Oral Roberts is dead.

Cainkane1 · 15th December 2009, 02:17 PM

I always perceived this man to be a charlatan. The people who he was supposed to be healing weren't visibly ill. No amputated limbs ever appeared and no hunchbacks ever had their spine straighted out. No blind people could see no deaf could really hear. He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him.

Marduk · 15th December 2009, 02:33 PM

who is oral roberts ?
sounds kinky

Doubt · 15th December 2009, 02:36 PM

What? No blackmail effort from God this time?

Nonpareil · 15th December 2009, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by Cainkane1

He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him.

While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous.

paximperium · 15th December 2009, 03:06 PM

Originally Posted by Pure_Argent

While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous.

While I do hope his "university" collapses into ruin and his crap based beliefs die with him, his family and friends do miss him.

Mister Agenda · 15th December 2009, 03:14 PM

I hope he died peacefully.

Ysidro · 15th December 2009, 03:16 PM

Originally Posted by Marduk

who is oral roberts ?
sounds kinky

American televangelist. In '87 he claimed if he did raise $8mil God would call him home.

A co-worker thinks all the money blocked his ears until now.

Gawdzilla Sama · 15th December 2009, 03:33 PM

What steps have been taken to make sure he stays dead?

shemp · 15th December 2009, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by Gawdzilla

What steps have been taken to make sure he stays dead?

I would love to see him return as a zombie.

Gawdzilla Sama · 15th December 2009, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by shemp

I would love to see him return as a zombie.

You mean "remain", not "return", right?

Marduk · 15th December 2009, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by shemp

I would love to see him return as a zombie.

Only Jewish Messiahs can do that and even then it doesn't last

The Central Scrutinizer · 15th December 2009, 04:06 PM

The 900 foot tall Jesus came to take him home.

Spektator · 15th December 2009, 05:02 PM

My favorite Oral Roberts University tale:

A centerpiece of the campus is the Praying Hands monument, gargantuan praying hands that weigh 30 tons, in a courtyard setting. A freak tornado toppled the hands. Engineers couldn't figure a way to right them again without tearing apart the courtyard walls, at great expense.

Then a mousy little guy showed up and said, "If I can get them up again, without any damage to the courtyard, would you pay me a thousand bucks?"

Impossible, but with nothing to lose, they told the little guy to try. He walked to the edge of the courtyard, took a quarter out of his pocket, and tossed it in an arc over the fallen hands.

And they jumped up to smack closed on the quarter, righting themselves.

paximperium · 15th December 2009, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer

The 900 foot tall Jesus came to take him home.

No. The giant hands did.

Gawdzilla Sama · 15th December 2009, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer

The 900 foot tall Jesus came to take him home.

That was Mecha-Streisand.

Tricky · 15th December 2009, 07:19 PM

I once bought one of his albums, but I couldn't play it because the hole healed up.

Questioninggeller · 15th December 2009, 07:40 PM

If anyone cares to remember Oral Roberts' activities, Randi's The Faith Healers has a chapter detailing Roberts' "miracles" / faith healing.

Also Ozzy Osbourne donated a dollar to Roberts' ministry so Roberts could get the professional help he needed.

Hux · 15th December 2009, 08:15 PM

So thats Falwell, now Roberts. Who will be next, Robertson? They have all missed the rapture.

The Central Scrutinizer · 15th December 2009, 08:39 PM

I can see the headline in tomorrow mornings paper:

"Jesus Receives Oral"

arthwollipot · 15th December 2009, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer

I can see the headline in tomorrow mornings paper:

"Jesus Receives Oral"

I am extremely uncomfortable about celebrating, laughing, or being in any way happy at the death of another human being. But I just couldn't help myself and giggled.

hgc · 15th December 2009, 09:45 PM

Has anyone seen Hitchens on the cable-waves? It's in these situations that he really shines.

tsig · 15th December 2009, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by Marduk

who is oral roberts ?
sounds kinky

He certainly sucked his followers dry.

nescafe · 15th December 2009, 09:53 PM

Originally Posted by Cainkane1

I always perceived this man to be a charlatan. The people who he was supposed to be healing weren't visibly ill. No amputated limbs ever appeared and no hunchbacks ever had their spine straighted out. No blind people could see no deaf could really hear. He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him.

