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Old 17th September 2020, 08:13 AM   #1
rockysmith76
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Using your "Pronouns"

As with to do with trans people, what are the thoughts about this subject here?
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:15 AM   #2
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There are threads on this topic already. If you're interested in the thoughts about this subject here, start by reading those threads and posting your follow-up questions there.
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:18 AM   #3
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If a person says, “Hi, I’m Elizabeth, but please call me Beth,” I will call that person “Beth.”

Because I’m not an *******.

Pronouns are just like that.

Don’t be an ******* unless you want people to think you’re an *******.
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:27 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by autumn1971 View Post
If a person says, “Hi, I’m Elizabeth, but please call me Beth,” I will call that person “Beth.”

Because I’m not an *******.

Pronouns are just like that.

Don’t be an ******* unless you want people to think you’re an *******.
I never refer directly to someone as "he, her, she or him", only their name- and "you".

It is one thing to request that one be addressed in the manner in which one prefers- I agree calling someone something other than what they wish to be called is jerky- i find it to be a request of a different nature, however, to presume to dictate how I refer to one in the third person.

If I regard someone as a "he", i am likely to refer to them as "he/him" when speaking about them.
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:31 AM   #5
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This **** again?

How about we make misgendering socially unacceptable through action rather than having yet another debate started simply to troll us?
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:37 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by uke2se View Post
This **** again?

How about we make misgendering socially unacceptable through action rather than having yet another debate started simply to troll us?
I wasn't aware there were other threads on the subject, why not give a link to one, rather than whine about this one?
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:37 AM   #7
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How about we quit with the demands for forced speech.
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:43 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Rolfe View Post
How about we quit with the demands for forced speech.
How about a link to one of these other threads?
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:45 AM   #9
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Prob covered a thousand times on the terrifyingly large discussion, but if you refer to a guy as a 'she', it's usually meant as an insult. So transpeople likely take the pronoun they don't identify with as a slam too. So why be pricks to them? Walk a mile in their shoes and tell me how you like being referred to by the 'wrong' pronoun. And being told you should get over it, for extra fun.
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:50 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Thermal View Post
Prob covered a thousand times on the terrifyingly large discussion, but if you refer to a guy as a 'she', it's usually meant as an insult. So transpeople likely take the pronoun they don't identify with as a slam too. So why be pricks to them? Walk a mile in their shoes and tell me how you like being referred to by the 'wrong' pronoun. And being told you should get over it, for extra fun.
I was specifically referring to the curious practice of people listing them on social media, and business cards and the like, and I've asked for a link to these other threads twice now.
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Old 17th September 2020, 08:54 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by rockysmith76 View Post
I was specifically referring to the curious practice of people listing them on social media, and business cards and the like, and I've asked for a link to these other threads twice now.
Oh, didn't catch the listing thing.

It's weird, but less weird than having to correct people I guess. I'm a dude, and if I had to correct people from calling me 'she' every time I met them, I guess a list is a more practical approach.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:03 AM   #12
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I identify is Michael Jackson. My pronouns are he/hee .
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:07 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Distracted1 View Post
I never refer directly to someone as "he, her, she or him", only their name- and "you".

It is one thing to request that one be addressed in the manner in which one prefers- I agree calling someone something other than what they wish to be called is jerky- i find it to be a request of a different nature, however, to presume to dictate how I refer to one in the third person.

If I regard someone as a "he", i am likely to refer to them as "he/him" when speaking about them.
Email threads.

Alice, Bobette, and Casey are discussing something via email. Alice suggests Plan A, and asks Casey for his opinion. Casey says, "I like it, but Bobette is most affected, so I'll defer to him on this."

