Dear Users… (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people) Part 10 - Page 9

JoeMorgue · 30th September 2021, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by TragicMonkey

My theory is that the people who fuss the most about such things are the ones who do the least amount of actual work. There's a lady on my team who (in the olden days when we were still in the office) spent at least 80% of her working hours fussing about her benefits, her online learning courses, her chair, her cubicle, her supplies, her computer...everything except the actual tasks she was being paid to do. She occupied herself with the accoutrements of work, rather than the actual work.

Yeah I've got users like that. Them just setting down at their desk and logging in in the morning is this whole goddamn Japanese Tea Ceremony.

The giggling coyish "Oh it's my OCD, tee hee hee" thing is something I could never hear again and die happy.

Norman Alexander · 30th September 2021, 07:23 AM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

Yeah I've got users like that. Them just setting down at their desk and logging in in the morning is this whole goddamn Japanese Tea Ceremony.

The giggling coyish "Oh it's my OCD, tee hee hee" thing is something I could never hear again and die happy.

Unplug their keyboard. They won't notice and can't work for days. Don't rush to fix it. Everyone else will get stuff done.

catsmate · 1st October 2021, 01:08 AM

Originally Posted by Norman Alexander

Unplug their keyboard. They won't notice and can't work for days. Don't rush to fix it. Everyone else will get stuff done.

Change the layout. I recommend Canadian Multi-lingual........

xterra · 1st October 2021, 05:58 AM

Dvorak

Wudang · 1st October 2021, 06:13 AM

Just pop out the "m" and "n" keys and swap them.

Norman Alexander · 1st October 2021, 06:17 AM

Make the mouse setting "super sensitive", and switch the display to 640x480 resolution with a ghastly high contrast pallet.

JoeMorgue · 1st October 2021, 06:18 AM

Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me.

a_unique_person · 1st October 2021, 06:40 AM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

*Groans, head into wall*

More desk moves. 8 of them. And at least 4 of them are users being moved back to their original desk.

Okay seriously someone reading this thread has got to have been a manager/supervisor at some point in an office setting. Please help me understand the constant need to arbitrarily move people.

My theory. It costs nothing and gives the appearance of action.

Wudang · 1st October 2021, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me.

Never really been an option for me either tbh. Colleagues, yes. Nice to imagine though sometimes.

alfaniner · 1st October 2021, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me.

And probably a firing offense.

theprestige · 4th October 2021, 11:34 AM

Ideal Software Developers: "I understand my software build tool, which is why when I run it in an automated environment, I make sure it's set up to use that environment properly, same as I do when I'm developing locally and configuring everything by hand."

My Software Developers: "tHiS Is tOo cOmPlIcAtEd"

Wudang · 4th October 2021, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by theprestige

Ideal Software Developers: "I understand my software build tool, which is why when I run it in an automated environment, I make sure it's set up to use that environment properly, same as I do when I'm developing locally and configuring everything by hand."

My Software Developers: "tHiS Is tOo cOmPlIcAtEd"

At <Major Bank> I had to deal with both. I wrote and helped support a couple of systems and the big one was a, call it a service layer, that application programmers called instead of learning all the underlying stuff. We never heard much from the ISDs apart from clear questions. Other teams.....
We had a guy join us from one of the former teams and he was a real asset and a good guy. One time me and him were having a few beers after work and he vented a bit about my team's attitude to developers.
I may have mentioned this common interaction:
Us "Have you tried running this by your chief programmer?"
Them "I *am* the chief programmer."
Anyway he thought we had a very negative view of application teams. Then a few weeks later he answered my phone while I was getting a coffee. The guy, a chief programmer with 13 (10+3) years experience with that language in that environment asked to speak to me. Dave said I was away and could he help. The guy said "Well I got this email from him about how my problems were because I had a 'static' instead of a 'dynamic ' link to your programs and I don't know what that means."
Basically it means instead of calling our programs he'd told the build to copy our program into his so he would never pick up new versions.
Dave said "Oh that just means that you....".
The guy interrupts "No, no, no. I don't want to know what it means. Just tell me how to implement it."
Dave "Put the program name in quotes in <build thing>."
"Ok thanks."
Poor Dave was in shock for weeks. In that OS/language/build environment it's schoolboy stuff yet this guy has 13 years of accumulated ignorance. In that and another role I realised it was cultural, guys like Dave were all in teams with leads like Dave. Guys like Mr 13 were all in teams like him and produced guys like him. Many teams looked on RTFM the way the Papacy looked on Martin Luther.

arthwollipot · 5th October 2021, 11:38 PM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me.

