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Tags end times , heifer , red

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Old 16th September 2018, 01:09 PM   #1
LongFuzzy
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Red Heifer, End times are near?

"Jewish Group Says End Times Biblical Prophecy Fulfilled, Flawless 'Red Heifer' Could Signal the Third Temple"

https://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2...e-third-temple

Apparently we have to wait 3 or 4 years before it can be sacrificed, and it cannot have any blemishes in that time.

"To meet requirements, the heifer must be born from a natural birth and be entirely red with no more than two non-red hairs on its body. It must also never have been used for any labor or have been impregnated."

"They will be inspecting the calf periodically to verify its condition."


So, just wait... 2021 or 2022.

(Mods, I didn't see an existing thread on this. If I missed it, please merge.)
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Old 16th September 2018, 01:32 PM   #2
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Still gotta build that temple first, don’t they?
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Old 16th September 2018, 01:33 PM   #3
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This times it's the end for real...until the next time.
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Old 16th September 2018, 01:35 PM   #4
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Certified by a board of rabbis no less. Can't be any doubt about it then and get ready for the judgment by the messiah, which could be Jesus but perhaps not.

I wonder how these rabbis will handle the non-event after they perform their silly sacrifice? Maybe they will find a flaw previously overlooked on the poor beast.
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Old 16th September 2018, 01:41 PM   #5
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The usual rubbish, put out to impress the weak-minded.
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Old 16th September 2018, 01:55 PM   #6
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Why wait so long? There's an orange heifer in the White House that already fulfills the requirements. So can they do the ceremony now?
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Old 16th September 2018, 02:04 PM   #7
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If the red cow single handedly builds the temple, (or even with the help of a bunch of other cows) with no human intervention, I may be impressed. Until then it's just a bunch of dangerous morons jerking off about their own particular apocalypse fantasy in public.
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Old 16th September 2018, 02:53 PM   #8
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CBN is Pat Robertson's outfit, BTW.
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Old 16th September 2018, 03:24 PM   #9
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This is a rerun. I think they wait a few years and hope no one remembers the last red heifer event.
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Old 16th September 2018, 03:26 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
CBN is Pat Robertson's outfit, BTW.
Pat needs more money so he starts another scheme.
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Old 16th September 2018, 04:11 PM   #11
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The red calf will make a nice barbecue. I'll be preparing some chimichurri and have some shaman energize it, just in case.
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Old 16th September 2018, 04:56 PM   #12
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As an actual Jewish person, I have to say that I've never heard of these people. Considering the fact that they imported frozen cow embryos to Israel for the express purpose of breeding a red heifer, they sound crazy.
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Old 16th September 2018, 04:57 PM   #13
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And in the final moment of the final day, the red heifer shall speak unto the masses, and it shall utter unto them "eat mor chikin". Blessed be the LORD, and His waffle fries.
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Old 16th September 2018, 06:17 PM   #14
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This will not fit into my schedule; I still haven't recovered from the last apocalypse/resurrection.
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Old 16th September 2018, 09:32 PM   #15
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You mean to tell me the South Park episode was based on something lunatics actually believe?!!!
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Old 16th September 2018, 09:38 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Loss Leader View Post
As an actual Jewish person, I have to say that I've never heard of these people. Considering the fact that they imported frozen cow embryos to Israel for the express purpose of breeding a red heifer, they sound crazy.
Ah yes, the old "the apocalypse isn't happening fast enough so we have to help it along" crowd.

Delightful. Worrying, if they had any hope of actually bringing about the apocalypse. Let's be grateful that they don't have access to nuclear weapons.
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Old 16th September 2018, 09:41 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
Ah yes, the old "the apocalypse isn't happening fast enough so we have to help it along" crowd.

Delightful. Worrying, if they had any hope of actually bringing about the apocalypse. Let's be grateful that they don't have access to nuclear weapons.

I remember being very worried that George W. Bush was trying to engineer a war specifically to bring about the end of days.

