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Old 4th February 2023, 10:51 AM   #1
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Chinese "Spy" Balloon conspiracies in 3...2...1...

Might as well get this thread started,it's only a matter of time, before there's more...

Did something go 'boom' as the balloon flew over Montana?
At least one person thinks so.

https://www.newsweek.com/video-alleg...racies-1778938
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Old 4th February 2023, 11:21 AM   #2
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Hunter Biden is steering it.
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Old 4th February 2023, 11:28 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
Hunter Biden is steering it.
Along with Hillary Clinton as his co-pilot.
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Old 4th February 2023, 01:50 PM   #4
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Old 4th February 2023, 01:57 PM   #5
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They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.

What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?
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Old 4th February 2023, 02:01 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.
It's also dropped bombs in the Syrian conflict, qualifying it for the GWOT.

And it's conducted several intercept/deterrence flights, qualifying it for the Cold War.

Quote:
What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?: D
The real question is what did it know about Epstein.
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Old 4th February 2023, 02:09 PM   #7
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The Chinese angle is a red herring. It's actually a NASA "satellite" that failed to fix itself to the crystal dome because an engineer forgot to lick the suction cup prior to launch.
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Old 4th February 2023, 03:59 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.

What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?
Not sure if the pilot in that F-22 is going to be able to live down that "kill" graphic.
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File Type: jpg f-22-raptor-samolet-balloon.jpg (74.1 KB, 26 views)
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Old 4th February 2023, 04:18 PM   #9
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I'm looking forward to seeing the actual kill graphic in the Have Glass colorway (or the F-22 equivalent) .

And no, I don't think he'll ever live it down.
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Old 4th February 2023, 04:50 PM   #10
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The pearl-clutching by the GOP over this event is ridiculous. If you think about it, the USAF said the balloon was not a threat to safety (due to altitude) or national security. This implies they're familiar with the technology these balloons carry...just as the Chinese are familiar with the various technologies used by NOAA, NASA, and various university high-altitude balloons.

I guess we could ask what they can learn from a balloon testbed that they can't get from satellites, or any of the dozens of opensource data outlets.
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Old 4th February 2023, 04:54 PM   #11
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The wreckage, when recovered, turns out to be alien, and China was only claiming it because that seemed to be a way to irritate the Americans so why not?

So now, whatever next year's must-have gadget turns out to be, it'll use reverse engineered alien tech from the balloon craft. Even if all it does is make smoothies.
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Old 4th February 2023, 07:13 PM   #12
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I, for one, welcome Alien Smoothies.
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Old 4th February 2023, 08:55 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
I guess we could ask what they can learn from a balloon testbed that they can't get from satellites, or any of the dozens of opensource data outlets.

Well, for one, they learned a little about detection and response capabilities/procedures when our airspace is breached.

Last edited by MBDK; 4th February 2023 at 08:57 PM. Reason: Grammar usage to make the sentence more readable.
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Old 4th February 2023, 09:48 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by MBDK View Post
Well, for one, they learned a little about detection and response capabilities/procedures when our airspace is breached.
That's already public knowledge. Since 9/11/2001 there have been multiple instances where fighters were scrambled to intercept wayward civilian aircraft. DoD said there were three other balloons tracked over the past two years or so. The fact that the USAF didn't flip out about them suggests they already know what the Chinese are doing, and could already be familiar with the equipment.

A fair question to ask is why a balloon? What kind of data can they collect from a high altitude balloon that they can't get from their agents on the ground, satellites, electronic surveillance, and open source? If it's purely science, why the secrecy?
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Old 4th February 2023, 10:19 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
That's already public knowledge. Since 9/11/2001 there have been multiple instances where fighters were scrambled to intercept wayward civilian aircraft. DoD said there were three other balloons tracked over the past two years or so. The fact that the USAF didn't flip out about them suggests they already know what the Chinese are doing, and could already be familiar with the equipment.

A fair question to ask is why a balloon? What kind of data can they collect from a high altitude balloon that they can't get from their agents on the ground, satellites, electronic surveillance, and open source? If it's purely science, why the secrecy?


