Could zombies exist on Mars?

shemp · 17th January 2021, 08:14 PM

First, a disclaimer: I do not actually think that there are zombies presently on Mars.

But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars? I mean, if zombies are already dead, do they still need air, water and food? If they don't need these, then zombies could exist on Mars.

I think we need answers to this question before we send people to Mars. If mankind eventually builds colonies on Mars, we need to protect them from the possibility of dead colonists rising from their graves and eating peoples' brains. I don't think NASA is doing the kind of research necessary to answer this, and that President Biden and the Democratically-controlled Congress need to fund the crucially-important research that pro-zombie Republicans have been blocking for years. I for one would not want to go to Mars if I had to worry about being eaten by zombies roaming around the Martian desert and attacking people inside the colony!

Norman Alexander · 17th January 2021, 08:29 PM

A1: Yes.

A2: No.

Captain_Swoop · 17th January 2021, 09:36 PM

They would get eaten by the spiders.

Trebuchet · 17th January 2021, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by Captain_Swoop

They would get eaten by the spiders.

No, spiders are on the moon. I saw it on DoctorWho.

Mojo · 17th January 2021, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by shemp

First, a disclaimer: I do not actually think that there are zombies presently on Mars.

But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars? I mean, if zombies are already dead, do they still need air, water and food? If they don't need these, then zombies could exist on Mars.

I think we need answers to this question before we send people to Mars. If mankind eventually builds colonies on Mars, we need to protect them from the possibility of dead colonists rising from their graves and eating peoples' brains. I don't think NASA is doing the kind of research necessary to answer this, and that President Biden and the Democratically-controlled Congress need to fund the crucially-important research that pro-zombie Republicans have been blocking for years. I for one would not want to go to Mars if I had to worry about being eaten by zombies roaming around the Martian desert and attacking people inside the colony!

Would these be slow zombies or fast zombies?

Lukraak_Sisser · 17th January 2021, 11:12 PM

We all know that Martian disintegrator rays are far more efficient than earth made ones, so they'd clean up their zombies in short order.

rockinkt · 17th January 2021, 11:16 PM

The Zombies have been on Mars since 1964. Rod Argent was looking for a girl but she's not there.

Dave Rogers · 18th January 2021, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by Captain_Swoop

They would get eaten by the spiders.

They're the spiders from Mars. That means they're not there any more, they're somewhere else. Duh.

Dave

RolandRat · 18th January 2021, 12:50 AM

Originally Posted by shemp

I don't think NASA is doing the kind of research necessary to answer this,

You're wrong!

https://climate.nasa.gov/blog/1059/t...lypse-is-nigh/

Just do what a lot of people do and stop at the headline. You don't need to actually read the articles to be informed /nods

Roboramma · 18th January 2021, 02:22 AM

Zombies can't exist anywhere.

Mars is a place included in "anywhere".

No, zombies can't exist on Mars.

Captain_Swoop · 18th January 2021, 03:52 AM

Maybe they live in the Pyramids

DevilsAdvocate · 18th January 2021, 04:07 AM

Originally Posted by Lukraak_Sisser

We all know that Martian disintegrator rays are far more efficient than earth made ones, so they'd clean up their zombies in short order.

Martian disintegrator rays are ineffective. When used, it disintegrates.

And, brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.

YouTube Video This video is not hosted by the ISF. The ISF can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website.

I AGREE

Sideroxylon · 18th January 2021, 04:11 AM

Yes, but their eyes would pop out like in Total Recall.

DevilsAdvocate · 18th January 2021, 04:18 AM

Originally Posted by Captain_Swoop

Maybe they live in the Pyramids

Pyramids are full of grain storage like the Bible says. They wouldn't have room for zombies. You have to think logical. Don't just believe all this nonsense about spiders on Mars when we know it is lizard vampires from underground interruption momentum formulas generating holistic quantum perceptions of communist copper wristbands bearing secret symbols of the coming of a legislative bill directing a minor change in funding on a program that nobody has heard of that only has a small affect on the amount paid on a federal contract to a single company for a limited period of a few months.

Lukraak_Sisser · 18th January 2021, 05:07 AM

Originally Posted by DevilsAdvocate

Martian disintegrator rays are ineffective. When used, it disintegrates.

And, brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.

YouTube Video This video is not hosted by the ISF. The ISF can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website.

I AGREE

Yes, but that's the *earth* version.
The martian version worked, even against zombies with a disintegration proof vest.

Steve001 · 18th January 2021, 07:15 AM

Only in the movies. https://m.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1046...ef_=m_tt_ov_vi

Bob001 · 18th January 2021, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by shemp

First, a disclaimer: I do not actually think that there are zombies presently on Mars.

