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Tags assassinations , Cuba conspiracies , JFK assassination , John F. Kennedy , kennedy assassination , lee harvey oswald

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Old 4th January 2006, 01:11 PM   #1
CurtC
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Cuba paid Oswald to kill Kennedy

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/usa_kenne...NlYwMlJVRPUCUl
Quote:
The film, shown to journalists in Berlin on Wednesday, says Oswald traveled to Mexico City by bus in September 1963, seven weeks before the Kennedy shooting, and met agents at the Cuban embassy there who paid him $6,500.

Oscar Marino, a former Cuban agent and a key source for the documentary, told Huismann that Oswald himself had volunteered for the assassination mission and Havana had exploited him.
This has to be the most believable conspiracy theory ever posited w/ respect to the Kennedy Assassination. It's obvious that no competent agency would touch Lee Oswald with a barge pole to do their bidding. But what about the Cubans then? And it helps make it more plausible that the film says that it was Oswald who approached the Cubans.

I still don't buy it, but it's not that far-fetched.
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Old 4th January 2006, 01:16 PM   #2
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Its so old school. It doesn't even try to involve the Military Industrial Complex. C'mon, where's the fun in being scared of tired old communist islands? Big Oil, MIC, and the CIA are so much more kewl as villains!
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Old 4th January 2006, 01:22 PM   #3
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The last thing Castro needed was a major conflict with the US. Had Castro been behind it, there is not a chance in hell he could have kept it secret.

Think Krussie would have backed Castro in this case? It would be suicide for Castro to back such a plan.
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Old 4th January 2006, 02:16 PM   #4
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If you watch the Zapruder film closely, you can see the driver turn and shoot Kennedy!

LLH
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Old 4th January 2006, 02:22 PM   #5
CFLarsen
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Originally Posted by LordoftheLeftHand View Post
If you watch the Zapruder film closely, you can see the driver turn and shoot Kennedy!
And his mother's brother's maiden aunt's janitor was.....Cuban!!!

So, there!!!
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Old 4th January 2006, 02:31 PM   #6
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I think the grassy knoll did it.
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Old 5th January 2006, 08:43 AM   #7
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No, no, no, NO, NO!!

Obviously, no one alive today did it.

You see, it's so obvious! The lack of evidence, the lack of witnesses seeing a second shooter, it all points to one thing.

Kennedy was assasinated by a bullet fired in the future.

See, he must have been recorded as making a policy decision bad for some sector of industry (my guess is he hiked the dairy tax, and was taken out by the powerful Ice Cream Cartel). Therefore, the industry in question perfected a time machine, and fired the bullet through it to take him out before the policy went into effect.

I mean, come on! A four-year old could figure this out.

And you people call yourselves thinkers.


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Old 5th January 2006, 09:07 AM   #8
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Kennedy assassinated himself.

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Old 5th January 2006, 09:13 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Garrette View Post
I think the grassy knoll did it.
I can no longer hear the word "grassy" without immediately thinking "knoll". Am I the only one?
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Old 5th January 2006, 09:55 AM   #10
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I've had the same problem with "Pullet Surprise" and "Visualize Whirled Peas"....maybe it's a food thing with me? Is "Grassy Nol'(an)" some Texas pot head? Probly a narc'.
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Old 5th January 2006, 10:56 AM   #11
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Though I don't believe any of these conspiracy theories, I thought the Cuban Connection one made a bit more sense than most of the rest. We know that Fidel had right to be somewhat peeved at the US, what with the Bay of Pigs and the assasination plots and all.

The reason given in the original iterations of this idea for our lack of response (against Fidel and Cuba) was that it would have precipitated nuclear war with the Soviets. ("Toe to toe with the Russkies...")

So, the big cover-up to save the world from new-kew-lar conflagration.
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Old 5th January 2006, 02:33 PM   #12
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It could have been done by the same folks that planted demolitions in the WTC and crashed remote-control planes into the buildings on 9-11!!! They used a remote control bullet!!!
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Old 5th January 2006, 02:38 PM   #13
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And pre-wired Oswald with explosives so that it only looked as if Ruby shot him?

