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Old 11th August 2019, 07:04 AM   #41
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
*Scoffs* So you two actually think Epstein really existed?

Sheeple.
Damn you're right! Its all been a distraction in plain sight to hide the Albino Albanians controlling the world from being noticed!!!
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Old 11th August 2019, 07:05 AM   #42
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He faked his death. The body seen being ccarried out of the cell was actually a pile of blankets, with Epstein disguised as a prison guard and his fellow prison guard can be seen with pockets bulging with wads of dollars.
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Old 11th August 2019, 07:41 AM   #43
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<ct>Have you ever seen Brian Epstein and Jeffrey Epstein in the same room? Well there you go, then. </ct>
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Old 11th August 2019, 07:50 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by The Common Potato View Post
<ct>Have you ever seen Brian Epstein and Jeffrey Epstein in the same room? Well there you go, then. </ct>
:: Q.E.D.

Thread closed.
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Old 11th August 2019, 08:17 AM   #45
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
Obviously Killary disguised herself as a guard and done him in!
And Trump agrees with me!

Originally Posted by Venom View Post
I see as more likely the guy killed himself out of humiliation and shame, like a lot of people who commit suicide behind bars.
No. He wasn't the sort of person to feel either humiliation or shame. But he was facing the rest of his life in prison with no access to young girls.
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Old 11th August 2019, 09:56 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
And Trump agrees with me!



No. He wasn't the sort of person to feel either humiliation or shame. But he was facing the rest of his life in prison with no access to young girls.
No access to young girls and living the rest of his life among men who don't take kindly to child molesters.
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Old 11th August 2019, 10:42 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
No. He wasn't the sort of person to feel either humiliation or shame. But he was facing the rest of his life in prison with no access to young girls.
Or his wife. Prisoners do fine without em. He was gonna have to face his accusers, who themselves are upset they don't have the opportunity to confront him.
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Old 11th August 2019, 04:06 PM   #48
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Wow, we got dueling Conspiracy Theories here between the Trump and Clinton conspiracies.
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Old 11th August 2019, 04:22 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by dudalb View Post
Wow, we got dueling Conspiracy Theories here between the Trump and Clinton conspiracies.
It's great!

Not only do you both ends of the US political spectrum, the Royal Family is a huge bonus.

Is it the Clintons' 46th corpse, or Prince Phillip's fourth?
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Old 11th August 2019, 04:42 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by The Great Zaganza View Post
Ivanka is a status symbol without having to be a romantic interest.
“She does have a very nice figure . . . if [she] weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”, Donald Trump, 2006.
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Old 11th August 2019, 04:49 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by dudalb View Post
Wow, we got dueling Conspiracy Theories here between the Trump and Clinton conspiracies.
It's really the same conspiracy, just with one who the shadowy person pulling the strings is.
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Old 11th August 2019, 04:56 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
It's great!

Not only do you both ends of the US political spectrum, the Royal Family is a huge bonus.

Is it the Clintons' 46th corpse, or Prince Phillip's fourth?

Oooh. Ouch!
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Old 11th August 2019, 06:38 PM   #53
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When Boris Berezovsky committed suicide couple years ago, many commentators suspected or were outright convinced Putin must have had something to do with it. I mean I suppose a Russian agent could have made his way to England, gotten past his bodyguards, hanged him, then disappeared. As ridiculous as it sounded it was a better theory than this "buh..but..I thought he was on suicide watch" nonsense.
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Old 11th August 2019, 09:51 PM   #54
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I don't get this thread. If this were one of those ha-ha threads in Community, that'd be kind of understandable, but seeing it's in the CT (sub)forum ...

I mean, sleazeball dies in prison. Suicide's perfectly plausible. But given this case, murder -- whether orchestrated by interested parties, or simply the prison lowlife routine -- doesn't seem implausible either.

