What was the WORST book you have ever read? - Page 8

John Jones · 10th October 2010, 01:36 PM

Dyanetics?

ETA: The Center of the Cyclone By John Lily.

phildonnia · 10th October 2010, 02:49 PM

I wouldn't call "And another thing" the worst book ever, although it was pretty bad. It might seem like a cheap shot just to point out that it's not Douglas Adams, and leave it at that. Colfer did manage to make the biggest ***hole in the universe the most likeable character in the book, if that says anything.

Nonpareil · 10th October 2010, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by MarkCorrigan

Ok, two that might make some people mad.

The Colour of Magic. My god is this an awful awful book. It's badly written (sorry PTerry, I love you but this is dreadful) and I read it thinking "and now something funny will happen...something funny will happen...any minute now" for maybe a quarter of the book before I threw it across the room in frustration. I've tried reading it twice since then and it's STILL not funny.

The 5th HHGTTG book is simply dreadful utter nonsense lazily spilled out on paper that could have been used for much greater things. Like tissues. I have the first 4 in one book and while I felt they dramatically went downhill from first to fourth, I still enjoyed all of them. This one though was simply dreadful. I didn't care for any of the formerly wonderful characters and it made me really rather angry. I was amazed that it was actually written by Adams. Ugh.

Actually, I agree with both of these, though it pains me to say so.

The Colour of Magic was terrible. I still love it, though, because you get a few glimpses of the stuff that the Discworld will become. I read it and loved it for the same reason that I read and loved The Dark Side of the Sun and Strata - not because they were good - or even adequate - books, but because I loved watching Terry Pratchett develop as a writer.

I have to cut Adams some slack on Mostly Harmless, though. In the collection of essays published after his death (collected in The Salmon of Doubt), Adams himself said that he hated Mostly Harmless. He hadn't read it for a while after its publication, and when he did, he despised it. His explanation: he was suffering from major medical depression at the time, and he didn't want his characters to be enjoying themselves if he wasn't. He was feeling dark and nasty, and he made the book reflect that.
Now, here's the sad bit: in that same essay, Adams revealed that he had plans for a sixth Hitchhiker's Guide book in the works. Y'know, one that wouldn't suck. But he died before he could begin work on it.

Sigh... one of the greatest tragedies of our time...

TubbaBlubba · 10th October 2010, 03:30 PM

I guess Colour of Magic might seem bad if you read other Discworld books before it, but it was the first one I read and I really enjoyed it, even if it felt very fragmented in the storytelling.

Rrose Selavy · 10th October 2010, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by Doghouse Reilly

No, her ascendancy is not a new phenomenon. She has always had a very strong following. I find it surprising that you would not have heard of her earlier, especially considering your
age, which would have placed you at a point in time where she was perhaps at her height of popularity.

What point in time would that be then?

Hindmost · 10th October 2010, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by Damien Evans

The Lord Of The Rings is my favourite book.

I was kidding...I actually plan on trying to give it another try when I retire. However, seeing the movies didn't help. I thought they were just violence without and substance.

glenn

Nonpareil · 10th October 2010, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by Hindmost

I was kidding...I actually plan on trying to give it another try when I retire. However, seeing the movies didn't help. I thought they were just violence without and substance.

glenn

I disagree strongly, but it's pretty much all opinion and off-topic anyway.

So I shall let it drop with this remark: Boromir's death scene was amazing.

Dave Rogers · 11th October 2010, 12:32 AM

Originally Posted by MarkCorrigan

The Colour of Magic. My god is this an awful awful book. It's badly written (sorry PTerry, I love you but this is dreadful) and I read it thinking "and now something funny will happen...something funny will happen...any minute now" for maybe a quarter of the book before I threw it across the room in frustration. I've tried reading it twice since then and it's STILL not funny.

Just in case you feel lonely, I really don't rate any of the first three Rincewind books, and I only read them out of loyalty and curiosity. Mort and Equal Rites are quite good, but it wasn't till somewhere around Wyrd Sisters or Guards! Guards! that Pratchett really hit his stride.

Dave

Floyt · 11th October 2010, 01:56 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Rogers

Just in case you feel lonely, I really don't rate any of the first three Rincewind books, and I only read them out of loyalty and curiosity. Mort and Equal Rites are quite good, but it wasn't till somewhere around Wyrd Sisters or Guards! Guards! that Pratchett really hit his stride.

Joining the huddle in the kitchen, I was completely baffled by Making Money. It felt... rote. Dangling plot ends, or frayed sutures at best, and half-developed stock characters. It's the first and only Pratchett book that really disappointed me.

But, that's still a basically good book that underperformed. For actual worst read, I'll go with Heinlein's Time Enough for Love. Boy, he was insufferable when he put his Lazarus Long hat on and started preaching. Based on that, I never did bother with The Number of the Beast and similar late efforts, choosing to preserve the good memories.

