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Tags LGBT issues , transgender incidents , transgender issues , transgenderism

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Old 30th November 2018, 07:48 AM   #81
LSSBB
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Originally Posted by Planigale View Post
I think that people have to accept that this is her lived experience. She is under no obligation to be positive about her life, body or experiences just to validate others.

Having been close at one time to someone who was transitioning I do recognise anxieties that my friend had.

1) That she mourned the girlhood she never had. She did have an interest in what it was like to grow up a girl. She wanted to vicariously share the experience. At times her need could be uncomfortable for me.
2) Hormone therapy does affect the emotions. Interestingly about 50% of M to F TG people express sexual attraction to women pre transitioning; half of those will change their sexual preference post hormone therapy.
3) Surgery is not great. Vaginas need daily maintenance, this is a constant reminder that one is TG. One does not transition to being a woman, one is in a constant state of transitioning. Surgery for F to M is even worse.

The phrase that her vagina is an open sore in the op-ed I read as being metaphorical rather than literal. The open sore being her continual need to maintain her femininity by artificial means. It is an open psychic sore.

We know people are capable of being irrational, but those irrational feelings are real to them, we should recognise their validity. For TG people there are a series of summits, coming out and living as a woman, getting hormone therapy, getting surgery, more surgery; each is the greatest challenge, then once is completed there is another challenge, it is only natural that there is a come down.

The reality is a proportion of people subsequently regret decisions they made around transitioning, particularly as it relates to fertility. There are many life affirming narratives of transitioning, but it is not inappropriate for someone to say that for some it can also be a trial.
I think this is well written, and makes sense to me.

One thing that gets me about how folks seem dismayed at this OP-Ed, is the point of view that the change isn't possibly being pursued to make them happier. Well, sometimes folks have reasons other than happiness that they pursue a goal - for some it may be to fulfill a certain purpose they feel for their life. We all aim to craft our lives to fulfill some vision we have of it, and happiness is not a mandatory part of that equation for anyone, we just may choose happiness as part of it.
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Old 30th November 2018, 08:22 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Just why exactly were you reading up on nuke design? Planning to give a few as presents to the Ukraine? I think they'd appreciate it very much around now!

...snip...
No ones giving the Ukraine nuclear weapons again after they just gave their last lot away for the treaty equivalent of a pile of magic beans
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Old 30th November 2018, 08:24 AM   #83
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Originally Posted by LSSBB View Post
I think this is well written, and makes sense to me.

One thing that gets me about how folks seem dismayed at this OP-Ed, is the point of view that the change isn't possibly being pursued to make them happier. Well, sometimes folks have reasons other than happiness that they pursue a goal - for some it may be to fulfill a certain purpose they feel for their life. We all aim to craft our lives to fulfill some vision we have of it, and happiness is not a mandatory part of that equation for anyone, we just may choose happiness as part of it.
Agreed. Just because I myself wouldn't choose to be miserable, acquire a vagina, or sport the hairstyle in the author's photograph doesn't mean I have either the need or the right to judge this person for their choices. Or rather, I can judge as much as I like, but I shouldn't expect anybody to care about my judgments. No matter how awful the hairstyle. Genitalia are minor details of biology but one's coiffure! Nevertheless, I can merely shake my head (which is crowned in glory with a hairstyle perfectly suited to me) and sigh, for there is no good to be had from forcing my own opinions of how to be upon others.
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Old 30th November 2018, 08:26 AM   #84
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BTW is anyone else literally incapable of reading the OP title in anyway other than sung Broadway style?
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Old 30th November 2018, 08:51 AM   #85
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
BTW is anyone else literally incapable of reading the OP title in anyway other than sung Broadway style?
Well, I was capable until now...

Thanks, Joe!
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Old 1st December 2018, 05:39 AM   #86
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Originally Posted by Belz... View Post
How would she have many? They're like, one in a thousand, if that. I have trouble finding red-haired people around me, and I live up north.

There's a trans group in Chapel Hill that meets twice a month. There's another in Durham that meets once a month. There's a third that meets twice a month and alternates between Durham and Chapel Hill. (One meeting is open to anyone, the other is restricted to trans only.)

There is very little overlap in the attendees of the various groups.

That's three trans groups within ten miles of each other. Five different meetings a month. There is at least one more in Raleigh, which is an additional five or so miles away.

None of these locations are what you'd call big cities. Raleigh might be a small city ... maybe. Durham is probably best described as a big town. Chapel Hill is a small town with a big university.

It isn't too hard to find trans friends if you want to.
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Last edited by quadraginta; 1st December 2018 at 05:56 AM.
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Old 1st December 2018, 05:50 AM   #87
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Originally Posted by Belz... View Post
Gays and lesbians, I get. But why would trans people go out looking for one another? You're right, I haven't looked for gingers, because there's no reason for us to congregate.

<snip>

Why do you find it unusual that a small minority of people with unique issues and experiences would seek each other out?

Transitioning can be a scary process. It helps a lot to meet people who have some experience with it.

Being trans leads to a lot of social rejection from the cisgender population. It's useful to have a place where acceptance is the norm rather than the exception.

Trans groups are resources for knowledge and assistance in addition to being social groups. What local doctors and therapists are good. Which ones aren't. How to get financial aid if needed. How to deal with legal issues. Lots of things like that.

TGs will seek each other out for pretty much the same reasons as gays and lesbians. If you can understand the latter then the former should make sense to you as well.
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Last edited by quadraginta; 1st December 2018 at 05:53 AM.
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Old 1st December 2018, 06:02 AM   #88
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Just why exactly were you reading up on nuke design? Planning to give a few as presents to the Ukraine? I think they'd appreciate it very much around now!

I've been reading up on food taboos. Things I've learned: bear meat isn't kosher, eating cat meat was legal in Germany until 1996, and Sunni Islam is okay with eating whale meat but only if the whale died from natural causes.

Wikipedia is awesome.

AKA "roof rabbit".
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