It rarely is for anyone. But having a laugh about BOFH moves doesn't mean that we are actually going to do them.

a_unique_person · 6th October 2021, 04:53 PM

YouTube Video This video is not hosted by the ISF. The ISF can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website.

I AGREE

The expert.

Been there, done that

Norman Alexander · 6th October 2021, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by a_unique_person

YouTube Video This video is not hosted by the ISF. The ISF can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website.

I AGREE

The expert.

Been there, done that

Never, NEVER admit to being an expert. Unless you are a consultant. In which case. always say "Yes, please pay me first."

arthwollipot · 13th October 2021, 10:27 PM

I remain unable to understand why people still don't get the idea that the more they behave like dicks to us, the less inclined we are to help them.

Norman Alexander · 13th October 2021, 10:41 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I remain unable to understand why people still don't get the idea that the more they behave like dicks to us, the less inclined we are to help them.

They think of it as "encouragement". They are Karens and Kens.

arthwollipot · 13th October 2021, 11:36 PM

Originally Posted by Norman Alexander

They think of it as "encouragement". They are Karens and Kens.

To be fair, this particular person was a project manager with a developer who hasn't been able to work properly for eight weeks, so they had a genuine reason to complain. But their attitude wasn't helpful.

TragicMonkey · 14th October 2021, 05:04 AM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I remain unable to understand why people still don't get the idea that the more they behave like dicks to us, the less inclined we are to help them.

When I have a stack of work of equal priority I do it in the order most convenient to me. If anyone pesters me with what I feel is undue attitude I move their request to the bottom of the stack. I consider this to be operating as an agent of localized karma.

Dr. Keith · 14th October 2021, 05:22 AM

Originally Posted by TragicMonkey

When I have a stack of work of equal priority I do it in the order most convenient to me. If anyone pesters me with what I feel is undue attitude I move their request to the bottom of the stack. I consider this to be operating as an agent of localized karma.

There are people who are pleasant to work for and their work always seems to float to the top of the to-do list.

One in particular, I know is an odious man who I would not even want to have lunch with, but he is very pleasant via e-mail and makes it seem like I’m not even working when we have to really hash things out.

I was trying to think of a counter example, but we fired them all over the pandemic. I hope the new people work out.

arthwollipot · 14th October 2021, 06:51 PM

Originally Posted by Dr. Keith

There are people who are pleasant to work for and their work always seems to float to the top of the to-do list.

Absolutely. I've got a few callers who are an absolute delight to talk to. I always go above and beyond for those people.

arthwollipot · 14th October 2021, 10:35 PM

We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one:

Quote:

Aquí Moni, Ajá. Pentecostés, puerta de tu padre o Pitágoras. Buena tarde. El fin de simple episodio para dar una vuelta por Internet que me ancho.

English
Here Moni, Aha. Pentecost, your father's door or Pythagoras. Good afternoon. The end of a simple episode to take a tour of the Internet that widens me.

Norman Alexander · 15th October 2021, 06:16 AM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one:

.....que?

Wudang · 15th October 2021, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one:

A UK based and an HK based colleague tried the translation system the bank paid a lot of money for. The HK guy could only make sense of the English -> Cantonese when he was given the original English and was then able to reconstruct it. His description was "you would need to be highly imaginative to work that out." My feeling was it was like a cryptic crossword clue where you have to know the 3rd and 4th meanings of words then drop a tab of acid.

a_unique_person · 15th October 2021, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

Absolutely. I've got a few callers who are an absolute delight to talk to. I always go above and beyond for those people.

