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Old 9th February 2020, 07:35 AM   #41
Giz
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Originally Posted by bluesjnr View Post
I've never subscribed to the "coward" theory myself but I can assure you that making sure that you are not an easy mark for a bully makes all the difference. You provided the answer in your post.

Back in the day I told my son that when and if he gets on the wrong side of one such person, to throw everything he had at them. Getting seriously injured is a very, very rare occurrence so give 'em everything you've got. The chances are you'll get a beating and he/she may well come back... when and if they do, you go again with everything you've got. Who knows? You might get lucky!

What bullies are, are fragile individuals with glass egos and having a scrawny runt get stuck, the ****, in despite overwhelming odds doesn't sit well. I can guarantee that they'll find an easier mark and that is not your problem.

The bully can only operate in an environment where people are scared of being hurt. Swinging that first punch is the road to freedom.
Yeah, this is similar to what I’ve seen.

Of course the best defense is to hope there’s a third party at an adjacent table who demands that they are moved away.
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Old 9th February 2020, 08:01 AM   #42
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If they both had guns he might have had a better chance of defending himself. All youths should be given guns just to try and achieve some kind of balance of power between those who now have guns and those who have not.
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Old 9th February 2020, 08:19 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by cullennz View Post
Well geeze

Odd post to make on a bullying thread.

Did you mean that in a complimentary way?

Or are you just contradicting yourself?
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Old 9th February 2020, 08:23 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by Darat View Post
Does anyone know the origins of the urban myth that bullies are cowards?

The "biggest" bullies I've known have all either used their physical prowess or position to cement their bullying, I can't off hand think of any bullies I've known or seen operate who were cowards so merely "standing up" to them meant they backed down.

At school those (male) kids that bullied others did so because they could physically dominate, they weren't scared of having fights. There were back then only a few female "physical" bullies, bullying within the female pupils tended not to be based on physical violence. (I know this has changed tremendously since I was at school 40 years ago.)

My view seems to be supported by the terrible tragedy in the opening post. The "bully" didn't back down.
Psychologically speaking they may be "weak" in the sense that they bully others to make up for their own bullying and abuse, although that is not always the case.

It's a very common phenomenon: when people, especially males, are the victim degrading and abusive behaviours from others they often respond by taking out their anxiety and frustration of their circumstances by doing the same thing to someone else. This results in a kind of self-perpetuating chain of bullying and abuse. By abusing someone they might feel that they are taking back the control and power they lost.

This can happen quite often in schools, the military and other institutions where they are able to get away with these things. Especially in older times when schools were were more strict, with abuse and humiliation was considered appropriate.

People who are brutalized often become more brutal, it's a fact of life.
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Old 9th February 2020, 08:31 AM   #45
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Some bullies are all talk bluster and rely on intimidation to get their power.

Some are willing sadists and ready to throw down if given the slightest opportunity.

I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all treatment. Thinking you can just stand up to any bully with talk reflects that one has not had ones teeth knocked out recently.
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Old 9th February 2020, 08:47 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by Arcade22 View Post
If they both had guns he might have had a better chance of defending himself. All youths should be given guns just to try and achieve some kind of balance of power between those who now have guns and those who have not.
Youths? Guns should be issued at birth!
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Old 9th February 2020, 09:27 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by BobTheCoward View Post
Every bully is your bully. Every bully is my bully.
No BobtheCoward, you require a couthy lionking for that narrative to play out.

What you need to do is sort out your own issues and stop insisting that I should do it for you. Clear your own path through lifes adversities.

I don't want your help and you don't need mine.

Swing that first punch.
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Old 9th February 2020, 09:29 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by bluesjnr View Post
No BobtheCoward, you require a couthy lionking for that narrative to play out.

What you need to do is sort out your own issues and stop insisting that I should do it for you. Clear your own path through lifes adversities.

I don't want your help and you don't need mine.

