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Old 3rd August 2019, 10:58 PM   #1
Wonder234
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How to Perform Telekinesis

As we have completed our study of vibroturgy, let us now continue by examining another intriguing faculty: telekinesis. You have probably already read some of the works that have been written on this subject. Most of them, however, fail to offer any worthwhile explanation concerning the actual nature of this faculty—their authors confining themselves instead to pointing out its spectacular aspects. Yet the primary value of this practice does not lie in the results we may obtain, however astonishing they may be. From a Rosicrucian point of view, more interest is to be found in an understanding of the laws which make its application possible. Moreover, such understanding is an absolute necessity for successful results in this field, because we cannot master principles of which we are ignorant.
Edited by zooterkin:  <SNIP>
Edited for rule 4.

You will not post "copyrighted" material in its entirety and do not post large amounts of material available from other sites.

Also, it is bad practice to quote other people's work without attribution as if it were your own.

Last edited by zooterkin; 4th August 2019 at 12:20 AM.
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Old 3rd August 2019, 11:02 PM   #2
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Source or original author please?
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Old 3rd August 2019, 11:16 PM   #3
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Old 4th August 2019, 08:21 AM   #4
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First, show that it does work.

Then try to explain how it works.
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Old 4th August 2019, 08:42 AM   #5
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An emotional read. You moved me.
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Old 4th August 2019, 08:42 AM   #6
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Breathing heavily while holding a bowl of water with a ping-pong ball floating in it causes the ping-pong ball to move? Amazing stuff!
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Old 4th August 2019, 08:49 AM   #7
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Instructions not clear, I ended up with my foot stuck in a pickle jar.

Send help, please.
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Old 4th August 2019, 08:55 AM   #8
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I feel humiliated.
Am I the only one doing it wrong?
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Old 4th August 2019, 08:56 AM   #9
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I'm still learning how to fly by throwing myself at the ground and miss.
I feel I'm getting closer.
Or at least light-headed.
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Old 4th August 2019, 08:56 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Breathing heavily while holding a bowl of water with a ping-pong ball floating in it causes the ping-pong ball to move? Amazing stuff!
My telekinesis was insufficient to keep the link above from timing out, so I'm just guessing, but any fool can make ping pong ball move on water. I'll wait until he makes it sink.
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Old 4th August 2019, 12:21 PM   #11
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Can you teach me how to get the beer from the fridge to the couch without having to get up?
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Old 4th August 2019, 01:30 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Nay_Sayer View Post
Instructions not clear, I ended up with my foot stuck in a pickle jar.

Send help, please.
That's better than what happened when I lost the toaster instructions. I'd rather not say any more.
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Old 4th August 2019, 03:19 PM   #13
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I'm trying to click on the link using my mind.............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .It's not working........................................... ............
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Old 6th August 2019, 05:44 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by shemp View Post
Can you teach me how to get the beer from the fridge to the couch without having to get up?
"Hey hun, will you fetch me a beer please ?"

Doesn't work very often but it's more reliable than telekinesis....
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Old 6th August 2019, 08:39 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by shemp View Post
Can you teach me how to get the beer from the fridge to the couch without having to get up?
I just want to know how to keep the dice from coming up seven. I figure if I bet big and move quickly, I can make enough money to retire before I'm banned from every casino in the world.
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Old 6th August 2019, 08:52 AM   #16
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The thread title is missing the colon between the third and fourth words.

Dave
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Old 6th August 2019, 11:19 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Dave Rogers View Post
The thread title is missing the colon between the third and fourth words.



Dave
What was that Chevy Chase movie?
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Old 6th August 2019, 03:53 PM   #18
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Modern Problems.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz7z_Ga2e5Y
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Old 6th August 2019, 04:01 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Wonder234 View Post
we cannot master principles of which we are ignorant.

The key is to master the principles, not the ignorance.
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Old 6th August 2019, 04:07 PM   #20
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If one actually has the power of telekinesis, then one should be able to make vast amounts of money in Las Vegas.
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Old 6th August 2019, 05:24 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Crossbow View Post
If one actually has the power of telekinesis, then one should be able to make vast amounts of money in Las Vegas.
But...but they can't abuse the gift and screw giving it to those dirty poor people.
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Old 6th August 2019, 08:54 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by gerdbonk View Post
The key is to master the principles, not the ignorance.
Yet so many manage to master the ignorance.
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Old 6th August 2019, 08:55 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Crossbow View Post
If one actually has the power of telekinesis, then one should be able to make vast amounts of money in Las Vegas.
There was a Twilight Zone episode about that. Buddy Ebsen played a guy with telekinesis and he and his friend went to LV to do just that. Season 2 episode 21 Prime Mover (don't be impressed I looked it up).
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Old 6th August 2019, 10:07 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Crossbow View Post
If one actually has the power of telekinesis, then one should be able to make vast amounts of money in Las Vegas.
If telekinesis really worked bikini tops would have to be fastened with combination locks, not tied with little strings.
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Old 7th August 2019, 05:27 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by MEequalsIxR View Post
There was a Twilight Zone episode about that. Buddy Ebsen played a guy with telekinesis and he and his friend went to LV to do just that. Season 2 episode 21 Prime Mover (don't be impressed I looked it up).

