Red Heifer, End times are near?

LongFuzzy · 16th September 2018, 01:09 PM

"Jewish Group Says End Times Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled, Flawless 'Red Heifer' Could Signal the Third Temple"

https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2...e-third-temple

Apparently we have to wait 3 or 4 years before it can be sacrificed, and it cannot have any blemishes in that time.

"To meet requirements, the heifer must be born from a natural birth and be entirely red with no more than two non-red hairs on its body. It must also never have been used for any labor or have been impregnated."

"They will be inspecting the calf periodically to verify its condition."

So, just wait... 2021 or 2022.

(Mods, I didn't see an existing thread on this. If I missed it, please merge.)

Myles · 16th September 2018, 01:32 PM

Still gotta build that temple first, don’t they?

Nay_Sayer · 16th September 2018, 01:33 PM

This times it's the end for real...until the next time.

Thor 2 · 16th September 2018, 01:35 PM

Certified by a board of rabbis no less. Can't be any doubt about it then and get ready for the judgment by the messiah, which could be Jesus but perhaps not.

I wonder how these rabbis will handle the non-event after they perform their silly sacrifice? Maybe they will find a flaw previously overlooked on the poor beast.

Diablo · 16th September 2018, 01:41 PM

The usual rubbish, put out to impress the weak-minded.

Norman Alexander · 16th September 2018, 01:55 PM

Why wait so long? There's an orange heifer in the White House that already fulfills the requirements. So can they do the ceremony now?

Hungry81 · 16th September 2018, 02:04 PM

If the red cow single handedly builds the temple, (or even with the help of a bunch of other cows) with no human intervention, I may be impressed. Until then it's just a bunch of dangerous morons jerking off about their own particular apocalypse fantasy in public.

Trebuchet · 16th September 2018, 02:53 PM

CBN is Pat Robertson's outfit, BTW.

Skeptic Ginger · 16th September 2018, 03:24 PM

This is a rerun. I think they wait a few years and hope no one remembers the last red heifer event.

Skeptic Ginger · 16th September 2018, 03:26 PM

Originally Posted by Trebuchet

CBN is Pat Robertson's outfit, BTW.

Pat needs more money so he starts another scheme.

aleCcowaN · 16th September 2018, 04:11 PM

The red calf will make a nice barbecue. I'll be preparing some chimichurri and have some shaman energize it, just in case.

Loss Leader · 16th September 2018, 04:56 PM

As an actual Jewish person, I have to say that I've never heard of these people. Considering the fact that they imported frozen cow embryos to Israel for the express purpose of breeding a red heifer, they sound crazy.

TragicMonkey · 16th September 2018, 04:57 PM

And in the final moment of the final day, the red heifer shall speak unto the masses, and it shall utter unto them "eat mor chikin". Blessed be the LORD, and His waffle fries.

ServiceSoon · 16th September 2018, 06:17 PM

This will not fit into my schedule; I still haven't recovered from the last apocalypse/resurrection.

GT/CS · 16th September 2018, 09:32 PM

You mean to tell me the South Park episode was based on something lunatics actually believe?!!!

arthwollipot · 16th September 2018, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by Loss Leader

As an actual Jewish person, I have to say that I've never heard of these people. Considering the fact that they imported frozen cow embryos to Israel for the express purpose of breeding a red heifer, they sound crazy.

Ah yes, the old "the apocalypse isn't happening fast enough so we have to help it along" crowd.

Delightful. Worrying, if they had any hope of actually bringing about the apocalypse. Let's be grateful that they don't have access to nuclear weapons.

Loss Leader · 16th September 2018, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

Ah yes, the old "the apocalypse isn't happening fast enough so we have to help it along" crowd.

Delightful. Worrying, if they had any hope of actually bringing about the apocalypse. Let's be grateful that they don't have access to nuclear weapons.

I remember being very worried that George W. Bush was trying to engineer a war specifically to bring about the end of days.

Ah, memories.

The Great Zaganza · 16th September 2018, 09:54 PM

The Almighty needs all the help he can get.

aleCcowaN · 17th September 2018, 05:04 AM

Originally Posted by The Great Zaganza

The Almighty needs all the help he can get.

