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Old 4th January 2019, 02:49 AM   #41
3point14
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Originally Posted by rjh01 View Post
For starters, the trauma can take years to surface. Then you may not relate the trauma to the abuse. An adult starts behaving strangely? Must be mentally ill. Had fantasies of having sex while a child. How silly. Yet they were reality.

Can you evidence this?
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Old 4th January 2019, 03:55 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by 3point14 View Post
Can you evidence this?
Took me ages to find a reference

https://www.sane.org/mental-health-a...tress-disorder

Quote:
myth: time heals all wounds
reality: PTSD can take years to develop. Childhood trauma may still affect adults, many years after the traumatic event happened. People with PTSD need professional support and care.
Do countries such as Thailand have professional people able to give support and care to people with PTSD? If not then correct diagnosis would be hard.
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Old 4th January 2019, 02:07 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Checkmite View Post
Or it could be because of denial, instilled shame, or a combination of these - just like in America. Despite the "free and easy attitude toward sexuality" you assert, violence and discrimination, and attitudes supportive of these, against LGBT individuals is widespread in Thailand. In the US, where anti-gay attitudes are likewise prolific and often vicious, children who are victims of same-sex abusers often keep silent due to feeling intense shame and fear of being judged as "gay" because of what happened to them; and this is very much despite the consistent and persistent messaging against sexual abuse that emphasizes children that are victims aren't responsible for what has been done to them by abusers. I see no reason why this same effect could not exist in Thailand when it comes to victims of abuse.

Just because a problem isn't talked about, doesn't mean it doesn't exist or isn't as bad. Particularly among much older people in the US who disclosed childhood sexual abuse only later in life, a common theme is lamentation that "nobody talked about it back then", although the survivors themselves will tell you they were suffering just as much despite this silence.

This opinion article by Paisarn Likhitpreechakul and your endorsement, is in stark contrast to my first hand knowledge after living in Thailand for 6 to 7 years. Most of the last 3 years in a small village where I was the only Westerner.

Gay, lesbian, and transgender are out in the open everywhere and just accepted by all. I could give you many examples and show you if we were there, although that wouldn't be necessary if you had any perception of your own. I will give you one example.

My stepdaughter had a relationship with lesbian a few years older than her when she was 16 to 17 years. She, and her lover, shared a room under our roof and were welcome. Her mother, grandmother, and grandfather showed no disapproval. She moved on from this to have two heterosexual relationships and became pregnant. Everybody was overjoyed about the baby on its way.
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Old 4th January 2019, 02:19 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by rjh01 View Post
For starters, the trauma can take years to surface. Then you may not relate the trauma to the abuse. An adult starts behaving strangely? Must be mentally ill. Had fantasies of having sex while a child. How silly. Yet they were reality.

What I am suggesting may be the case, is the trauma may not be that severe in the child but mature and fester in the adult. The knowledge of what was done to them as a child, is deliberated on in the light of learned community attitudes.
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Old 4th January 2019, 05:59 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
This opinion article by Paisarn Likhitpreechakul and your endorsement, is in stark contrast to my first hand knowledge after living in Thailand for 6 to 7 years. Most of the last 3 years in a small village where I was the only Westerner.
It would stand in such contrast; I can't speak to your experience, but the opinion article is by someone who was born, raised, and spent his entire life so far in Thailand. Your respective experiences of and depth of immersion in Thai culture would logically be different and lead you to different perspectives.

It's worth noting that Paisarn Likhitpreechakul is an officer of an LGBT-rights advocacy group in Thailand; a position and organization that it doesn't seem ought to be necessary in a culture that was so universally accepting of gays and transgenderism as you perceive. Likewise, it's worth noting that same-sex marriage (including equivalent secular status) is currently illegal in Thailand, as is adoption by same-sex couples, and that legislation is only presently under consideration when it comes to changing that.

Likhitpreechakul's article also references several specific and recent incidents of anti-gay crimes, incidents whose factual historicity can be corroborated via internet searches using the details he provides. These things happened, which means by definition there is some cultural element within Thailand that is not open, accepting, and welcoming of same-sex relationships. It doesn't have to represent a majority of the population in order to have negative effects; it just has to be there.
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Old 5th January 2019, 04:39 PM   #46
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Well I am talking about the attitude of mainstream Thais I interacted with. There is a large group of Muslims in Southern Thailand, and pockets of them in other parts. Chiang Rai had a Muslim sector when I lived there as well as a Christian one. Christian missionaries targeted the Hill Tribe communities near Chiang Rai also and I suppose managed to inject some Bible inspired homophobia.
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Old 5th January 2019, 05:13 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
I ponder about this issue. Why is it that children who have been abused apparently suffer so much trauma? Trauma and mental health issues that extend into their adult life? Never having experienced sexual abuse myself, although I had a couple of near misses, I wonder why the effect is so severe.
Let me walk you through it.