I would be mean to them. You are only encouraging dedendency.

rdaneel · 17th October 2021, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one:

Quote:

Aquí Moni, Ajá. Pentecostés, puerta de tu padre o Pitágoras. Buena tarde. El fin de simple episodio para dar una vuelta por Internet que me ancho.

English
Here Moni, Aha. Pentecost, your father's door or Pythagoras. Good afternoon. The end of a simple episode to take a tour of the Internet that widens me.

Shaka, when the walls fell. Kadir beneath Mo Moteh.

Wudang · 17th October 2021, 11:41 AM

I was thinking "penitenziagite! watch out for the draco who cometh in futurum to gnaw your anima! death is super nos! pray the santo pater come to liberar nos a malo and all our sin! ha ha, you like this negromanzia de domini nostri jesu christi! et anco jois m'es dols e plazer m'es dolors...cave el diabolo! semper lying in wait for me in some angulum to snap at my heels. but salvatore is not stupidus! bonum monsasterium, and aqui refectorium and pray to dominum nostrum. and the resto is not worth merda. amen. no?"

Norman Alexander · 17th October 2021, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Wudang

I was thinking "penitenziagite! watch out for the draco who cometh in futurum to gnaw your anima! death is super nos! pray the santo pater come to liberar nos a malo and all our sin! ha ha, you like this negromanzia de domini nostri jesu christi! et anco jois m'es dols e plazer m'es dolors...cave el diabolo! semper lying in wait for me in some angulum to snap at my heels. but salvatore is not stupidus! bonum monsasterium, and aqui refectorium and pray to dominum nostrum. and the resto is not worth merda. amen. no?"

You can shorten that to "covfefe".

Kid Eager · 17th October 2021, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by Wudang

I was thinking "penitenziagite! watch out for the draco who cometh in futurum to gnaw your anima! death is super nos! pray the santo pater come to liberar nos a malo and all our sin! ha ha, you like this negromanzia de domini nostri jesu christi! et anco jois m'es dols e plazer m'es dolors...cave el diabolo! semper lying in wait for me in some angulum to snap at my heels. but salvatore is not stupidus! bonum monsasterium, and aqui refectorium and pray to dominum nostrum. and the resto is not worth merda. amen. no?"

That's just a TragicMonkey copypasta...

Wudang · 18th October 2021, 05:50 AM

It's from

arthwollipot · 19th October 2021, 05:26 PM

"There is a three-day turnaround on New Starter Requests."

"So how long will my New Starter Request take?"

"...Three days."

TragicMonkey · 20th October 2021, 07:31 AM

Dearest User: before you try to score office points by showing up someone else's error you should do a little research first to make certain the error is actually the fault of the person you're trying to show up. Definitely do not start out in email, copying their boss, your boss, their boss's boss, and your boss's boss. Why not? Because the person you're trying to show up might keep excellent documentation and notes and be able to prove in seconds that the error was actually the fault of your own boss. And you just pointed out your own boss's error to their boss.

Sincerely,
Somebody who keeps every relevant email, meticulously placed in folders by topic, and writes copious, dated, decision-relevant comments in his SQL.

catsmate · 20th October 2021, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by TragicMonkey

Dearest User: before you try to score office points by showing up someone else's error you should do a little research first to make certain the error is actually the fault of the person you're trying to show up. Definitely do not start out in email, copying their boss, your boss, their boss's boss, and your boss's boss. Why not? Because the person you're trying to show up might keep excellent documentation and notes and be able to prove in seconds that the error was actually the fault of your own boss. And you just pointed out your own boss's error to their boss.

Sincerely,
Somebody who keeps every relevant email, meticulously placed in folders by topic, and writes copious, dated, decision-relevant comments in his SQL.

Excellent.

Norman Alexander · 20th October 2021, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by TragicMonkey

Dearest User: before you try to score office points by showing up someone else's error you should do a little research first to make certain the error is actually the fault of the person you're trying to show up. Definitely do not start out in email, copying their boss, your boss, their boss's boss, and your boss's boss. Why not? Because the person you're trying to show up might keep excellent documentation and notes and be able to prove in seconds that the error was actually the fault of your own boss. And you just pointed out your own boss's error to their boss.