I don't think they've come to clear cut conclusions yet, right? * So, I know the news channels are referring jokingly to CTs, but surely this preemptively dismissing through ridicule all suggestions of murder amounts to poisoning the well?


eta:

* Or have they? Can't say I've been poring through the details at all closely. But a quick superficial listening-in to the TV and the news reports does give the impression that the case for suicide hasn't been conclusively shown and closed, right? If I'm wrong about this, then sure, the CT jokes would make sense.

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Old 11th August 2019, 10:15 PM   #55
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The fact that the President seems to endorse a CT with regards to Epstein should be seen as significant - but this being Trump it isn't.

More interesting is that the autopsy seems to be less than straightforward - or maybe those responsible just don't want to make any more mistakes.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/investi...ation-n1041216
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Old 12th August 2019, 03:58 AM   #56
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Originally Posted by Chanakya View Post
I don't get this thread. If this were one of those ha-ha threads in Community, that'd be kind of understandable, but seeing it's in the CT (sub)forum ...

I mean, sleazeball dies in prison. Suicide's perfectly plausible. But given this case, murder -- whether orchestrated by interested parties, or simply the prison lowlife routine -- doesn't seem implausible either.

I don't think they've come to clear cut conclusions yet, right? * So, I know the news channels are referring jokingly to CTs, but surely this preemptively dismissing through ridicule all suggestions of murder amounts to poisoning the well?


eta:

* Or have they? Can't say I've been poring through the details at all closely. But a quick superficial listening-in to the TV and the news reports does give the impression that the case for suicide hasn't been conclusively shown and closed, right? If I'm wrong about this, then sure, the CT jokes would make sense.
The point is shadowy, deep state Conspiracy Theories don't magically become rational and worthy of serious consideration when (g)you are able to write a narrative where the other tribe is the bad guy in them.
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Old 12th August 2019, 04:46 AM   #57
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A common thread of all the conspiracy mongering I see with Epstein is that people are incredulous that someone high profile who had been identified as a suicide risk would be given the opportunity and ability to kill himself.

Our prisons have a fierce reputation for being generally poorly run, callous to the mental and physical health of inmates, and having little regard to inmate safety. There are routinely credible accusations of inmates dying from medical neglect and abuse with no consequences for the individuals and institutions responsible.

It doesn't strike me as at all odd that a prison such as this would have an underwhelming response to a clear and present threat of suicide from an inmate.
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Old 12th August 2019, 04:48 AM   #58
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Originally Posted by Trebuchet View Post
Obviously Killary disguised herself as a guard and done him in!
Well, you were pretty close.
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Old 12th August 2019, 05:01 AM   #59
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Originally Posted by SuburbanTurkey View Post
It doesn't strike me as at all odd that a prison such as this would have an underwhelming response to a clear and present threat of suicide from an inmate.
This.

Suicide enabled by institutional incompetence, overwhelmingly likely.
Jailhouse justice enabled by institutional incompetence, slightly possible.
Deep state assassination, statistically nil possibility.
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Old 12th August 2019, 05:57 AM   #60
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
This.

Suicide enabled by institutional incompetence, overwhelmingly likely.
Jailhouse justice enabled by institutional incompetence, slightly possible.
Deep state assassination, statistically nil possibility.
But much more exciting than the other two.
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Old 12th August 2019, 07:28 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by The Common Potato View Post
<ct>Have you ever seen Brian Epstein and Jeffrey Epstein in the same room? Well there you go, then. </ct>
Until we see a note from his mother, I'm blaming Juan Epstein.
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Old 12th August 2019, 11:50 AM   #62
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Originally Posted by Vixen View Post
He faked his death. The body seen being ccarried out of the cell was actually a pile of blankets, with Epstein disguised as a prison guard and his fellow prison guard can be seen with pockets bulging with wads of dollars.
That is simple and could almost work. Therefore, no true CT will accept it.
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Old 12th August 2019, 11:58 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by The Great Zaganza View Post
The fact that the President seems to endorse a CT with regards to Epstein should be seen as significant - but this being Trump it isn't.

True.


