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Old 3rd December 2003, 08:03 AM   #1
corplinx
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NewsMax, Fair and Balanced

Newsmax was recently cited here as the source of a story about Hillary Clinton holding up thanksgiving in Aghanistan and then bucking to the front of the chow line while Pres. Bush was serving turkey to the troops in Baghdad.

A great followup appeared on NewsMax but like many stories on NewsMax and WorldNetDaily it dissappeared shortly afterward. These guys must be running IIS or something.

However, I found the story in my internet cache and and pasting it here for you guys:

Quote:
Whore of Babylon Visits Troops Part 2

NewsMax.com Wires
Tuesday, Dec. 4, 2003

Unnamed sources have confirmed more acts against God and nature perpetrated by Hillary Clinton during her visit to Afghanistan.

"She grabbed me by my elbow and told me to grab her a turkey leg or else" said one man who claimed Clinton ordered him to be her personal waiter. "She kept saying things like 'Get me more mashed potatoes you babykiller".

"She also asked me if I had any grey poupon several times and broke out laughing each time, she makes a noise like a warthog short of breath when she laughs" said the unnamed hero. "She was pleasant besides all that, she didn't sweat much for a fat chick."

According to other sources, when dessert was announced she ran to head of the line and grabbed an entire cheesecake which she proceeded to eat in 5 bites.

According to another unnamed source "she then smiled real big and cut a 10 second 5 octave fart, and it smelled terrible. I mean bad. Bad, bad, bad. The medic says I have permanent damage to my sinuses and the soft tissues of my eyes.".

Another unnamed source claims "she laughed real big and said, now you know what killed Vince Foster, the smell was so bad I had to leave without dessert".

An unnamed colonel from Afghanistan reports "the chow hall still smelled like a paper mill the next day, we eventually buried and roped it off so the locals wouldnt accidentally run into it. We are now serving meals in a lean-to next to the head"
Another accurate, reliable, and balanced newsmax story.
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Old 3rd December 2003, 08:05 AM   #2
Mr Manifesto
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So what's Newsmax's opinion of Hillary? Would they support her if she ran for Pres?
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Old 3rd December 2003, 08:27 AM   #3
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Quote:
According to other sources, when dessert was announced she ran to head of the line and grabbed an entire cheesecake which she proceeded to eat in 5 bites.
Eating a whole cheesecake in five bites? That alone would lead me to vote for her!
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Old 3rd December 2003, 08:50 AM   #4
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Whore of Babylon Visits Troops Part 2

I get the feeling they might be slightly biased, for some reason...
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Old 3rd December 2003, 08:51 AM   #5
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Eating a whole cheesecake in five bites? That alone would lead me to vote for her!

Well, she DID have to compete with Ms. Lewinsky, after all...
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Old 3rd December 2003, 08:56 AM   #6
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trying to delet duplicate post...doesn't seem to want me to...sorry about this...
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Old 3rd December 2003, 08:58 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Skeptic
Eating a whole cheesecake in five bites? That alone would lead me to vote for her!

Well, she DID have to compete with Ms. Lewinsky, after all...
Wow, you're right! ... I mean, if Hillary can do that, one can only imagine how talented Ms. L was!
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Old 3rd December 2003, 10:04 AM   #8
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I hope this amused at least one person, I spent my time in the shower this morning thinking up this post instead of singing "Tainted Love" as I normally do.
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Old 3rd December 2003, 10:32 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by corplinx
I hope this amused at least one person, I spent my time in the shower this morning thinking up this post instead of singing "Tainted Love" as I normally do.
It did. Time well spent. That pretty much summed up most of the anti-Hillary nonesense. You would think the reality surrounding her would be bad enough, but I guess some people need cartoon like villans. Perhaps she should have been wearing a black hat.
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Old 3rd December 2003, 10:55 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by corplinx
instead of singing "Tainted Love" as I normally do.
Do you ever sing the extended version where they segway into the lyrics of The Supremes' "Where did our love go?" I heard it for the first time a couple of years ago and now I'm always disappointed whenever I hear the shorter version.
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Old 3rd December 2003, 11:05 AM   #11
JamesM
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Of course, time spent singing 'Tainted Love' is never time wasted. The Gloria Jones original or the Soft Cell cover?
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