Aren't those red heifer breeders trying to use such Almighty entity as their Golem of Mass Destruction?

Crossbow · 20th September 2018, 07:52 AM

I am thinking of that one Star Trek movie where Kirk asked:

"Why does go need a starship?"

In this case however, Kirk would be asking:

"Why does god need a red cow?"

Trebuchet · 20th September 2018, 07:59 AM

To get humans in the MOOd?
To be udderly certain of the end times?
To horn in on short human attention spans?
Ok, I've probably milked that for all its worth.

Crossbow · 20th September 2018, 10:09 AM

By the way ...

Now I am thinking about one of those famous Greek myths where a young woman went to stroke golden bull, but the bull was actually Zeus, and she ended up getting stroked herself.

Maybe they are thinking of something similar in regards to this red bull.

The Great Zaganza · 20th September 2018, 10:36 AM

This is great news - up until now I had to make do with Kobe Beef.
From now on, I'll only have Red Heifer sirloin.

Hungry81 · 20th September 2018, 03:11 PM

This is the foretold time long prophesied, in which the great philospher prophet Bartholomew Simpson did utter unto the captivated masses "Don't have a cow man." These Rabbis would be wise to listen.

bytewizard · 20th September 2018, 03:23 PM

"Red Bull gives you wings" now makes sense.

Meadmaker · 20th September 2018, 04:06 PM

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_heifer

Quick summary: The Book of Numbers speaks of a red heifer. The Mishnah adds some commentary that you need a really perfect red heifer in order to have temple sacrifices.

Some modern Jews want to rebuild the temple, and think that a really perfect red heifer would signal that the temple ought to be rebuilt. I'm not sure how the Messiah fits into the picture, because the prophecy of the Messiah didn't have anything to do with rebuilding the temple. (I don't think. Did it? At any rate, it certainly didn't have anything to do with building it, then knocking it down, then building it again.)

Meanwhile, many Christians believe that the rebuilding of the temple would mark the end of days and the second coming of Jesus.

Ever since I gave up Christianity, I've found it very odd that Christians think that the signal for Jesus to return would be some actions by a bunch of people who don't believe in Jesus.

Trebuchet · 20th September 2018, 04:23 PM

So to rebuild the temple, are they going to tear down the Dome of the Rock? The resulting war would make certain Christians very happy as a cataclysmic war is needed to bring on the end times. Armageddon FTW!

I'll have the veal.

Meadmaker · 20th September 2018, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Trebuchet

So to rebuild the temple, are they going to tear down the Dome of the Rock? The resulting war would make certain Christians very happy as a cataclysmic war is needed to bring on the end times. Armageddon FTW!

I'll have the veal.

Most Jews don't want to rebuild the temple. A lot of rules in the Torah only apply if there happens to be a temple in existence, and a huge amount of rules from modern Judaism has grown up around synagogues. Throw a temple into the mix and suddenly no one would know what the rules are anymore. It would be a big pain in the neck.

Hopefully, it will never happen. However, religion is weird. Who knows what movements will get started, and how they will develop. If some popular nutty preacher gets a bunch of people to follow him, maybe someone will say that it's about time to get the infidels' building off of the holy of holies, and rebuild the temple.....because cows.

Trebuchet · 20th September 2018, 05:00 PM

Of course, I understand that. It's fringe Jews and fringe Christians. That latter of whom have a disproportionate amount of influence in the USA just now.

aleCcowaN · 20th September 2018, 05:14 PM

Very interesting but, when is the barbecue?

We must put that red heifer to good use.

Lukraak_Sisser · 20th September 2018, 10:02 PM

What do Jews get out of end of times?

IIRC the whole heaven and eternal reward thing afterwards are a christian addition right?

LongFuzzy · 20th September 2018, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by aleCcowaN

Very interesting but, when is the barbecue?

We must put that red heifer to good use.

I could be wrong, but I think the cow get cremated. And it's ashes get spread around the site. I know, big waste of good meat.