Sincerely,
Somebody who keeps every relevant email, meticulously placed in folders by topic, and writes copious, dated, decision-relevant comments in his SQL.

Corollary: Read your job description. Pretty sure "Scoring office points" is never one of the bullet points.

TragicMonkey · 20th October 2021, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by Norman Alexander

Corollary: Read your job description. Pretty sure "Scoring office points" is never one of the bullet points.

I think the guy in question is worried about his position. I can't think this is going to help with that, if so!

Norman Alexander · 20th October 2021, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by TragicMonkey

I think the guy in question is worried about his position. I can't think this is going to help with that, if so!

Awesomely bad move, then! Even if he wasn't going to get put back in his box by a much better documented coworker. If you think your job is in jeopardy and you really want to keep it, the last thing you do is start throwing hand grenades like that. I speak from the experience of a much younger and sillier and unwiser version of myself.

arthwollipot · 20th October 2021, 10:32 PM

Of course I can provide a status update on a job for which you can provide me neither the job number nor the user ID of the person who logged it. Just one moment while I put on my Helmet of Clairvoyance.

Norman Alexander · 21st October 2021, 02:26 AM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

Of course I can provide a status update on a job for which you can provide me neither the job number nor the user ID of the person who logged it. Just one moment while I put on my Helmet of Clairvoyance.

"And I think it was logged last week...or was it the week before...I'm not sure, I was an leave at the time and someone logged it for me and I don't know who. Anyway, it was about that thing on my computer at home. You know the one!"

arthwollipot · 21st October 2021, 07:36 PM

You know what I really love about this job? When the users don't trust us to do our jobs. We've got a request to do a thing on a certain date, they just have to phone us to confirm that it will be done on that date. Yes, we will do it on that date. Just could you damn well trust us? This is our job. This is our area of professional expertise. We know what we are doing.

TragicMonkey · 22nd October 2021, 05:23 AM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

You know what I really love about this job? When the users don't trust us to do our jobs. We've got a request to do a thing on a certain date, they just have to phone us to confirm that it will be done on that date. Yes, we will do it on that date. Just could you damn well trust us? This is our job. This is our area of professional expertise. We know what we are doing.

I find it more offensive when they try to be cute about it by sending an email (copying your boss, of course) asking if there are "any barriers they can assist with that are preventing X being done on Wednesday as agreed." Especially when X is a ten minute query that can't be run until Wednesday because the relevant data gets extracted on Tuesday night. We're waiting not because the task takes continuous work over a span of time but because the task requires a scheduled prerequisite to occur. So now I have to humiliate them by replying to all (copying their boss) explaining it all again in terms a five year old would understand.

And of course I'll have the thing done by 7:35 a.m. on Wednesday but I'm not going to deliver it until 4:58 p.m. because there must be consequences.

30th September 2021, 05:32 AM	#321
JoeMorgue Self Employed Remittance Man Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 44,081	Originally Posted by TragicMonkey My theory is that the people who fuss the most about such things are the ones who do the least amount of actual work. There's a lady on my team who (in the olden days when we were still in the office) spent at least 80% of her working hours fussing about her benefits, her online learning courses, her chair, her cubicle, her supplies, her computer...everything except the actual tasks she was being paid to do. She occupied herself with the accoutrements of work, rather than the actual work. Yeah I've got users like that. Them just setting down at their desk and logging in in the morning is this whole goddamn Japanese Tea Ceremony. The giggling coyish "Oh it's my OCD, tee hee hee" thing is something I could never hear again and die happy.
	__________________ "If everyone in the room says water is wet and I say it's dry that makes me smart because at least I'm thinking for myself!" - The Proudly Wrong.

