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Old 19th June 2019, 04:58 AM   #1
Travis
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If only privately owned Austrian hotels had capitalism

We've all been there. You're in a Marriott operated, Dubai owned hotel in Vienna, Austria and just can't stand all the socialism seeping into the marble tiled halls. It seeps in and just breaks the elevator as socialism is known to do.

That was the terrible situation Frank Luntz, former advisor to W Bush, found himself in. His stay in opulence was marred by the nasty socialism breaking the elevator. Naturally the only recourse he had was to post about it on Twitter which was definitely the greatest idea to come out of Vienna since Mozart composed that song about farts.

I mean we all know that in a capitalist hotel things can never break. Too many invisible hands guiding things for stuff to just break. And even if they did magic capitalism elves are always on duty to make sure things get fixed before anyone even knows something is wrong. Why can't those childless Europeans understand this! Can't Austria produce some exuberant right wing thinkers? Surely that has never gone wrong before in history.

Anyways, watch out America. We can't let that European socialism creep over here and break our elevators too.
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Old 19th June 2019, 05:01 AM   #2
SuburbanTurkey
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If a broken elevator is proof that Socialism doesn't work, then Comcast is proof that Capitalism is a crime against humanity.
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Old 19th June 2019, 05:13 AM   #3
Darat
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Surreal.
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Old 19th June 2019, 05:23 AM   #4
TragicMonkey
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If a broken elevator in a hotel doesn't prove anything about a political economic system, then what does a Tweet from a nobody prove? Something deeply significant, I'm sure.
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Old 19th June 2019, 05:26 AM   #5
Armitage72
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It reminds me of an article I saw on Snopes recently, about a meme circulating online.

"Your city on Socialism". Shows a run-down debris-strewn street.
"Your hospital on Socialism." Shows a filthy treatment room with patients treated in poor conditions.
"Your grocery store on Socialism." Shows a woman pushing a shopping cart past empty shelves.
"Your politician on socialism." Shows a massive mansion.

The problems was that only one picture was from a Socialist country. The hospital photo was from Venezuela. The city photo was Detroit, from an article about abandoned building being demolished and replaced. The grocery store was a Walmart in Texas, cleaned out by customers before Hurricane Rita. The mansion was a hotel in New York.
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Old 19th June 2019, 06:22 AM   #6
Norman Alexander
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We certainly don't have socialism here in the land down un...


...oh wait, you meant AUSTRIA!

Right, then. Carry on!
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Old 19th June 2019, 12:32 PM   #7
Stacyhs
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Quote:
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Replying to @FrankLuntz @ImperialVienna
Because, as we all know, elevators never go down for extended periods of time in the United States.
Tell that to Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, Howard, and Penny!
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Old 19th June 2019, 12:33 PM   #8
TragicMonkey
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Does anybody outside the US even have elevators? I thought everywhere else had lifts.
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Old 19th June 2019, 02:32 PM   #9
Stacyhs
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Does anybody outside the US even have elevators? I thought everywhere else had lifts.
That's because elevators are waaaaaay better than lifts. Lots of people are saying so. Elevator exceptionalism, don't ya know?
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Old 19th June 2019, 04:49 PM   #10
Trebuchet
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Poe's law applies. Oh, wait, no, it doesn't. That was intentional sarcasm. He appears to be no fan of Trump, for instance calling him out for mentioning Hillary 20 times in his campaign rally.
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Old 19th June 2019, 04:57 PM   #11
Stacyhs
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
Poe's law applies. Oh, wait, no, it doesn't. That was intentional sarcasm. He appears to be no fan of Trump, for instance calling him out for mentioning Hillary 20 times in his campaign rally.
Trump is so fixated on Hillary. She isn't running but you wouldn't know that by the amount of times Trump brings her up.
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Old 20th June 2019, 05:01 AM   #12
Ryokan
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Does anybody outside the US even have elevators? I thought everywhere else had lifts.
We have neither. We have heis.

When it's moving, a sign saying "I FART" lights up.

No joke.
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Old 20th June 2019, 05:11 AM   #13
Guybrush Threepwood
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Does anybody outside the US even have elevators? I thought everywhere else had lifts.
It's Austria, they have Aufzüge.
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Old 20th June 2019, 06:53 PM   #14
Skeptic Ginger
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Originally Posted by SuburbanTurkey View Post
If a broken elevator is proof that Socialism doesn't work, then Comcast is proof that Capitalism is a crime against humanity.
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Privatize the profits and socialize the losses. It's the American way. That's how Mnuchin got rich. Worse, he did it on the backs of elderly people who had been conned into reverse mortgages. Mnuchin paid zero, took on the debt then taxpayers bailed him out.

Space Force.
Because feeding poor people is socialism.
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Old 20th June 2019, 06:57 PM   #15
Skeptic Ginger
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Originally Posted by Ryokan View Post
We have neither. We have heis.

When it's moving, a sign saying "I FART" lights up.

No joke.
That's what the joke in the other thread was about. Now it makes sense.
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Privatize the profits and socialize the losses. It's the American way. That's how Mnuchin got rich. Worse, he did it on the backs of elderly people who had been conned into reverse mortgages. Mnuchin paid zero, took on the debt then taxpayers bailed him out.

Space Force.
Because feeding poor people is socialism.
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Old 22nd June 2019, 05:48 AM   #16
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This is outrageous. The government must take over the hotel to prevent further socializations.
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