Swing that first punch.
It is your issue. You wishing it isn't so won't change it.
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Old 9th February 2020, 09:45 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by shemp View Post
Youths? Guns should be issued at birth!
Now that i think about it, if fetuses unborn babies had guns they might be able to protect themselves from being aborted murdered.

Guns should be surgically implanted into the placenta. Protect the Unborn Child!
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Old 9th February 2020, 10:34 AM   #50
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Originally Posted by lionking View Post
Interesting. I always stand up to bullies.
I was specifically talking about kids, and as Darat covered nicely, among kids, standing up to them isn't necessarily a good idea.
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Old 9th February 2020, 01:42 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Craig4 View Post
Yep, just another child's body for you to step over on the way to the shooting range. There are so many, I'm sure you barely notice anymore. Woo Hoo. Go Second Amendment!
ok
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Old 9th February 2020, 02:02 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by Darat View Post
Does anyone know the origins of the urban myth that bullies are cowards?
Television. It makes for a satisfying story that standing up to a bully exposes them as a coward and "turns the tables".

I think standing up to and fighting back against bullies is the best idea more often than not; but the point of doing so isn't to reverse the roles, it's to either (depending on the bully) make bullying you more trouble than it's worth, or remove the entertainment value for the audience. But the problem with even that much generalization is that bullies don't fit neatly into buckets; there is no "bullies want this, bullies are motivated by that, bullies will be affected by this action in such-a-way"; at best, some of them may be as described and others will be different. There is no "one size fits all" policy, and even the very ideas of "standing up" and "fighting back" will imply different courses of action depending on the individual bully.

There are millions of school bullies across the world, and there are also any number of incidents of people standing up to or fighting back against them, and obviously getting shot is not a reasonably foreseeable consequence of intervening to protect a victim. I think it goes without saying that a kid who is willing to gun down another kid who stopped them from picking on someone else at school has some serious problems that transcend their simply being "a bully".
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Old 9th February 2020, 02:10 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by Giz View Post
Of course the best defense is to hope there’s a third party at an adjacent table who demands that they are moved away.
"What did you do in the war, Daddy?"
"Well, son, I stood up and demanded to speak to the manager!"
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Old 9th February 2020, 02:28 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by BobTheCoward View Post
It is your issue. You wishing it isn't so won't change it.
You keep baselessly asserting that.
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Old 9th February 2020, 04:58 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by bluesjnr View Post
You keep baselessly asserting that.
You keep baselessly asserting it isn't your responsibility.
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Old 9th February 2020, 05:41 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Checkmite View Post
Television. It makes for a satisfying story that standing up to a bully exposes them as a coward and "turns the tables".
Like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_agOnqeEeXw
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Old 9th February 2020, 05:55 PM   #57
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Originally Posted by trustbutverify View Post
This kid stood up for a weak kid who was getting bullied, so he wouldn't be in a helpless situation. It was a heroic act... his murder was an atrocity.
If he was such a hero, why didn't he have a gun?
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Old 9th February 2020, 06:04 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by BobTheCoward View Post
You keep baselessly asserting it isn't your responsibility.
Well let's see... you know how this goes Bob.

How about you put up or shut up?
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Old 9th February 2020, 06:14 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by bluesjnr View Post
Well let's see... you know how this goes Bob.

How about you put up or shut up?
Put up what? We are not making claims of fact.
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Old 9th February 2020, 07:41 PM   #60
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Just video the bully with your smartphone and have him disappeared.
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Old 9th February 2020, 07:44 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by LongFuzzy View Post
Maybe? I don't see that the bully is being shown for a coward by this scene, he just gets stood up to for once and gets beaten. The TV-bully archetype I'm thinking of tends to wind up groveling.
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Last edited by Checkmite; 9th February 2020 at 07:52 PM.
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Old 9th February 2020, 07:51 PM   #62
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"We are sick and tired of children in our community coming in contact with firearms and possessing them and using them."

