Chinese Spy Balloon conspiracies in 3...2...1...

Mike! · 4th February 2023, 10:51 AM

Might as well get this thread started,it's only a matter of time, before there's more...

Did something go 'boom' as the balloon flew over Montana?
At least one person thinks so.

https://www.newsweek.com/video-alleg...racies-1778938

Trebuchet · 4th February 2023, 11:21 AM

Hunter Biden is steering it.

michael44 · 4th February 2023, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by Trebuchet

Hunter Biden is steering it.

Along with Hillary Clinton as his co-pilot.

ZiprHead · 4th February 2023, 01:50 PM

Axxman300 · 4th February 2023, 01:57 PM

They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.

What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?

theprestige · 4th February 2023, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by Axxman300

They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.

It's also dropped bombs in the Syrian conflict, qualifying it for the GWOT.

And it's conducted several intercept/deterrence flights, qualifying it for the Cold War.

Quote:

What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?: D

The real question is what did it know about Epstein.

Foster Zygote · 4th February 2023, 02:09 PM

The Chinese angle is a red herring. It's actually a NASA "satellite" that failed to fix itself to the crystal dome because an engineer forgot to lick the suction cup prior to launch.

alfaniner · 4th February 2023, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by Axxman300

They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.

What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?

Not sure if the pilot in that F-22 is going to be able to live down that "kill" graphic.

theprestige · 4th February 2023, 04:18 PM

I'm looking forward to seeing the actual kill graphic in the Have Glass colorway (or the F-22 equivalent) .

And no, I don't think he'll ever live it down.

Axxman300 · 4th February 2023, 04:50 PM

The pearl-clutching by the GOP over this event is ridiculous. If you think about it, the USAF said the balloon was not a threat to safety (due to altitude) or national security. This implies they're familiar with the technology these balloons carry...just as the Chinese are familiar with the various technologies used by NOAA, NASA, and various university high-altitude balloons.

I guess we could ask what they can learn from a balloon testbed that they can't get from satellites, or any of the dozens of opensource data outlets.

Jack by the hedge · 4th February 2023, 04:54 PM

The wreckage, when recovered, turns out to be alien, and China was only claiming it because that seemed to be a way to irritate the Americans so why not?

So now, whatever next year's must-have gadget turns out to be, it'll use reverse engineered alien tech from the balloon craft. Even if all it does is make smoothies.

Axxman300 · 4th February 2023, 07:13 PM

I, for one, welcome Alien Smoothies.

MBDK · 4th February 2023, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by Axxman300

I guess we could ask what they can learn from a balloon testbed that they can't get from satellites, or any of the dozens of opensource data outlets.

Well, for one, they learned a little about detection and response capabilities/procedures when our airspace is breached.

Axxman300 · 4th February 2023, 09:48 PM

Originally Posted by MBDK

Well, for one, they learned a little about detection and response capabilities/procedures when our airspace is breached.

That's already public knowledge. Since 9/11/2001 there have been multiple instances where fighters were scrambled to intercept wayward civilian aircraft. DoD said there were three other balloons tracked over the past two years or so. The fact that the USAF didn't flip out about them suggests they already know what the Chinese are doing, and could already be familiar with the equipment.

A fair question to ask is why a balloon? What kind of data can they collect from a high altitude balloon that they can't get from their agents on the ground, satellites, electronic surveillance, and open source? If it's purely science, why the secrecy?

MBDK · 4th February 2023, 10:19 PM

Originally Posted by Axxman300

That's already public knowledge. Since 9/11/2001 there have been multiple instances where fighters were scrambled to intercept wayward civilian aircraft. DoD said there were three other balloons tracked over the past two years or so. The fact that the USAF didn't flip out about them suggests they already know what the Chinese are doing, and could already be familiar with the equipment.

A fair question to ask is why a balloon? What kind of data can they collect from a high altitude balloon that they can't get from their agents on the ground, satellites, electronic surveillance, and open source? If it's purely science, why the secrecy?

This is exactly my wonder. Should there ever be a nefarious reason for them to enter our airspace with a similar, but weaponized balloon, this complacency could be a potential weakness. I'm not claiming that is the actual intent, just a possibility. My original comment was really a little bit tongue-in-cheek.

Norman Alexander · 5th February 2023, 12:51 AM

Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go

MBDK · 5th February 2023, 01:24 AM

Originally Posted by Norman Alexander

Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go

Oh yeah! Just another case of history repeating...(?) Put Pearl Harbor on red alert!

P.S. "red" alert ... get it????

The Great Zaganza · 5th February 2023, 01:32 AM

the balloon was filled with fentanyl, and now everyone in the US will die.

Norman Alexander · 5th February 2023, 05:25 AM

It was a Huawei 5G tower in the sky!

