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#1 |
Master Poster
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,583
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Because You Know Its Coming: The Kim Jung Il Conspiracies
You just know the tinfoil hat brigade is going to have a field day with the news about the death of Kim Jung Il. Over on GLP and ATS the kooks are ready dreaming up grand conspiracies, but nothing beyond their normal stupidity so far. If anyone happens to find any of them particularly hilarious and over the top, let us know.
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#2 |
Muse
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 652
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I got shut down at BAUT for suggesting one:
http://www.bautforum.com/showthread....led-by-his-son My theory isn't even that far-fetched, just baseless. They're no fun anymore at BAUT. |
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Any time it can be proved that one of my studies is wrong, I am more eager than anyone to acknowledge AND CORRECT IT. Jack White Little White Lies....... |
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#3 |
Master Poster
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,152
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He was killed because he demanded too much to be in Team America II.
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I said lots of things in NPH that I would not say today and that I did not repeat in NPHR, where I specifically corrected at least some of the errors I had made in that earlier book, written 5 years ago. -David Ray Griffin- |
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#4 |
Muse
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 652
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__________________
Any time it can be proved that one of my studies is wrong, I am more eager than anyone to acknowledge AND CORRECT IT. Jack White Little White Lies....... |
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#5 |
Cythraul Enfys
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 57,992
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No conspiracies so far - well, except for the killed by Team America over the re:boot of their franchise.
But, hey, ding, dong the bitch is dead!!! Good riddance/bad rubbish and may his son and guards go with him soonest!! |
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There is no problem so great that it cannot be fixed by small explosives carefully placed. Wash this space! We fight for the Lady Babylon!!! |
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#6 |
Philosopher
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 5,497
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Eventually it will be America's fault.
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#7 |
Graduate Poster
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,236
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"This statement cannot be proved" Kurt Gödel (paraphrased) |
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#8 |
Illuminator
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA
Posts: 4,515
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Handy responses to conspiracy theorists' claims: 1) "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." --Charles Babbage 2) "This isn't right. This isn't even wrong." --Wolfgang Pauli 3) "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." --Inigo Montoya |
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#9 |
Thinker
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 136
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#10 |
Illuminator
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA
Posts: 4,515
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__________________
Handy responses to conspiracy theorists' claims: 1) "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." --Charles Babbage 2) "This isn't right. This isn't even wrong." --Wolfgang Pauli 3) "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." --Inigo Montoya |
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#11 |
NWO Kitty Wrangler
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 26,835
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Obviously, that means cats are indeed evil and that ownership or display of a feline is an overt declaration of one's affiliation with dark forces. - Cl1mh4224rd |
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#12 |
Illuminator
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA
Posts: 4,515
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__________________
Handy responses to conspiracy theorists' claims: 1) "I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question." --Charles Babbage 2) "This isn't right. This isn't even wrong." --Wolfgang Pauli 3) "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." --Inigo Montoya |
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#13 |
Illuminator
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,662
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It's all Hans Brix's fault, anyway.
Michael |
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"I want the kids in bed by nine, the dog fed, the yard watered and the gate locked. And get a note to the milkman NO MORE CHEESE!" Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been. |
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#14 |
A baby. Goo goo ga ga
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,987
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Since Kim Jong Il was the largest single purchaser of Hennessy, it was a faked death so that he could hang out and drink with Tupac (who also faked his death for Hennessy drinking purposes).
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Plorate, omnes virgines!! |
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#15 |
Banned
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,164
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While I don't believe there is a conspiracy about Kim Jung Il's death - speculation on his health have been circulating for several years now.
However, if I were to make a conspiracy theory, I think James has hit the nail on the head News reports indicate that he was on the verge of signing an agreement resolving tensions and accessing increased deliveries of food aid. As North Korea serves a very important functional role in the international system - that of the dangerous unpredictable nuclear power, capable of delivering nuclear missiles to half the world - any signs of a rapprochement to the rest of the world has to be fought. Even in Australia we use the "threat" of nuclear attack from North Korea to integrate ourselves into America's satellite defence system. The military-industrial complex can not survive without exciting wicked villains and their viability and villain-ness has to be protected at all costs. And any North Korea that shows even the slightest signs of abandoning role assigned to that country must be ruthlessly eliminated - if nothing more than to encourage the others. |
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#16 |
Muse
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 652
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__________________
Any time it can be proved that one of my studies is wrong, I am more eager than anyone to acknowledge AND CORRECT IT. Jack White Little White Lies....... |
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#17 | |||
Philosopher
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 7,682
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He's filming in an undisclosed location:
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#18 |
Illuminator
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 4,627
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Uhhh. No. Just no. Best Korea hasn't demonstrated that they have missiles with enough range to even come close to that, much less that they have developed a warhead capable of being mounted on a ballistic missile.
