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Old 23rd August 2011, 09:42 PM   #1
Minadin
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What is the FUNNIEST or MOST ENTERTAINING conspiracy theory?

I was thinking about this recently. Flat-earthers, as stupid as they are, make me sad. 9-11 nut-balls make me angry.

But, chem-trails adherents honestly make me laugh out loud. I just don't understand how people could believe that nonsense.

So anyway, what's the most entertaining CT for you? Nibiru? Young Earth Creationists? People who think Lord of the Rings is real?
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Old 23rd August 2011, 10:02 PM   #2
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Well, I have a cter on a football forum who's on a big nibiru kick for now (he should be shifting to 9/11 soon.)

He posted a wall o stupid a while back about how comet Elenin was actually Nibiru & was really a neutron star.

So, yeah that.
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Old 24th August 2011, 01:19 AM   #3
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Any of them that don't lead to physical harm - so I never like the Big Pharma conspiracies, when they have often led to children being denied proper medical treatment.

All others I can laugh at with impunity.
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Old 24th August 2011, 08:19 AM   #4
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It has to be the recent Elenin claims. It really is funny how people claim that:
1. Elenin causes quakes
2. Elenin stands for "extinction level event nine" or "extinction level event Nibiru"
3. Elenin is going to poison the atmosphere with cyanide
4. Elenin will hit the Earth
5. Elenin is a spacecraft
6. Elenin the discoverer does not exist
7. Elenin will damage the Earth when we pass through the tail which is composed of asteroids in tow
8. Elenin is a brown dwarf star
9. Elenin is actually the hypothetical planet Nemesis
10. Elenin has not been photographed
11. ...

The conspiracy is that this is known by "The Powers That Be" and the peons of the Earth are being shielded from knowing the truth about the impending doom.
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Old 24th August 2011, 08:22 AM   #5
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Old 24th August 2011, 08:24 AM   #6
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This one. I don't know why, but it amuses me that the Mattachine Society is above the Trilateral Commission.
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Old 24th August 2011, 08:26 AM   #7
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David Icke's shape-shifting reptiles. That's the most entertaining one for me. I also love how you can see all the proof of the existence of our future scaly overlords you need, if only you'd look on youtube.
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Old 24th August 2011, 08:28 AM   #8
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Yeah, the Illuminati stuff is pretty funny. For just shear point and laugh fun though it's got to be Reptoids.
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Old 24th August 2011, 09:07 AM   #9
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I'll add my vote for Icke's Lizard people aka the Reptoids.

This topic cries out for a Poll.
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Old 24th August 2011, 09:59 AM   #10
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Geologists, botanists, micro-biologists, geneticists, astronomers, cosmologists, physicists, chemists, and archeologists are conspiring on a world-wide basis to hide the fact that the world is 6000 years old.
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Old 24th August 2011, 10:02 AM   #11
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Homosexuals are infiltrating the government and the schools in a conspiracy to DESTROY LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. They even have an agenda!
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Old 24th August 2011, 10:09 AM   #12
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In 1961, a young American woman in a mixed-race marriage decided to leave Hawaii (one of the very, very few places in the United States that accepted mixed race marriages) to travel to a country that was almost the exact antipode of her current location. This trip crossed 12 time zones and would have cost thousands of dollars and taken close to 24 hours. Her goal was to give birth in a country where white people were so unwelcome that a revolution against the white ruling powers had just been completed a year or so ago.

Later on, a Republican governor, a Republican Secretary of State and Republican Records Registrar would all conspire to hide the birth certificate of this baby so that he could be the Democratic nominee for president. Republican secretaries of state in about half the U.S. states didn't ask for any useful documentation of Obama's status and put him on the presidential ballot.

MY favorite part: Hillary Clinton - a woman so ruthless that she, herself, murdered someone in cold blood just to hold power - decided not to expose this conspiracy even though doing so would have allowed her to be president of the United States.
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Old 24th August 2011, 10:18 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Ladewig View Post
Homosexuals are infiltrating the government and the schools in a conspiracy to DESTROY LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. They even have an agenda!
Well it's nice they have an agenda. I hate going to meetings and no one has an agenda.
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Old 24th August 2011, 10:26 AM   #14
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The UFO/ET disclosure thing keeps me chuckling. This is the standard CT that the world governments know all about ETs visiting earth, but are covering it up for some reason. The Disclosure advocates fill their web sites (and government's mailboxes) with demands that THE TRUTH be released. Recently, several countries (even the US) have released large amounts of records on UFO sitings and investigations, which all show that there is no credible evidence of ETs visiting.