30th September 2021, 07:23 AM	#322
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,963	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue Yeah I've got users like that. Them just setting down at their desk and logging in in the morning is this whole goddamn Japanese Tea Ceremony. The giggling coyish "Oh it's my OCD, tee hee hee" thing is something I could never hear again and die happy. Unplug their keyboard. They won't notice and can't work for days. Don't rush to fix it. Everyone else will get stuff done.
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

1st October 2021, 01:08 AM	#323
catsmate No longer the 1 Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 28,602	Originally Posted by Norman Alexander Unplug their keyboard. They won't notice and can't work for days. Don't rush to fix it. Everyone else will get stuff done. Change the layout. I recommend Canadian Multi-lingual........
	__________________ As human right is always something given, it always in reality reduces to the right which men give, "concede," to each other. If the right to existence is conceded to new-born children, then they have the right; if it is not conceded to them, as was the case among the Spartans and ancient Romans, then they do not have it. For only society can give or concede it to them; they themselves cannot take it, or give it to themselves.

1st October 2021, 05:58 AM	#324
xterra So far, so good... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: On the outskirts of Nowhere; the middle was too crowded Posts: 3,988	Dvorak
	__________________ Over we go....

1st October 2021, 06:13 AM	#325
Wudang BOFH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: People's Republic of South Yorkshire Posts: 15,449	Just pop out the "m" and "n" keys and swap them.
	__________________ "Your deepest pools, like your deepest politicians and philosophers, often turn out more shallow than expected." Walter Scott.

1st October 2021, 06:17 AM	#326
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,963	Make the mouse setting "super sensitive", and switch the display to 640x480 resolution with a ghastly high contrast pallet.
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

1st October 2021, 06:18 AM	#327
JoeMorgue Self Employed Remittance Man Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 44,081	Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me.
	__________________ "If everyone in the room says water is wet and I say it's dry that makes me smart because at least I'm thinking for myself!" - The Proudly Wrong.

1st October 2021, 06:40 AM	#328
a_unique_person Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Waiting for the pod bay door to open. Posts: 45,249	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue Groans, head into wall More desk moves. 8 of them. And at least 4 of them are users being moved back to their original desk. Okay seriously someone reading this thread has got to have been a manager/supervisor at some point in an office setting. Please help me understand the constant need to arbitrarily move people. My theory. It costs nothing and gives the appearance of action.
	__________________ *Continually pushing the boundaries of mediocrity.* Everything is possible, but not everything is probable. “Perception is real, but the truth is not.” - Imelda Marcos

1st October 2021, 07:22 AM	#329
Wudang BOFH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: People's Republic of South Yorkshire Posts: 15,449	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me. Never really been an option for me either tbh. Colleagues, yes. Nice to imagine though sometimes.
	__________________ "Your deepest pools, like your deepest politicians and philosophers, often turn out more shallow than expected." Walter Scott.

1st October 2021, 08:34 AM	#330
alfaniner Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Sorth Dakonsin Posts: 27,892	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me. And probably a firing offense.
	__________________ Science is self-correcting. Woo is self-contradicting.

4th October 2021, 11:34 AM	#331
theprestige Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The Antimemetics Division Posts: 64,295	Ideal Software Developers: "I understand my software build tool, which is why when I run it in an automated environment, I make sure it's set up to use that environment properly, same as I do when I'm developing locally and configuring everything by hand." My Software Developers: "tHiS Is tOo cOmPlIcAtEd"
	__________________ There is no Antimemetics Division.

4th October 2021, 12:20 PM	#332
Wudang BOFH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: People's Republic of South Yorkshire Posts: 15,449	Originally Posted by theprestige Ideal Software Developers: "I understand my software build tool, which is why when I run it in an automated environment, I make sure it's set up to use that environment properly, same as I do when I'm developing locally and configuring everything by hand." My Software Developers: "tHiS Is tOo cOmPlIcAtEd" At <Major Bank> I had to deal with both. I wrote and helped support a couple of systems and the big one was a, call it a service layer, that application programmers called instead of learning all the underlying stuff. We never heard much from the ISDs apart from clear questions. Other teams..... We had a guy join us from one of the former teams and he was a real asset and a good guy. One time me and him were having a few beers after work and he vented a bit about my team's attitude to developers. I may have mentioned this common interaction: Us "Have you tried running this by your chief programmer?" Them "I am the chief programmer." Anyway he thought we had a very negative view of application teams. Then a few weeks later he answered my phone while I was getting a coffee. The guy, a chief programmer with 13 (10+3) years experience with that language in that environment asked to speak to me. Dave said I was away and could he help. The guy said "Well I got this email from him about how my problems were because I had a 'static' instead of a 'dynamic ' link to your programs and I don't know what that means." Basically it means instead of calling our programs he'd told the build to copy our program into his so he would never pick up new versions. Dave said "Oh that just means that you....". The guy interrupts "No, no, no. I don't want to know what it means. Just tell me how to implement it." Dave "Put the program name in quotes in <build thing>." "Ok thanks." Poor Dave was in shock for weeks. In that OS/language/build environment it's schoolboy stuff yet this guy has 13 years of accumulated ignorance. In that and another role I realised it was cultural, guys like Dave were all in teams with leads like Dave. Guys like Mr 13 were all in teams like him and produced guys like him. Many teams looked on RTFM the way the Papacy looked on Martin Luther.
	__________________ "Your deepest pools, like your deepest politicians and philosophers, often turn out more shallow than expected." Walter Scott. Last edited by Wudang; 4th October 2021 at 12:21 PM.

