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Old 31st March 2019, 01:02 PM   #1
fromdownunder
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Jesus Rules Over All of Us

I have finally had the epiphany that has led me to understand that Jesus truly lived and came to this Earth to save all mankind, and the truth of the Bible. I am willing to go into great detail to explain how this all happened today of all days, if anyone is really interested. I have walked away from atheism


May he bless you all.


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Old 31st March 2019, 01:09 PM   #2
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No thanks. I'm good.
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:09 PM   #3
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He did a lousy job on my lawn last week
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:16 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I have finally had the epiphany that has led me to understand that Jesus truly lived and came to this Earth to save all mankind...
From whom?
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:17 PM   #5
fromdownunder
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From God herself.


Norm
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:39 PM   #6
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Strange that you had this revelation on April 1st.
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:40 PM   #7
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Dang, I forgot about the international date line.
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:40 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
Strange that you had this revelation on April 1st.
Not for another three hours.
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:44 PM   #9
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Is life more meaningful and complete now that you have been enlightened?

How so?
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Old 31st March 2019, 01:54 PM   #10
fromdownunder
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Originally Posted by 8enotto View Post
Is life more meaningful and complete now that you have been enlightened?

How so?

I no longer bother with earthly calendrics, hence my contempt for the above comment that the date here has anything to do with my Road to Damascus conversion.


I think I will change my name to Paul. Well, I'll think about it.



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Old 31st March 2019, 02:09 PM   #11
p0lka
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I have finally had the epiphany that has led me to understand that Jesus truly lived and came to this Earth to save all mankind, and the truth of the Bible. I am willing to go into great detail to explain how this all happened today of all days, if anyone is really interested. I have walked away from atheism


May he bless you all.


Norm
I just started a replay of vampire the masquarade: bloodlines, as a malkavian.
So in the spirit of that..

'your tongue is craving the worms wriggling, free them and divulge your lessons to we'
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:13 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by catsmate View Post
Not for another three hours.
Something just comes to mind. How do the Flat Earthers deal with the different time zone question?
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:19 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I no longer bother with earthly calendrics, hence my contempt for the above comment that the date here has anything to do with my Road to Damascus conversion.


I think I will change my name to Paul. Well, I'll think about it.



Norm

Well then Norm (or is it Paul now?) hallelujah then! Please give us the lengthy explanation so we all may have a chance to experience a conversion also.
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:33 PM   #14
8enotto
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I no longer bother with earthly calendrics, hence my contempt for the above comment that the date here has anything to do with my Road to Damascus conversion.


I think I will change my name to Paul. Well, I'll think about it.



Norm
You have rejected earthly desires now understanding better what comes after?

My dad did that. He said it made him feel more complete for being on the straight and narrow path.
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:44 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I have finally had the epiphany that has led me to understand that Jesus truly lived and came to this Earth to save all mankind, and the truth of the Bible. I am willing to go into great detail to explain how this all happened today of all days, if anyone is really interested. I have walked away from atheism


May he bless you all.


Norm
Can you ask him to fix my auto-immune disease, thanks.
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:51 PM   #16
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As I was on my journey to the bathroom, I slipped, and brushed an object on the wall. A light suddenly flashed around me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice mumble something like , "mumble, mumble, mumble"


"Who are you?" I asked.



"I am mumble mumble, mumble", he replied. Now get up and go into the toilet, and you will be told what you must do." I took it as a sign.



I laid there there speechless after hearing the sound but did not see anyone. I got up from the floor, but when I opened my eyes I could see nothing. So I went blinded into the bathroom, and peed all over the floor. For three days afterward I was blind, and did not eat because the stove was invisible to me, but fortunately I knew where the beer was and was able to drink non stop for three days, and my conversion was complete.


Thus this is how the Lord came to me, and my love of God, and Carlton Draft.



Norm
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:55 PM   #17
p0lka
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
Can you ask him to fix my auto-immune disease, thanks.
Which of the attacking oneself afflictions, is the affliction? I have many.

Last edited by p0lka; 31st March 2019 at 02:56 PM.
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:56 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by 8enotto View Post
You have rejected earthly desires now understanding better what comes after?

Pretty much, yes. After all, there's got to be a morning after.


Norm
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Old 31st March 2019, 02:58 PM   #19
fromdownunder
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
Can you ask him to fix my auto-immune disease, thanks.

I did, and he answered. Prayers are always answered. In this particular case, "no".


Norm
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Old 31st March 2019, 03:02 PM   #20
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Praise God and pass me a Carlton?
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Old 31st March 2019, 03:20 PM   #21
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That is certainly blessed news.

Let us give glory to the Father
Through the Son
In the Holy Spirit,
For God has made us his people, his Church,
And calls us to sing his praises.

All honour and glory and thanks are his,
And praise and worship belong to him.
To God be glory in his Church
For ever and ever!

Amen!

Hallelujah hallelujah!
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Old 31st March 2019, 03:33 PM   #22
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Now you are one of there faithful Norm I hope you stick around, so you can give us some honest input. Honest input is something severely lacking, from our sparse number of existing theist posters.
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Old 31st March 2019, 03:58 PM   #23
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Carlton Draft? Must have been Satan.
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Old 31st March 2019, 03:59 PM   #24
fromdownunder
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Originally Posted by shemp View Post
Carlton Draft? Must have been Satan.

Well, it's better than Fosters.


Norm
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Old 31st March 2019, 04:19 PM   #25
p0lka
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Originally Posted by The Big Dog View Post
That is certainly blessed news.

Let us give glory to the Father
Through the Son
In the Holy Spirit,
For God has made us his people, his Church,
And calls us to sing his praises.