Madalch · 11th October 2010, 02:30 AM

Originally Posted by Dave Rogers

Just in case you feel lonely, I really don't rate any of the first three Rincewind books, and I only read them out of loyalty and curiosity. Mort and Equal Rites are quite good, but it wasn't till somewhere around Wyrd Sisters or Guards! Guards! that Pratchett really hit his stride.

I really enjoyed The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic when first read them. The first one suffered from being too obviously parody.

That said, I loathed Wyrd Sisters. I read it (along with ~~Faust~~Eric and either Mort and/or Reaper Man) and gave up on Discworld for many years. I didn't start reading Pratchett again until a friend lent me a copy of Feet of Clay, mentioning that heraldry plays a role in the plot.

TubbaBlubba · 12th October 2010, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by bookitty

You might want to try Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. Nothing like Dunces at all but compatible. Also, not classic fiction or anything, just very rich and readable.

I'll keep that in mind. The premise of that book sounds absolutely amazing.

carlitos · 12th October 2010, 02:40 PM

Worst book - Norman Mailer, Harlot's Ghost. I wasted a whole summer slagging through it, for no good reason.

Alferd_Packer · 14th October 2010, 02:12 PM

Originally Posted by four elevener

Stephen King's From a Buick 8.

I'm a big fan of his and I'll finish the good ones in a matter of days, but this one was so boring, I couldn't read any more than a chapter or two at a time. I would pick it up periodically after going a while without reading it (to see if it would get any better), but it never did, so back on the shelf it went. Eventually, I finished it after almost three years. Definitely one of his worse.

I checked that one out from the library and my dog ate it. I had to pay $30 to replace it.

hgc · 14th October 2010, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by carlitos

Worst book - Norman Mailer, Harlot's Ghost. I wasted a whole summer slagging through it, for no good reason.

It's famous for being the first newly issued hardcover novel to retail for $30 or more.

Lucian · 14th October 2010, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by hgc

It's famous for being the first newly issued hardcover novel to retail for $30 or more.

And for having a dangling participle in the first sentence:

Quote:

On a late winter evening in 1983, while driving through fog along the Maine coast, recollections of old campfires began to drift into the March mist, and I thought of the Algonquin tribe who dwelt near Bangor a thousand years ago.

theplu · 14th October 2010, 04:00 PM

The Celestine Prophecy. I read it out of curiosity and it was so poorly written, I can't even believe it was published.. and he's published other books. Makes me believe that I could just write a first draft of a ridiculous story and shop it around. I felt the same way about The DeVinci Code though at least the background ideas of the story were somewhat interesting (for the same reasons I like watching Monster Quest... wouldn't it be fun if it were true?). When the movie came out, my sister and I were discussing a few points and my very Catholic mother kept saying "It's just a story. It's just a story." to which we replied, "Gee mom, really? Cause I thought that's exactly how it all went down." (insert eye roll here)

Brainache · 15th October 2010, 01:19 AM

Welcome to the forum Theplu.

I said Battlefield Earth before and I still think it is pretty damn horrible, but now that I've finished the pile of crap that inspired the thread, I might agree with Wowbagger. It should never have been written.

Having said that, I'll add my vote for Tommyknockers, one of the few books I couldn't finish along with West Of Eden.

Oh yeah, and Less Than Zero, I got about a quarter of the way into it and just hated every single character.

Hans · 16th October 2010, 11:13 AM

Jose Farmer mashup of Tarzan and Doc Savage doing strange sex things with a secret organization - fortunately the title escapes me - one of the few books I not only didn't finish reading but threw away.

ReverendClog · 16th October 2010, 11:42 AM

I must agree with the choice of 'Catcher in the rye', its inexplicable how it became a classic. The lord of the Rings films are awful, just unrecognisable toss.

ReverendClog · 16th October 2010, 11:44 AM

Oh and sorry for forgetting, but this was a laughably bad book ; http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n6/n32831.jpg.
Still not as arse retchingly awful as 'Battlefield Earth@ though.

carlitos · 16th October 2010, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by Lucian

And for having a dangling participle in the first sentence:

Thanks for reminding me. Not to mention, the opening line is almost a parody of a bad opening line - "It was a dark and stormy night..."

Seriously, "recollections of old campfires began to drift into the March mist?" I should have put it down and watched the OJ trial, but it cost me $30 and I was unemployed at the time.

alfaniner · 16th October 2010, 02:45 PM

American Psycho was grueling, but not badly written. However, I felt like I wanted to take a shower after every time I picked it up. I had expected it to be the brilliant black comedy that the movie was. But it was just the horror without the humor.

