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Tags donald trump , politics humor

View Poll Results: Where will Trump be on Jan. 20, 2021?
At Biden's inauguration, of course 4 4.44%
At Mar-A-Lago, of course 49 54.44%
Chained to the Resolute desk, of course 5 5.56%
Golfing at the Moscow Country Club 7 7.78%
Golfing with his BFF, Kim Jong Un 0 0%
In his Trump Tower penthouse, licking his wounds 9 10.00%
Camping out on the front steps of the Supreme Court building 0 0%
In the arms of Ivanka, crying into her soft, warm... shoulders 2 2.22%
In the Metropolitan Correctional Center, carving his name next to J. Epstein 1 1.11%
Who? 12 13.33%
On Planet X, where everyone's a winner! 1 1.11%
Voters: 90. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 16th November 2020, 09:54 AM   #81
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Originally Posted by Craig4 View Post
I could see something like that. It would be a useful image to his supporters, standing to be sworn in for a second term and being rebuffed by the chief justice, Biden, the Secret Service. To him it wouldn't be a humiliation. It would be validation of a conspiracy against him.
To be fair, there is a conspiracy against him. He's already identified the Democratic Party, elements of the Republican Party, the mainstream media and everybody involved in running the election as conspirators. However, it seems to me that elections are a special case of Ryan Mackey's inflationary limit of conspiracy theories; rather than the conspiracy becoming the worst possible explanation as the number of conspirators approaches the entire population of the world, a conspiracy theory concerning an election becomes an unnecessary explanation at the point where the number of conspirators becomes a sufficient fraction of the electorate to achieve the supposed results of the conspiracy by simply winning the election. The fact that Trump has identified so many people conspiring against him makes it clear that this, rather than any skulduggery, is the actual methodology and outcome of the conspiracy to remove him from the Presidency.

Dave
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Old 16th November 2020, 09:57 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by Cavemonster View Post
You forget that Trump can't stand the spotlight being off him. It's pathological. Remember his dueling town hall?

So the idea that he'd prefer to be quietly doing ANYTHING out of the public eye while Biden gets a lot of attention is massively out of character.

I'm not sure exactly how his cry for attention will manifest, but I've got a few guesses.

He might try to counterprogram with a rally or a press conference, teasing some bombshell announcement.

He might attempt to do something at the last minute using his presidential powers to create a news moment that overshadows the inauguration. Maybe declaring war or launching a nuke? announcing that a foreign power had tampered in the election rendering it moot?

Not sure what he will do, but the most out of character thing would be for him to be off camera anywhere that day.
I came here to suggest exactly this.

Trump will hold a rally and claim that his numbers were better than Biden's inauguration numbers.
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Old 16th November 2020, 10:35 AM   #83
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Originally Posted by Dave Rogers View Post
To be fair, there is a conspiracy against him. He's already identified the Democratic Party, elements of the Republican Party, the mainstream media and everybody involved in running the election as conspirators. However, it seems to me that elections are a special case of Ryan Mackey's inflationary limit of conspiracy theories; rather than the conspiracy becoming the worst possible explanation as the number of conspirators approaches the entire population of the world, a conspiracy theory concerning an election becomes an unnecessary explanation at the point where the number of conspirators becomes a sufficient fraction of the electorate to achieve the supposed results of the conspiracy by simply winning the election. The fact that Trump has identified so many people conspiring against him makes it clear that this, rather than any skulduggery, is the actual methodology and outcome of the conspiracy to remove him from the Presidency.

Dave
Note -- he still says "Democrat Party", like many of the pundits on state TV (FOX).
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Old 16th November 2020, 11:03 AM   #84
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There should be a "Dead on the White House Lawn after he does something stupid like grab a pistol from an SS agent and tries to shoot it out" option - or simply a "Suicide by SS agent" option
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Old 16th November 2020, 11:33 AM   #85
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Originally Posted by The Great Zaganza View Post
Trump would need to have the Military on his side, and the military would need to be willing to suppress opposition by force.
Not really, the police and having the military stand aside might work out fine for him. But it does not seem that many people are taking his trial balloons for a coup seriously.
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Old 16th November 2020, 11:41 AM   #86
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January 20, 2021.

At Mar-a-Lago, the True Government in Exile is meeting for the Inauguration of Donald J. Trump for this second term in office - the second of many to come.

Bannon, Barr, Guiliani, Miller, Wolf and Conway are standing around the Past and Future President in their ceremonial robes.
John Bolton was permitted to attend, but had to shave off his moustache to show proper penance.

At 8:50, to be earlier than Biden, Trump places his right hand on his personal copy of the Turner Diaries and, under the guidance of Paula White recites the Fourteen Words and becomes the True and Only Rightful Ruler of the Confederacy of American States.