Quote:
More interesting is that the autopsy seems to be less than straightforward - or maybe those responsible just don't want to make any more mistakes.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/investi...ation-n1041216

Probably the latter, is my take.

But this many mistakes, time and again, in a case that isn't exactly run-of-the-mill, seems ... curious. Not impossible, nor even necessarily implausible, but just a bit curious.
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Old 12th August 2019, 12:01 PM   #64
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Connect the DOTS people!

(conspiraspeak for "insert ******** here)
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Old 12th August 2019, 12:03 PM   #65
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Honestly, I wouldn't be shocked to find out some of the guards were paid off to maybe not watch epstein that closely in the hope that he would kill himself.

That's about the extent of my conspiracy theory. It is extraordinarily unlikely that anyone we have heard of did anything to advance or encourage Epstein's death.

It would also be surprising if there wasn't someone out there adding it to the Clinton Death Toll(c) or starting the Trump death toll(c).

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Old 12th August 2019, 12:11 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
The point is shadowy, deep state Conspiracy Theories don't magically become rational and worthy of serious consideration when (g)you are able to write a narrative where the other tribe is the bad guy in them.

Not the full details of the conspiracy, but that there might be some conspiracy somewhere does not seem at all ridiculous. There may not be, sure; but there may be, too. That is exactly what they're waiting to decide on.

So, to preemptively dismiss any narrative that doesn't involve suicide with zero complicity from others, and to attempt to ridicule any alternative ideas by pejoratively calling them CTs and tagging on lurid strawman narratives on to them, seems to me a classic case of poisoning the well.

Not that it matters, because none of those tasked with the investigation is likely to drink from our particular well. We'll know soon, one way or the other.
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Old 12th August 2019, 12:13 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by ahhell View Post
It is extraordinarily unlikely that anyone we have heard of did anything to advance or encourage Epstein's death.
Mission Accomplished.

Wait... that's already been used.

Job well done, then.
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Old 12th August 2019, 12:18 PM   #68
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Mark Foster (Foster the People) has it solved. Epstein is alive, the dead guy was a body double, and Jeffery is on his way to the Middle East for plastic surgery.


Foster the People promote bizarre Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy theory.

The diagram of Epstein's nose with the MS Paint line drawn on it is a hallmark of the conspiracy theorist. (twitter link here)
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Old 12th August 2019, 04:06 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by carlitos View Post
..and Jeffery is on his way to the Middle East for plastic surgery..
Well, that part could be true. Girls of 14/15 are basically old maids over there.
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Old 12th August 2019, 05:00 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by Chanakya View Post
Not the full details of the conspiracy, but that there might be some conspiracy somewhere does not seem at all ridiculous. There may not be, sure; but there may be, too. That is exactly what they're waiting to decide on.

So, to preemptively dismiss any narrative that doesn't involve suicide with zero complicity from others, and to attempt to ridicule any alternative ideas by pejoratively calling them CTs and tagging on lurid strawman narratives on to them, seems to me a classic case of poisoning the well.

Not that it matters, because none of those tasked with the investigation is likely to drink from our particular well. We'll know soon, one way or the other.
The DoJ is investigating, the FBI is investigating, and the Federal Judge who was in charge of the case will run an investigation.

Right now it sounds like a typical Federal screw-up with guards working overtime having lapses in procedure. There will be a few job openings in that district come January.
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Old 12th August 2019, 06:27 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
There will be a few job openings in that district come January.
You'll find there are already plenty, which is the core of the problem. Who would want that job?
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Old 12th August 2019, 07:00 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by dudalb View Post
Wow, we got dueling Conspiracy Theories here between the Trump and Clinton conspiracies.
What if they’re both right?

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Old 12th August 2019, 07:44 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by carlitos View Post
Until we see a note from his mother, I'm blaming Juan Epstein.
You have to be old to get that reference. I did!
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Old 12th August 2019, 08:46 PM   #74
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Did anyone mention Epstein was Jewish?