The Disclosure advocates response to this release of "The truth"?

"No, not THAT truth. OUR truth!"
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Old 24th August 2011, 10:50 AM   #15
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There is a new planet orbiting the Sun or a second Sun. It can be seen on cloudy days near the horizon where it looks a lot like a parhelia unless it was shot through a window and it looks like an internal reflection in double paned glass. It is more likely to be detected with a cheapo cellphone camera than the human eye. It is often seen from the South Pole where it is imaged in the optical wavelengths by a radio telescope. The object is seen by STEREO where scientists pretend the object is either Mercury or Venus. It is in a cataclysmic battle with the Sun, which occasionally gets off a bad defensive shot and hits the Earth with a CME.
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Old 24th August 2011, 11:05 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by Minadin
So anyway, what's the most entertaining CT for you?
Tough choice. I can't decide between Zündels Nazi UFOs and Ickes reptilian story. I mean, this idea of "Reichsflugscheiben" is totally hilarious, but so are all these "proofs" of shape shifting lizards at youtube.

Last edited by Kevin.Silbstedt; 24th August 2011 at 11:08 AM.
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Old 24th August 2011, 11:25 AM   #17
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I've studied a lot of nutty JFK scenarios, but the one that made me laugh out loud was the one that suggested that government forces had deliberately placed the Stemmons Freeway sign for the purpose of blocking the view of Zapruder's camera at a critical moment.

Another one, in the same degree of absurdity, holds that a group of conspirators, carrying phony Secret Service credentials, immediately confiscated all the cameras that captured images of the other shooters, while allowing everybody else to keep their cameras. These conspirators somehow knew which cameras had captured incriminating images and which had not.

Still another scenario maintained that images of the assassination were doctored in the 1990s and 2000s, and magazines that published those images in 1963 and 1964--magazines in hundreds of thousands of libraries and homes--were also doctored after the fact.
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Old 24th August 2011, 12:30 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by bob_cadaver View Post
David Icke's shape-shifting reptiles.
Years ago, after seeing the Ron Jonson Conspiracy documentary I emailed David Icke about the reptiles and he replied.

My message was very close to this, (it should be noted, I didn't buy his theory)

"Dear David, if you believe what you claim then surely the human race as a whole needs to take action. Currently those in-the-know are limited to those who bought your book, why don't you publish your evidence for free on the internet, and the world can work towards tackling this threat."

His reply went something like this (seriously wish I still had a full copy),

"I need the money to put my children through school, how will I pay for my next book tour?"

I didn't reply as I thought was suffering genuine mental illness.
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Old 24th August 2011, 01:15 PM   #19
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I rather like the Robert Menzies was kidnapped by divers from a Russian submarine idea.
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Old 24th August 2011, 01:31 PM   #20
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I like the dolts who claim dustification of the Trade Center towers. These folks typically follow that lunacy with the "why'd they ship all the steel to China" questions.

eh?

Anything related to Elenin is funny.

Basically any conspiracy theory.
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Old 24th August 2011, 02:20 PM   #21
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I, for one, welcome our alien shape-shifting reptilian overlords. So stop dissing 'em before they zap you.

Otherwise, chemtrails. So funny.
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Old 24th August 2011, 03:34 PM   #22
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"Paul MacCartney died and was replaced "
http://digilander.libero.it/jamespaul/fc1.html
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Old 24th August 2011, 04:12 PM   #23
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How about HAARP, a government radio antennae that controls the weather and can also cause earthquakes. Also, the claim that the Denver Airport is the headquarters of the NWO is pretty funny too.
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Old 24th August 2011, 04:13 PM   #24
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I think the funniest one is how the ebil US gub'ment and big pharma created AIDs, Ebola, H1N1 and a whole host of other diseases to reduce world population.

Especially when the population of the world is growing exponentially.
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Old 24th August 2011, 04:53 PM   #25
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The only one I can have a good releasing laugh at is the Global Consciousness Project - my, isn't it reassuring to imagine that we can collectively avoid a planetary plane crash? The same goes for the Gaia "hypothesis" and any attempt to prove the existence of a Star Wars-like Force field between all living things, on condition no-one mentions midi-chlorians. If we must have a new religion, we could hit if a lot worse than some form of environmentalism, provided rationality is at least dangling by its feet & not dropped out of the window.