But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars? I mean, if zombies are already dead, do they still need air, water and food? If they don't need these, then zombies could exist on Mars.
....

Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community?

Bob001 · 18th January 2021, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by RolandRat

You're wrong!

https://climate.nasa.gov/blog/1059/t...lypse-is-nigh/
....

A couple years ago both the CDC and FEMA were urging people to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Their point was that preparing for an attack by the "living impaired" -- stockpiling supplies, making family plans, etc. -- is also good prep for hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.
https://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthma...ie-apocalypse/
https://www.ready.gov/community-prep...mbie-awareness

Apathia · 18th January 2021, 11:46 AM

Zombie Tardigrades, of course!

RolandRat · 18th January 2021, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by Bob001

A couple years ago both the CDC and FEMA were urging people to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Their point was that preparing for an attack by the "living impaired" -- stockpiling supplies, making family plans, etc. -- is also good prep for hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.
https://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthma...ie-apocalypse/
https://www.ready.gov/community-prep...mbie-awareness

That's actually kinda cool. Although I do think that the people who would actually prepare for a zombie apocalypse may not be the kind of people to act rationally in any other sort of disaster.

shemp · 18th January 2021, 09:04 PM

Originally Posted by Bob001

Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community?

Maybe they just like the taste?

arthwollipot · 18th January 2021, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by Bob001

Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community?

Zombies do require a steady supply of braaaaaiiiiins.

Oystein · 22nd January 2021, 04:33 PM

My hunch is that even while zombies are dead, their bodies still consist of bones, cartilage, muscles even, etc, and that they need and employ these for their motion (and commotion). Now I am not an expert on Mars, but doesn't it get awfully cold on Mars' surface, at night at least, on account of larger distance to sun, less of an atmosphere to trap sunlight, and lack of oceans to moderate temperatures? So that would mean the Zombies would have to expend an awful lot of energy to keep from freezing - difficult to do when you are dead. I don't think frozen Zombies are much of a threat.

Cavemonster · 22nd January 2021, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by Bob001

Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community?

This is why zombies eat brains:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPc7c4W6btY

Ziggurat · 22nd January 2021, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by shemp

But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars?

Depends. There are multiple kinds of zombies. Zombies which are truly dead, but reanimated by dark magic, do not need any of the normal life sustaining things humans need. They could exist on mars, BUT, they would have to be freeze dried first, or the cold temperatures would immobilize them as water in their flesh freezes.

Other zombies, such as those caused by viral infection and other nonmagical means, are not truly dead. They still require biological processes, and they would not survive on Mars.

The biggest thing that zombie stories get wrong, though, is that zombie hordes on earth cannot last. They will always and inevitably be destroyed, in a matter of weeks if not days. What from, you might ask?

Insects. Insects will devour zombie hordes, and pretty quickly.

Lupus · 23rd January 2021, 12:58 AM

It's not zombies you should be worrying about on mars but razor killer robots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCH8...MxaRthD39K_51p

17th January 2021, 08:14 PM	#1
shemp a flimsy character...perfidious and despised Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: People's Democratic Republic of Planet X Posts: 40,190	Could zombies exist on Mars? First, a disclaimer: I do not actually think that there are zombies presently on Mars. But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars? I mean, if zombies are already dead, do they still need air, water and food? If they don't need these, then zombies could exist on Mars. I think we need answers to this question before we send people to Mars. If mankind eventually builds colonies on Mars, we need to protect them from the possibility of dead colonists rising from their graves and eating peoples' brains. I don't think NASA is doing the kind of research necessary to answer this, and that President Biden and the Democratically-controlled Congress need to fund the crucially-important research that pro-zombie Republicans have been blocking for years. I for one would not want to go to Mars if I had to worry about being eaten by zombies roaming around the Martian desert and attacking people inside the colony!
	__________________ If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set. "...just as a magnet attracts iron filings, ~~Trump~~ shemp attracts, and is attracted to, louts." - George Will "[shemp is] a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality." - Shakespeare Last edited by shemp; 17th January 2021 at 08:15 PM.

17th January 2021, 08:29 PM	#2
Norman Alexander Philosopher Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Gundungurra Posts: 8,743	A1: Yes. A2: No.
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

17th January 2021, 10:19 PM	#4
Trebuchet Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Port Townsend, Washington Posts: 30,987	Originally Posted by Captain_Swoop They would get eaten by the spiders. No, spiders are on the moon. I saw it on DoctorWho.
	__________________ Cum catapultae proscribeantur tum soli proscripti catapultas habeant.