BazBear · 16th October 2010, 09:54 PM

Hard one...Mein Kampf was the worst book I made myself fight thru. I'd have to say I can't pick a worse book that I've finished reading. (and I do like to read)

ParrotPirate · 17th October 2010, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by bjornart

From the OP:

For me it's The Iron Tower. I borrowed it from a friend in a pile of other SF and fantasy, and put it down after 20 pages the first time because that was enough to tell me this was an unimaginative Lord of the Rings rip-off.

I later decided to finish it, since I was returning the pile of books and returning one unread just felt wrong. It's not that it's badly written, in fact, at times I enjoyed it and thought things like "Hey, this bit is good. Nice to have some realistic females in your LOTR. And you haven't plagiarized stoff for a whole chapter." But then he'd do things like have the heroes enter the mines of Moria, only he changed the names.

And I don't mean he used common fantasy elements a lot. I mean he took LOTR, put tracing paper on top, and drew his own version. There's only something like 25% of the book... sorry, trilogy, this one really was written and published as a trilogy... 25% of the work that makes any pretense at being original.

This. Also "Jurassic Park" by Michael Crichton was painful. Made a better movie than book I thought.

jhunter1163 · 17th October 2010, 07:17 AM

The "Bible Code" books were horrid. A 200-page demonstration of the Law of Large Numbers, with a little fudging thrown in (ignoring a couple of letters in Hebrew so that the "codes" would fit).

Walrus32 · 17th October 2010, 08:33 AM

American Assassination by James Fetzer. He claims that Paul Wellstone's death in a plane crash was a government plot. Fetzer claims everything is a conspiracy - JFK, 9/11, even the faked moon walk. He's certified looney.

Pacal · 17th October 2010, 06:09 PM

Actually many years ago I read Hannibal the sequel of Silence of the Lambs and I thought it was the worst thing I had ever read in my life. It was basically violence porn trash.

I did read all the way through Danielle Steele's novel of the "real Hollywood", Stranger in the Mirror, which was so cliche ridden as to be infested with cliche rot.

In terms of pretentious crap American Psycho was basically violence porn dresed up as pretentious literary art, and failing totally. I got the impression the author was was getting his rock* off writing this crap.

Cactus Wren · 18th October 2010, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by Hans

Jose Farmer mashup of Tarzan and Doc Savage doing strange sex things with a secret organization - fortunately the title escapes me - one of the few books I not only didn't finish reading but threw away.

I contrived to miss that one, but I did read his earlier Tarzan/Sherlock Holmes crossover, The Adventure of the Peerless Peer, which is based on the notion that the only thing more sidesplittingly hilarious than having Holmes get airsick and throw up all over Watson is giving Holmes the brilliant, incisively in-character line "Watson, isn't that a****** firing a machine gun?" -- a level of high-larity that can only be topped by a Pseudo-Scholarly Footnote observing that either Watson, in typing up this manuscript, used one asterisk too few, or Holmes was using the American idiom since the a****** under discussion was in fact American.

This, btw, is the book that climaxed with the heroes stranded in the jungle about to be attacked by a swarm of African killer bees -- a swarm which Holmes lured away by stripping nude, daubing himself with two shades of mud into black-and-white stripes, and dancing around bent over and waggling his ass in an imitation of the bee dance so the bees mistook him for a giant bee and flew away.

Madalch · 18th October 2010, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by Cactus Wren

This, btw, is the book that climaxed with the heroes stranded in the jungle about to be attacked by a swarm of African killer bees -- a swarm which Holmes lured away by stripping nude, daubing himself with two shades of mud into black-and-white stripes, and dancing around bent over and waggling his ass in an imitation of the bee dance so the bees mistook him for a giant bee and flew away.

Please tell me you're joking.

Cactus Wren · 18th October 2010, 05:21 PM

How I wish I were.

TubbaBlubba · 18th October 2010, 11:06 PM

Originally Posted by Cactus Wren

This, btw, is the book that climaxed with the heroes stranded in the jungle about to be attacked by a swarm of African killer bees -- a swarm which Holmes lured away by stripping nude, daubing himself with two shades of mud into black-and-white stripes, and dancing around bent over and waggling his ass in an imitation of the bee dance so the bees mistook him for a giant bee and flew away.

That is the sound of my ocular muscles tearing from trying to point both of the eyes away from the screen in different directions.

Wowbagger · 20th October 2010, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by jhunter1163

The "Bible Code" books were horrid. A 200-page demonstration of the Law of Large Numbers, with a little fudging thrown in (ignoring a couple of letters in Hebrew so that the "codes" would fit).

Aaaargh! I can empathize with you on that one. I flipped open one of those books, once. It was like opening up a fresh, cranial can of crazy.

Maus · 20th October 2010, 10:17 AM

Shiva's Messenger by Russell Twyce

It was a gift.