Ah, memories.
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Old 16th September 2018, 09:54 PM   #18
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The Almighty needs all the help he can get.
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Old 17th September 2018, 05:04 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by The Great Zaganza View Post
The Almighty needs all the help he can get.

Aren't those red heifer breeders trying to use such Almighty entity as their Golem of Mass Destruction?
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Old 20th September 2018, 07:52 AM   #20
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I am thinking of that one Star Trek movie where Kirk asked:

"Why does go need a starship?"

In this case however, Kirk would be asking:

"Why does god need a red cow?"
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Old 20th September 2018, 07:59 AM   #21
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To get humans in the MOOd?
To be udderly certain of the end times?
To horn in on short human attention spans?
Ok, I've probably milked that for all its worth.
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Old 20th September 2018, 10:09 AM   #22
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By the way ...

Now I am thinking about one of those famous Greek myths where a young woman went to stroke golden bull, but the bull was actually Zeus, and she ended up getting stroked herself.

Maybe they are thinking of something similar in regards to this red bull.
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Old 20th September 2018, 10:36 AM   #23
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This is great news - up until now I had to make do with Kobe Beef.
From now on, I'll only have Red Heifer sirloin.
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Old 20th September 2018, 03:11 PM   #24
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This is the foretold time long prophesied, in which the great philospher prophet Bartholomew Simpson did utter unto the captivated masses "Don't have a cow man." These Rabbis would be wise to listen.
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Old 20th September 2018, 03:23 PM   #25
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"Red Bull gives you wings" now makes sense.
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Old 20th September 2018, 04:06 PM   #26
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_heifer

Quick summary: The Book of Numbers speaks of a red heifer. The Mishnah adds some commentary that you need a really perfect red heifer in order to have temple sacrifices.

Some modern Jews want to rebuild the temple, and think that a really perfect red heifer would signal that the temple ought to be rebuilt. I'm not sure how the Messiah fits into the picture, because the prophecy of the Messiah didn't have anything to do with rebuilding the temple. (I don't think. Did it? At any rate, it certainly didn't have anything to do with building it, then knocking it down, then building it again.)

Meanwhile, many Christians believe that the rebuilding of the temple would mark the end of days and the second coming of Jesus.


Ever since I gave up Christianity, I've found it very odd that Christians think that the signal for Jesus to return would be some actions by a bunch of people who don't believe in Jesus.
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Old 20th September 2018, 04:23 PM   #27
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So to rebuild the temple, are they going to tear down the Dome of the Rock? The resulting war would make certain Christians very happy as a cataclysmic war is needed to bring on the end times. Armageddon FTW!

I'll have the veal.
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Old 20th September 2018, 04:43 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
So to rebuild the temple, are they going to tear down the Dome of the Rock? The resulting war would make certain Christians very happy as a cataclysmic war is needed to bring on the end times. Armageddon FTW!

I'll have the veal.
Most Jews don't want to rebuild the temple. A lot of rules in the Torah only apply if there happens to be a temple in existence, and a huge amount of rules from modern Judaism has grown up around synagogues. Throw a temple into the mix and suddenly no one would know what the rules are anymore. It would be a big pain in the neck.

Hopefully, it will never happen. However, religion is weird. Who knows what movements will get started, and how they will develop. If some popular nutty preacher gets a bunch of people to follow him, maybe someone will say that it's about time to get the infidels' building off of the holy of holies, and rebuild the temple.....because cows.
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Old 20th September 2018, 05:00 PM   #29
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Of course, I understand that. It's fringe Jews and fringe Christians. That latter of whom have a disproportionate amount of influence in the USA just now.
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Old 20th September 2018, 05:14 PM   #30
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Very interesting but, when is the barbecue?


We must put that red heifer to good use.
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Old 20th September 2018, 10:02 PM   #31
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What do Jews get out of end of times?

IIRC the whole heaven and eternal reward thing afterwards are a christian addition right?
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Old 20th September 2018, 10:40 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by aleCcowaN View Post
Very interesting but, when is the barbecue?


We must put that red heifer to good use.
I could be wrong, but I think the cow get cremated. And it's ashes get spread around the site. I know, big waste of good meat.
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