Australia's biggest worry on that front would probably be China (and maybe India although that's not very likely at all), not North Korea. Australia's sphere of influence over the South Pacific and the Indian Ocean are the only reason why they would even be a target in the first place. During the Cold War they were a target of the Soviets only because of their ability to support their allies naval warships not unlike what happened in WWII. Best Korea has no blue water navy to speak of and other than some oil tankers that skirt through northern Indonesia there's nothing of vital importance to them even close to Australia. |
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"Swift, silent and deadly" was a part of my job description Upon hearing me say that my friend asked me "So you're a fart?"... About my avatar. |
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#19 |
Philosopher
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 5,497
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#20 |
Illuminator
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,859
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I have proof that it was inside job. From the NY Times,
Quote:
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I've seen it here and in several other places that there is no Illuminati. That doesn't even make sense. There's a Wikipedia entry that talks about it. I'm not saying that everything on Wikipedia is true, but if you read it, it's just really clear how the Illuminati controls the world. |
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#21 |
Banned
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,164
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Well it goes without saying that the threat from North Korea is utterly bogus but the threat that North Korea could launch a nuclear attack on Australia, no matter how ludicrous, has been used to garner popular support for increasing our military alliance with the US. Crazy I know, but a good deal less crazy than flying two drones into your own skyscrapers.
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/new...-1226147302540 http://www.theaustralian.com.au/nati...-1226140385838
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Hence any signs of a rapprochement would have to be snuffed out. Economically we just can't afford to do without the North Korean threat, unless (hypothetically) we were to invent an invasion fleet of aliens lurking just around the corner. |
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#22 |
Muse
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 652
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The DPRK's Taepo Dong 2 missile probably has the range to hit the northern part of Australia. Depending on the configuration and payload, it would have a probable range up to 10,000 km.
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__________________
Any time it can be proved that one of my studies is wrong, I am more eager than anyone to acknowledge AND CORRECT IT. Jack White Little White Lies....... |
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#23 |
Muse
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 652
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__________________
Any time it can be proved that one of my studies is wrong, I am more eager than anyone to acknowledge AND CORRECT IT. Jack White Little White Lies....... |
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#24 |
Banned
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,164
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You mean our defence doctrine ALREADY revolves around an alien invasion fleet lurking just around the corner!!!!!??
Of course it wouldn't surprise me, but I haven't seen any positive evidence of it in the public sphere. Although I should point out the economics of the necessity of retaining the North Korean threat really applies to the USA, the Australian economy is differently constructed. |
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#25 |
Critical Thinker
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 285
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All I would say is Birthers, truthers, "insertwordhere'ers, watch out, In one Year Obama has bumbed off Osama, Gadaffi, and now little Kim*. thats a trifecta of Awesome.
* yes, he was only responsible for one of the three, but thats what "they" want you to think ![]() |
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#26 |
Semi-literate hench-person
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,457
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__________________
"Damn, i think you are illeterate" |
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#27 |
Philosophile
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Osaka, Japan
Posts: 24,424
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In fact, you can probably count on it. There was a conspiracy theory that Kim Il-Sung had been knocked off by his son because Kim Sr had decided to reform North Korea and open up to the West after the Soviet Union collapsed.