Stout · 5th February 2023, 08:38 AM

The "equipment" suspended below the balloon was of extraterrestrial origin, possibly a spy probe keeping an eye on the Earth in order to let the aliens know exactly the right time to invade. The probe was impacted by a piece of space junk causing it's protective airbag to deploy, which malfunctioned and didn't deflate and detach as it was supposed to. The balloon remained in low Earth orbit for weeks and eventually entered the atmosphere and came within reach of the US military who made a deal with China to admit "owning" the balloon in order to avert a TikTok ban because the Chines are simply nuts about watching Americans humiliate themselves doing the Tortilla Slap Challenge.

The recovered alien technology will be added to that already stored at area 51 and will, hopefully, lead to the development of faster than light travel and allow The US to an interstellar space force to combat the predicted invasion and thereby save the world.

jadebox · 5th February 2023, 09:33 AM

Are we making up our own conspiracy theories. If so, it was really a Chinese weather balloon that went off course, but the Russians fed the US false intel to make the US think it was spying so that the US would shoot it down causing a kerfuffle between the US and China taking attention away from what Russia us doing in Ukraine.

Edit: Or it could have been aliens.

Stout · 5th February 2023, 04:07 PM

Well I just put that one up on Twitbook so if it shows up on your feed, remember, you read it here first.

Thermal · 5th February 2023, 04:28 PM

They were making us all look up so they could tie our shoelaces together. Classic China.

Axxman300 · 5th February 2023, 05:21 PM

Obviously China sent two balloons carrying equipment which can alter the space-time continuum. Destroying one has foiled their plans learn who wins the upcoming Super Bowl, and then bet huge in Las Vegas to right their economy.

Stout · 5th February 2023, 07:29 PM

This just in. an object with balloon characteristics was spotted in Colombian airspace. Unlike those MAGA fueled Americans, the Colombians didn't assume the "balloons" identity and let it pass and continue along it's way peacefully.

Whispers within the Colmbian airforce suggest this is actually a giant paper airplane in balloon drag however they refuse to officially announce what it is until it broadcasts it's preferred pronouns.

Object with balloon ‘characteristics’ flew over Colombia, air force confirms

dudalb · 6th February 2023, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by Axxman300

They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.

What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?

Frank Luke lives!

dudalb · 6th February 2023, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Norman Alexander

Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go

That has been brough up a lot in discussions of the CHinese Balloon.

Norman Alexander · 6th February 2023, 03:28 PM

Aliens. Definitely aliens.

YouTube Video This video is not hosted by the ISF. The ISF can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website.

I AGREE

Axxman300 · 10th February 2023, 04:34 PM

Shot down another "Balloon" in Alaska. The Pentagon won't identify it as a balloon...which obviously means they've shot down an alien spacecraft.

Wake up, sheeple. The balloon thing is a misdirect to disguise an pending alien invasion...or something...

MBDK · 10th February 2023, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by Axxman300

Wake up, sheeple. The balloon thing is a misdirect to disguise an pending alien invasion...or something...

Yes! A HUGE misdirect! My cats have reliable information that the aliens have a secret wormhole that exits 1000 feet underneath the Mojave Desert. From there, while our gazes are fixated on the sky, they will emerge from below to become our overlords.

Oddly enough, my cats related this to me after a catnip binge during a viewing of "Tremors".

gabeygoat · 10th February 2023, 10:50 PM

AeroOctopus invasion averted

4th February 2023, 10:51 AM	#1
Mike! Official Ponylandistanian National Treasure. Respect it! Join Date: May 2010 Location: Ponylandistan! Where the bacon grows on trees! Can it get any better than that? I submit it can not! Posts: 49,424	Chinese "Spy" Balloon conspiracies in 3...2...1... Might as well get this thread started,it's only a matter of time, before there's more... Did something go 'boom' as the balloon flew over Montana? At least one person thinks so. https://www.newsweek.com/video-alleg...racies-1778938
	__________________ "Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes... Because then it won't really matter, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes." Last edited by Mike!; 4th February 2023 at 11:12 AM.

4th February 2023, 11:21 AM	#2
Trebuchet Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Port Townsend, Washington Posts: 36,003	Hunter Biden is steering it.
	__________________ Cum catapultae proscribeantur tum soli proscripti catapultas habeant.

4th February 2023, 01:50 PM	#4
ZiprHead Muse Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Sag-Nasty Posts: 904
	__________________ When conservatives realize they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism. They will abandon democracy. IIDB is back, baby!