17th January 2021, 10:29 PM	#5
Mojo Mostly harmless Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Nor Flanden Posts: 33,727	Originally Posted by shemp First, a disclaimer: I do not actually think that there are zombies presently on Mars. But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars? I mean, if zombies are already dead, do they still need air, water and food? If they don't need these, then zombies could exist on Mars. I think we need answers to this question before we send people to Mars. If mankind eventually builds colonies on Mars, we need to protect them from the possibility of dead colonists rising from their graves and eating peoples' brains. I don't think NASA is doing the kind of research necessary to answer this, and that President Biden and the Democratically-controlled Congress need to fund the crucially-important research that pro-zombie Republicans have been blocking for years. I for one would not want to go to Mars if I had to worry about being eaten by zombies roaming around the Martian desert and attacking people inside the colony! Would these be slow zombies or fast zombies?
	__________________ "You got to use your brain." - McKinley Morganfield "The poor mystic homeopaths feel like petted house-cats thrown at high flood on the breaking ice." - Leon Trotsky

17th January 2021, 11:16 PM	#7
rockinkt Master Poster Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,092	The Zombies have been on Mars since 1964. Rod Argent was looking for a girl but she's not there.
rockinkt Master Poster Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,092	__________________ "Townes Van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I'll stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that." *Steve Earle* "I've met Bob Dylan's bodyguards and if Steve Earle thinks he can stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table, he's sadly mistaken." *Townes Van Zandt* Last edited by rockinkt; 17th January 2021 at 11:28 PM.

17th January 2021, 09:36 PM	#3
Captain_Swoop Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 31,835	They would get eaten by the spiders.

17th January 2021, 11:12 PM	#6
Lukraak_Sisser Illuminator Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 3,961	We all know that Martian disintegrator rays are far more efficient than earth made ones, so they'd clean up their zombies in short order.

18th January 2021, 12:01 AM	#8
Dave Rogers Bandaged ice that stampedes inexpensively through a scribbled morning waving necessary ankles Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cair Paravel, according to XKCD Posts: 32,362	Originally Posted by Captain_Swoop They would get eaten by the spiders. They're the spiders from Mars. That means they're not there any more, they're somewhere else. Duh. Dave
	__________________ There is truth and there are lies. - President Joseph R. Biden, January 20th, 2021

18th January 2021, 12:50 AM	#9
RolandRat Muse Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 918	Originally Posted by shemp I don't think NASA is doing the kind of research necessary to answer this, You're wrong! https://climate.nasa.gov/blog/1059/t...lypse-is-nigh/ Just do what a lot of people do and stop at the headline. You don't need to actually read the articles to be informed /nods
RolandRat Muse Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 918

18th January 2021, 02:22 AM	#10
Roboramma Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Shanghai Posts: 14,243	Zombies can't exist anywhere. Mars is a place included in "anywhere". No, zombies can't exist on Mars.
	__________________ "... when people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together." Isaac Asimov

18th January 2021, 03:52 AM	#11
Captain_Swoop Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 31,835	Maybe they live in the Pyramids

18th January 2021, 04:11 AM	#13
Sideroxylon Featherless biped Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Aporia Posts: 24,274	Yes, but their eyes would pop out like in Total Recall.

18th January 2021, 04:18 AM	#14
DevilsAdvocate Philosopher Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 6,444	Originally Posted by Captain_Swoop Maybe they live in the Pyramids Pyramids are full of grain storage like the Bible says. They wouldn't have room for zombies. You have to think logical. Don't just believe all this nonsense about spiders on Mars when we know it is lizard vampires from underground interruption momentum formulas generating holistic quantum perceptions of communist copper wristbands bearing secret symbols of the coming of a legislative bill directing a minor change in funding on a program that nobody has heard of that only has a small affect on the amount paid on a federal contract to a single company for a limited period of a few months.
	__________________ I don't need to fight to prove I'm right. - Baba O'Riley

18th January 2021, 07:15 AM	#16
Steve001 Graduate Poster Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,722	Only in the movies. https://m.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1046...ef_=m_tt_ov_vi

18th January 2021, 11:19 AM	#17
Bob001 Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: US of A Posts: 12,612	Originally Posted by shemp First, a disclaimer: I do not actually think that there are zombies presently on Mars. But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars? I mean, if zombies are already dead, do they still need air, water and food? If they don't need these, then zombies could exist on Mars. .... Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community?