After the morgue enema he will probably fit in the matchbox with Falwell.

tsig · 15th December 2009, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by Pure_Argent

While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous.

Oral went to meet his god and be happy with him in heaven.

He left behind a multimillion dollar enterprise spewing hate and intolerance.

By their fruits shall ye know them.

tsig · 15th December 2009, 10:05 PM

Originally Posted by paximperium

While I do hope his "university" collapses into ruin and his crap based beliefs die with him, his family and friends do miss him.

Evidence?

His friends now have control over the money and his family is free of his domineering presence and he gets to be happy with god. Looks like win, win and win for the living.

Achán hiNidráne · 15th December 2009, 10:13 PM

WOOOO HOO!

I need the funeral date, a plane ticket, the location of his grave, and a Big Gulp... no, make that SEVERAL Big Gulps.

Ding dong Fellatio Roberts is DEAD!

tsig · 15th December 2009, 10:20 PM

Originally Posted by Hux

So thats Falwell, now Roberts. Who will be next, Robertson? They have all missed the rapture.

Ask their secretaries about that.

billw · 15th December 2009, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by shemp

I would love to see him return as a zombie.

A fast zombie, or a slow zombie?

KodeBlue · 15th December 2009, 10:58 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE4icQMfMhc

Bob Blaylock · 16th December 2009, 12:53 AM

Originally Posted by Ysidro

American televangelist. In '87 he claimed if he did raise $8mil God would call him home.

I have to confess that I tried to murder Mr. Roberts, by maliciously, declining to send him any money.

Cactus Wren · 16th December 2009, 02:30 AM

Originally Posted by Bob Blaylock

I have to confess that I tried to murder Mr. Roberts, by maliciously, declining to send him any money.

My housemate says that she lost a friend by saying at that time, "Great -- now is our chance to actually find out whether there's a God!"

Brown · 16th December 2009, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by Cainkane1

He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him.

It is a harsh thing to say, but in my view, to say that the man the man "contributed nothing of value to society" is to be kind to him. In my view, he was a parasite and a destroyer, not a contributor. He was a huckster, a con artist who deserved to go to the pokey, and the principal reason that he did not was that he committed his sins in the name of religion.

Although there is no shortage of miscreants lining up to fleece the faithful now that Oral is gone, make no mistake: the world is better off without him.

Amen.

Beerina · 16th December 2009, 08:44 AM

Originally Posted by Pure_Argent

While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous.

Compared to what? I wonder if anybody died because of a faith heal (did he do those?) or because they relied on prayer.

shemp · 16th December 2009, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by KodeBlue

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE4icQMfMhc

You neglected the best version:

YouTube Video This video is not hosted by the ISF. The ISF can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website.

I AGREE

Tricky · 16th December 2009, 09:37 AM

Originally Posted by Cactus Wren

My housemate says that she lost a friend by saying at that time, "Great -- now is our chance to actually find out whether there's a God!"

Doonesbury actually did a few strips on this when it happened. It was just news coming from the TV, but the newscasters were talking about "God becoming a terrorist". After all, He was taking a hostage and demanding cash or he'd kill the hostage. It was very funny.

Achán hiNidráne · 16th December 2009, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by shemp

You neglected the best version:

YouTube Video This video is not hosted by the ISF. The ISF can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website.

I AGREE

Heh! Thanks Klaus! We miss you!

If I might borrow a phrase from H. L. Mencken's eulogy for William Jennings Bryan:

"Has it been marked by historians that the late Oral Robert's last secular act on this earth was to catch flies?"

FreshHat · 16th December 2009, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by paximperium

No. The giant hands did.

I always thought that was the C. Montgomery Burns Monument.

ravdin · 16th December 2009, 10:11 AM

Originally Posted by Pure_Argent

While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous.

What strikes me as overly callous is pretending to have magical healing powers and lying to desperate people to rip them off.

Hux · 16th December 2009, 10:35 AM

Benny Hinn next?

Achán hiNidráne · 16th December 2009, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by Hux

Benny Hinn next?