Then Bobette reports Casey to HR for misgendering her.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:16 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by Joe Random View Post
I identify is Michael Jackson. My pronouns are he/hee .
Do you really? Because most people don't identify as specific other people, but rather as a person with a specific trait. Generally, they put some thought into it, as it is a defining part of their personality and it helps them feel better about themselves.
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Last edited by uke2se; 17th September 2020 at 09:17 AM.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:19 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by uke2se View Post
Do you really? Because most people don't identify as specific other people, but rather as a person with a specific trait. Generally, they put some thought into it, as it is a defining part of their personality and it helps them feel better about themselves.
Yes. Yes I do. I haven't changed my hairstyle, my mode of dress, or my skin tone, but I am Michael Jackson, internally speaking. It's how I feel most comfortable thinking of myself.

Prove me wrong.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:20 AM   #16
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If I go by appearance, and I'm wrong, how is it my deficiency? I think the onus is on the 'other gendered' to make it clear.

Or should we number all 50 shades? Even for bio-males, odd for bio-females. The we all wear a broach or name tag. Then we'll need a chart so we can remember which numbers are "he", which are "she" (over/under 25?) Or simplify it. because it is none of my business which of the 50 you are. So, we all wear T shirts that say "She" or He? Tatts? Which nostril has the diamond stud?

Or maybe we go unisex on pronouns? From hence forth, the only pronoun shall be "Unit". Appropriate, since once the impending singularity happens, we will all be drones to it. Hmm, what happens to 50 shades then?
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:21 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Joe Random View Post
Yes. Yes I do. I haven't changed my hairstyle, my mode of dress, or my skin tone, but I am Michael Jackson, internally speaking. It's how I feel most comfortable thinking of myself.

Prove me wrong.
and it all started when the dryer ate one of your gloves....
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:22 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
Email threads.

Alice, Bobette, and Casey are discussing something via email. Alice suggests Plan A, and asks Casey for his opinion. Casey says, "I like it, but Bobette is most affected, so I'll defer to him on this."

Then Bobette reports Casey to HR for misgendering her.
And then the Earth opens up, spews Hellfire into the blood-red sky, and swallows all of existence into the inky black darkness of eternal nothingness.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:22 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Joe Random View Post
Yes. Yes I do. I haven't changed my hairstyle, my mode of dress, or my skin tone, but I am Michael Jackson, internally speaking. It's how I feel most comfortable thinking of myself.

Prove me wrong.
I can't. I don't think you are serious about it but are using it to attempt to make some sort of point, missing the point of people who care about misgendering, which is a pretty dickish thing to do, thus proving the point of the third post in this thread.

However, if you are serious, I have no trouble referring to you as he/hee.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:24 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
Email threads.

Alice, Bobette, and Casey are discussing something via email. Alice suggests Plan A, and asks Casey for his opinion. Casey says, "I like it, but Bobette is most affected, so I'll defer to him on this."

Then Bobette reports Casey to HR for misgendering her.
I am not corporate. Such nonsense- while clearly real- strikes me as ridiculous.

Bobette is entitled to demand that I do not refer to him as "Fred" when I speak to him, but is not entitled to insist that I refer to him as "her" when addressing someone else.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:29 AM   #21
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Love how the a-hole position isn’t being gaslit to deny reality or being obliged to utter words you don’t want to, but rather is refusing to be gaslit into denying reality and using words you don’t want to. ��

If you think “pronouns’ are about compassion or geniality instead of an exercise in power look at Gina Caranos recent treatment by the pronoun police for simply refusing to state her’s in her bio.

interpersonally I will use them from a place of grace but the moment it becomes demanded of me or becomes an expectation I stop using them.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:30 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Distracted1 View Post
I am not corporate. Such nonsense- while clearly real- strikes me as ridiculous.

