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Old 13th January 2020, 11:52 PM   #1641
Norman Alexander
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
No.
Also can you fix my iPhone? And the Internet - it is running too slow.
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Old 14th January 2020, 01:01 AM   #1642
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
I have news!

Starting next week I'll be moving fully over on to Service Requests. From there they have a non-ongoing APS3 position to put me into, though we are on a recruitment pause right now because MoG. One of the TLs though - a 4 - is moving on to an APS5 position in Desktop Support in February, so that's going to open up a vacancy, and that is an ongoing position.

Things are definitely Looking Up.
That's awesome. Congratulations.
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Old 14th January 2020, 01:34 PM   #1643
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If you are super-picky about how documents look when they print out, you need to learn some basic Computer 101 level stuff about margins, font size, columns, headers & footers, etc and not have IT come out to redo them for every type of document you print out.

And some of the stuff you are asking me to do is literally impossible.

"The text is too small. I'm... *pause for dramatic effect* a poor widdle ole' woman and can't read it."

"Okay. I can make the text bigger."

"Okay well now it's on two pages. I want it on one page."

"Okay. Here's as large as I can make it the text before it spills on to another page. I can make the margins smaller."

"No I need the margins to make notes in."

"Okay I can print it portrait instead of landscape."

"No then it will go into the charts sideways and I don't like that."

"So you want me to make the text bigger without making it go onto another page, but I can't reduce the margins or print landscape?"

"Yes."
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Old 14th January 2020, 02:18 PM   #1644
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
If you are super-picky about how documents look when they print out, you need to learn some basic Computer 101 level stuff about margins, font size, columns, headers & footers, etc and not have IT come out to redo them for every type of document you print out.

And some of the stuff you are asking me to do is literally impossible.

"The text is too small. I'm... *pause for dramatic effect* a poor widdle ole' woman and can't read it."

"Okay. I can make the text bigger."

"Okay well now it's on two pages. I want it on one page."

"Okay. Here's as large as I can make it the text before it spills on to another page. I can make the margins smaller."

"No I need the margins to make notes in."

"Okay I can print it portrait instead of landscape."

"No then it will go into the charts sideways and I don't like that."

"So you want me to make the text bigger without making it go onto another page, but I can't reduce the margins or print landscape?"

"Yes."
And I can imagine the conversation between her and her work colleagues.

"That IT guy is useless, all I wanted him to do was make the text bigger and he made a right song and dance about it and then said he couldn't do it!"
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Old 14th January 2020, 07:16 PM   #1645
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I have moved to my new desk. The good news is that I still remember how to set up a PC.
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Old 14th January 2020, 07:30 PM   #1646
Norman Alexander
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
If you are super-picky about how documents look when they print out, you need to learn some basic Computer 101 level stuff about margins, font size, columns, headers & footers, etc and not have IT come out to redo them for every type of document you print out.

And some of the stuff you are asking me to do is literally impossible.

"The text is too small. I'm... *pause for dramatic effect* a poor widdle ole' woman and can't read it."

"Okay. I can make the text bigger."

"Okay well now it's on two pages. I want it on one page."

"Okay. Here's as large as I can make it the text before it spills on to another page. I can make the margins smaller."

"No I need the margins to make notes in."

"Okay I can print it portrait instead of landscape."

"No then it will go into the charts sideways and I don't like that."

"So you want me to make the text bigger without making it go onto another page, but I can't reduce the margins or print landscape?"

"Yes."
Easy solution: Truncate the document at whatever point it is at the end of the page. She obviously isn't going to read it, so content is pointless. It's just an eye-chart, really.
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Old 14th January 2020, 10:54 PM   #1647
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
I have moved to my new desk. The good news is that I still remember how to set up a PC.
You can always call the help desk....
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Old 14th January 2020, 11:24 PM   #1648
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Originally Posted by Darat View Post
You can always call the help desk....
Ahem. Service desk, thank you.
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Old 14th January 2020, 11:44 PM   #1649
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
I have news!

Starting next week I'll be moving fully over on to Service Requests. From there they have a non-ongoing APS3 position to put me into, though we are on a recruitment pause right now because MoG. One of the TLs though - a 4 - is moving on to an APS5 position in Desktop Support in February, so that's going to open up a vacancy, and that is an ongoing position.

Things are definitely Looking Up.
Sir Humphreys would be proud....
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Old 14th January 2020, 11:48 PM   #1650
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Originally Posted by Dabop View Post
Sir Humphreys would be proud....
Do you mean Sir Humphrey Appleby? I'm nowhere near his level of obfuscatory skill.
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Old 15th January 2020, 01:38 AM   #1651
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Yep...
Always loved the old Yes Minister and Yes Prime-minister series...
He was definitely the pinnacle of public service speak...
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Old 15th January 2020, 06:43 PM   #1652
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Originally Posted by Dabop View Post
Yep...
Always loved the old Yes Minister and Yes Prime-minister series...
He was definitely the pinnacle of public service speak...
Yes, those were great documentaries.
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Old 15th January 2020, 08:58 PM   #1653
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
If you are super-picky about how documents look when they print out, you need to learn some basic Computer 101 level stuff about margins, font size, columns, headers & footers, etc and not have IT come out to redo them for every type of document you print out.