Given his age, I would have to say that Robertson is next on his God's chopping block.

15th December 2009, 02:17 PM	#1
Cainkane1 Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: The great American southeast Posts: 8,875	Oral Roberts is dead. I always perceived this man to be a charlatan. The people who he was supposed to be healing weren't visibly ill. No amputated limbs ever appeared and no hunchbacks ever had their spine straighted out. No blind people could see no deaf could really hear. He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him.
	__________________ If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then if you fail to succeed to Hell with that. Try something else.

15th December 2009, 02:33 PM	#2
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 10,183	who is oral roberts ? sounds kinky
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 10,183

15th December 2009, 02:36 PM	#3
Doubt Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 7,165	What? No blackmail effort from God this time?
Doubt Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 7,165	__________________ 45 es un titere

15th December 2009, 02:46 PM	#4
Nonpareil The Terrible Trivium Join Date: May 2009 Location: Nethescurial Posts: 8,096	Originally Posted by Cainkane1 He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him. While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous.
	__________________ "The only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort." - Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

15th December 2009, 03:06 PM	#5
paximperium Penultimate Amazing Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 10,696	Originally Posted by Pure_Argent While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous. While I do hope his "university" collapses into ruin and his crap based beliefs die with him, his family and friends do miss him.
	__________________ "The method of science is tried and true. It is not perfect, it's just the best we have. And to abandon it with its skeptical protocols is the pathway to a dark age." -Carl Sagan "They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance."-Terry Pratchett

15th December 2009, 03:14 PM	#6
Mister Agenda Illuminator Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 3,139	I hope he died peacefully.

15th December 2009, 03:16 PM	#7
Ysidro I'm watching you Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 5,320	Originally Posted by Marduk who is oral roberts ? sounds kinky American televangelist. In '87 he claimed if he did raise $8mil God would call him home. A co-worker thinks all the money blocked his ears until now.
Ysidro I'm watching you Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 5,320	__________________ This is a sig file. Does anyone even read this stuff?

15th December 2009, 03:33 PM	#8
Gawdzilla Sama 121.92-meter mutant fire-breathing lizard-thingy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northern St. Louis County, Missouri. Posts: 42,180	What steps have been taken to make sure he stays dead?
	__________________ Guns that are instantly available for use are instantly available for misuse. World War II Diplomatic and Political Resources Hyperwar, WWII Military History Buying conspiracy books is a voluntary tax on stupid.

15th December 2009, 03:35 PM	#9
shemp a flimsy character...perfidious and despised Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: People's Democratic Republic of Planet X Posts: 40,859	Originally Posted by Gawdzilla What steps have been taken to make sure he stays dead? I would love to see him return as a zombie.
	__________________ If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set. "...just as a magnet attracts iron filings, ~~Trump~~ shemp attracts, and is attracted to, louts." - George Will "[shemp is] a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality." - Shakespeare

15th December 2009, 03:39 PM	#10
Gawdzilla Sama 121.92-meter mutant fire-breathing lizard-thingy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northern St. Louis County, Missouri. Posts: 42,180	Originally Posted by shemp I would love to see him return as a zombie. You mean "remain", not "return", right?
	__________________ Guns that are instantly available for use are instantly available for misuse. World War II Diplomatic and Political Resources Hyperwar, WWII Military History Buying conspiracy books is a voluntary tax on stupid.

15th December 2009, 03:54 PM	#11
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 10,183	Originally Posted by shemp I would love to see him return as a zombie. Only Jewish Messiahs can do that and even then it doesn't last
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 10,183

15th December 2009, 04:06 PM	#12
The Central Scrutinizer Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 53,052	The 900 foot tall Jesus came to take him home.
	__________________ If I see somebody with a gun on a plane? I'll kill him. Lupus is Lupus tor central scrutineezer

15th December 2009, 05:02 PM	#13
Spektator Watching . . . always watching. Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Southeastern USA Posts: 1,951	My favorite Oral Roberts University tale: A centerpiece of the campus is the Praying Hands monument, gargantuan praying hands that weigh 30 tons, in a courtyard setting. A freak tornado toppled the hands. Engineers couldn't figure a way to right them again without tearing apart the courtyard walls, at great expense. Then a mousy little guy showed up and said, "If I can get them up again, without any damage to the courtyard, would you pay me a thousand bucks?" Impossible, but with nothing to lose, they told the little guy to try. He walked to the edge of the courtyard, took a quarter out of his pocket, and tossed it in an arc over the fallen hands. And they jumped up to smack closed on the quarter, righting themselves.