Sexual Abuse covers a broad range of actions, but it comes down to the age of the child at the time of abuse, and the frequency, if any, of the abuse, and the nature of the abuse. In my case I was molested off and on between the age of 1 through the age of eight. I didn't know what was going on, it was something that just happened when this family member was around.

The impact is a time-release trauma. As I grew older and learned the ways of the world the memories of what happened hit me like a freight train. Just when I would come to grips with what had happen something would trigger a memory of something new, and erase the emotional gains I had made.

There is guilt.
There is anger.
There is the feeling that I was some kind of freak.

And there is fear. Fear of having your secret revealed to the world. Fear of turning into the same kind of child-molesting monster.

I lived with that fear for 26 years. I wondered what made the man who molested me do the things he did, how did he come by this mind-set? Was it something that happened over time, or did he wake up one day and decide little kids got him off? (in his case it turned out that he had traumatic brain injury from a childhood car crash, and coupled with a sexual assault on him when he was 12, at a Bible Camp no less, launched him in the direction he went). After I learned that, at least in my case, the man who molested me was brain damaged and had no control, I felt a great weight lifted off my back.

I had therapy at the right age, and 45 years later I live a normal life. On the other hand, I have remained single because I don't trust people enough to allow them to get close.
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Old 5th January 2019, 08:17 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by Pixel42 View Post
... I was sexually abused by my father when I was a child. ...
Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
... I was molested off and on between the age of 1 through the age of eight. I didn't know what was going on, it was something that just happened when this family member was around ...
Thanks for sharing such an intimate and traumatic part of your life.

Question (with apologies if this sounds simplistic): Did you guys confront the creep who did this, and who caused such suffering?

[ETA: Afterwards, I mean?]

'Punishing' them, if only by beating the **** out of them and exposing them to all family and friends, if not actually putting them in prison (this latter can be difficult, I realize, after so many years), is surely what they deserve.

And having these creeps pay would probably provide some closure as well? Surely these ******** aren't walking around with their past misdeeds hidden from the world?

(Again, apologies if this sounds like insensitive questioning/advice from someone who cannot and does not fully grasp the horror you've been through.)

Last edited by Chanakya; 5th January 2019 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 5th January 2019, 09:52 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
Let me walk you through it.

Sexual Abuse covers a broad range of actions, but it comes down to the age of the child at the time of abuse, and the frequency, if any, of the abuse, and the nature of the abuse. In my case I was molested off and on between the age of 1 through the age of eight. I didn't know what was going on, it was something that just happened when this family member was around.

The impact is a time-release trauma. As I grew older and learned the ways of the world the memories of what happened hit me like a freight train. Just when I would come to grips with what had happen something would trigger a memory of something new, and erase the emotional gains I had made.

There is guilt.
There is anger.
There is the feeling that I was some kind of freak.

And there is fear. Fear of having your secret revealed to the world. Fear of turning into the same kind of child-molesting monster.

I lived with that fear for 26 years. I wondered what made the man who molested me do the things he did, how did he come by this mind-set? Was it something that happened over time, or did he wake up one day and decide little kids got him off? (in his case it turned out that he had traumatic brain injury from a childhood car crash, and coupled with a sexual assault on him when he was 12, at a Bible Camp no less, launched him in the direction he went). After I learned that, at least in my case, the man who molested me was brain damaged and had no control, I felt a great weight lifted off my back.

I had therapy at the right age, and 45 years later I live a normal life. On the other hand, I have remained single because I don't trust people enough to allow them to get close.

Thanks for sharing your story Axxman - most disturbing but educational.

Glad to hear you managed to climb out of most of it although the lasting effect of not being able to get into a relationship is sad. Interesting that you experienced relief when you found your molester had a reason for his behaviour.

You're account that you didn't experience trauma, until you were old enough to understand the magnitude of what had been done to you, sort of illustrates what I am suggesting may be the case. One has to wonder if the trauma would have been of less magnitude had your understanding of the "ways of the world" had been different.
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