Millions of his followers wanted to attend, but only a handful managed to raise the $50,000/plate.
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Old 16th November 2020, 11:46 AM   #87
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Originally Posted by The Great Zaganza View Post
my White House Sauces tell me that Trump is planning to snatch the Bible Biden will be sworn in at the last second, thus giving him another term!
Because that is how that works.
I actually wouldn't be surprised to see some FOTL-type loon make that argument.
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Old 16th November 2020, 07:13 PM   #88
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Originally Posted by Dave Rogers View Post
Hey, maybe he can just wait till Biden's about to be sworn in, then shout "I, Donald, a human soul of the family Trump, refuse to contract with you for the service of becoming President of the United States of America." Then all he has to do is point out how the gold trim round the flag means that the inauguration is being held under Admiralty Law, and he'll magically get his second term.

Dave
Needs more "herebys" for that to work.
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Old 17th November 2020, 10:56 AM   #89
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In the oval office, being sworn in by Kavanagh, with the White House surrounded by barbed wire and heavily armed federal thugs.
It'll be like when there were two popes.
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Old 17th November 2020, 11:03 AM   #90
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Here is a preview of Joe Biden's Inauguration Day. Dawn French is playing the part of Donald Trump.

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Old 17th November 2020, 01:55 PM   #91
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I voted him to be at the inauguration, because much as I despise him, I hope he will show that amount of integrity.

Hans
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Old 17th November 2020, 02:01 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by MRC_Hans View Post
I voted him to be at the inauguration, because much as I despise him, I hope he will show that amount of integrity.

Hans
I think the smart money is always on Trump being a piece of ****.

I bookmarked this a few weeks ago, as it reminds me that there's a type of person out there who is somehow a fully functioning adult despite living in a delusion: [WSJ: If He Loses, Trump Will Concede Gracefully]
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Old 17th November 2020, 02:08 PM   #93
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I went with "In his Trump Tower penthouse, licking his wounds" because it's closest to my actual expectation:



"On TV and radio, launching his new MAGA media network and officially announcing his 2024 presidential candidacy."
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Old 18th November 2020, 04:06 PM   #94
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Beau of the Fifth Column makes an interesting argument as to why Trump TV won't happen. The station would have to rely on advertising, and due to the contraversial nature of Trump he wouldn't attract advertisers or lose would them very quickly. Add to that the fact trump is a **** businessman, even if he managed to get it off the ground, it would crash and burn pretty quickly.

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Old 18th November 2020, 06:44 PM   #95
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Originally Posted by alfaniner View Post
Note -- he still says "Democrat Party", like many of the pundits on state TV (FOX).
Fox is deep state TV now, hadn't you heard?
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Old 18th November 2020, 07:27 PM   #96
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Oh dear, the ocean called and said it would refuse Trump, should he attempt to enter it. The very waves would repel him, he would be unable to sink into the depths; instead, he would be forever damned to writhe upon the surface of the waters, screaming in rage and beating his tiny pudgy paws against their unbreakable surface. Scorched by the merciless rays of the unforgiving sun he would be, turning his healthy orange skin into the burnt leathery hide of an old 1950's suitcase. Weeping and reeking and oozing translucent jelly, Trump would have to drag himself to shore, frustrated in his attempts to seek solace within the cooling comfort of the ocean. The thalassal mysteries are denied to him; he shall have to pursue his journey elsewhere. Perhaps...a volcano? Maybe Trump will find peace and comfort in the roasting fires of hellish heat that would strip his rancid carcase of all that is burnable and vaporize his shrivelled soul to nothingness? Yeah, let's go with that, that sounds good.
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Old 18th November 2020, 10:03 PM   #97
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Surely there's an opening at Liberty University.
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Old 18th November 2020, 10:15 PM   #98
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Biden closing in on the 80 million total votes

