Timex launches new anti-EMF watch with quantum technology nanotech chip

carlitos

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carlitos
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This feels very woo to me. I find myself thinking about Goop wearable stickers and hologram wristbands. Can anyone please tell me if I'm wrong and there might be a legitimate "wellness" benefit to wearing a "quantum nano-tech chip" in your watch?

I can't recall seeing the "triple warmer meridian" on any anatomical charts, but that's where Timex tells me that the "natural earth energy" is pulsed into my body's energy field when I wear this watch on my left arm.

New Wearable Wellness Watch.

Timex has just launched the TESLAR Watch. It’s a new wearable wellness timepiece, designed to resist the harmful effects of electromagnetic pollution emanating from today’s technology, which includes devices such as cell phones, computers, tablets, Wi-Fi, and others.

A build-up of electromagnetic pollution can cause harmful side effects such as stress, anxiety, low energy, poor sleep, dizziness, and even hormone imbalance.

.............


The technology uses the measurable electric field in the watch’s battery along with the magnetic field of the coil in order to create a zero-point waveform with a scalar pulse of 7 to 9 times per second (7-9Hz). This frequency is transmitted into the body’s energy system through the chip on the back of the timepiece, strengthening the body’s natural bio-field to better defend itself from electromagnetic exposure.

*Scientific studies in laboratory settings have demonstrated TESLAR Technology:
  • May reduce the negative effects of stress
  • May help the body resist the negative effects of EMF radiation
  • Enhances immune response in the presence of EMF
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nb - I can't get the website for "Teslar Science and the Teslar Chip" to load on my browser. Maybe it's all of the excitement people have over this new watch overloading their servers.

http://www.teslarscience.com/

https://www.timexgroupluxurydivision.com/teslar
 
Feels pretty woo to me, also.

On the other hand, Timex has a business to run and products to sell. If the current zeitgeist calls for Teslar products, then Timex owes its shareholders its best effort at a Teslar-based product line.
 
theprestige said:
Or your brainus?

The tech is nonsense, but the moneymaking potential is real. Or at least Timex thinks it's real.
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I'm just surprised that they're so blatantly going for woo. That's usually for street vendors and small online shops, not Timex.

Hell, I might pick a different brand, next time I change my watch.
 
Belz... said:
I'm just surprised that they're so blatantly going for woo. That's usually for street vendors and small online shops, not Timex.

Hell, I might pick a different brand, next time I change my watch.
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I think the Timex brand may have gone through some shrinkflation in recent decades.

I agree that this is really blatant woo-pandering. It might even rise to the level of fraud. On the other hand, I think a lot of consumer marketing has a woo-ish undertone. Are you ever actually going to drive that sports car at top speed on a mountain highway, blissfully free of other traffic? Probably not. Probably you're going to mostly inch along in rush hour, and drive at speed of traffic when you go to visit your parents on the weekend. But Porsche is more than happy to market that fantasy to you in order to sell their product.

Selling luxury commodities to consumers seems to be largely about figuring out what fantasies consumers have, and figuring out how to wrap that fantasy around your mundane product.

So it's kind of all woo all the time, in my opinion. EMF protection is the fantasy of our time, and Timex isn't going to lose any more time without monetizing it.
 
Timex is on a huge upswing in recent years. Collaborations with fashion brand Todd Snyder have helped make them pretty hip with the fashion / style crowd. They have also returned to their roots and expanded beyond just cheap Philippine and Malaysian quartz watches and back into mechanical movements, re-launching the Timex Marlin (hand-wound and automatic) and the $500 "American Documents" collection - mechanical watches appeal much more to the discerning watch nerd.

This particular launch is from their luxury brands division, which I didn't know existed.
 
theprestige said:
I think the Timex brand may have gone through some shrinkflation in recent decades.

I agree that this is really blatant woo-pandering. It might even rise to the level of fraud. On the other hand, I think a lot of consumer marketing has a woo-ish undertone. Are you ever actually going to drive that sports car at top speed on a mountain highway, blissfully free of other traffic? Probably not. Probably you're going to mostly inch along in rush hour, and drive at speed of traffic when you go to visit your parents on the weekend. But Porsche is more than happy to market that fantasy to you in order to sell their product.

Selling luxury commodities to consumers seems to be largely about figuring out what fantasies consumers have, and figuring out how to wrap that fantasy around your mundane product.

So it's kind of all woo all the time, in my opinion. EMF protection is the fantasy of our time, and Timex isn't going to lose any more time without monetizing it.
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Yeah but there's a bit of a difference. You know you're not going to drive that sports car at top speed. Woo is selling an idea that isn't true, and you believe it.
 
Belz... said:
Yeah but there's a bit of a difference. You know you're not going to drive that sports car at top speed. Woo is selling an idea that isn't true, and you believe it.
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Good point.

I think that most people may "know" about the car thing, but generally don't ever actually get around to thinking about it rationally. It's more satisfying to slip into the driver's seat, and slip into the dream, and not ask yourself too many questions about why you really bought the car and what it's really doing for you.

I'm actually quite proud of myself: I recently sold my "dream" car, and replaced it with a model bought purely out of pragmatic considerations. Now when I slide behind the wheel, the reality is the dream. That has a satisfaction all its own.