-Maus

MarkCorrigan · 21st October 2010, 04:27 AM

In the Shadow of Mecca by Dr O David West; I was sent this is book about a white, American Christian doctor who goes to Saudi Arabia, and recounts his tales living there and meeting the people. It was written about his times in the late 70's to early 80's and his time during the 90's but it reads like a turn-of-the-last-century colonial explorer's diary. The man couldn't have been more condescending in his tone if he had tried. Almost hilarious, but not quite.

I was also sent by the same person at the same time (a biblical almost literalist who wasn't certain the Bible was all true, but didn't ever question it much) a book called something along the lines of "Where is God when it Hurts" which tried to handwave away the pain of the world being inconsistent with an all loving god by basically invoking "God works in mysterious ways" and "It all happens for a reason".

Finally, this hilarious book on dreams that I was given by my psychology teacher back in sixth form. No matter what you think about looking at dreams to psychoanalyse someone, trust me, this book is worse. It claims you can predict the future with your dreams. An example:

"Pagoda. If you see a Chinese pagoda in your dream, it is a sign that you will plant a lovely garden."

No, I did not make that up. Another example:

"Dreams. To dream that you dreamed is a sign that your dream will come true sometime in the future."

This book isn't joking. It's serious.

Wowbagger · 21st October 2010, 06:38 AM

Originally Posted by MarkCorrigan

"Dreams. To dream that you dreamed is a sign that your dream will come true sometime in the future."

Wait a minute... If you had a dream that you were dreaming, doesn't that imply that the dream already had come true, even while you were dreaming it?

Also: How does he know you're not being inceptioned.

Wudang · 22nd October 2010, 04:51 AM

Originally Posted by Cactus Wren

This, btw, is the book that climaxed with the heroes stranded in the jungle about to be attacked by a swarm of African killer bees -- a swarm which Holmes lured away by stripping nude, daubing himself with two shades of mud into black-and-white stripes, and dancing around bent over and waggling his ass in an imitation of the bee dance so the bees mistook him for a giant bee and flew away.

In any creative activity it's always worth considering the idea that maybe, just maybe, there's a reason that nobody ever used that idea before.

dafydd · 22nd October 2010, 06:06 AM

The World According To Garp by John Irving.

Ethan Thane Athen · 22nd October 2010, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by Abe_the_Man

The only book I ever stopped reading because it was terrible was "The Sword of Shanara". When I got to the "Council of Elrond"... I mean the part of the book that was Totally NOT the "Council of Elrond" I actually threw it in the garbage. I have NEVER before or since thrown a book in the garbage. It was that bad.

Only books I've ever given away. I bought the whole trilogy in one go because I was so convinced I'd like it and it got rave reviews. Yes most fantasy is derivative but he'd barely bothered changing anything from LOTR.

Aitch · 22nd October 2010, 07:17 AM

Apart from a Mills & Boon book I tried to read once at the girlfrinds place (got about 5 pages in) the only other one that I that I remember throwing away in disgust was a Mickey Spillane novel. When the central character (presumably the hero - it was written in the first person) basically raped a female messenger about ten pages in I decided it wasn't a book that warranted any more of my time.

Mind you, I managed to struggle through Sartre's Roads To Freedom trilogy. That was a waste of effort too.

C_Felix · 22nd October 2010, 07:20 AM

The World is Flat.

State your point and back it up!
Don't belabor it.

Good idea, good concept...but...UGH!
Someone needs to make Thomas Friedman read some Barbara Tuchman.

10th October 2010, 01:36 PM	#281
John Jones Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Iowa USA Posts: 12,131	Dyanetics? ETA: The Center of the Cyclone By John Lily.
	Last edited by John Jones; 10th October 2010 at 01:37 PM.

10th October 2010, 03:15 PM	#283
Nonpareil The Terrible Trivium Join Date: May 2009 Location: Nethescurial Posts: 8,096	Originally Posted by MarkCorrigan Ok, two that might make some people mad. The Colour of Magic. My god is this an awful awful book. It's badly written (sorry PTerry, I love you but this is dreadful) and I read it thinking "and now something funny will happen...something funny will happen...any minute now" for maybe a quarter of the book before I threw it across the room in frustration. I've tried reading it twice since then and it's STILL not funny. The 5th HHGTTG book is simply dreadful utter nonsense lazily spilled out on paper that could have been used for much greater things. Like tissues. I have the first 4 in one book and while I felt they dramatically went downhill from first to fourth, I still enjoyed all of them. This one though was simply dreadful. I didn't care for any of the formerly wonderful characters and it made me really rather angry. I was amazed that it was actually written by Adams. Ugh. Actually, I agree with both of these, though it pains me to say so. The Colour of Magic was terrible. I still love it, though, because you get a few glimpses of the stuff that the Discworld will become. I read it and loved it for the same reason that I read and loved The Dark Side of the Sun and Strata - not because they were good - or even adequate - books, but because I loved watching Terry Pratchett develop as a writer. I have to cut Adams some slack on Mostly Harmless, though. In the collection of essays published after his death (collected in The Salmon of Doubt), Adams himself said that he hated Mostly Harmless. He hadn't read it for a while after its publication, and when he did, he despised it. His explanation: he was suffering from major medical depression at the time, and he didn't want his characters to be enjoying themselves if he wasn't. He was feeling dark and nasty, and he made the book reflect that. Now, here's the sad bit: in that same essay, Adams revealed that he had plans for a sixth Hitchhiker's Guide book in the works. Y'know, one that wouldn't suck. But he died before he could begin work on it. Sigh... one of the greatest tragedies of our time...
	__________________ "The only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort." - Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

