Canadian culture
Cough, perhaps I should point out how lost the US would be without us. For example, your comedy would be rather limited without Canadians. No Saturday Night Live and its various spinoffs. No Naked Gun movies. No Phil Hartman (rip), Martin Short, or Mike Myers (we'll let you keep Jim Carrey).
Then there's some of your cultural icons, say Star Trek, take Canada out and you lose Captain Kirk and Scotty. Hollywood becomes a new beast entirely since Canadians composed a large part of the original studio system. Basketball....goodbye, it would never exist (hmmm maybe that's a crime on our part, hate that game).
I mean really, without the British to steal the ideas from (everything from All in the Family to The Office), and Canadians to write original material, the US would be watching endless reruns of Laverne and Shirley.
I have collected Canadian postage stamps for the past 33 years, so I know enough about Canadian culture to be dangerous. There's plenty, like humorist Stephen Leacock, writers Lucy Maud Montgomery, Mordecai Richler, Barry Broadfoot, and Pierre Berton, to name a few. The latter, a top historian, had an impact on my writing style for my web page. His two books on the War of 1812 told the war in the present tense, and I found that style gave this long-distant conflict great immediacy.
We are all familiar with singers Glen Campbell, Celine Dion, and Anne Murray, which I believe are Canada's revenge against the United States for inflicting Jim Nabors on Canada. On the other hand, nobody seems to complain about Guy Lombardo.
Two weeks ago, Canada issued the last three stamps of a four-stamp set of Canadians who made it big in Hollywood. They were Fay Wray, Mary Pickford, Lorne Greene, and John Candy. I guess the Ponderosa was in British Columbia.
I will give some more Canadian culture when I get home and flip through my stamp album...they did a superb set for the Millennium on Canadian history and culture, which included stamps honoring guys like Sir William Stephenson, and Ottmar Mergenthaler, who invented linotype. Kerosene is also a Canadian invention.
However, when I go through my Canadian stamps, I invariably find myself coming back to the issues that commemorate Canada's armed forces, who fought alongside the Americans and the British in two World Wars, Korea, and Afghanistan.
Most Canadians remember Dieppe, for a certainty. Because of my work on history and my web page, I know about Ortona, the Scheldt, Juno Beach, and Hong Kong, where thousands of Canadian soldiers lie buried at Sai Wan War Cemetery overlooking the point where the Japanese stormed Hong Kong Island in December 1941. That was the first time Canadian troops fought a ground battle in World War II, and the Winnipeg Grenadiers and Royal Rifles of Canada (from Montreal) were defeated after an 18-day battle.
Most of the Canadians were fresh out of training, and had only been in Hong Kong for three weeks. Their war and lives ended under rows of tombstones that read, "Unknown Canadian Soldier of the 1939-45 War," in many cases before their 21st birthday.
When I stood there back in 1994, staring at the rows of tombstones, I remember I broke down in tears, thinking about the appalling loss of lives. And I thought that the sorrow each family felt was a universal emotion, not restricted by nation or ethnicity.
I know it's fun to joke about nations and cultures and lack thereof, and I know that Americans and Canadians ridicule each other a lot...mostly because they can. These are two neighboring nations that have enjoyed harmonious relations for nearly two centuries, the longest unfortified border in the world, share many common values on both sides of the political spectrum, and can agree to disagree without rancor or bitterness.
They wrangle at conference tables over environmental and trade issues, not about nuclear disarmament. At stake in these negotiations are profit pictures and acid rain, which they try to resolve through reason and intelligence, rather than intercontinental ballistic bombast.
Americans should consider themselves they have Canada as a neighbor, instead of some other nations in the world. How would Americans like it if Iraq was our neighbor, for example? Or Pol Pot's Cambodia?
Meanwhile, I'm going back to my book on the Canadian attack on the Gothic Line in September 1944, in Italy. That was truly a forgotten campaign, which is undeserved.