16th September 2018, 01:09 PM	#1
LongFuzzy Thinker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 202	Red Heifer, End times are near? "Jewish Group Says End Times Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled, Flawless 'Red Heifer' Could Signal the Third Temple" https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2...e-third-temple Apparently we have to wait 3 or 4 years before it can be sacrificed, and it cannot have any blemishes in that time. "To meet requirements, the heifer must be born from a natural birth and be entirely red with no more than two non-red hairs on its body. It must also never have been used for any labor or have been impregnated." "They will be inspecting the calf periodically to verify its condition." So, just wait... 2021 or 2022. (Mods, I didn't see an existing thread on this. If I missed it, please merge.)
LongFuzzy Thinker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 202

16th September 2018, 01:32 PM	#2
Myles Student Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 37	Still gotta build that temple first, don’t they?
Myles Student Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 37

16th September 2018, 01:33 PM	#3
Nay_Sayer I say nay! Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Long Island Posts: 3,551	This times it's the end for real...until the next time.
	__________________ I am 100% confident all psychics and mediums are frauds. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "01010100 00110100 01110110 01101101 00110111 01100111 01010010 00110110 00001101 00001010" Said the robot gleefully as he went on his rampage.

16th September 2018, 01:35 PM	#4
Thor 2 Illuminator Join Date: May 2016 Location: Brisbane, Aust. Posts: 3,966	Certified by a board of rabbis no less. Can't be any doubt about it then and get ready for the judgment by the messiah, which could be Jesus but perhaps not. I wonder how these rabbis will handle the non-event after they perform their silly sacrifice? Maybe they will find a flaw previously overlooked on the poor beast.
	__________________ Thinking is a faith hazard.

16th September 2018, 01:41 PM	#5
Diablo Critical Thinker Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 448	The usual rubbish, put out to impress the weak-minded.
Diablo Critical Thinker Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 448

16th September 2018, 01:55 PM	#6
Norman Alexander Illuminator Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 3,054	Why wait so long? There's an orange heifer in the White House that already fulfills the requirements. So can they do the ceremony now?
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

16th September 2018, 02:04 PM	#7
Hungry81 Graduate Poster Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 1,853	If the red cow single handedly builds the temple, (or even with the help of a bunch of other cows) with no human intervention, I may be impressed. Until then it's just a bunch of dangerous morons jerking off about their own particular apocalypse fantasy in public.

16th September 2018, 02:53 PM	#8
Trebuchet Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwet Posts: 18,531	CBN is Pat Robertson's outfit, BTW.
	__________________ Cum catapultae proscribeantur tum soli proscripti catapultas habeant.

16th September 2018, 03:24 PM	#9
Skeptic Ginger Nasty Woman Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 69,530	This is a rerun. I think they wait a few years and hope no one remembers the last red heifer event.
	__________________ Restore checks and balances no matter your party affiliation.

16th September 2018, 03:26 PM	#10
Skeptic Ginger Nasty Woman Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 69,530	Originally Posted by Trebuchet CBN is Pat Robertson's outfit, BTW. Pat needs more money so he starts another scheme.
	__________________ Restore checks and balances no matter your party affiliation.

16th September 2018, 04:11 PM	#11
aleCcowaN imperfecto del subjuntivo Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: stranded at Buenos Aires, a city that, like NYC or Paris, has so little to offer... Posts: 9,383	The red calf will make a nice barbecue. I'll be preparing some chimichurri and have some shaman energize it, just in case.
	__________________ Horrible dipsomaniacs and other addicts, be gone and get treated, or covfefe your soul!These fora are full of scientists and specialists. Most of them turn back to pumpkins the second they log out. I got tired of the actual schizophrenics that are taking hold part of the forum and decided to do something about it.

16th September 2018, 04:56 PM	#12
Loss Leader I would save the receptionist. Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 25,797	As an actual Jewish person, I have to say that I've never heard of these people. Considering the fact that they imported frozen cow embryos to Israel for the express purpose of breeding a red heifer, they sound crazy.
	__________________ I have the honor to be Your Obdt. S^t L. Leader

16th September 2018, 04:57 PM	#13
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles PITH Winner Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 46,058	And in the final moment of the final day, the red heifer shall speak unto the masses, and it shall utter unto them "eat mor chikin". Blessed be the LORD, and His waffle fries.
	__________________ One cannot expect wisdom to flow from a pumpkin.

