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16th February 2004, 05:34 AM | #1 |
Illuminator
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Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
Warning: This is a language wankers' thread. If you're the sort person who can't stand seeing people tiredly whinge about how the English language is being "raped", you'll hate this thread.
Here are some minor language abuses that really hack me off. If you're really bored, you can search my previous posts and see how many of the below I use. Using 'Alternate' Instead of 'Alternative' This one goes first, because it's the least offense in the language world. The reason being, it's a confusing rule. You usually use 'alternate' only when you refer something going to a state from x to y then back to x again. eg, "The light flashed alternately red and green." When most people use 'alternate', they actually mean 'alternative'. How many times have you heard 'alternate strategy'? The kicker, though, is that there is an exception to this rule. When you talk about an alternative universe (like one where JFK didn't get assassinated and yada yada yada), you actually say 'alternate universe'. This is because so many American authors have used the term, it'd be more confusing to use the proper word than to keep going with what we have. So, even though these words were just made to be mixed up with one another, I still get hacked off when people do it. 'Ongoing' Instead of 'Continuing' The main reason I hate this is because usually the only people who use the word 'ongoing' are tossers of the highest order. But really, why use an awkword contraction when there's a perfectly good verb all ready to use? Putting Something in French to Make Yourelf Sound Cool This is becoming de rigueur among journos, sadly the left-leaning ones are more guilty of this than the right. Usually involves using a French phrase that you don't know the meaning of. Fortunately, not so many people are using a mauled version of the 'Plus ca change...' quote as used to be. Yada, Yada, Yada Look, if you can't be bothered to write a decent sentence, don't write it, okay? I hate this one used in everyday speech as well. Office workers most guilty of using it. Memory Hole This sets my teeth on edge. In fact, I think I just snapped a molar. Ramp Up This phrase conjures up many images, all of them homosexual. That's why so many journos and newsreaders use this term, to indulge their suppressed homoerotic impulses. That's my theory, I don't care if you think I'm projecting. '-gate' Suffix I hope I don't need to explain this one. One Sentence Paragraphs Usually used by ***** thick journos who managed to suck-@$$ their way to their own opinon columns. It's great for two reasons. It makes every sentence heavy with depth and meaning. And, it uses up more column inches with less words. Lucky, because the journos who use this style usually can't sustain an idea for a whole 500 words. |
16th February 2004, 06:38 AM | #2 |
Philosopher
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The ongoing rape of the english is a memory hole that contain exactly the alternate yada, yada, yada that Bill-gates is doing to ramp up microsoft, comprenez-vous ?
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16th February 2004, 09:57 AM | #3 |
Master Poster
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the thing that drives me nuts is random use of appostrophes.
i.e, "Potatoe's" |
16th February 2004, 10:26 AM | #4 |
Reality junkie
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Mr. Manifesto, I don't know if you did this on purpose, but... That word you created, "awkword", to denote a clumsy or ill-conceived use of the language, is a gem. I love it. I intend to start using it from now on. And it can be a verb, and a noun too!
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16th February 2004, 10:40 AM | #5 |
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"Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off" - that's pretty appalling for a start.
"Ramp up"? Slang term of electrical engineers and their ilk. "This is this kicker...." I hate this expression. |
16th February 2004, 10:52 AM | #6 |
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My English is perfect, however. |
16th February 2004, 10:56 AM | #7 |
Confusion Reactor
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Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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16th February 2004, 12:07 PM | #8 |
Illuminator
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Microsoft did fairly well in the piss-poor language stakes with "Based on NT technology". Based on new technology technology ? WTF ?
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16th February 2004, 01:35 PM | #9 |
Muse
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Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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16th February 2004, 01:52 PM | #10 |
Muse
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I've ranted about this word before:
impact fer example: ..."It still remains to be seen how the new tax will impact those of us in certain income brackets..." AIGGGH! If it ain't about a meteorite or a wisdom tooth, I don't want to hear anything about impact ... Not that anyone really seems to care. I've heard it cropping up all over in such context lately but I still refuse to use it, and I'll keep whining every time I hear it used that way... |
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16th February 2004, 01:53 PM | #11 |
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Re: Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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16th February 2004, 02:54 PM | #12 |
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Re: Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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16th February 2004, 03:09 PM | #13 |
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"Disconnect"
As in "There was a disconnect between the marketing people and the programming staff." IF you're going to use a word like that, then the word you are looking for is "disconnection." Disconnect is a verb. Don't nounify it, you bastiges! Better yet, why not just say what you're trying to say? |
16th February 2004, 03:11 PM | #14 |
Muse
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Teen girl 1: "And I was like 'What?', and he was like 'Yeah' and I was like 'no way' and he was like 'Yeah!' and I was like" {holds hand up as if to indicate a 'halt' signal}
Teen girl 2: "No! I'd be like '**** off'" Actual conversation heard on public transport recently. Peter |
16th February 2004, 03:34 PM | #15 |
Illuminator
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WTF can you say about this passage?:
Quote:
Well, I suppose they could have used the phrase, 'very unique', but otherwise still a good example of language-mauling. "Industrial-strength digitial video technology"? And what's up with their use of 'effectively'? |
16th February 2004, 04:49 PM | #16 |
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Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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My pet peeve is when people, nearly all of them, pronounce "short-lived" with a short I. "Short-lived" is like "big-nosed" or "fat-assed." The hyphen tells you it's a compound adjective, and the second word is a noun. People who are short-lived don't have a short live; they have a short life, with a long "i." The only reason that it isn't "short-lifed" is that there's a morphophonemic transformation from "f" to "v" when some suffixes are added. |
16th February 2004, 06:13 PM | #17 |
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I can't get worked up about short-lived rhyming with tort-ribbed.