All honour and glory and thanks are his,
And praise and worship belong to him.
To God be glory in his Church
For ever and ever!

Amen!

Hallelujah hallelujah!
Does the church succur you? you might be twice divided.
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Old 31st March 2019, 04:22 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by p0lka View Post
Which of the attacking oneself afflictions, is the affliction? I have many.
I am the only person on the planet that has this weird problem if internet and PubMed searches are an indicator. My immune system is attacking my entire mouth: tongue, lips, gums, palate, a bit of my throat, and a tiny bit of my left eye.

It doesn't fit all the other diseases like lupus and RA but I have little bits of those too from arthritis to a butterfly face rash.

Which do you have?

I thought since mine is rare it must be special, just the kind of thing Jesus is into healing.
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Old 31st March 2019, 04:22 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by p0lka View Post
Does the church succur sucker you? you might be twice divided.
FTFY
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Old 31st March 2019, 04:25 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I did, and he answered. Prayers are always answered. In this particular case, "no".


Norm
Well, guess I'll wander over to a Wiccan forum and see if Beelzebub is interested.
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Old 31st March 2019, 06:42 PM   #29
p0lka
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
I am the only person on the planet that has this weird problem if internet and PubMed searches are an indicator. My immune system is attacking my entire mouth: tongue, lips, gums, palate, a bit of my throat, and a tiny bit of my left eye.

It doesn't fit all the other diseases like lupus and RA but I have little bits of those too from arthritis to a butterfly face rash.

Which do you have?

I thought since mine is rare it must be special, just the kind of thing Jesus is into healing.
I just googled autoimmune and blisters in mouth, lips etc and there are some results for particular conditions, it might be worth looking into.

My autoimmune shenanigans are type 1 diabetes (body wiped out my insulin gland in my pancreas), hypothyroidism (body wiped out my thyroid gland) and my skin melts, bubbles or blisters when I wear a metal watch/metal belt/metal anything that touches my skin.
I don't think my body particularly likes me that much

EDIT:
and whoosh... my brain doesn't help me that much either.

Last edited by p0lka; 31st March 2019 at 07:20 PM.
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Old 31st March 2019, 06:51 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
Well, it's better than Fosters.


Norm
Even Satan wouldn't inflict that on anyone!
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Old 31st March 2019, 06:53 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I think I will change my name to Paul.

Such things occur on that road to Dumbasscus.
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Old 31st March 2019, 07:02 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
I am the only person on the planet that has this weird problem if internet and PubMed searches are an indicator. My immune system is attacking my entire mouth: tongue, lips, gums, palate, a bit of my throat, and a tiny bit of my left eye.

It doesn't fit all the other diseases like lupus and RA but I have little bits of those too from arthritis to a butterfly face rash.

Which do you have?

I thought since mine is rare it must be special, just the kind of thing Jesus is into healing.
Maybe if you ask real nice, Jesus will make you a zombie like him. You have to die first though, after that I hear it takes 3 days.
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Old 31st March 2019, 07:19 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by p0lka View Post
I just googled autoimmune and blisters in mouth, lips etc and there are some results for particular conditions, it might be worth looking into.

My autoimmune shenanigans are type 1 diabetes (body wiped out my insulin gland in my pancreas), hypothyroidism (body wiped out my thyroid gland) and my skin melts, bubbles or blisters when I wear a metal watch/metal belt/metal anything that touches my skin.
I don't think my body particularly likes me that much
Bummer.

Not a sidetrack because Jesus Saves! But in case some people don't want the TMI:
You and 5 specialists who thought it was something simple turned out to be wrong.
It's not geographic tongue
It's not burning mouth syndrome
It's not oral Crohns
It's not a vitamin D or folic acid deficiency
There are no blisters involved
My lips are constantly swollen and chapped
The biopsies show ulcerative mucositis but I don't have typical ulcers
When I'm not on prednisone my tongue gets bald and anything solid makes me gag

It's simply not in the medical literature. Believe me, I still keep looking.
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Old 31st March 2019, 08:14 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by Myles View Post
Such things occur on that road to Dumbasscus.
I was once on the road to Dimboola. Not much happened.
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Old 31st March 2019, 08:41 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by lionking View Post
I was once on the road to Dimboola. Not much happened.
Iíve read the brochures and you are correct.
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Old 31st March 2019, 11:26 PM   #36
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Have you been to Kickatinalong?
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Old 1st April 2019, 01:11 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by shemp View Post
Even Satan wouldn't inflict that on anyone!
But he did allow XXXX to exist...

He's got a LOT to answer for
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Old 1st April 2019, 01:37 AM   #38
fromdownunder
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Originally Posted by lionking View Post
I was once on the road to Dimboola. Not much happened.

What a coincidence. I almost saw a Movie called Dimboola once
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Old 1st April 2019, 01:39 AM   #39
fromdownunder
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Originally Posted by Norman Alexander View Post
Have you been to Kickatinalong?

But have you been to Been to Tullamore, Seymour, Lismore, Mooloolaba, Nambour, Maroochydore, Kilmore, Murwillumbah, Birdsville, Emmaville, Wallaville, Cunnamulla, Condamine, Strathpine, Proserpine, Ulladulla, Darwin, Gin Gin, Deniliquin, Muckadilla, Wallumbilla, Boggabilla, Kumbarilla.


Norm
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Old 1st April 2019, 02:40 AM   #40
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Yes,no,yes,yes,yes,yes,no,yes,yes,no,no,no,yes,yes ,yes,yes,yes,yes,no,no,yes,no
(And lived in three of them to boot)
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