10th October 2010, 03:30 PM	#284
TubbaBlubba Knave of the Dudes Moderator Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 12,901	I guess Colour of Magic might seem bad if you read other Discworld books before it, but it was the first one I read and I really enjoyed it, even if it felt very fragmented in the storytelling.
	__________________ "The president’s voracious sexual appetite is the elephant that the president rides around on each and every day while pretending that it doesn’t exist." - Bill O'Reilly et al., Killing Kennedy

10th October 2010, 05:07 PM	#286
Hindmost Illuminator Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,307	Originally Posted by Damien Evans The Lord Of The Rings is my favourite book. I was kidding...I actually plan on trying to give it another try when I retire. However, seeing the movies didn't help. I thought they were just violence without and substance. glenn
Hindmost Illuminator Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,307	__________________ Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence Carl Sagan

10th October 2010, 07:19 PM	#287
Nonpareil The Terrible Trivium Join Date: May 2009 Location: Nethescurial Posts: 8,096	Originally Posted by Hindmost I was kidding...I actually plan on trying to give it another try when I retire. However, seeing the movies didn't help. I thought they were just violence without and substance. glenn I disagree strongly, but it's pretty much all opinion and off-topic anyway. So I shall let it drop with this remark: Boromir's death scene was amazing.
	__________________ "The only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort." - Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

10th October 2010, 02:49 PM	#282
phildonnia Master Poster Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 2,439	I wouldn't call "And another thing" the worst book ever, although it was pretty bad. It might seem like a cheap shot just to point out that it's not Douglas Adams, and leave it at that. Colfer did manage to make the biggest ***hole in the universe the most likeable character in the book, if that says anything.

10th October 2010, 04:33 PM	#285
Rrose Selavy Stranded in Sub-Atomica Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 3,395	Originally Posted by Doghouse Reilly No, her ascendancy is not a new phenomenon. She has always had a very strong following. I find it surprising that you would not have heard of her earlier, especially considering your age, which would have placed you at a point in time where she was perhaps at her height of popularity. What point in time would that be then?

11th October 2010, 12:32 AM	#288
Dave Rogers Bandaged ice that stampedes inexpensively through a scribbled morning waving necessary ankles Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cair Paravel, according to XKCD Posts: 32,248	Originally Posted by MarkCorrigan The Colour of Magic. My god is this an awful awful book. It's badly written (sorry PTerry, I love you but this is dreadful) and I read it thinking "and now something funny will happen...something funny will happen...any minute now" for maybe a quarter of the book before I threw it across the room in frustration. I've tried reading it twice since then and it's STILL not funny. Just in case you feel lonely, I really don't rate any of the first three Rincewind books, and I only read them out of loyalty and curiosity. Mort and Equal Rites are quite good, but it wasn't till somewhere around Wyrd Sisters or Guards! Guards! that Pratchett really hit his stride. Dave
	__________________ There is truth and there are lies. - President Joseph R. Biden, January 20th, 2021

11th October 2010, 01:56 AM	#289
Floyt Chordate Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Cape Town. Still not mugged. Plenty of chameleons though, and stepped on a cobra. Posts: 1,684	Originally Posted by Dave Rogers Just in case you feel lonely, I really don't rate any of the first three Rincewind books, and I only read them out of loyalty and curiosity. Mort and Equal Rites are quite good, but it wasn't till somewhere around Wyrd Sisters or Guards! Guards! that Pratchett really hit his stride. Joining the huddle in the kitchen, I was completely baffled by Making Money. It felt... rote. Dangling plot ends, or frayed sutures at best, and half-developed stock characters. It's the first and only Pratchett book that really disappointed me. But, that's still a basically good book that underperformed. For actual worst read, I'll go with Heinlein's Time Enough for Love. Boy, he was insufferable when he put his Lazarus Long hat on and started preaching. Based on that, I never did bother with The Number of the Beast and similar late efforts, choosing to preserve the good memories.
	__________________ They had no god; they had no gods; they had no faith. What they appear to have had is a working metaphor. - Ursula K. Le Guin, "Always Coming Home"