Officer Cook might be, but America isn't. Not remotely.
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Old 9th February 2020, 07:53 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by Seismosaurus View Post
"We are sick and tired of children in our community coming in contact with firearms and possessing them and using them."

Officer Cook might be, but America isn't. Not remotely.
Right, because "kids who hunt and fish don't steal and deal".
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Old 10th February 2020, 12:46 AM   #64
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Originally Posted by BobTheCoward View Post
Put up what? We are not making claims of fact.
We are through Bob, do one.
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Old 10th February 2020, 01:54 AM   #65
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Clearly the legal age for owning guns are too high. If he had been packing heat he would have been able to defend himself...
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Old 10th February 2020, 03:44 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by Baylor View Post
ok
How articulate of you.
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Old 10th February 2020, 03:59 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by erlando View Post
Clearly the legal age for owning guns are too high. If he had been packing heat he would have been able to defend himself...
NRA shill.
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Old 10th February 2020, 04:00 PM   #68
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Americans love guns more than they love their children.
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Old 10th February 2020, 04:40 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by Checkmite View Post
bullies don't fit neatly into buckets; there is no "bullies want this, bullies are motivated by that, bullies will be affected by this action in such-a-way"; at best, some of them may be as described and others will be different. There is no "one size fits all" policy, and even the very ideas of "standing up" and "fighting back" will imply different courses of action depending on the individual bully.
True.

Normally I will do anything to avoid a fight, but there was this one time when a bully pushed me too far and I let him have it. At that moment my mother arrived to pick me up from school. She wanted to break it up, but the other kids said no let it continue because he needed it.

That kid then became one of my best friends! Seems he was just lacking in social skills, and used violence to hide his awkwardness and fear of others. I like to think that my uncharacteristic action on that day was a turning point in his life.
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Old 10th February 2020, 05:00 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by LibraryLady View Post
Americans love guns more than they love their children.
Some of them do. Most of us want our country back so we can do what the President and the NRA won't, protect our children.
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Old 10th February 2020, 05:03 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by Craig4 View Post
Some of them do. Most of us want our country back so we can do what the President and the NRA won't, protect our children.
I hope so. I'm so tired of this.
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Old 10th February 2020, 07:41 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by Craig4 View Post
How articulate of you.
I've never been to a gun range nor stepped over a dead child so I don't know why you made such a bizarre comment like that.
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Old 11th February 2020, 12:30 AM   #73
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Originally Posted by Sideroxylon View Post
NRA shill.
Please tell me you didn't think I was being serious and that you were responding tongue-in-cheek.
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Old 11th February 2020, 01:03 AM   #74
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Originally Posted by Craig4 View Post
Some of them do. Most of us want our country back so we can do what the President and the NRA won't, protect our children.
How was that working out prior to the present administration?
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Old 11th February 2020, 01:04 AM   #75
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Originally Posted by erlando View Post
Please tell me you didn't think I was being serious and that you were responding tongue-in-cheek.
I'm confident they were kidding.
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Old 11th February 2020, 02:37 AM   #76
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Originally Posted by Baylor View Post
I've never been to a gun range nor stepped over a dead child so I don't know why you made such a bizarre comment like that.
More likely you know exactly why the comment was made but will continue to dishonestly pretend otherwise.

The absolute state of this forum, amirite?
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Old 11th February 2020, 02:48 AM   #77
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Originally Posted by erlando View Post
Please tell me you didn't think I was being serious and that you were responding tongue-in-cheek.
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Old 11th February 2020, 05:05 AM   #78
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Originally Posted by Sideroxylon View Post
Mine is in the shop.
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Old 11th February 2020, 05:18 AM   #79
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Originally Posted by Baylor View Post
Of course you don't have the conviction to mention the racial motivations behind the murder.
Did anyone hear a really high frequency whistle?
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Old 11th February 2020, 06:06 AM   #80
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Originally Posted by catsmate View Post
Did anyone hear a really high frequency whistle?
Woof!
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