Now that I think of it, Oswald did collapse at remarkably close to free-fall speed even though he had federal agents holding him up!
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Old 5th January 2006, 02:40 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Garrette View Post
And pre-wired Oswald with explosives so that it only looked as if Ruby shot him?

Now that I think of it, Oswald did collapse at remarkably close to free-fall speed even though he had federal agents holding him up!
Oswald was actually prewired with the explosives at the age of 3, that's why nobody remembered them doing it around the time that he was shot.
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Old 5th January 2006, 02:46 PM   #15
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And you'll note that the only bone fragments they found in the autopsy were conveniently of 30 foot length.
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Old 5th January 2006, 02:52 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Garrette View Post
And you'll note that the only bone fragments they found in the autopsy were conveniently of 30 foot length.

Convenient, that made them easier to truck out of there so that they could be sent to China and recycled....by the Illuminati!!!
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Old 5th January 2006, 02:54 PM   #17
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There was an entire Red Dwarf expisode about Lister running out of curry, and then manipulating the crew into going back in time with him. They materialized in the book depository just as Oswald was about to take his shot, and they accidentally prevented him from shooting Kenneday. The crew zips forward a few eyars, and Kennedey'd been impeached, and his career is in shambles. They convince Kennedy to go back in time with them, and assasinate himself from the grassy knoll.

last line of the episode, "..it'll drive the conspiracy theorists nuts!"
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Old 5th January 2006, 03:03 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by kookbreaker View Post
Its so old school. It doesn't even try to involve the Military Industrial Complex. C'mon, where's the fun in being scared of tired old communist islands? Big Oil, MIC, and the CIA are so much more kewl as villains!
Not to mention The Jews(tm). You know they had to be involved!
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Old 5th January 2006, 03:07 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by ImaginalDisc View Post
There was an entire Red Dwarf expisode about Lister running out of curry, and then manipulating the crew into going back in time with him. They materialized in the book depository just as Oswald was about to take his shot, and they accidentally prevented him from shooting Kenneday. The crew zips forward a few eyars, and Kennedey'd been impeached, and his career is in shambles. They convince Kennedy to go back in time with them, and assasinate himself from the grassy knoll.

last line of the episode, "..it'll drive the conspiracy theorists nuts!"
Oh my, I would love to see that! I assume it's some sort of TV show? Is it available on DVD in the US?
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Old 5th January 2006, 03:16 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer View Post
Oh my, I would love to see that! I assume it's some sort of TV show? Is it available on DVD in the US?
It's a BBC comedy series, based on the book "Red Dwarf", which is hysterically funny. It's a bit derivative of "Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy", but funny none the less.
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Old 5th January 2006, 03:30 PM   #21
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Everybody's got it wrong.

Nixon killed Kennedy.

Following the 1963 election, Nixon had the motive. Nixon was in Dallas on Nov. 22, 1963. Nixon denied involvement, but Nixon was a notorious liar.

Case closed.
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Old 5th January 2006, 03:44 PM   #22
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I think you're right, Brown.

Nixon was so good at this, he even covered up the fact that there was a 1963 election!
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Old 5th January 2006, 03:50 PM   #23
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Nixon is still alive as well. I can't tell you how I know this, I've probably said too much already but I adkfng


OMG!!!1

HE'S HEEEEEER!@$211
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Old 5th January 2006, 04:08 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Garrette View Post
I think you're right, Brown.