4th February 2023, 01:57 PM	#5
Axxman300 Philosopher Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Central California Coast Posts: 6,550	They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI. What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?
	__________________ Disingenuous Piranha

4th February 2023, 02:01 PM	#6
theprestige Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The Antimemetics Division Posts: 63,559	Originally Posted by Axxman300 They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI. It's also dropped bombs in the Syrian conflict, qualifying it for the GWOT. And it's conducted several intercept/deterrence flights, qualifying it for the Cold War. Quote: What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?: D The real question is what did it know about Epstein.
	__________________ There is no Antimemetics Division. Last edited by theprestige; 4th February 2023 at 02:07 PM.

4th February 2023, 11:28 AM	#3
michael44 Critical Thinker Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Blasphemy St. Posts: 409	Originally Posted by Trebuchet Hunter Biden is steering it. Along with Hillary Clinton as his co-pilot.

4th February 2023, 02:09 PM	#7
Foster Zygote Dental Floss Tycoon Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 20,510	The Chinese angle is a red herring. It's actually a NASA "satellite" that failed to fix itself to the crystal dome because an engineer forgot to lick the suction cup prior to launch.
	__________________ Counterbalance in the little town of Ridgeview, Ohio. Two people permanently enslaved by the tyranny of fear and superstitution, facing the future with a kind of helpless dread. Two others facing the future with confidence - having escaped one of the darker places of the Twilight Zone.

4th February 2023, 04:18 PM	#9
theprestige Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The Antimemetics Division Posts: 63,559	I'm looking forward to seeing the actual kill graphic in the Have Glass colorway (or the F-22 equivalent) . And no, I don't think he'll ever live it down.
	__________________ There is no Antimemetics Division.

4th February 2023, 04:50 PM	#10
Axxman300 Philosopher Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Central California Coast Posts: 6,550	The pearl-clutching by the GOP over this event is ridiculous. If you think about it, the USAF said the balloon was not a threat to safety (due to altitude) or national security. This implies they're familiar with the technology these balloons carry...just as the Chinese are familiar with the various technologies used by NOAA, NASA, and various university high-altitude balloons. I guess we could ask what they can learn from a balloon testbed that they can't get from satellites, or any of the dozens of opensource data outlets.
	__________________ Disingenuous Piranha

4th February 2023, 04:54 PM	#11
Jack by the hedge Safely Ignored Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 14,413	The wreckage, when recovered, turns out to be alien, and China was only claiming it because that seemed to be a way to irritate the Americans so why not? So now, whatever next year's must-have gadget turns out to be, it'll use reverse engineered alien tech from the balloon craft. Even if all it does is make smoothies.

4th February 2023, 07:13 PM	#12
Axxman300 Philosopher Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Central California Coast Posts: 6,550	I, for one, welcome Alien Smoothies.
	__________________ Disingenuous Piranha

4th February 2023, 08:55 PM	#13
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560	Originally Posted by Axxman300 I guess we could ask what they can learn from a balloon testbed that they can't get from satellites, or any of the dozens of opensource data outlets. Well, for one, they learned a little about detection and response capabilities/procedures when our airspace is breached.
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560	Last edited by MBDK; 4th February 2023 at 08:57 PM. Reason: Grammar usage to make the sentence more readable.

4th February 2023, 09:48 PM	#14
Axxman300 Philosopher Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Central California Coast Posts: 6,550	Originally Posted by MBDK Well, for one, they learned a little about detection and response capabilities/procedures when our airspace is breached. That's already public knowledge. Since 9/11/2001 there have been multiple instances where fighters were scrambled to intercept wayward civilian aircraft. DoD said there were three other balloons tracked over the past two years or so. The fact that the USAF didn't flip out about them suggests they already know what the Chinese are doing, and could already be familiar with the equipment. A fair question to ask is why a balloon? What kind of data can they collect from a high altitude balloon that they can't get from their agents on the ground, satellites, electronic surveillance, and open source? If it's purely science, why the secrecy?
	__________________ Disingenuous Piranha

4th February 2023, 10:19 PM	#15
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560	Originally Posted by Axxman300 That's already public knowledge. Since 9/11/2001 there have been multiple instances where fighters were scrambled to intercept wayward civilian aircraft. DoD said there were three other balloons tracked over the past two years or so. The fact that the USAF didn't flip out about them suggests they already know what the Chinese are doing, and could already be familiar with the equipment. A fair question to ask is why a balloon? What kind of data can they collect from a high altitude balloon that they can't get from their agents on the ground, satellites, electronic surveillance, and open source? If it's purely science, why the secrecy? This is exactly my wonder. Should there ever be a nefarious reason for them to enter our airspace with a similar, but weaponized balloon, this complacency could be a potential weakness. I'm not claiming that is the actual intent, just a possibility. My original comment was really a little bit tongue-in-cheek.
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560

5th February 2023, 12:51 AM	#16
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,250	Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