President Elect Joe Biden: 79,537,684

President Reject Donald Trump: 73,617,668

Difference 5,920,016
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Old 19th November 2020, 11:14 AM   #99
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Originally Posted by Solitaire View Post
Surely there's an opening at Liberty University.
Only if Falwell Jr can watch Trump bang his wife.
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Old 19th November 2020, 11:46 AM   #100
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Originally Posted by Solitaire View Post
Surely there's an opening at Liberty University.
I thought the pool-boy filled it.
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Old 19th November 2020, 01:47 PM   #101
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Oh dear, the ocean called and said it would refuse Trump, should he attempt to enter it. The very waves would repel him, he would be unable to sink into the depths; instead, he would be forever damned to writhe upon the surface of the waters, screaming in rage and beating his tiny pudgy paws against their unbreakable surface. Scorched by the merciless rays of the unforgiving sun he would be, turning his healthy orange skin into the burnt leathery hide of an old 1950's suitcase. Weeping and reeking and oozing translucent jelly, Trump would have to drag himself to shore, frustrated in his attempts to seek solace within the cooling comfort of the ocean. The thalassal mysteries are denied to him; he shall have to pursue his journey elsewhere. Perhaps...a volcano? Maybe Trump will find peace and comfort in the roasting fires of hellish heat that would strip his rancid carcase of all that is burnable and vaporize his shrivelled soul to nothingness? Yeah, let's go with that, that sounds good.
You mean like Rimbaud's 'bateau ivre'? Very literary. However, I fear he is booking his charter jet to Morocco right now.
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Old 23rd November 2020, 11:53 AM   #102
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
If Trump will not come to the ocean, the ocean must come to Trump. A narrow tsunami shall issue forth and sweep his orange butt into the sea. There he will be made one with the glorious waters, the sparkling waves, the midnight depths. There is no escape from the ocean, when it summons you will end up there. Sooner or later, in one piece or crushed to smithereens by mighty tidal forces, the ocean claims unto itself its prizes. Even the strongest orange is diluted to nothing by the thalassic vastness.
If it's planning on sweeping his orange butt into the sea, can I suggest not too narrow...
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Old 23rd November 2020, 11:58 AM   #103
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Oh dear, the ocean called and said it would refuse Trump, should he attempt to enter it. The very waves would repel him, he would be unable to sink into the depths; instead, he would be forever damned to writhe upon the surface of the waters, screaming in rage and beating his tiny pudgy paws against their unbreakable surface. Scorched by the merciless rays of the unforgiving sun he would be, turning his healthy orange skin into the burnt leathery hide of an old 1950's suitcase. Weeping and reeking and oozing translucent jelly, Trump would have to drag himself to shore, frustrated in his attempts to seek solace within the cooling comfort of the ocean. The thalassal mysteries are denied to him; he shall have to pursue his journey elsewhere. Perhaps...a volcano? Maybe Trump will find peace and comfort in the roasting fires of hellish heat that would strip his rancid carcase of all that is burnable and vaporize his shrivelled soul to nothingness? Yeah, let's go with that, that sounds good.
I don't have a problem with this option. Anyone else have a problem with this or can we wave it through? (Pun not intended)
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Old 23rd November 2020, 01:51 PM   #104
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I'm not sure. Last night I dreamt a beautiful dream of insects, and woke up thinking that perhaps Trump would find peace and serenity in being chewed to tiny pieces and ingested by hundreds of thousand of small insects? He would then thrive and rejoice as his vital essences were utilized to further the mysterious workings of our insect friends, whether that would be building a mighty hive or just making more insects. The fluttering of delicate wings, the smooth shine of a carapace, the tiny sounds of clicking mandibles...yes, I think Trump may well "be best" if he were to go unto the insects and merge with them in a blissful unity.
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Old 23rd November 2020, 04:13 PM   #105
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
I'm not sure. Last night I dreamt a beautiful dream of insects, and woke up thinking that perhaps Trump would find peace and serenity in being chewed to tiny pieces and ingested by hundreds of thousand of small insects? He would then thrive and rejoice as his vital essences were utilized to further the mysterious workings of our insect friends, whether that would be building a mighty hive or just making more insects. The fluttering of delicate wings, the smooth shine of a carapace, the tiny sounds of clicking mandibles...yes, I think Trump may well "be best" if he were to go unto the insects and merge with them in a blissful unity.
A Kafka metamorphosis would be good also. Ivanka will run out of hamberders and ***** to give faster than Grete.

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Old 23rd November 2020, 04:14 PM   #106
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Out doing some outrageous stunt in hopes of attracting ateention away from Biden.
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Old 23rd November 2020, 04:26 PM   #107
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
I'm not sure. Last night I dreamt a beautiful dream of insects, and woke up thinking that perhaps Trump would find peace and serenity in being chewed to tiny pieces and ingested by hundreds of thousand of small insects? He would then thrive and rejoice as his vital essences were utilized to further the mysterious workings of our insect friends, whether that would be building a mighty hive or just making more insects. The fluttering of delicate wings, the smooth shine of a carapace, the tiny sounds of clicking mandibles...yes, I think Trump may well "be best" if he were to go unto the insects and merge with them in a blissful unity.
Ah, yes. The tiny sounds of tiny clicking manacles on tiny hands as he is arrested by the insector general.
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Old 23rd November 2020, 04:37 PM   #108
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Oh dear, the ocean called and said it would refuse Trump, should he attempt to enter it. The very waves would repel him, he would be unable to sink into the depths; instead, he would be forever damned to writhe upon the surface of the waters, screaming in rage and beating his tiny pudgy paws against their unbreakable surface. Scorched by the merciless rays of the unforgiving sun he would be, turning his healthy orange skin into the burnt leathery hide of an old 1950's suitcase. Weeping and reeking and oozing translucent jelly, Trump would have to drag himself to shore, frustrated in his attempts to seek solace within the cooling comfort of the ocean. The thalassal mysteries are denied to him; he shall have to pursue his journey elsewhere. Perhaps...a volcano? Maybe Trump will find peace and comfort in the roasting fires of hellish heat that would strip his rancid carcase of all that is burnable and vaporize his shrivelled soul to nothingness? Yeah, let's go with that, that sounds good.

Is that rejection binding on non-oceanic watery realms as well? If not, there are still some very large lakes, and there are also glaciers. He could for instance descend a crevasse and be frozen into the Antarctic ice for a few hundred years, until climate change slides him off the continent with all the other ice, submerging the D.C. swamp once and for all; an inevitability he'd be proud to participate in and take the credit for.

But if the element of water in its entirety has excluded him, he'll have to choose from the other three. Access to a good tectonic subduction zone without entry through the off-limits sea bed would be difficult, but an ambitious drilling operation (using an appropriately wide bore) could still achieve it.
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