---

Like Jason Bourne getting himself a cheap digital watch the moment he reaches land. Function is everything.
 
A build-up of electromagnetic pollution can cause harmful side effects such as stress, anxiety, low energy, poor sleep, dizziness, and even hormone imbalance.
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This doesn't just "feel like woo". It is unabashed pseudoscientific lies.
 
*TESLAR Technology user’s effects may vary. Any effects felt by TESLAR Technology are dependent upon the user’s general awareness. TESLAR Technology does not claim effects will be felt on every user. TESLAR technology is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
 
carlitos said:
*TESLAR Technology user’s effects may vary. Any effects felt by TESLAR Technology are dependent upon the user’s general awareness. TESLAR Technology does not claim effects will be felt on every user. TESLAR technology is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
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And that's how Teslar hopes to avoid being charged with fraud.
 
Friends of ours had a running competition to see who could buy the cheapest watch. First it was $20 department store models, then $10 kids watches, then $5 gas station specials. I think they both "won" when they bought a pair of crappy bamboo-spring knock-offs at a garage sale for 50 cents apiece. The knock-offs had fake Timex faces. ;)
 
carlitos said:
*TESLAR Technology user’s effects may vary. Any effects felt by TESLAR Technology are dependent upon the user’s general awareness. TESLAR Technology does not claim effects will be felt on every user. TESLAR technology is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
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That's a colourful way of spelling "placebo".

Dr.Sid said:
It FEELS woo ? Just FEELS ? This SCREAMS woo. It hits you over the head with woo.
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That explains the headache. I thought it was the EM pollution!
 
On the bright side, I posted this article on a watch forum, and almost all of the feedback is positive, skeptical and pro-science. Sometimes I overestimate how many people are really into the woo, based on how much I read this forum.
 
I tried to find Teslar on the Timex site. It directed me to two site links with broken picture symbols. I clicked the first.

It told me to "Go to null". How rude!
 
I saw this in a Forbes article. Can anyone guess how this chip would run out of "power?" Or what lines of "energy" they might be graphing?

Recently, I spent some time discussing the new technology in this watch with Paolo Marai, President of Vertime B.V. "The watch is not a watch, but a technology to help the body protect itself from magnetic pollution," explains Marai. "It has been tested and is scientifically proven to help. We created a tester where you can see your line of energy and stress before and after wearing the watch. Essentially, the lines of energy and stress should not cross each other. After wearing the watch for while, the wearer can see that the lines become more parallel."

According to Marai, the chip doesn't last forever, but -- much like a watch battery -- it can be replaced. When the chip runs out of power, it turns black -- visible to the wearer via the case back. "But more importantly, when the chip runs out, you will feel it first," says Marai, who adds that the more energy the wearer absorbs from the chip, the shorter the amount of time the chip will last ... and vice versa.
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Excerpts rom www.teslarscience.com:



Using EDS in 1991, Dr. Anthony Scott-Morley, PhD, M.D. (alternative medicine), tested a variety of devices claiming to protect the subject from various environmental stresses. While testing an early version of the analog TESLAR watch, Dr. Scott-Morley showed the presence of the watch enabled the body to screen out or block ambient signals within our environment and those produced by generators and computer terminals. Testing the TESLAR on many of his patients, he recorded dramatic improvements in the energy level readings of most organs. Wolde Korol, Diplomat of Acupuncture, replicated Dr. Scott-Morley’s findings in 1992.
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Dr. Glen Rein, PhD, while at Stanford Medical School, conducted in-vitro research using the TESLAR watch to isolate from possible psychosomatic effects in patients - the placebo effect. Dr. Rein’s results showed that the presence of the TESLAR watch provided an environment in which there was, on average, 137% enhancement of human lymphocyte proliferation (immune function). Another test demonstrated that nerve cells could inhibit their uptake of noradrenalin (a hormone and neurotransmitter that helps with concentrations) by as much as 19.5% in the presence of the TESLAR watch.
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In 2003, British Medical Doctor, Nyjon Eccles, Member of the Royal Council of Physicians, saw similar results on patients. Dr. Eccles’ HRV testing confirmed that without the TESLAR watch, the autonomic nervous system becomes stressed when exposed to an energized mobile phone. While wearing the TESLAR watch in the presence of an energized cell phone, Dr. Eccles’ results revealed a “stabilizing effect” on or even “beneficial stimulation” of parasympathetic regulatory system activity.
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I don't buy it, but it sure sounds great.
 
carlitos said:
You can get decent quartz watches brand new on AliExpress for under $5 shipped.
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In the Patpong market in Bangkok in the late 80s, I was assigned by a friend to bring him back a Rolex knockoff. $8000 watch for 500 baht(about $15). The guy had two nearly identical models but the higher priced one was 600 baht ($18). Honesty in piracy.... "What's the difference?", asks Foolmewunz. "Oh, this one says "Quartz"." Not "this one's quartz" but it "says quartz".
 
carlitos said:
I saw this in a Forbes article. Can anyone guess how this chip would run out of "power?" Or what lines of "energy" they might be graphing?

"When the chip runs out of power, it turns black"
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I'm suddenly reminded of those pads that turn black as they draw toxins from your body through the soles of your feet. It's probably just as effective.
 
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