11th October 2010, 02:30 AM	#290
Madalch The Jester Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,763	Originally Posted by Dave Rogers Just in case you feel lonely, I really don't rate any of the first three Rincewind books, and I only read them out of loyalty and curiosity. Mort and Equal Rites are quite good, but it wasn't till somewhere around Wyrd Sisters or Guards! Guards! that Pratchett really hit his stride. I really enjoyed The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic when first read them. The first one suffered from being too obviously parody. That said, I loathed Wyrd Sisters. I read it (along with ~~Faust~~Eric and either Mort and/or Reaper Man) and gave up on Discworld for many years. I didn't start reading Pratchett again until a friend lent me a copy of Feet of Clay, mentioning that heraldry plays a role in the plot.
Madalch The Jester Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,763	__________________ As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of resolving approaches zero. -Vaarsuvius It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face. -Charlie Brooker

12th October 2010, 02:27 PM	#291
TubbaBlubba Knave of the Dudes Moderator Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 12,901	Originally Posted by bookitty You might want to try Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. Nothing like Dunces at all but compatible. Also, not classic fiction or anything, just very rich and readable. I'll keep that in mind. The premise of that book sounds absolutely amazing.
	__________________ "The president’s voracious sexual appetite is the elephant that the president rides around on each and every day while pretending that it doesn’t exist." - Bill O'Reilly et al., Killing Kennedy

12th October 2010, 02:40 PM	#292
carlitos "más divertido" Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA! USA! Posts: 22,779	Worst book - Norman Mailer, Harlot's Ghost. I wasted a whole summer slagging through it, for no good reason.

14th October 2010, 02:12 PM	#293
Alferd_Packer Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 8,746	Originally Posted by four elevener Stephen King's From a Buick 8. I'm a big fan of his and I'll finish the good ones in a matter of days, but this one was so boring, I couldn't read any more than a chapter or two at a time. I would pick it up periodically after going a while without reading it (to see if it would get any better), but it never did, so back on the shelf it went. Eventually, I finished it after almost three years. Definitely one of his worse. I checked that one out from the library and my dog ate it. I had to pay $30 to replace it.
	__________________ No laws of physics were broken in the writing of this post

14th October 2010, 03:17 PM	#294
hgc Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 15,892	Originally Posted by carlitos Worst book - Norman Mailer, Harlot's Ghost. I wasted a whole summer slagging through it, for no good reason. It's famous for being the first newly issued hardcover novel to retail for $30 or more.

14th October 2010, 03:50 PM	#295
Lucian Illuminator Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 3,237	Originally Posted by hgc It's famous for being the first newly issued hardcover novel to retail for $30 or more. And for having a dangling participle in the first sentence: Quote: On a late winter evening in 1983, while driving through fog along the Maine coast, recollections of old campfires began to drift into the March mist, and I thought of the Algonquin tribe who dwelt near Bangor a thousand years ago.
Lucian Illuminator Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 3,237	__________________ skepticalhumanities.com virtualskeptics.com

14th October 2010, 04:00 PM	#296
theplu New Blood Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 1	The Celestine Prophecy. I read it out of curiosity and it was so poorly written, I can't even believe it was published.. and he's published other books. Makes me believe that I could just write a first draft of a ridiculous story and shop it around. I felt the same way about The DeVinci Code though at least the background ideas of the story were somewhat interesting (for the same reasons I like watching Monster Quest... wouldn't it be fun if it were true?). When the movie came out, my sister and I were discussing a few points and my very Catholic mother kept saying "It's just a story. It's just a story." to which we replied, "Gee mom, really? Cause I thought that's exactly how it all went down." (insert eye roll here)
theplu New Blood Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 1

15th October 2010, 01:19 AM	#297
Brainache Nasty Brutish and Tall Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canberra Posts: 17,459	Welcome to the forum Theplu. I said Battlefield Earth before and I still think it is pretty damn horrible, but now that I've finished the pile of crap that inspired the thread, I might agree with Wowbagger. It should never have been written. Having said that, I'll add my vote for Tommyknockers, one of the few books I couldn't finish along with West Of Eden. Oh yeah, and Less Than Zero, I got about a quarter of the way into it and just hated every single character.

16th October 2010, 11:13 AM	#298
Hans Philosopher Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 8,431	Jose Farmer mashup of Tarzan and Doc Savage doing strange sex things with a secret organization - fortunately the title escapes me - one of the few books I not only didn't finish reading but threw away.
Hans Philosopher Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 8,431

16th October 2010, 11:42 AM	#299
ReverendClog Banned Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 435	I must agree with the choice of 'Catcher in the rye', its inexplicable how it became a classic. The lord of the Rings films are awful, just unrecognisable toss.
ReverendClog Banned Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 435

16th October 2010, 11:44 AM	#300
ReverendClog Banned Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 435	Oh and sorry for forgetting, but this was a laughably bad book ; http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n6/n32831.jpg. Still not as arse retchingly awful as 'Battlefield Earth@ though.
ReverendClog Banned Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 435

16th October 2010, 02:04 PM	#301
carlitos "más divertido" Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA! USA! Posts: 22,779	Originally Posted by Lucian And for having a dangling participle in the first sentence: Thanks for reminding me. Not to mention, the opening line is almost a parody of a bad opening line - "It was a dark and stormy night..." Seriously, "recollections of old campfires began to drift into the March mist?" I should have put it down and watched the OJ trial, but it cost me $30 and I was unemployed at the time.