There are worse crimes; such as speaking every sentence as if it where a question? I think the Australians started that? People who speak like that also sprinkle their sentences with like, lots of extra words? I don't like, like that. |
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16th February 2004, 06:40 PM | #18 |
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Re: Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it. Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I am very sorry. I wish it were otherwise. -- The Day The Earth Stood Still, screenplay by Edmund H. North "Don't you get me wrong. I only want to know." -- Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar, lyrics by Tim Rice |
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16th February 2004, 07:09 PM | #19 |
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Quote:
not only is it not posessive (potatoes' what??) but the apostrophe is in the wrong place. i see this a lot in groceries: "Tomatoe's $1.00" everything seems to be posessive if it has an S. (and i reserve the right to randomly capitalize when not at work. ) |
16th February 2004, 07:16 PM | #20 |
Penultimate Amazing
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Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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16th February 2004, 07:32 PM | #21 |
Illuminator
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Re: Re: Uses of the Language that Hack Me Off
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16th February 2004, 08:56 PM | #22 |
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Sticking to?...or sticking with?
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17th February 2004, 12:01 AM | #23 |
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If it only was a new debate.
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17th February 2004, 02:41 AM | #24 |
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17th February 2004, 05:24 AM | #25 |
Illuminator
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Ngggh...
Neophilia It started out harmlessly enough, with some fashion magazine declaring oxymoronically, "white is the new black." Of course, other fashion rags were titillated with this joke, not to mention ignorant of the shortness of its shelf-life. We were treated to, "Grey is the new black," "Pink is the new black," "Brown is..." well, you get the idea. Unfortunately, so did they. And, if I may borrow from Cardinal Woolsey, once lodged there you could never ever get it out. Now we are treated to, "Retirement is the new adolescence" (Saga magazine); "Losing is the new winning" (Football365.com); "Are pets the new kids?" (Red Magazine); "If gay is the new straight, don't worry girls. Maybe bums are the new tits" (The Australian).* Time and again some brain-dead journo pumps out a neophilism. I think we could ask for the death penalty for this one. It'll be the only way to weed it out of the language. *No, I didn't find all these myself. These came from Private Eye, issue 1093, 14 Nov-27 Nov 2003. |
17th February 2004, 05:25 AM | #26 |
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"Infer" when "imply" is meant. My suspicion is that the great unwashed think this is the educated person's word for "imply" which is, in any case, usually used to justify wild leaps rather than either implication or inference.
"The fact that I am so wonderful infers that something-greater than me created me which can only be God" |
17th February 2004, 10:16 AM | #27 |
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Nouning (sic) verbs makes me grind my teeth. As does -isming and -ising words; islamism and burglarising for example.
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17th February 2004, 10:24 AM | #28 |
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Aren't we confusing alter-nate, meaning "to switch back and forth", and alter-nit, "an alternative"?
I've heard plenty of secondary systems and "seconds" in a dueling sense referred to as alter-nits. I would like to see some cites suggesting that this is actually a mistake. |
17th February 2004, 11:33 AM | #29 |
Penultimate Amazing
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I realize it's a lost battle already, but I loathe the word flammable.
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17th February 2004, 11:42 AM | #30 |
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I have a hard time worrying about things like short-eyed short-lived. The euphony of the word outways any despair over its grammatical, linguistic, et cetera, impurity.
PS. Latin p0wnz3rz French |
17th February 2004, 12:03 PM | #31 |
Muse
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Have any of you ever heard the word schism pronounced sizm rather than skizm? Sizm is the dictionary pronunciation, but I have never heard it used by anyone but myself. In that instance my use of the word derailed the conversation and I have since, for the sake of maintaining the focus, returned to skizm.
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17th February 2004, 12:15 PM | #32 |
Penultimate Amazing
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I usually say sizm, though I've had to explain it a few times. A quick glance through some dictionaries shows both sizm and skizm, with skizm being the preferred in only one source. Several also show the alternate alternative () shizm.
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17th February 2004, 01:25 PM | #33 |
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Quote:
Flammable doesn't tick me off, inflammable does. |
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17th February 2004, 02:03 PM | #34 |
Penultimate Amazing
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So, every time someone talks about a combustible material, they piss one of us off, then? May I ask your problem with inflammable?
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18th February 2004, 04:25 AM | #35 |
Scholar
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What about the oh-so-basic "you're" and "your". You're arguably illiterate if your knowledge doesn't allow you to understand the difference.
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18th February 2004, 04:43 AM | #36 |
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18th February 2004, 04:48 AM | #37 |
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18th February 2004, 06:41 AM | #38 |
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18th February 2004, 07:10 AM | #39 |
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flammable, inflammable, nonflammable: Like George Carlin said, "Either it flams or it doesn't flam, why are there three of them?" This is a good thread, I'd like to see it ongo. |
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18th February 2004, 02:19 PM | #40 |
Muse
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For a while, I kept dropping the prefix on anything that crossed my desk, but I've since given in. |
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