16th September 2018, 06:17 PM	#14
ServiceSoon Graduate Poster Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 1,376	This will not fit into my schedule; I still haven't recovered from the last apocalypse/resurrection.

16th September 2018, 09:32 PM	#15
GT/CS Illuminator Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Inland NW Posts: 4,900	You mean to tell me the South Park episode was based on something lunatics actually believe?!!!
	__________________ Normal in a weird way.

16th September 2018, 09:38 PM	#16
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 58,724	Originally Posted by Loss Leader As an actual Jewish person, I have to say that I've never heard of these people. Considering the fact that they imported frozen cow embryos to Israel for the express purpose of breeding a red heifer, they sound crazy. Ah yes, the old "the apocalypse isn't happening fast enough so we have to help it along" crowd. Delightful. Worrying, if they had any hope of actually bringing about the apocalypse. Let's be grateful that they don't have access to nuclear weapons.
	__________________ Wake up, you cardboard. - Pixie of Key

16th September 2018, 09:41 PM	#17
Loss Leader I would save the receptionist. Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 25,797	Originally Posted by arthwollipot Ah yes, the old "the apocalypse isn't happening fast enough so we have to help it along" crowd. Delightful. Worrying, if they had any hope of actually bringing about the apocalypse. Let's be grateful that they don't have access to nuclear weapons. I remember being very worried that George W. Bush was trying to engineer a war specifically to bring about the end of days. Ah, memories.
	__________________ I have the honor to be Your Obdt. S^t L. Leader

16th September 2018, 09:54 PM	#18
The Great Zaganza Philosopher Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 5,422	The Almighty needs all the help he can get.
	__________________ Opinion is divided on the subject. All the others say it is; I say it isn’t.

17th September 2018, 05:04 AM	#19
aleCcowaN imperfecto del subjuntivo Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: stranded at Buenos Aires, a city that, like NYC or Paris, has so little to offer... Posts: 9,383	Originally Posted by The Great Zaganza The Almighty needs all the help he can get. Aren't those red heifer breeders trying to use such Almighty entity as their Golem of Mass Destruction?
	__________________ Horrible dipsomaniacs and other addicts, be gone and get treated, or covfefe your soul!These fora are full of scientists and specialists. Most of them turn back to pumpkins the second they log out. I got tired of the actual schizophrenics that are taking hold part of the forum and decided to do something about it.

20th September 2018, 07:52 AM	#20
Crossbow Seeking Honesty and Sanity Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Charleston, WV Posts: 12,068	I am thinking of that one Star Trek movie where Kirk asked: "Why does go need a starship?" In this case however, Kirk would be asking: "Why does god need a red cow?"
	__________________ On 28 JUN 2018 'yuno44907' said: "I am god and you have to help me." On 03 JUL 2018 'yuno44907' got banned from the Forum. A man's best friend is his dogma.

20th September 2018, 07:59 AM	#21
Trebuchet Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwet Posts: 18,531	To get humans in the MOOd? To be udderly certain of the end times? To horn in on short human attention spans? Ok, I've probably milked that for all its worth.
	__________________ Cum catapultae proscribeantur tum soli proscripti catapultas habeant.

20th September 2018, 10:09 AM	#22
Crossbow Seeking Honesty and Sanity Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Charleston, WV Posts: 12,068	By the way ... Now I am thinking about one of those famous Greek myths where a young woman went to stroke golden bull, but the bull was actually Zeus, and she ended up getting stroked herself. Maybe they are thinking of something similar in regards to this red bull.
	__________________ On 28 JUN 2018 'yuno44907' said: "I am god and you have to help me." On 03 JUL 2018 'yuno44907' got banned from the Forum. A man's best friend is his dogma.

20th September 2018, 10:36 AM	#23
The Great Zaganza Philosopher Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 5,422	This is great news - up until now I had to make do with Kobe Beef. From now on, I'll only have Red Heifer sirloin.
	__________________ Opinion is divided on the subject. All the others say it is; I say it isn’t.