This is exactly my wonder. Should there ever be a nefarious reason for them to enter our airspace with a similar, but weaponized balloon, this complacency could be a potential weakness. I'm not claiming that is the actual intent, just a possibility. My original comment was really a little bit tongue-in-cheek.
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Old 5th February 2023, 12:51 AM   #16
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Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go
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Old 5th February 2023, 01:24 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by Norman Alexander View Post
Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go


Oh yeah! Just another case of history repeating...(?) Put Pearl Harbor on red alert!



P.S. "red" alert ... get it????
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Old 5th February 2023, 01:32 AM   #18
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the balloon was filled with fentanyl, and now everyone in the US will die.
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Old 5th February 2023, 05:25 AM   #19
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It was a Huawei 5G tower in the sky!
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Old 5th February 2023, 08:38 AM   #20
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The "equipment" suspended below the balloon was of extraterrestrial origin, possibly a spy probe keeping an eye on the Earth in order to let the aliens know exactly the right time to invade. The probe was impacted by a piece of space junk causing it's protective airbag to deploy, which malfunctioned and didn't deflate and detach as it was supposed to. The balloon remained in low Earth orbit for weeks and eventually entered the atmosphere and came within reach of the US military who made a deal with China to admit "owning" the balloon in order to avert a TikTok ban because the Chines are simply nuts about watching Americans humiliate themselves doing the Tortilla Slap Challenge.

The recovered alien technology will be added to that already stored at area 51 and will, hopefully, lead to the development of faster than light travel and allow The US to an interstellar space force to combat the predicted invasion and thereby save the world.
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Old 5th February 2023, 09:33 AM   #21
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Are we making up our own conspiracy theories. If so, it was really a Chinese weather balloon that went off course, but the Russians fed the US false intel to make the US think it was spying so that the US would shoot it down causing a kerfuffle between the US and China taking attention away from what Russia us doing in Ukraine.

Edit: Or it could have been aliens.
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Old 5th February 2023, 04:07 PM   #22
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Well I just put that one up on Twitbook so if it shows up on your feed, remember, you read it here first.
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Old 5th February 2023, 04:28 PM   #23
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They were making us all look up so they could tie our shoelaces together. Classic China.
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Old 5th February 2023, 05:21 PM   #24
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Obviously China sent two balloons carrying equipment which can alter the space-time continuum. Destroying one has foiled their plans learn who wins the upcoming Super Bowl, and then bet huge in Las Vegas to right their economy.
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Old 5th February 2023, 07:29 PM   #25
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This just in. an object with balloon characteristics was spotted in Colombian airspace. Unlike those MAGA fueled Americans, the Colombians didn't assume the "balloons" identity and let it pass and continue along it's way peacefully.

Whispers within the Colmbian airforce suggest this is actually a giant paper airplane in balloon drag however they refuse to officially announce what it is until it broadcasts it's preferred pronouns.

Object with balloon ‘characteristics’ flew over Colombia, air force confirms
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Old 6th February 2023, 03:24 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
They shot it down. The F-22 is now qualified to at least fight in WWI.

What I want to know is what did the balloon have on Hillary?
Frank Luke lives!
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Old 6th February 2023, 03:25 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Norman Alexander View Post
Ima just drop this here: Fu-Go
That has been brough up a lot in discussions of the CHinese Balloon.
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Old 6th February 2023, 03:28 PM   #28
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Aliens. Definitely aliens.

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Old 10th February 2023, 04:34 PM   #29
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Shot down another "Balloon" in Alaska. The Pentagon won't identify it as a balloon...which obviously means they've shot down an alien spacecraft.

Wake up, sheeple. The balloon thing is a misdirect to disguise an pending alien invasion...or something...
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Old 10th February 2023, 05:06 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
Wake up, sheeple. The balloon thing is a misdirect to disguise an pending alien invasion...or something...

Yes! A HUGE misdirect! My cats have reliable information that the aliens have a secret wormhole that exits 1000 feet underneath the Mojave Desert. From there, while our gazes are fixated on the sky, they will emerge from below to become our overlords.

Oddly enough, my cats related this to me after a catnip binge during a viewing of "Tremors".
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Old 10th February 2023, 10:50 PM   #31
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AeroOctopus invasion averted
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