My thougts are transmitted for real

[Elagabalus]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Because logically I could not have known the five facts the girl told me, and that remains the basis of my certainty that some of it was telepathy. Besides, I was there. I experienced this for 18 months at the job, and in that amount of time they made mistakes. Some of which I have explained in previous posts.
I know the trainee manager told people to talk about me because he did it in my face once.

You're using this event to "calibrate" what is real and what isn't. Unfortunately, because you suffer from Paranoid schizophrenia, you simply cannot trust these experiences even though they feel real to you.

You'll just have to trust us on this one.

How are you able to get Abilify? Who prescribed it to you?

[Donn]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

I am 90% certain I am right about everything, leaving only a 10% chance I am mistaken.

Oh well then.

[isissxn]

Scorpion, no one probably has to tell neighbors to talk about someone who was behaving erratically, firing off blanks, and threatening people! Gossiping about that sort of thing is pretty much what neighbors do.

Don't say they couldn't have known. You'd be surprised. I live in a large city, but way more people know my business than one might expect. It happens.

Can you really not see that?

[C_Felix]

Dear everyone,

The OP's only post is the one that started this thread.

Troll maybe?

[Mike!]

Originally Posted by C_Felix

Dear everyone,

The OP's only post is the one that started this thread.

Troll maybe?

Hard to say, despite the single post, their public profile history says they were just here yesterday earlier today. Curious troll perhaps?

[trustbutverify]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

I am 90% certain I am right about everything, leaving only a 10% chance I am mistaken.

That's actually pretty good, considering the answer I usually get to this type of question. Give me another 2%... 88/12.

[Donn]

Originally Posted by trustbutverify

That's actually pretty good, considering the answer I usually get to this type of question. Give me another 2%... 88/12.

That's a slippery hope man!

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by isissxn

Scorpion, no one probably has to tell neighbors to talk about someone who was behaving erratically, firing off blanks, and threatening people! Gossiping about that sort of thing is pretty much what neighbors do.

Don't say they couldn't have known. You'd be surprised. I live in a large city, but way more people know my business than one might expect. It happens.

Can you really not see that?

Yes, but my conclusions remain the same.
I drew my self to the attention of the police. They labeled me a psychopath. A clinical psychologist was consulted and he told people to talk about me deliberately to drive me to a breakdown. I say it was probably a clinical psychologist and not a psychiatrist but most people do not know the difference. But a psychiatrist is a doctor who has a duty of care and they would be less likely to try and break someone down.

I heard my neighbour say, "The psychiatrist said, I know what's wrong with him, he is hypersensitive and needs a spell in hospital"
I heard my landlady say " The psychiatrist said " If you want him to have a breakdown just keep lying to him".

As far as I am concerned I was not just paranoid , I was also persecuted.

[abaddon]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Yes, but my conclusions remain the same.
I drew my self to the attention of the police. They labeled me a psychopath.

Assuming your description of events is accurate, why would such a reaction surprise you?

Originally Posted by Scorpion

A clinical psychologist was consulted and he told people to talk about me deliberately to drive me to a breakdown.

Were you present at said consultation?

Originally Posted by Scorpion

I say it was probably a clinical psychologist and not a psychiatrist but most people do not know the difference.

You might be surprised.

Originally Posted by Scorpion

But a psychiatrist is a doctor who has a duty of care and they would be less likely to try and break someone down.

But you have no evidence that this ever happened, just claims that it happened.

Originally Posted by Scorpion

I heard my neighbour say, "The psychiatrist said, I know what's wrong with him, he is hypersensitive and needs a spell in hospital"

Going by your own descriptions, this could well be true. I know I would be most uncomfortable with someone, anyone, wandering my neighbourhood mumbling, shooting blanks and making threats. You claim you did exactly this yet profess surprise that the cops were summoned. Do you claim this is in any way acceptable behaviour? What would you do if some bloke did this outside your home?

Originally Posted by Scorpion

I heard my landlady say " The psychiatrist said " If you want him to have a breakdown just keep lying to him".

Quite possible. The psychiatrist might well have said tell him any darn thing just to placate him. You have entirely omitted context. These neighbours must live with you as best they can. The psychiatrist might very well have advised them that if they provoke you in any way, something untoward might occur. Seems to me that you are reading this backwards. If one of my neighbours behaved as you claim to have behaved it would be instant section 8.

Originally Posted by Scorpion

As far as I am concerned I was not just paranoid , I was also persecuted.

The paranoia was sufficient.

Look, I am not having a go at you personally. I hope you get all the help you need. Indeed, it is a healthy thing that you even engage here and garner other interpretations of what you consider your persecution.