20th September 2018, 03:11 PM	#24
Hungry81 Graduate Poster Join Date: Nov 2012 Posts: 1,853	This is the foretold time long prophesied, in which the great philospher prophet Bartholomew Simpson did utter unto the captivated masses "Don't have a cow man." These Rabbis would be wise to listen.

20th September 2018, 03:23 PM	#25
bytewizard Graduate Poster Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: In the woods Posts: 1,887	"Red Bull gives you wings" now makes sense.

20th September 2018, 04:06 PM	#26
Meadmaker Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 18,310	https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_heifer Quick summary: The Book of Numbers speaks of a red heifer. The Mishnah adds some commentary that you need a really perfect red heifer in order to have temple sacrifices. Some modern Jews want to rebuild the temple, and think that a really perfect red heifer would signal that the temple ought to be rebuilt. I'm not sure how the Messiah fits into the picture, because the prophecy of the Messiah didn't have anything to do with rebuilding the temple. (I don't think. Did it? At any rate, it certainly didn't have anything to do with building it, then knocking it down, then building it again.) Meanwhile, many Christians believe that the rebuilding of the temple would mark the end of days and the second coming of Jesus. Ever since I gave up Christianity, I've found it very odd that Christians think that the signal for Jesus to return would be some actions by a bunch of people who don't believe in Jesus.

20th September 2018, 04:23 PM	#27
Trebuchet Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwet Posts: 18,531	So to rebuild the temple, are they going to tear down the Dome of the Rock? The resulting war would make certain Christians very happy as a cataclysmic war is needed to bring on the end times. Armageddon FTW! I'll have the veal.
	__________________ Cum catapultae proscribeantur tum soli proscripti catapultas habeant.

20th September 2018, 04:43 PM	#28
Meadmaker Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 18,310	Originally Posted by Trebuchet So to rebuild the temple, are they going to tear down the Dome of the Rock? The resulting war would make certain Christians very happy as a cataclysmic war is needed to bring on the end times. Armageddon FTW! I'll have the veal. Most Jews don't want to rebuild the temple. A lot of rules in the Torah only apply if there happens to be a temple in existence, and a huge amount of rules from modern Judaism has grown up around synagogues. Throw a temple into the mix and suddenly no one would know what the rules are anymore. It would be a big pain in the neck. Hopefully, it will never happen. However, religion is weird. Who knows what movements will get started, and how they will develop. If some popular nutty preacher gets a bunch of people to follow him, maybe someone will say that it's about time to get the infidels' building off of the holy of holies, and rebuild the temple.....because cows.

20th September 2018, 05:00 PM	#29
Trebuchet Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwet Posts: 18,531	Of course, I understand that. It's fringe Jews and fringe Christians. That latter of whom have a disproportionate amount of influence in the USA just now.
	__________________ Cum catapultae proscribeantur tum soli proscripti catapultas habeant.

20th September 2018, 05:14 PM	#30
aleCcowaN imperfecto del subjuntivo Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: stranded at Buenos Aires, a city that, like NYC or Paris, has so little to offer... Posts: 9,383	Very interesting but, when is the barbecue? We must put that red heifer to good use.
	__________________ Horrible dipsomaniacs and other addicts, be gone and get treated, or covfefe your soul!These fora are full of scientists and specialists. Most of them turn back to pumpkins the second they log out. I got tired of the actual schizophrenics that are taking hold part of the forum and decided to do something about it.

20th September 2018, 10:02 PM	#31
Lukraak_Sisser Illuminator Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 3,188	What do Jews get out of end of times? IIRC the whole heaven and eternal reward thing afterwards are a christian addition right?

20th September 2018, 10:40 PM	#32
LongFuzzy Thinker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 202	Originally Posted by aleCcowaN Very interesting but, when is the barbecue? We must put that red heifer to good use. I could be wrong, but I think the cow get cremated. And it's ashes get spread around the site. I know, big waste of good meat.
LongFuzzy Thinker Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 202