5th October 2021, 11:38 PM	#333
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 82,020	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue Again people "LOL just screw with your users, it's so much fun" isn't an option for me. It rarely is for anyone. But having a laugh about BOFH moves doesn't mean that we are actually going to do them.
	__________________ Слава Україні! Героям Слава! 20220224 - 20230224

13th October 2021, 10:27 PM	#336
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 82,020	I remain unable to understand why people still don't get the idea that the more they behave like dicks to us, the less inclined we are to help them.
	__________________ Слава Україні! Героям Слава! 20220224 - 20230224

13th October 2021, 10:41 PM	#337
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,963	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I remain unable to understand why people still don't get the idea that the more they behave like dicks to us, the less inclined we are to help them. They think of it as "encouragement". They are Karens and Kens.
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

13th October 2021, 11:36 PM	#338
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 82,020	Originally Posted by Norman Alexander They think of it as "encouragement". They are Karens and Kens. To be fair, this particular person was a project manager with a developer who hasn't been able to work properly for eight weeks, so they had a genuine reason to complain. But their attitude wasn't helpful.
	__________________ Слава Україні! Героям Слава! 20220224 - 20230224

14th October 2021, 05:04 AM	#339
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 66,007	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I remain unable to understand why people still don't get the idea that the more they behave like dicks to us, the less inclined we are to help them. When I have a stack of work of equal priority I do it in the order most convenient to me. If anyone pesters me with what I feel is undue attitude I move their request to the bottom of the stack. I consider this to be operating as an agent of localized karma.
	__________________ You added nothing to that conversation, Barbara.

14th October 2021, 05:22 AM	#340
Dr. Keith Not a doctor. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 25,587	Originally Posted by TragicMonkey When I have a stack of work of equal priority I do it in the order most convenient to me. If anyone pesters me with what I feel is undue attitude I move their request to the bottom of the stack. I consider this to be operating as an agent of localized karma. There are people who are pleasant to work for and their work always seems to float to the top of the to-do list. One in particular, I know is an odious man who I would not even want to have lunch with, but he is very pleasant via e-mail and makes it seem like I’m not even working when we have to really hash things out. I was trying to think of a counter example, but we fired them all over the pandemic. I hope the new people work out.
	__________________ Suffering is not a punishment not a fruit of sin, it is a gift of God. He allows us to share in His suffering and to make up for the sins of the world. -Mother Teresa If I had a pet panda I would name it Snowflake.

14th October 2021, 06:51 PM	#341
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 82,020	Originally Posted by Dr. Keith There are people who are pleasant to work for and their work always seems to float to the top of the to-do list. Absolutely. I've got a few callers who are an absolute delight to talk to. I always go above and beyond for those people.
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14th October 2021, 10:35 PM	#342
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 82,020	We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one: Quote: Aquí Moni, Ajá. Pentecostés, puerta de tu padre o Pitágoras. Buena tarde. El fin de simple episodio para dar una vuelta por Internet que me ancho. English Here Moni, Aha. Pentecost, your father's door or Pythagoras. Good afternoon. The end of a simple episode to take a tour of the Internet that widens me.
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15th October 2021, 06:16 AM	#343
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,963	Originally Posted by arthwollipot We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one: .....que?
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