5th February 2023, 01:24 AM	#17
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560	Originally Posted by Norman Alexander Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go Oh yeah! Just another case of history repeating...(?) Put Pearl Harbor on red alert! P.S. "red" alert ... get it????
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560

5th February 2023, 01:32 AM	#18
The Great Zaganza Maledictorian Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 19,549	the balloon was filled with fentanyl, and now everyone in the US will die.
	__________________ "The only true paradise is paradise lost" Marcel Proust

5th February 2023, 05:25 AM	#19
Norman Alexander Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Dharug & Gundungurra Posts: 14,250	It was a Huawei 5G tower in the sky!
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

5th February 2023, 08:38 AM	#20
Stout Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 5,339	The "equipment" suspended below the balloon was of extraterrestrial origin, possibly a spy probe keeping an eye on the Earth in order to let the aliens know exactly the right time to invade. The probe was impacted by a piece of space junk causing it's protective airbag to deploy, which malfunctioned and didn't deflate and detach as it was supposed to. The balloon remained in low Earth orbit for weeks and eventually entered the atmosphere and came within reach of the US military who made a deal with China to admit "owning" the balloon in order to avert a TikTok ban because the Chines are simply nuts about watching Americans humiliate themselves doing the Tortilla Slap Challenge. The recovered alien technology will be added to that already stored at area 51 and will, hopefully, lead to the development of faster than light travel and allow The US to an interstellar space force to combat the predicted invasion and thereby save the world.
Stout Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 5,339

5th February 2023, 09:33 AM	#21
jadebox Master Poster Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: USA Posts: 2,442	Are we making up our own conspiracy theories. If so, it was really a Chinese weather balloon that went off course, but the Russians fed the US false intel to make the US think it was spying so that the US would shoot it down causing a kerfuffle between the US and China taking attention away from what Russia us doing in Ukraine. Edit: Or it could have been aliens.

5th February 2023, 04:07 PM	#22
Stout Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 5,339	Well I just put that one up on Twitbook so if it shows up on your feed, remember, you read it here first.
Stout Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 5,339

5th February 2023, 04:28 PM	#23
Thermal Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2016 Location: In the Troll Ignoring Section Posts: 21,908	They were making us all look up so they could tie our shoelaces together. Classic China.
	__________________ "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect" -Mark Twain "Half of what he said meant something else, and the other half didn't mean anything at all" -Rosencrantz, on Hamlet

5th February 2023, 05:21 PM	#24
Axxman300 Philosopher Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Central California Coast Posts: 6,550	Obviously China sent two balloons carrying equipment which can alter the space-time continuum. Destroying one has foiled their plans learn who wins the upcoming Super Bowl, and then bet huge in Las Vegas to right their economy.
	__________________ Disingenuous Piranha

5th February 2023, 07:29 PM	#25
Stout Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 5,339	This just in. an object with balloon characteristics was spotted in Colombian airspace. Unlike those MAGA fueled Americans, the Colombians didn't assume the "balloons" identity and let it pass and continue along it's way peacefully. Whispers within the Colmbian airforce suggest this is actually a giant paper airplane in balloon drag however they refuse to officially announce what it is until it broadcasts it's preferred pronouns. Object with balloon ‘characteristics’ flew over Colombia, air force confirms
Stout Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 5,339

6th February 2023, 03:24 PM	#26
dudalb Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Sacramento Posts: 57,808	Originally Posted by Axxman300 They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI. What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary? Frank Luke lives!
	__________________ Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty. Robert Heinlein.

6th February 2023, 03:25 PM	#27
dudalb Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Sacramento Posts: 57,808	Originally Posted by Norman Alexander Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go That has been brough up a lot in discussions of the CHinese Balloon.
	__________________ Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty. Robert Heinlein.

10th February 2023, 04:34 PM	#29
Axxman300 Philosopher Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Central California Coast Posts: 6,550	Shot down another "Balloon" in Alaska. The Pentagon won't identify it as a balloon...which obviously means they've shot down an alien spacecraft. Wake up, sheeple. The balloon thing is a misdirect to disguise an pending alien invasion...or something...
	__________________ Disingenuous Piranha

10th February 2023, 05:06 PM	#30
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560	Originally Posted by Axxman300 Wake up, sheeple. The balloon thing is a misdirect to disguise an pending alien invasion...or something... Yes! A HUGE misdirect! My cats have reliable information that the aliens have a secret wormhole that exits 1000 feet underneath the Mojave Desert. From there, while our gazes are fixated on the sky, they will emerge from below to become our overlords. Oddly enough, my cats related this to me after a catnip binge during a viewing of "Tremors".
MBDK Muse Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 560

10th February 2023, 10:50 PM	#31
gabeygoat Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Hard Corvallis Oregon Posts: 1,686	AeroOctopus invasion averted
	__________________ "May I interest you in some coconut milk?" ~Akhenaten Wallabe Esq