18th January 2021, 11:34 AM	#18
Bob001 Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: US of A Posts: 12,612	Originally Posted by RolandRat You're wrong! https://climate.nasa.gov/blog/1059/t...lypse-is-nigh/ .... A couple years ago both the CDC and FEMA were urging people to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Their point was that preparing for an attack by the "living impaired" -- stockpiling supplies, making family plans, etc. -- is also good prep for hurricanes, tornadoes, etc. https://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthma...ie-apocalypse/ https://www.ready.gov/community-prep...mbie-awareness

18th January 2021, 11:46 AM	#19
Apathia Philosopher Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Mesa, AZ Posts: 5,833	Zombie Tardigrades, of course!
	__________________ "At the Supreme Court level where we work, 90 percent of any decision is emotional. The rational part of us supplies the reasons for supporting our predilections." Justice William O. Douglas "Humans aren't rational creatures but rationalizing creatures." Author Unknown

18th January 2021, 04:10 PM	#20
RolandRat Muse Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 918	Originally Posted by Bob001 A couple years ago both the CDC and FEMA were urging people to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. Their point was that preparing for an attack by the "living impaired" -- stockpiling supplies, making family plans, etc. -- is also good prep for hurricanes, tornadoes, etc. https://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthma...ie-apocalypse/ https://www.ready.gov/community-prep...mbie-awareness That's actually kinda cool. Although I do think that the people who would actually prepare for a zombie apocalypse may not be the kind of people to act rationally in any other sort of disaster.
RolandRat Muse Join Date: Feb 2018 Posts: 918

18th January 2021, 09:04 PM	#21
shemp a flimsy character...perfidious and despised Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: People's Democratic Republic of Planet X Posts: 40,190	Originally Posted by Bob001 Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community? Maybe they just like the taste?
	__________________ If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set. "...just as a magnet attracts iron filings, ~~Trump~~ shemp attracts, and is attracted to, louts." - George Will "[shemp is] a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality." - Shakespeare

18th January 2021, 09:50 PM	#22
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 70,248	Originally Posted by Bob001 Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community? Zombies do require a steady supply of braaaaaiiiiins.
	__________________ Please scream inside your heart.

22nd January 2021, 04:33 PM	#23
Oystein Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 16,994	My hunch is that even while zombies are dead, their bodies still consist of bones, cartilage, muscles even, etc, and that they need and employ these for their motion (and commotion). Now I am not an expert on Mars, but doesn't it get awfully cold on Mars' surface, at night at least, on account of larger distance to sun, less of an atmosphere to trap sunlight, and lack of oceans to moderate temperatures? So that would mean the Zombies would have to expend an awful lot of energy to keep from freezing - difficult to do when you are dead. I don't think frozen Zombies are much of a threat.
	__________________ Thermodynamics hates conspiracy theorists. (Foster Zygote)

22nd January 2021, 04:39 PM	#24
Cavemonster Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 6,447	Originally Posted by Bob001 Wait. Don't zombies need food? Isn't that why they're always chasing and eating members of non-zombie community? This is why zombies eat brains: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPc7c4W6btY
Cavemonster Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 6,447	__________________ The weakness of all Utopias is this, ... They first assume that no man will want more than his share, and then are very ingenious in explaining whether his share will be delivered by motorcar or balloon. -G.K. CHESTERTON

22nd January 2021, 04:47 PM	#25
Ziggurat Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 48,274	Originally Posted by shemp But, if there were zombies, could they exist on Mars? Depends. There are multiple kinds of zombies. Zombies which are truly dead, but reanimated by dark magic, do not need any of the normal life sustaining things humans need. They could exist on mars, BUT, they would have to be freeze dried first, or the cold temperatures would immobilize them as water in their flesh freezes. Other zombies, such as those caused by viral infection and other nonmagical means, are not truly dead. They still require biological processes, and they would not survive on Mars. The biggest thing that zombie stories get wrong, though, is that zombie hordes on earth cannot last. They will always and inevitably be destroyed, in a matter of weeks if not days. What from, you might ask? Insects. Insects will devour zombie hordes, and pretty quickly.
	__________________ "As long as it is admitted that the law may be diverted from its true purpose -- that it may violate property instead of protecting it -- then everyone will want to participate in making the law, either to protect himself against plunder or to use it for plunder. Political questions will always be prejudicial, dominant, and all-absorbing. There will be fighting at the door of the Legislative Palace, and the struggle within will be no less furious." - Bastiat, The Law

23rd January 2021, 12:58 AM	#26
Lupus Scholar Join Date: Jul 2020 Posts: 85	It's not zombies you should be worrying about on mars but razor killer robots. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCH8...MxaRthD39K_51p
Lupus Scholar Join Date: Jul 2020 Posts: 85