I can only hope that you at least consider the responses you get and think deeply about them.

[Scorpion]

abaddon, Yea, some might say I got what I deserved, but being psychologically tortured could also be said to be a cruel and unusual punishment. The only help I could get is to have evidence that everything I believe is true, then I could put it behind me. But the psychiatrist I tried to tell about all this did not believe a word I said and humoured me.

In any case it was the telepathic experience that caused me the most suffering, precisely because I could not be sure if I was going mad or being driven mad, which in itself is so confusing it drives you mad.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by Mike!

Hard to say, despite the single post, their public profile history says they were just here yesterday earlier today. Curious troll perhaps?

corta is online now. Hey corta, come on and say something. I for one would be very interested in anything you have to say about your experiences.

[abaddon]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

abaddon, Yea, some might say I got what I deserved, but being psychologically tortured could also be said to be a cruel and unusual punishment. The only help I could get is to have evidence that everything I believe is true, then I could put it behind me. But the psychiatrist I tried to tell about all this did not believe a word I said and humoured me.

I shall make two points on this score. That is all about your perception of events. Your perception is not necessarily accurate.

Second, not every therapist actually works with every client. I know this from experience. I went through several some years ago before I found one that turned my life around. I still have contact with the guy in a no professional context because as it turns out, we have several interests in common. Your take away thought here must be that not every therapist fits with every person or problem. One must continue to seek until one finds a best fit. A sample of one is useless. If a given therapist does not work, move on to the next one until you find one that does. In my case, I knew too much. I could spot the trite, formulaic nonsense almost before it was trotted out by rote. Eventually, I happened upon this guy and it was foot, nail, floor. He was a laser beam cutting through my intellectual thicket.

Originally Posted by Scorpion

In any case it was the telepathic experience that caused me the most suffering, precisely because I could not be sure if I was going mad or being driven mad, which in itself is so confusing it drives you mad.

And therein lies the rub. You are unable to tell if you are mad, or everyone else is mad. Or vindictive. Or much of anything.

[Jack by the hedge]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Yea, some might say I got what I deserved...

I wouldn't say 'deserved'. It wasn't your fault you were ill. Maybe you got what you might expect in the circumstances, allowing for your distorted recollections due to illness.

Quote:

... but being psychologically tortured could also be said to be a cruel and unusual punishment. The only help I could get is to have evidence that everything I believe is true, then I could put it behind me. But the psychiatrist I tried to tell about all this did not believe a word I said and humoured me.

It's not realistic to think that the only way to get over these distressing memories is for things you recall to be proven true when they were distortions of reality and never 'true' to begin with.

Quote:

In any case it was the telepathic experience that caused me the most suffering...

No, it was the effects of your illness which caused your suffering. It was imagined telepathic experience. There is no such thing as telepathy.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by Jack by the hedge

There is no such thing as telepathy.

No, no, no, you're wrong.

[abaddon]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

No, no, no, you're wrong.

Evidence?

[Jack by the hedge]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

No, no, no, you're wrong.

The evidence says otherwise.

JREF bet a million dollars nobody could demonstrate it happening and for year after year nobody has.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by Jack by the hedge

I wouldn't say 'deserved'. It wasn't your fault you were ill.

That reminds me that I went to a spiritualist church a few years ago and on two separate occasions mediums gave me a message and mentioned that I had been going through troubles. One said "it's now coming to an end" and both mediums said "don't blame yourself".

[Donn]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Yes, but my conclusions remain the same.

This yes-buttery is a flag; you should notice when you perform it. Yes-but allows you to completely discard input and replace it with belief.

"You can't fly. When you jump from the bridge you'll plummet to your death."
"Yes, but ... I believe it!"
Cue hearse.

Quote:

As far as I am concerned I was not just paranoid , I was also persecuted.

Paranoia/persecution are primary symptoms of your disease.

Originally Posted by Scorpion

The only help I could get is to have evidence that everything I believe is true, then I could put it behind me.

Read those words, your own words, again. You want evidence for what you believe is true.

1) Your belief comes before any evidence.
2) You want only confirmatory evidence to embolden your belief.

At the very least, you should acknowledge this is fallacious. You can't wish your disease away by pretending the symptoms where not in your head.

Quote:

In any case it was the telepathic experience that caused me the most suffering, precisely because I could not be sure if I was going mad or being driven mad, which in itself is so confusing it drives you mad.

It will be much clearer when you become brave enough to ask yourself one little question: "What if there was no telepathy in the picture?"