Maybe Mossad was involved.
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Old 12th August 2019, 09:53 PM   #75
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An amazingly stupid theory: The "good guys" (Q and his associates in the White House) faked his suicide, smuggled him out of the jail and smuggled in the corpse of another person, although it's obvious to the merest child that they are not the same person.

As a result, Epstein can never testify and is a potential huge embarrassment if he's ever found alive. So there's no reason at all for them to keep him alive - so why didn't they just assassinate him in his jail cell?
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Old 12th August 2019, 09:55 PM   #76
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Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
The DoJ is investigating, the FBI is investigating, and the Federal Judge who was in charge of the case will run an investigation.

Right now it sounds like a typical Federal screw-up with guards working overtime having lapses in procedure. There will be a few job openings in that district come January.
Or set-up. Sorry, I am anti- conspiracy theorist in every other context, but in this case it is very difficult for me to not believe that appropriate people in the prison system thought that it would be best for "everyone" if Epstein was
to commit suicide. They may have even encouraged him ("It would be better for you and your family if...). So easy to do, largely by simple omission, and as a result so many people in the criminal justice system, influential politicians, and very wealthy people now breath easier.

I can't really buy that these big lapses in procedure occurred accodently for such an important prisoner, especially given he was reported to have already attempted suicide.

Personally I think the investigations will become more and more obscure and the final reports inclusive.
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Old 12th August 2019, 09:58 PM   #77
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Originally Posted by Redwood View Post
An amazingly stupid theory: The "good guys" (Q and his associates in the White House) faked his suicide, smuggled him out of the jail and smuggled in the corpse of another person, although it's obvious to the merest child that they are not the same person.

As a result, Epstein can never testify and is a potential huge embarrassment if he's ever found alive. So there's no reason at all for them to keep him alive - so why didn't they just assassinate him in his jail cell?
The regular autopsy would have revealed that he is was a shape-changing lizard.
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Old 12th August 2019, 10:03 PM   #78
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Originally Posted by Giordano View Post
Or set-up. Sorry, I am anti- conspiracy theorist in every other context, but in this case it is very difficult for me to not believe that appropriate people in the prison system thought that it would be best for "everyone" if Epstein was
to commit suicide. They may have even encouraged him ("It would be better for you and your family if...). So easy to do, largely by simple omission, and as a result so many people in the criminal justice system, influential politicians, and very wealthy people now breath easier.

I can't really buy that these big lapses in procedure occurred accodently for such an important prisoner, especially given he was reported to have already attempted suicide.

Personally I think the investigations will become more and more obscure and the final reports inclusive.
I think if it was some cover-up, if you can even call it that, I favor a LIHOP scenario in which one of the guards just thinks **** him, I'll let this scumbag do us a favor and off himself.

But determined pretrial inmates do tend to succeed and I'm still sticking to the "natural" scenario of the guards doing their usual rounds and Epstein hanging himself when they're not looking. Not difficult.
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Old 12th August 2019, 11:27 PM   #79
Travis
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If there is a conspiracy to do him in it need not be a full cloak and dagger job with a hired eastern European hitman infiltrating the prison then waiting for just the right time. It could be simply a deal where they "accidentally" leave material that could be used for suicide then "accidentally" have a lapse in guard shifts overnight.



I mean that would just seem to me to be the most parsimonious means of doing it. The most likely explanation is that he just exploited incompetence to off himself outside of anyone else wanting it to happen.



But, still, I'm going to be mighty curious what all the investigations turn up.
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Old 12th August 2019, 11:54 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by Travis View Post
If there is a conspiracy to do him in it need not be a full cloak and dagger job with a hired eastern European hitman infiltrating the prison then waiting for just the right time. It could be simply a deal where they "accidentally" leave material that could be used for suicide then "accidentally" have a lapse in guard shifts overnight.



I mean that would just seem to me to be the most parsimonious means of doing it.
I'm not entirely sure what you mean by 'parsimonious' here.

If I had near-unlimited power and wanted him offed, I'd have someone poison him and have the coroner write it off as a heart attack.
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