Nixon was so good at this, he even covered up the fact that there was a 1963 election!
It is a little-known fact that the actual election was in 1963, not in 1960, as the history books would have you believe. The 1960 so-called election was a ruse, in which there was no actual vote counting. In reality, Nixon bitterly conceded the office to Kennedy in advance following the debates as part of a negotiated deal, realizing that he could never beat Harvard's golden boy. Nixon decided to concentrate on the California election of 1962, which he subsequently lost on purpose, so that he would have an excuse to give his famous speech about the media not having Dick Nixon to kick around anymore. Nixon then insisted on a new presidential election in 1963, which was kept secret because he didn't want the media to find out about it and kick him around.

Nixon wined and dined the members of the Electoral College, and even offered to get them scholarships (which in fact they didn't need). In reply, Kennedy turned on the old charm, entertained the Electoral College with stories about the Cuban Missile Crisis, and mentioned that he was on a first-name basis with John Glenn. The turning point, however, was when Kennedy rhetorically asked whether the members of the Electoral College would rather see his wife Jackie in those tight slinky dresses, or whether they'd rather see Pat Nixon in her cloth coat. In the 1963 election, the Electoral College went for Kennedy by a margin of seven percent, and Nixon was once again a bitter loser. Bitter enough ... to kill!!

True story.

No, wait, it isn't. Actually, I just goofed in giving the year of the presidential election. It was 1960.
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Old 5th January 2006, 04:11 PM   #25
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Riiiiiiiight.... You gooooofed.

They got to ya, didn't they?


(Now I'm trying to erase images of Tricky Dick "wining and dining" anyone out of my head. Thanks a lot.)
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Old 6th January 2006, 04:24 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by The Central Scrutinizer View Post
Oh my, I would love to see that! I assume it's some sort of TV show? Is it available on DVD in the US?
Amazon carries the whole set. Here's the series you want although it definitely not the best - they were getting flaky by then
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Old 6th January 2006, 03:14 PM   #27
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It was a tiger.
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Old 6th January 2006, 03:26 PM   #28
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A tiger... in Texas?
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Old 6th January 2006, 05:49 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Euromutt View Post
A tiger... in Texas?
This wasn't just any tiger.



How is he with a rifle? I hear he's GRRRRRREAT!
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Old 6th January 2006, 09:54 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by CurtC View Post
This has to be the most believable conspiracy theory ever posited w/ respect to the Kennedy Assassination.
That is akin to saying "this is the whitest lump of coal in the world."
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Old 6th January 2006, 11:26 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by Beleth View Post
That is akin to saying "this is the whitest lump of coal in the world."

Quite.
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Old 6th January 2006, 11:47 PM   #32
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To be fair, many people that fall for conspiracy theorists, as in people that join cults, aren't exactly that different from the rest of us. Conspiracy advocates rely on the fact that a human being can only absorb so much coverage of any one event. Sure a lot of us were watching TV when 9-11 happened, for example, but we simply didn't have time to watch every news report and read every book.

So then along comes the conspiracy writer who HAS done a lot of research with one catch...he's basically skimmed the internet for information and grabs whatever seems to support his theory. Without doing a significant amount of research, it can be hard to debunk such theories.

I've noticed that most conspiracy theories fall apart not simply because of lack of proof, but a considerable amount of errors in the basic details of the case. Sure an "official" story would have a lot of "holes" in it when one is making those holes up out of thin air.
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Old 7th January 2006, 01:02 AM   #33
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Well, Kennedy was still assasinated, and the evidence certainly doesn't implicate Oswald, I dunno, I think it's a little silly to think that there wasn't some kind of conspiracy.

I mean, if a plot to assasinate the president of the United States isn't a conspiracy, or one that involves some level of complexity, then I don't know what a conspiracy really is I guess.

Don't get me wrong, this is all very funny and I'm having myself a good chuckle, but I think it's important to remember not to be naive about matters of politics and government. If anything I think our skepticism should remind us not to trust the party line about matters like this, and that the world is crawling with tricksters, charlatans, conspirators, and criminals. Many of them are in office.
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Old 7th January 2006, 01:19 AM   #34
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Old 7th January 2006, 02:28 AM   #35
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Someone killed Kennedy!?

When did this happen?
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