Bobette is entitled to demand that I do not refer to him as "Fred" when I speak to him, but is not entitled to insist that I refer to him as "her" when addressing someone else.
I, for one, am very impressed with your bold and courageous stance.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:31 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by MisAndreG View Post
Love how the a-hole position isnít being gaslit to deny reality or being obliged to utter words you donít want to, but rather is refusing to be gaslit into denying reality and using words you donít want to. ��

If you think ďpronounsí are about compassion or geniality instead of an exercise in power look at Gina Caranos recent treatment by the pronoun police for simply refusing to state herís in her bio.

interpersonally I will use them from a place of grace but the moment it becomes demanded of me or becomes an expectation I stop using them.
Future generations will compose ballads in honor of your heroism.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:34 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by johnny karate View Post
I, for one, am very impressed with your bold and courageous stance.
Duly noted.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:34 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by johnny karate View Post
Future generations will compose ballads in honor of your heroism.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:40 AM   #26
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it’s so strange. you would think the sane response to someone refusing to comply with speech demands is to just move on, not passive aggressive bully them.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:42 AM   #27
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I wish all the transphobes and homophobes we have on this forum would just post confessions in this thread so that we can all see who they are.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:42 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by rockysmith76 View Post
I wasn't aware there were other threads on the subject, why not give a link to one, rather than whine about this one?
Fair enough. There are other threads where transgender issues are discussed, and pronouns have come up in those threads. But it's not quite the same thing. Sorry for busting your balls. Carry on.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:42 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by uke2se View Post
I wish all the transphobes and homophobes we have on this forum would just post confessions in this thread so that we can all see who they are.
And there's your problem. Leave Gina Carano alone..
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:43 AM   #30
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I identify as an attack helicopter. My pronouns are it/they/"countermeasures!"
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:45 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by uke2se View Post
I wish all the transphobes and homophobes we have on this forum would just post confessions in this thread so that we can all see who they are.
Indeed.
People with irrational fears should be directed to the help they need.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:46 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
I identify as an attack helicopter. My pronouns are it/they/"countermeasures!"
There it is, the one joke that right wingers have. Took longer than i thought.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:46 AM   #33
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This bait has no flavor. It lacks zazz.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:47 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by SuburbanTurkey View Post
There it is, the one joke that right wingers have. Took longer than i thought.
And as all right wing humor, it punches down, making it unfunny.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:47 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by MisAndreG View Post
itís so strange. you would think the sane response to someone refusing to comply with speech demands is to just move on, not passive aggressive bully them.
Yes, youíre a brave warrior for free speech and Iím a ďpassive aggressive bullyĒ.

If only you could grasp irony, you might be laughing as hard as I am right now.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:48 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by Distracted1 View Post
I am not corporate. Such nonsense- while clearly real- strikes me as ridiculous.

Bobette is entitled to demand that I do not refer to him as "Fred" when I speak to him, but is not entitled to insist that I refer to him as "her" when addressing someone else.
My intent was to give a scenario where you might end up referring to someone in the third person, using pronouns, in a conversation they were a part of.

Of which they were a part.

But talking about people in the third person, when they're part of the conversation, is already considered rude. The correct solution in my scenario is not to use Bobette's preferred pronouns. The correct solution is to engage Bobette directly: "You're the most affected, Bobette; what do you think?"

Also the real problem is I misgendered Casey. I assumed they were male instead of taking the time to find out how they actually identified.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:49 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Butter! View Post
This bait has no flavor. It lacks zazz.
Its a slow day.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:51 AM   #38
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At least it's an attempt at actual discussion, rather than yet another cryptic strike count. And actual discussion is being had.
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:53 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by uke2se View Post
And as all right wing humor, it punches down, making it unfunny.
It may have been funny once, but it loses something on the millionth repitition.

A subreddit dedicated to spotting the one joke in circulation.

https://www.reddit.com/r/onejoke/top/?t=all
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Old 17th September 2020, 09:53 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
My intent was to give a scenario where you might end up referring to someone in the third person, using pronouns, in a conversation they were a part of.

Of which they were a part.

But talking about people in the third person, when they're part of the conversation, is already considered rude. The correct solution in my scenario is not to use Bobette's preferred pronouns. The correct solution is to engage Bobette directly: "You're the most affected, Bobette; what do you think?"

Also the real problem is I misgendered Casey. I assumed they were male instead of taking the time to find out how they actually identified.
I was unaware of this.
I am not sure it is universal.
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