And some of the stuff you are asking me to do is literally impossible.

"The text is too small. I'm... *pause for dramatic effect* a poor widdle ole' woman and can't read it."

"Okay. I can make the text bigger."

"Okay well now it's on two pages. I want it on one page."

"Okay. Here's as large as I can make it the text before it spills on to another page. I can make the margins smaller."

"No I need the margins to make notes in."

"Okay I can print it portrait instead of landscape."

"No then it will go into the charts sideways and I don't like that."

"So you want me to make the text bigger without making it go onto another page, but I can't reduce the margins or print landscape?"

"Yes."
What? You didn't try adjusting the kerning?
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Old 16th January 2020, 09:32 AM   #1654
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
If you are super-picky about how documents look when they print out, you need to learn some basic Computer 101 level stuff about margins, font size, columns, headers & footers, etc and not have IT come out to redo them for every type of document you print out.

And some of the stuff you are asking me to do is literally impossible.

"The text is too small. I'm... *pause for dramatic effect* a poor widdle ole' woman and can't read it."

"Okay. I can make the text bigger."

"Okay well now it's on two pages. I want it on one page."

"Okay. Here's as large as I can make it the text before it spills on to another page. I can make the margins smaller."

"No I need the margins to make notes in."

"Okay I can print it portrait instead of landscape."

"No then it will go into the charts sideways and I don't like that."

"So you want me to make the text bigger without making it go onto another page, but I can't reduce the margins or print landscape?"

"Yes."
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Old 16th January 2020, 02:54 PM   #1655
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Originally Posted by Norman Alexander View Post
Also can you fix my iPhone? And the Internet - it is running too slow.

Dogs. Dogs are the answer.

If your Internet is running too slow you need to get some dogs to chase it. The bigger the dogs the faster it will run.

Bees could work too, but they're harder to train. OTOH, they are easier to feed.
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Old 16th January 2020, 08:15 PM   #1656
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Originally Posted by The Greater Fool View Post
OK. Or line spacing?
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Old 16th January 2020, 08:39 PM   #1657
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Originally Posted by quadraginta View Post
Dogs. Dogs are the answer.

If your Internet is running too slow you need to get some dogs to chase it. The bigger the dogs the faster it will run.

Bees could work too, but they're harder to train. OTOH, they are easier to feed.
And kittens.
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Old 16th January 2020, 11:07 PM   #1658
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I continue to be mildly annoyed by people referring to software by the parent company name.

I just had a call from someone who was having trouble logging on to Cisco.

What were you trying to log on to?

Cisco. The 1800 number.

What he was actually trying to log on to is Cisco Finesse, a call center routing system. We use that ourselves. We call it Finesse.
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Old 19th January 2020, 08:18 PM   #1659
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Originally Posted by JoeMorgue View Post
If you are super-picky about how documents look when they print out, you need to learn some basic Computer 101 level stuff about margins, font size, columns, headers & footers, etc and not have IT come out to redo them for every type of document you print out.

And some of the stuff you are asking me to do is literally impossible.

"The text is too small. I'm... *pause for dramatic effect* a poor widdle ole' woman and can't read it."

"Okay. I can make the text bigger."

"Okay well now it's on two pages. I want it on one page."

"Okay. Here's as large as I can make it the text before it spills on to another page. I can make the margins smaller."

"No I need the margins to make notes in."

"Okay I can print it portrait instead of landscape."

"No then it will go into the charts sideways and I don't like that."

"So you want me to make the text bigger without making it go onto another page, but I can't reduce the margins or print landscape?"

"Yes."
Reminds me of the classic grocery bagger's complaint: a little old lady demands all her groceries be placed into as few bags as possible, but the bags have to be light in weight.
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Old 19th January 2020, 08:44 PM   #1660
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Reminds me of the classic grocery bagger's complaint: a little old lady demands all her groceries be placed into as few bags as possible, but the bags have to be light in weight.
How many pieces should I cut this pizza into? Six or eight?

Make it six. I couldn't eat eight.
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Old 19th January 2020, 08:51 PM   #1661
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I started training for my new job this morning.
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Old 19th January 2020, 09:08 PM   #1662
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
I started training for my new job this morning.
And posting here? Lunch break?
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Old 19th January 2020, 09:28 PM   #1663
arthwollipot
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Originally Posted by Norman Alexander View Post
And posting here? Lunch break?
I've always posted during work. It's a frequent brief distraction that I use to help me do routine or repetitive tasks.
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Old 22nd January 2020, 07:36 PM   #1664
arthwollipot
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So we have a procedure where if a person leaves the department or goes on extended leave, they are to submit an Exit Advice Notification (EAN) form so that we can remove them from distribution lists, account for owned assets and resources, and close their account. Sometimes people do not do this, and colleagues have to submit it on their behalf after they have left. It is always amusing how delayed this can be. The previous latest I had seen was someone who departed in July last year.

I have one here who departed on 30 June 2018. That's a record.
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Old Yesterday, 03:02 PM   #1665
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When someone leaves here, the primary account must, by federal regulation, be disabled within 24 hours. All secondary accounts (stuff they could access but thatís blocked because the primary account doesnít work) removed/disabled within 30 days.

Itís a bit different here . Of course, part of what I protect is access to the power grid (including several nuclear plants).


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