Or Nathan's final appearance on Misfits. He had traded his previous power for a vaguely defined "magic trick" power that let him create/transform/manipulate/teleport small objects. He was doing well at the craps table until he made the dice roll 14 because nobody told him that they each only go up to 6. Nathan was a bit of an idiot.
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Old 7th August 2019, 10:47 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by The Don View Post
"Hey hun, will you fetch me a beer please ?"

Doesn't work very often but it's more reliable than telekinesis....

"sudo Hey hun, fetch me a beer please"

Job done.
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Old 7th August 2019, 11:06 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Armitage72 View Post
Or Nathan's final appearance on Misfits. He had traded his previous power for a vaguely defined "magic trick" power that let him create/transform/manipulate/teleport small objects. He was doing well at the craps table until he made the dice roll 14 because nobody told him that they each only go up to 6. Nathan was a bit of an idiot.
Just had a small seizure picturing a seven sided die.

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Old 7th August 2019, 11:32 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by Jim_MDP View Post
Just had a small seizure picturing a seven sided die.

https://www.mathartfun.com/d357.html
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Old 7th August 2019, 02:49 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Cheetah View Post
I feel humiliated.
Am I the only one doing it wrong?

What is the modus operandi you are trying? I've heard that nose wriggling works for some.
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Old 7th August 2019, 07:37 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Hellbound View Post
Crikey, I scrolled down to the bottom and now I understand Lovecraft's protagonists who get driven mad by beholding the geometry of Cyclopean ruins.
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Old 8th August 2019, 01:40 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Jim_MDP View Post
Just had a small seizure picturing a seven sided die.

D8, re-roll all 8's. Simples.

Dave
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Old 8th August 2019, 05:37 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Crikey, I scrolled down to the bottom and now I understand Lovecraft's protagonists who get driven mad by beholding the geometry of Cyclopean ruins.

An excellent description I once saw was to imagine that you live in a world made entirely of angles. Everything is points, sharp edges, and corners. You have never seen a a curve, you don't know what a curve is, and nobody in the world has ever conceived of the concept of a curve. Then one day a sphere comes down out of the sky and starts eating people.
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Old 8th August 2019, 07:18 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by Armitage72 View Post
An excellent description I once saw was to imagine that you live in a world made entirely of angles. Everything is points, sharp edges, and corners. You have never seen a a curve, you don't know what a curve is, and nobody in the world has ever conceived of the concept of a curve. Then one day a sphere comes down out of the sky and starts eating people.
Don't worry. You'll be protected by your guardian angle. She may even be acute one.
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Old 8th August 2019, 07:56 AM   #34
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It occurs to me that nobody has yet quoted the Stephen Wright joke:
"Everyone who believes in telekinesis, raise my hand."
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Old 8th August 2019, 08:16 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by Armitage72 View Post
An excellent description I once saw was to imagine that you live in a world made entirely of angles. Everything is points, sharp edges, and corners. You have never seen a a curve, you don't know what a curve is, and nobody in the world has ever conceived of the concept of a curve. Then one day a sphere comes down out of the sky and starts eating people.
I don't think that's funny, my aunt's roommate's cousin's friend got eaten by a sphere in exactly those circumstances.
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Old 8th August 2019, 08:24 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
I don't think that's funny, my aunt's roommate's cousin's friend got eaten by a sphere in exactly those circumstances.
That's a harsh way to describe your aunt's roommate's cousin.

Dave
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Old 8th August 2019, 11:02 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Nay_Sayer View Post
Instructions not clear, I ended up with my foot stuck in a pickle jar.

Send help, please.
Your "foot"?

Yeah, OK, sure.

Just be more honest with the actual professionals when they show up to help.
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Old 8th August 2019, 01:17 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Breathing heavily while holding a bowl of water with a ping-pong ball floating in it causes the ping-pong ball to move? Amazing stuff!
Remember that scene in "The Right Stuff"?
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Old 9th August 2019, 02:37 PM   #39
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Step #1: Clear your mind of all thought.




There is of course no Step #2.
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Old 9th August 2019, 03:44 PM   #40
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It would seem that Wonder has done another seagull stunt on this thread. I was looking forward to some detailed ins and outs of how to Perform Telekinesis. I can't even do the step #1 slythe mentioned.
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