Most others you mentioned are the products of fear and mistrust, and I can't really find them funny. Except for David Icke's reply, of course.
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Old 24th August 2011, 05:09 PM   #26
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I like the omnipotent God(s) CT... these Gods who have severe communication limitations and so have to work thru various people who don't agree on what was said; plus how everything is going to be 'proved' in the future........and the best one is that they usually can't deal with the Devil or Evil directly.
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Old 24th August 2011, 05:44 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Hans View Post
I like the omnipotent God(s) CT...
Yeah, polytheism generally makes you much healthier and more creative.

And that environmental aspect I mentioned...

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Old 24th August 2011, 06:05 PM   #28
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MOST ENTERTAINING
The Bennewitz Affair

Not funny at all. Except the computer program given to him by official sources. It's phrases were giberish but funny. Swedes!!

I wonder who wrote them?
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Old 24th August 2011, 06:40 PM   #29
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Ahem....Christophera.

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Old 24th August 2011, 07:13 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Porkpie Hat View Post
I think the funniest one is how the ebil US gub'ment and big pharma created AIDs, Ebola, H1N1 and a whole host of other diseases to reduce world population.

Especially when the population of the world is growing exponentially.


Along those lines - there was a Toronto fellow, who posted a video about "homoerotic art" in Toronto, and said the NWO was putting this art in public places in order to limit the population - by encouraging heterosexual promiscuity.



As the LoL cats say, "Ur doin it wrong!"
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Old 24th August 2011, 07:32 PM   #31
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I think it's David Icke's shape-shifting reptiles. Bonus points when his cultists insist that it's "not meant to be taken literally".
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Old 24th August 2011, 07:54 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Hans View Post
I like the omnipotent God(s) CT... these Gods who have severe communication limitations and so have to work thru various people who don't agree on what was said; plus how everything is going to be 'proved' in the future........and the best one is that they usually can't deal with the Devil or Evil directly.
And He is also so bad with money. Everyone keeps asking for money on His behalf.



with a tip of the hat to G. Carlin.
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Old 24th August 2011, 10:33 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by Ladewig View Post
And He is also so bad with money. Everyone keeps asking for money on His behalf.



with a tip of the hat to G. Carlin.
They are bad on foresight too, despite knowing the future they do things they know will fail.......yeah let me drown everybody even though I know THAT won't work....
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Old 24th August 2011, 10:54 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by catsmate1 View Post
I rather like the Robert Menzies was kidnapped by divers from a Russian submarine idea.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Holt
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Old 25th August 2011, 04:27 AM   #35
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Birthers or of course David Icke and any of his nuttiness.
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Old 25th August 2011, 05:06 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by Gojira View Post
Birthers or of course ...
Some folks have done "serious" news reports about the claims of the birthers, and the claims (all of them accurate and reported fairly) got so absurd so quickly that the whole thing seemed like a badly written farce. The punch line, of course, is that birtherism allegations are believed to be totally fact-based, and that racism plays absolutely no role, no sirree.
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Old 25th August 2011, 05:56 AM   #37
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I've always found the idea that the FBI and Philadelphia police department teamed up to frame a cab driver for murder to be rather comical.
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Old 25th August 2011, 06:25 AM   #38
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Speaking of Philidelphia, what about the theory that the U.S. Navy tested an "invisibilty cloak" / time travel device on the deck of a destroyer there.
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Old 25th August 2011, 06:58 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by Horatius View Post
Along those lines - there was a Toronto fellow, who posted a video about "homoerotic art" in Toronto, and said the NWO was putting this art in public places in order to limit the population - by encouraging heterosexual promiscuity.



As the LoL cats say, "Ur doin it wrong!"
That it's counterintuitive is what makes it soooo diabolical.

It's akin to playing a game of "no I'm not; yes you are" with a small child then switching it up half way through.
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Old 25th August 2011, 07:09 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by Ladewig View Post
Geologists, botanists, micro-biologists, geneticists, astronomers, cosmologists, physicists, chemists, and archeologists are conspiring on a world-wide basis to hide the fact that the world is 6000 years old.
One word: banana.

It fits in my hand perfectly and tastes delicious.

Explain that!

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