16th October 2010, 02:45 PM	#302
alfaniner Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 24,616	American Psycho was grueling, but not badly written. However, I felt like I wanted to take a shower after every time I picked it up. I had expected it to be the brilliant black comedy that the movie was. But it was just the horror without the humor.
	__________________ Science is self-correcting. Woo is self-contradicting.

16th October 2010, 09:54 PM	#303
BazBear Possible Suspect Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Slightly Over The Hill, Not Too Far Around The Bend Posts: 2,722	Hard one...Mein Kampf was the worst book I made myself fight thru. I'd have to say I can't pick a worse book that I've finished reading. (and I do like to read)
	__________________ I don't see how an article of clothing can be indecent. A person, yes. - Robert A. Heinlein If Christ died for our sins, dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? - Jules Feiffer If you are going through hell, keep going - Winston Churchill Last edited by BazBear; 16th October 2010 at 09:55 PM.

17th October 2010, 07:01 AM	#304
ParrotPirate Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,606	Originally Posted by bjornart From the OP: For me it's The Iron Tower. I borrowed it from a friend in a pile of other SF and fantasy, and put it down after 20 pages the first time because that was enough to tell me this was an unimaginative Lord of the Rings rip-off. I later decided to finish it, since I was returning the pile of books and returning one unread just felt wrong. It's not that it's badly written, in fact, at times I enjoyed it and thought things like "Hey, this bit is good. Nice to have some realistic females in your LOTR. And you haven't plagiarized stoff for a whole chapter." But then he'd do things like have the heroes enter the mines of Moria, only he changed the names. And I don't mean he used common fantasy elements a lot. I mean he took LOTR, put tracing paper on top, and drew his own version. There's only something like 25% of the book... sorry, trilogy, this one really was written and published as a trilogy... 25% of the work that makes any pretense at being original. This. Also "Jurassic Park" by Michael Crichton was painful. Made a better movie than book I thought.

17th October 2010, 07:17 AM	#305
jhunter1163 beer-swilling semiliterate Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Connecticut, or King Arthur's Court. Hard to tell sometimes. Posts: 25,291	The "Bible Code" books were horrid. A 200-page demonstration of the Law of Large Numbers, with a little fudging thrown in (ignoring a couple of letters in Hebrew so that the "codes" would fit).
	__________________ A møøse ønce bit my sister

17th October 2010, 08:33 AM	#306
Walrus32 Critical Thinker Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 469	American Assassination by James Fetzer. He claims that Paul Wellstone's death in a plane crash was a government plot. Fetzer claims everything is a conspiracy - JFK, 9/11, even the faked moon walk. He's certified looney.
Walrus32 Critical Thinker Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 469	__________________ Bibo, ergo sum.

17th October 2010, 06:09 PM	#307
Pacal Graduate Poster Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,124	Actually many years ago I read Hannibal the sequel of Silence of the Lambs and I thought it was the worst thing I had ever read in my life. It was basically violence porn trash. I did read all the way through Danielle Steele's novel of the "real Hollywood", Stranger in the Mirror, which was so cliche ridden as to be infested with cliche rot. In terms of pretentious crap American Psycho was basically violence porn dresed up as pretentious literary art, and failing totally. I got the impression the author was was getting his rock* off writing this crap.

18th October 2010, 12:41 PM	#308
Cactus Wren Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 895	Originally Posted by Hans Jose Farmer mashup of Tarzan and Doc Savage doing strange sex things with a secret organization - fortunately the title escapes me - one of the few books I not only didn't finish reading but threw away. I contrived to miss that one, but I did read his earlier Tarzan/Sherlock Holmes crossover, The Adventure of the Peerless Peer, which is based on the notion that the only thing more sidesplittingly hilarious than having Holmes get airsick and throw up all over Watson is giving Holmes the brilliant, incisively in-character line "Watson, isn't that a**** firing a machine gun?" -- a level of high-larity that can only be topped by a Pseudo-Scholarly Footnote observing that either Watson, in typing up this manuscript, used one asterisk too few, or Holmes was using the American idiom since the a**** under discussion was in fact American. This, btw, is the book that climaxed with the heroes stranded in the jungle about to be attacked by a swarm of African killer bees -- a swarm which Holmes lured away by stripping nude, daubing himself with two shades of mud into black-and-white stripes, and dancing around bent over and waggling his ass in an imitation of the bee dance so the bees mistook him for a giant bee and flew away.
Cactus Wren Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 895	Last edited by Cactus Wren; 18th October 2010 at 12:42 PM.