Anyway, he had a heart attack or a stroke, IIRC while he was in some remote location and the helicopter (s?) sent to rescue him crashed. And then apparently the rescue operations were hugely delayed or something like that and Kim Jong-il benefitted so he must have done it. The counter-argument is that he was an 80-something year old ailing man who smoke and drank and he lived in a country where almost nothing works properly thanks to his misrule. |
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"The thief and the murderer follow nature just as much as the philanthropist. Cosmic evolution may teach us how the good and the evil tendencies of man may have come about; but, in itself, it is incompetent to furnish any better reason why what we call good is preferable to what we call evil than we had before." "Evolution and Ethics" T.H. Huxley (1893) |
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#28 |
Penultimate Amazing
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 31,722
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#29 |
Critical Thinker
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 367
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What do you consider a conspiracy theory? We literally have no idea if Kim Jong-Il died the way they said he did. For all we know, this is a coup on the part of Chang Sung-taek or the North Korean military. Surely the skeptic community isn't taking a KCNA report at face value, are they?
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#30 |
Illuminator
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,859
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Quote:
But the real point of this is to say...courtesy of our Canadian Truther hero Joshua Blakeney, Benjamin Fulford: Kim Jong-il Murdered as Part of Major Asian Power Battle |
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I've seen it here and in several other places that there is no Illuminati. That doesn't even make sense. There's a Wikipedia entry that talks about it. I'm not saying that everything on Wikipedia is true, but if you read it, it's just really clear how the Illuminati controls the world. |
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#31 |
NWO Litter Technician
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Looks like Finland. Smells like Finland. Quacks like Finland. Where the hell am I?
Posts: 13,018
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me. - Emo Philips
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#32 |
NWO Litter Technician
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Looks like Finland. Smells like Finland. Quacks like Finland. Where the hell am I?
Posts: 13,018
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No, we don't. However, in this particular case, we also don't have anything that tells us he didn't die of natural causes.
As long as a) what they report is possible (and not even very surprising, considering that we know Kim Jong has not been Wel lately) and b) there is no credible conflicting information, then yes, we can take their report as a reasonable starting point -- for now. We'll certainly reassess probabilities if the military top brass disposes of Kim 3.0 and declares rule by a junta, if Kim Jong Il walks to his own funeral on the 28th and KCNA claims he was resurrected, or if he's found on a remote Caribbean island playing poker with Elvis. Being a skeptic doesn't mean you think everyone's trying to BS you all the time. |
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me. - Emo Philips
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#33 |
Master Poster
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,583
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To add to this (not that we need to), many news agencies have been in the country as late as 2010 (I can think of CNN off the top of my head, and there were a few others) and reported at that time that all things considered the country seemed to be remarkably stable. There just isn't any evidence - from anyone - that anyone in the regime with he capacity to carry a conspiracy type coup out would do so. Most of the people with any amount of power are all in the family and a handful of 80 year old generals - which one of the is going to make a move that could involve giving up the highly luxurious lifestyle they currently live in.
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#34 |
Semi-literate hench-person
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,457
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__________________
"Damn, i think you are illeterate" |
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#35 |
Illuminator
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,859
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__________________
I've seen it here and in several other places that there is no Illuminati. That doesn't even make sense. There's a Wikipedia entry that talks about it. I'm not saying that everything on Wikipedia is true, but if you read it, it's just really clear how the Illuminati controls the world. |
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#36 |
Devilish Dictionarian
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: An elusive house at Bachelors Grove Cemetery
Posts: 19,950
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__________________
"You must not let your need to be right be more important than your need to find out what's true." - Ray Dalio, Principles |
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#37 |
Devilish Dictionarian
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: An elusive house at Bachelors Grove Cemetery
Posts: 19,950
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__________________
"You must not let your need to be right be more important than your need to find out what's true." - Ray Dalio, Principles |
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#38 |
Master Poster
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,583
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Isn't Benjamin Fulford the same conspiracy kook that says the Illuminati uses genetically engineered ninja's to carry out their plans...yes, I'm serious.
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#39 |
Illuminator
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,859
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It's a really weird cite. The 'staff' page look really strange.
http://the2012scenario.com/about/ but the owner, Steve Beckow, has a Facebook account with over 500 notes on it. There are zillions of interviews with him on other whack job websites, as well. Even keeping this running as a joke would be a full-time job. His bio states,
Quote:
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__________________
I've seen it here and in several other places that there is no Illuminati. That doesn't even make sense. There's a Wikipedia entry that talks about it. I'm not saying that everything on Wikipedia is true, but if you read it, it's just really clear how the Illuminati controls the world. |
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#40 |
Semi-literate hench-person
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,457
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__________________
"Damn, i think you are illeterate" |
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