[Scorpion]

corta, thanks for the PM but I like to keep my dialogue in the forum not in PM's.

I would be very happy to discuss this with you but on your thread not in PM's

Please ask me the question again on this thread, which I have hi jacked since your absence. But I am happy to take a back seat if you post on it.

Ha! that PM has disappeared, maybe I imagined it.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by Donn

"What if there was no telepathy in the picture?"

It would just mean I was hallucinating all of the time instead of some of the time. I already know I hallucinate and if I knew that's all it was I would ignore everything I heard. Just like I learned to ignore the voices in my ears that made no sense when I first developed schizophrenia. But I could not ignore what was really happening, and had to try and deal with persecution by both psychology and psychic means.
As far as I am concerned it all happened just as I say it did. 90% sure.

[MikeG]

If you knew you hallucinated regularly, how on earth could you tell what was "really happening"?

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by MikeG

If you knew you hallucinated regularly, how on earth could you tell what was "really happening"?

It ain't easy. Like I have said, logically I deduced that if I was told facts I did not know by the office girl she was definitely talking about what I was thinking.

[Nay_Sayer]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

It ain't easy. Like I have said, logically I deduced that if I was told facts I did not know by the office girl she was definitely talking about what I was thinking.

You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

[Michel H]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

It ain't easy. Like I have said, logically I deduced that if I was told facts I did not know by the office girl she was definitely talking about what I was thinking.

But she talked to you by using her normal voice (I mean, by using her mouth, her tongue, her lips, to say things, by using sound waves propagating through the air and going into your ears). She was not speaking telepathically directly in your head (these "voices", that I often hear, seem less "rich", and one can feel that the ears are not used).

[abaddon]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

It ain't easy. Like I have said, logically I deduced that if I was told facts I did not know by the office girl she was definitely talking about what I was thinking.

How could you be thinking about it if, as you claim, you did not know about it in the first place?

[fuelair]

Forgot to ask: Who is this real you say you are transmitting for anyway????
And why did you not capitalize the r in his/her name?????

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by Michel H

But she talked to you by using her normal voice (I mean, by using her mouth, her tongue, her lips, to say things, by using sound waves propagating through the air and going into your ears). She was not speaking telepathically directly in your head (these "voices", that I often hear, seem less "rich", and one can feel that the ears are not used).

I appeared to hear her talking out loud to other people in the office.

I don't want to complicate the issue but once another girl in the office seemed to say " It must be telepathy because a lot goes on in this office, and he doesn't hear any of that"
In other words I too may have been receiving telepathy as well as broadcasting my thoughts. But I experience hearing people talking out loud and I did not think I was receiving telepathy, only sending it.

[Donn]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

It would just mean I was hallucinating all of the time instead of some of the time...But I could not ignore what was really happening, and had to try and deal with persecution by both psychology and psychic means.
As far as I am concerned it all happened just as I say it did. 90% sure.

You see? The easy, reasoned questions I asked earlier have all been swept away by a yes-but.

1. You were hallucinating in those days.
2. You were feared by your coworkers. They wanted you to leave. This does not imply a vast conspiracy, but your disease would feel so.

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Like I have said, logically I deduced that if I was told facts I did not know by the office girl she was definitely talking about what I was thinking.

We went over this recently.

1. The "facts" were known by her, beforehand. It was well within the possible for her to know about the machinery and its state.
2. She used a common phrase in the English language, to whit: "He thinks...".

It is entirely your motivated desire to see this through a glass darkly.

[abaddon]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

I appeared to hear her talking out loud to other people in the office.

I don't want to complicate the issue but once another girl in the office seemed to say " It must be telepathy because a lot goes on in this office, and he doesn't hear any of that"
In other words I too may have been receiving telepathy as well as broadcasting my thoughts. But I experience hearing people talking out loud and I did not think I was receiving telepathy, only sending it.

You might want to take pause and consider Michel H's other posts and then come back to us.

[trustbutverify]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

It would just mean I was hallucinating all of the time instead of some of the time. I already know I hallucinate and if I knew that's all it was I would ignore everything I heard. Just like I learned to ignore the voices in my ears that made no sense when I first developed schizophrenia. But I could not ignore what was really happening, and had to try and deal with persecution by both psychology and psychic means.
As far as I am concerned it all happened just as I say it did. 90% sure.

Let's agree to 88%.

[Scorpion]

corta, I prefer to discuss things on the forum, but if you really only want to PM me then I will respond. I can't remember exactly what you said and the PM disappeared so please PM me again if you don't want your messages on the forum.

