clicks to replace it rather than call me every time.
- If I've come up to your desk because you've reported your printer doesn't work, I've fixed it (by flicking the 'on' switch) and printed a page to demonstrate it works, don't then turn the printer round into a position where you can't open the paper tray properly and jam it stuffing half a ream in and then sit silently for two days before claiming to your manager that I ignored your call.
- If another company's website is down I can't fix it for you. No, not even if it's Barclays Bank. (From a man who used to be director of an ISP)
- If your screen is completely blank try turning it on before reporting your computer is broken (from the same ex-isp director)
- Buying at least one new phone every three months and installing the proprietary Outlook integration for every single one while never removing any of them probably will cause strange behaviour. (Less of an issue now than when I was doing the job of course).
And finally, the reason I ended up leaving IT
-To senior management. I am expected to support our product for customers, they report bugs, development will only look at bugs that are reproduced in-house. You have released Apple versions of our product but will not fund any Apple hardware, software, training, or personnel. How do you think that's going to work out?