15th October 2021, 08:13 AM	#344
Wudang BOFH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: People's Republic of South Yorkshire Posts: 15,449	Originally Posted by arthwollipot We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one: A UK based and an HK based colleague tried the translation system the bank paid a lot of money for. The HK guy could only make sense of the English -> Cantonese when he was given the original English and was then able to reconstruct it. His description was "you would need to be highly imaginative to work that out." My feeling was it was like a cryptic crossword clue where you have to know the 3rd and 4th meanings of words then drop a tab of acid.
	__________________ "Your deepest pools, like your deepest politicians and philosophers, often turn out more shallow than expected." Walter Scott.

15th October 2021, 08:16 PM	#345
a_unique_person Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Waiting for the pod bay door to open. Posts: 45,249	Originally Posted by arthwollipot Absolutely. I've got a few callers who are an absolute delight to talk to. I always go above and beyond for those people. I would be mean to them. You are only encouraging dedendency.
	__________________ *Continually pushing the boundaries of mediocrity.* Everything is possible, but not everything is probable. “Perception is real, but the truth is not.” - Imelda Marcos

17th October 2021, 10:53 AM	#346
rdaneel Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I'M IN THE PHONEBOOK! I'M SOMEBODY!!! Posts: 4,598	Originally Posted by arthwollipot We, apparently, are now taking voice mails. They're put through a voice-to-text, and in this case apparently a translation through Google Translate. We've been having a good old laugh at this one: Quote: Aquí Moni, Ajá. Pentecostés, puerta de tu padre o Pitágoras. Buena tarde. El fin de simple episodio para dar una vuelta por Internet que me ancho. English Here Moni, Aha. Pentecost, your father's door or Pythagoras. Good afternoon. The end of a simple episode to take a tour of the Internet that widens me. Shaka, when the walls fell. Kadir beneath Mo Moteh.
	__________________ "Let me guess, my theories appall you, my heresies outrage you, I never answer letters, and you don't like my tie." - The Doctor "I heard some things I can't prove from someone I don't know, and God dammit, that's enough for me." - Penny Arcade "Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!" - Agatha Heterodyne

17th October 2021, 11:41 AM	#347
Wudang BOFH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: People's Republic of South Yorkshire Posts: 15,449	I was thinking "penitenziagite! watch out for the draco who cometh in futurum to gnaw your anima! death is super nos! pray the santo pater come to liberar nos a malo and all our sin! ha ha, you like this negromanzia de domini nostri jesu christi! et anco jois m'es dols e plazer m'es dolors...cave el diabolo! semper lying in wait for me in some angulum to snap at my heels. but salvatore is not stupidus! bonum monsasterium, and aqui refectorium and pray to dominum nostrum. and the resto is not worth merda. amen. no?"
	__________________ "Your deepest pools, like your deepest politicians and philosophers, often turn out more shallow than expected." Walter Scott.

17th October 2021, 02:02 PM	#348
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,963	Originally Posted by Wudang I was thinking "penitenziagite! watch out for the draco who cometh in futurum to gnaw your anima! death is super nos! pray the santo pater come to liberar nos a malo and all our sin! ha ha, you like this negromanzia de domini nostri jesu christi! et anco jois m'es dols e plazer m'es dolors...cave el diabolo! semper lying in wait for me in some angulum to snap at my heels. but salvatore is not stupidus! bonum monsasterium, and aqui refectorium and pray to dominum nostrum. and the resto is not worth merda. amen. no?" You can shorten that to "covfefe".
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

17th October 2021, 10:24 PM	#349
Kid Eager Philosopher Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 7,296	Originally Posted by Wudang I was thinking "penitenziagite! watch out for the draco who cometh in futurum to gnaw your anima! death is super nos! pray the santo pater come to liberar nos a malo and all our sin! ha ha, you like this negromanzia de domini nostri jesu christi! et anco jois m'es dols e plazer m'es dolors...cave el diabolo! semper lying in wait for me in some angulum to snap at my heels. but salvatore is not stupidus! bonum monsasterium, and aqui refectorium and pray to dominum nostrum. and the resto is not worth merda. amen. no?" That's just a TragicMonkey copypasta...
Kid Eager Philosopher Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 7,296	__________________ What do Narwhals, Magnets and Apollo 13 have in common? Think about it....