18th October 2010, 01:37 PM	#309
Madalch The Jester Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,763	Originally Posted by Cactus Wren This, btw, is the book that climaxed with the heroes stranded in the jungle about to be attacked by a swarm of African killer bees -- a swarm which Holmes lured away by stripping nude, daubing himself with two shades of mud into black-and-white stripes, and dancing around bent over and waggling his ass in an imitation of the bee dance so the bees mistook him for a giant bee and flew away. Please tell me you're joking.
Madalch The Jester Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,763	__________________ As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of resolving approaches zero. -Vaarsuvius It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face. -Charlie Brooker

18th October 2010, 05:21 PM	#310
Cactus Wren Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 895	How I wish I were.
Cactus Wren Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 895

18th October 2010, 11:06 PM	#311
TubbaBlubba Knave of the Dudes Moderator Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 12,901	Originally Posted by Cactus Wren This, btw, is the book that climaxed with the heroes stranded in the jungle about to be attacked by a swarm of African killer bees -- a swarm which Holmes lured away by stripping nude, daubing himself with two shades of mud into black-and-white stripes, and dancing around bent over and waggling his ass in an imitation of the bee dance so the bees mistook him for a giant bee and flew away. That is the sound of my ocular muscles tearing from trying to point both of the eyes away from the screen in different directions.
	__________________ "The president’s voracious sexual appetite is the elephant that the president rides around on each and every day while pretending that it doesn’t exist." - Bill O'Reilly et al., Killing Kennedy

20th October 2010, 09:51 AM	#312
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Westchester County, NY (when not in space) Posts: 15,435	Originally Posted by jhunter1163 The "Bible Code" books were horrid. A 200-page demonstration of the Law of Large Numbers, with a little fudging thrown in (ignoring a couple of letters in Hebrew so that the "codes" would fit). Aaaargh! I can empathize with you on that one. I flipped open one of those books, once. It was like opening up a fresh, cranial can of crazy.
	__________________ WARNING: Phrases in this post may sound meaner than they were intended to be. SkeptiCamp NYC: http://www.skepticampnyc.org/ An open conference on science and skepticism, where *you* could be a presenter! By the way, my first name is NOT Bowerick!!!!

20th October 2010, 10:17 AM	#313
Maus Thinker Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 225	Shiva's Messenger by Russell Twyce It was a gift. -Maus
Maus Thinker Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 225

21st October 2010, 04:27 AM	#314
MarkCorrigan Winter is Coming Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 8,916	In the Shadow of Mecca by Dr O David West; I was sent this is book about a white, American Christian doctor who goes to Saudi Arabia, and recounts his tales living there and meeting the people. It was written about his times in the late 70's to early 80's and his time during the 90's but it reads like a turn-of-the-last-century colonial explorer's diary. The man couldn't have been more condescending in his tone if he had tried. Almost hilarious, but not quite. I was also sent by the same person at the same time (a biblical almost literalist who wasn't certain the Bible was all true, but didn't ever question it much) a book called something along the lines of "Where is God when it Hurts" which tried to handwave away the pain of the world being inconsistent with an all loving god by basically invoking "God works in mysterious ways" and "It all happens for a reason". Finally, this hilarious book on dreams that I was given by my psychology teacher back in sixth form. No matter what you think about looking at dreams to psychoanalyse someone, trust me, this book is worse. It claims you can predict the future with your dreams. An example: "Pagoda. If you see a Chinese pagoda in your dream, it is a sign that you will plant a lovely garden." No, I did not make that up. Another example: "Dreams. To dream that you dreamed is a sign that your dream will come true sometime in the future." This book isn't joking. It's serious.
	__________________ Naturalism adjusts it's principles to fit with the observed data. It's a god of the facts world view. -joobz They for example thought that slavery was perfectly fine, absolutely OK, and then they didn't and what is the point of the Catholic Church if it says "Oh we couldn't know better because no one else did" THEN WHAT ARE YOU FOR? - Stephen Fry

21st October 2010, 06:38 AM	#315
Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Westchester County, NY (when not in space) Posts: 15,435	Originally Posted by MarkCorrigan "Dreams. To dream that you dreamed is a sign that your dream will come true sometime in the future." Wait a minute... If you had a dream that you were dreaming, doesn't that imply that the dream already had come true, even while you were dreaming it? Also: How does he know you're not being inceptioned.
	__________________ WARNING: Phrases in this post may sound meaner than they were intended to be. SkeptiCamp NYC: http://www.skepticampnyc.org/ An open conference on science and skepticism, where *you* could be a presenter! By the way, my first name is NOT Bowerick!!!!