15th December 2009, 05:05 PM	#14
paximperium Penultimate Amazing Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 10,696	Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer The 900 foot tall Jesus came to take him home. No. The giant hands did.
	__________________ "The method of science is tried and true. It is not perfect, it's just the best we have. And to abandon it with its skeptical protocols is the pathway to a dark age." -Carl Sagan "They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance."-Terry Pratchett

15th December 2009, 06:30 PM	#15
Gawdzilla Sama 121.92-meter mutant fire-breathing lizard-thingy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northern St. Louis County, Missouri. Posts: 42,180	Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer The 900 foot tall Jesus came to take him home. That was Mecha-Streisand.
	__________________ Guns that are instantly available for use are instantly available for misuse. World War II Diplomatic and Political Resources Hyperwar, WWII Military History Buying conspiracy books is a voluntary tax on stupid.

15th December 2009, 07:19 PM	#16
Tricky Briefly immortal Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Group W Bench Posts: 44,381	I once bought one of his albums, but I couldn't play it because the hole healed up.

15th December 2009, 07:40 PM	#17
Questioninggeller Illuminator Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 3,048	If anyone cares to remember Oral Roberts' activities, Randi's The Faith Healers has a chapter detailing Roberts' "miracles" / faith healing. Also Ozzy Osbourne donated a dollar to Roberts' ministry so Roberts could get the professional help he needed.
	Last edited by Questioninggeller; 15th December 2009 at 07:42 PM.

15th December 2009, 08:15 PM	#18
Hux Graduate Poster Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,092	So thats Falwell, now Roberts. Who will be next, Robertson? They have all missed the rapture.
Hux Graduate Poster Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,092	__________________ Drinking alcohol never solves anything. But neither does drinking milk.

15th December 2009, 08:39 PM	#19
The Central Scrutinizer Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 53,052	I can see the headline in tomorrow mornings paper: "Jesus Receives Oral"
	__________________ If I see somebody with a gun on a plane? I'll kill him. Lupus is Lupus tor central scrutineezer

15th December 2009, 08:44 PM	#20
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ngunnawal Country Posts: 71,096	Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer I can see the headline in tomorrow mornings paper: "Jesus Receives Oral" I am extremely uncomfortable about celebrating, laughing, or being in any way happy at the death of another human being. But I just couldn't help myself and giggled.
	__________________ We will meet them on the beach, we will meet them on the phone hook-ups. - Scott Morrison, probably

15th December 2009, 09:45 PM	#21
hgc Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 15,892	Has anyone seen Hitchens on the cable-waves? It's in these situations that he really shines.

15th December 2009, 09:50 PM	#22
tsig a carbon based life-form Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 39,049	Originally Posted by Marduk who is oral roberts ? sounds kinky He certainly sucked his followers dry.

15th December 2009, 09:53 PM	#23
nescafe Caffeinated Beverage Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 862	Originally Posted by Cainkane1 I always perceived this man to be a charlatan. The people who he was supposed to be healing weren't visibly ill. No amputated limbs ever appeared and no hunchbacks ever had their spine straighted out. No blind people could see no deaf could really hear. He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him. After the morgue enema he will probably fit in the matchbox with Falwell.

15th December 2009, 09:57 PM	#24
tsig a carbon based life-form Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 39,049	Originally Posted by Pure_Argent While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous. Oral went to meet his god and be happy with him in heaven. He left behind a multimillion dollar enterprise spewing hate and intolerance. By their fruits shall ye know them.

15th December 2009, 10:05 PM	#25
tsig a carbon based life-form Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 39,049	Originally Posted by paximperium While I do hope his "university" collapses into ruin and his crap based beliefs die with him, his family and friends do miss him. Evidence? His friends now have control over the money and his family is free of his domineering presence and he gets to be happy with god. Looks like win, win and win for the living.