18th October 2021, 05:50 AM	#350
Wudang BOFH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: People's Republic of South Yorkshire Posts: 15,449	It's from the movie The Name of the Rose, spoken by Ron Perlman's character Salvatore.
	__________________ "Your deepest pools, like your deepest politicians and philosophers, often turn out more shallow than expected." Walter Scott.

19th October 2021, 05:26 PM	#351
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 82,020	"There is a three-day turnaround on New Starter Requests." "So how long will my New Starter Request take?" "...Three days."
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20th October 2021, 07:31 AM	#352
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 66,007	Dearest User: before you try to score office points by showing up someone else's error you should do a little research first to make certain the error is actually the fault of the person you're trying to show up. Definitely do not start out in email, copying their boss, your boss, their boss's boss, and your boss's boss. Why not? Because the person you're trying to show up might keep excellent documentation and notes and be able to prove in seconds that the error was actually the fault of your own boss. And you just pointed out your own boss's error to their boss. Sincerely, Somebody who keeps every relevant email, meticulously placed in folders by topic, and writes copious, dated, decision-relevant comments in his SQL.
	__________________ You added nothing to that conversation, Barbara.

20th October 2021, 10:09 AM	#353
catsmate No longer the 1 Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 28,602	Originally Posted by TragicMonkey Dearest User: before you try to score office points by showing up someone else's error you should do a little research first to make certain the error is actually the fault of the person you're trying to show up. Definitely do not start out in email, copying their boss, your boss, their boss's boss, and your boss's boss. Why not? Because the person you're trying to show up might keep excellent documentation and notes and be able to prove in seconds that the error was actually the fault of your own boss. And you just pointed out your own boss's error to their boss. Sincerely, Somebody who keeps every relevant email, meticulously placed in folders by topic, and writes copious, dated, decision-relevant comments in his SQL. Excellent.
	__________________ As human right is always something given, it always in reality reduces to the right which men give, "concede," to each other. If the right to existence is conceded to new-born children, then they have the right; if it is not conceded to them, as was the case among the Spartans and ancient Romans, then they do not have it. For only society can give or concede it to them; they themselves cannot take it, or give it to themselves.

20th October 2021, 02:29 PM	#354
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,963	Originally Posted by TragicMonkey Dearest User: before you try to score office points by showing up someone else's error you should do a little research first to make certain the error is actually the fault of the person you're trying to show up. Definitely do not start out in email, copying their boss, your boss, their boss's boss, and your boss's boss. Why not? Because the person you're trying to show up might keep excellent documentation and notes and be able to prove in seconds that the error was actually the fault of your own boss. And you just pointed out your own boss's error to their boss. Sincerely, Somebody who keeps every relevant email, meticulously placed in folders by topic, and writes copious, dated, decision-relevant comments in his SQL. Corollary: Read your job description. Pretty sure "Scoring office points" is never one of the bullet points.
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

20th October 2021, 02:41 PM	#355
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 66,007	Originally Posted by Norman Alexander Corollary: Read your job description. Pretty sure "Scoring office points" is never one of the bullet points. I think the guy in question is worried about his position. I can't think this is going to help with that, if so!
	__________________ You added nothing to that conversation, Barbara.

20th October 2021, 04:46 PM	#356
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,963	Originally Posted by TragicMonkey I think the guy in question is worried about his position. I can't think this is going to help with that, if so! Awesomely bad move, then! Even if he wasn't going to get put back in his box by a much better documented coworker. If you think your job is in jeopardy and you really want to keep it, the last thing you do is start throwing hand grenades like that. I speak from the experience of a much younger and sillier and unwiser version of myself.
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

20th October 2021, 10:32 PM	#357
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 82,020	Of course I can provide a status update on a job for which you can provide me neither the job number nor the user ID of the person who logged it. Just one moment while I put on my Helmet of Clairvoyance.
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