[Scorpion]

To make a point about broadcasting, I did not experience everyone reading my mind, it was mostly the aforementioned office girl, who I assume was some kind of psychic.
But there were other occasions I seemed to be broadcasting involving other people and here is one.
I had just come out of a shop and walked to my motorcycle and in my head I was ranting about my experiences. Two girls were walking past and one said . "He must be completely insane to shout like that" "The other girl said " I didn't hear anything".
I turned round and the shopkeeper had come to the door and was looking at me strangely.
I assumed he too had heard something. But I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that I did not shout out loud. I had my teeth clenched.

[abaddon]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

To make a point about broadcasting, I did not experience everyone reading my mind, it was mostly the aforementioned office girl, who I assume was some kind of psychic.
But there were other occasions I seemed to be broadcasting involving other people and here is one.
I had just come out of a shop and walked to my motorcycle and in my head I was ranting about my experiences. Two girls were walking past and one said . "He must be completely insane to shout like that" "The other girl said " I didn't hear anything".
I turned round and the shopkeeper had come to the door and was looking at me strangely.
I assumed he too had heard something. But I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that I did not shout out loud. I had my teeth clenched.

You seem totally oblivious to the fact that your admitted behaviour is good reason to call the cops. Why exactly is that?

[MikeG]

Scorpion knows that s/he has mental health problems. I don't think we are helping by interacting with him/ her. Therefore I am leaving the thread, and hope that others will come to the same conclusion. I wish you well, Scorpion, and hope you get the treatment you need.

[Scorpion]

corta, to tell you how I overcame the problem, the fact is I had to give up work. I was nervously exhausted, and had to have a complete rest. At the time I refused medication, but I had to get sick notes and eventually had to see a psychiatrist in order to have support for my claim for sick benefits. The problem of broadcasting went away by itself after some months of rest. Many years later I realized I was damaging my brain with alcohol in an attempt to self medicate and calm my stress levels. So I went to a psychiatrist who put me on 15mgs of an anti psychotic drug called abilify. I have now not had a drink of alcohol for over three years and I am quite stable. I have not experienced broadcasting for a long time now.
I did have spiritual healing at a spiritualist church and I recommend it. I had a strong feeling of well being after some healing sessions and felt better for days after.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by abaddon

You seem totally oblivious to the fact that your admitted behaviour is good reason to call the cops. Why exactly is that?

Actually the police behaved like bastards, but they could not do anything directly to me because I had committed no crime and harmed no one.
Nor did the psychiatrist see a reason for sectioning me when the neighbour set them on me. You have to be a perceived danger to yourself or others to be sectioned.

[Scorpion]

Originally Posted by MikeG

Scorpion knows that s/he has mental health problems. I don't think we are helping by interacting with him/ her. Therefore I am leaving the thread, and hope that others will come to the same conclusion. I wish you well, Scorpion, and hope you get the treatment you need.

Can't you just leave without inciting others to do the same. Besides I thought you said you were leaving on page four.

As for getting treatment, thank God I can look after myself, or I would have been long dead. I saw a psychiatrist for a couple of years and you only get five minutes every three months. I was supposed to have a social worker, but I only saw him once. The psychiatrist discharged me into the care of my doctor and that means I see my doctor once a year for a few minutes check up to see if I am still alive.

PS, the psychiatrist said to me " you are very strong" Meaning I am strong minded.
I can handle all you people telling me I am crazy, and its like water off a duck.

[Nay_Sayer]

Originally Posted by Michel H

But she talked to you by using her normal voice (I mean, by using her mouth, her tongue, her lips, to say things, by using sound waves propagating through the air and going into your ears). She was not speaking telepathically directly in your head (these "voices", that I often hear, seem less "rich", and one can feel that the ears are not used).

We have come full circle.

This is the absolute epitome of irony.

[Elagabalus]

Originally Posted by Scorpion

Actually the police behaved like bastards, but they could not do anything directly to me because I had committed no crime and harmed no one.
Nor did the psychiatrist see a reason for sectioning me when the neighbour set them on me. You have to be a perceived danger to yourself or others to be sectioned.

Why? Because you used a real gun with blanks and they had to come and check it out?

Or you just blurted out to some people sitting on a park bench to "shut the hell up"? I'm assuming it was a bench of some kind for people to sit on. Does the position of the bench just happen to line up with your window? Perhaps they were just sitting on a bench and not talking about you at all?

[Donn]

Originally Posted by Nay_Sayer

We have come full circle.

This is the absolute epitome of irony.

Is it irony when ouroboros is mentally ill? It's something, I don't know what.