15th December 2009, 10:13 PM	#26
Achán hiNidráne Illuminator Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,974	WOOOO HOO! I need the funeral date, a plane ticket, the location of his grave, and a Big Gulp... no, make that SEVERAL Big Gulps. Ding dong Fellatio Roberts is DEAD!
	__________________ "As the Corpse Lord knows, men today are ill-trained--ignoble: naught but wet anuses dribbling childish terrors and superstitions! Thus is knowledge--history, science, the world of the ancients--lost, never to be regained!" --M.A.R. Barker, "The Man of Gold" Last edited by Achán hiNidráne; 15th December 2009 at 10:15 PM.

15th December 2009, 10:20 PM	#27
tsig a carbon based life-form Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 39,049	Originally Posted by Hux So thats Falwell, now Roberts. Who will be next, Robertson? They have all missed the rapture. Ask their secretaries about that.

15th December 2009, 10:57 PM	#28
billw Muse Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 503	Originally Posted by shemp I would love to see him return as a zombie. A fast zombie, or a slow zombie?
billw Muse Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 503	__________________ I may be going to hell in a bucket But at least I'm enjoying the ride. -- John Perry Barlow

15th December 2009, 10:58 PM	#29
KodeBlue Scholar Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 78	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE4icQMfMhc
KodeBlue Scholar Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 78

16th December 2009, 12:53 AM	#30
Bob Blaylock Forklift Operator Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: N38°35' W121°29' Posts: 3,005	Originally Posted by Ysidro American televangelist. In '87 he claimed if he did raise $8mil God would call him home. I have to confess that I tried to murder Mr. Roberts, by maliciously, declining to send him any money.

16th December 2009, 02:30 AM	#31
Cactus Wren Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 895	Originally Posted by Bob Blaylock I have to confess that I tried to murder Mr. Roberts, by maliciously, declining to send him any money. My housemate says that she lost a friend by saying at that time, "Great -- now is our chance to actually find out whether there's a God!"
Cactus Wren Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 895

16th December 2009, 06:23 AM	#32
Brown Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 12,984	Originally Posted by Cainkane1 He contributed nothing of value to society and hopefully nobody really misses him. It is a harsh thing to say, but in my view, to say that the man the man "contributed nothing of value to society" is to be kind to him. In my view, he was a parasite and a destroyer, not a contributor. He was a huckster, a con artist who deserved to go to the pokey, and the principal reason that he did not was that he committed his sins in the name of religion. Although there is no shortage of miscreants lining up to fleece the faithful now that Oral is gone, make no mistake: the world is better off without him. Amen.
	__________________ Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it. Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I am very sorry. I wish it were otherwise. -- The Day The Earth Stood Still, screenplay by Edmund H. North "Don't you get me wrong. I only want to know." -- Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar, lyrics by Tim Rice

16th December 2009, 08:44 AM	#33
Beerina Sarcastic Conqueror of Notions Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 30,424	Originally Posted by Pure_Argent While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous. Compared to what? I wonder if anybody died because of a faith heal (did he do those?) or because they relied on prayer.
	__________________ "Great innovations should not be forced [by way of] slender majorities." - Thomas Jefferson The government should nationalize it! Socialized, single-payer video game development and sales *now!* More, cheaper, better games, right? Right?

16th December 2009, 09:37 AM	#35
Tricky Briefly immortal Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Group W Bench Posts: 44,381	Originally Posted by Cactus Wren My housemate says that she lost a friend by saying at that time, "Great -- now is our chance to actually find out whether there's a God!" Doonesbury actually did a few strips on this when it happened. It was just news coming from the TV, but the newscasters were talking about "God becoming a terrorist". After all, He was taking a hostage and demanding cash or he'd kill the hostage. It was very funny.

16th December 2009, 10:11 AM	#38
ravdin Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,985	Originally Posted by Pure_Argent While I don't like Roberts, I have to say that this strikes me as overly callous. What strikes me as overly callous is pretending to have magical healing powers and lying to desperate people to rip them off.
ravdin Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,985	__________________ Take the risk of thinking for yourself. Much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way. -Christopher Hitchens Believe what you're told. There would be chaos if everyone thought for themselves. -Top Dog slogan