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Old 1st April 2019, 05:15 AM   #41
pgwenthold
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Last night, I had a dream that I was looking into buying a new stereo with a CD player. When we went to hook it up to speakers to try it out, it turned into a powerful self-propelled push lawnmower. I got it, and as I took it him, it was being pulled by two elephants, one of which had a baby. I was just wondering where we were going to keep these elephants and how we were going to feed them. I planned to dig a hole to fill with water for them to sit in. Therefore, Jesus exists.
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Old 1st April 2019, 07:46 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by pgwenthold View Post
Last night, I had a dream that I was looking into buying a new stereo with a CD player. When we went to hook it up to speakers to try it out, it turned into a powerful self-propelled push lawnmower. I got it, and as I took it him, it was being pulled by two elephants, one of which had a baby. I was just wondering where we were going to keep these elephants and how we were going to feed them. I planned to dig a hole to fill with water for them to sit in. Therefore, Jesus exists.
What a weird dream! I dreamt I was sitting on the floor of one of my childhood bedrooms carefully spreading icing onto playing cards. The robot from 'Riptide' was there and I kept asking it to play music but it refused. That is a normal dream. I also have a recurring dream where I attempt to murder an evil baby by stabbing a pen into its eye while it laughs and commands metal-toothed dogs, but that is a less normal dream. And the time-travelling peanut tree that I have sex with is the least normal dream of all. I don't even like peanuts.
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Old 1st April 2019, 09:48 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I have finally had the epiphany that has led me to understand that Jesus truly lived and came to this Earth to save all mankind, and the truth of the Bible. I am willing to go into great detail to explain how this all happened today of all days, if anyone is really interested. I have walked away from atheism


May he bless you all.


Norm
That is amazing!

The very same thing happened to me just this morning (01 APR 2019).
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Old 1st April 2019, 10:05 AM   #44
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I, too, received divine visitation! But it was a delegation of D-list divinity. Nepthys, the Minotaur, a Nereid, that immortal goat of Thor's, the Jade Emperor's butler, and some rando ancestor and nature spirits. I was polite but firm and sent them away, and dropped the pamphlets they left straight into the recycle bin.
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Old 1st April 2019, 10:14 AM   #45
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To the OP,

Is this the Protestant Jesus, the Catholic Jesus, the Muslim Jesus, or the Buddhist Jesus that rules over us?
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Old 1st April 2019, 10:52 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by Tormac View Post
To the OP,

Is this the Protestant Jesus, the Catholic Jesus, the Muslim Jesus, or the Buddhist Jesus that rules over us?
South Park Jesus said it was the Mormons that were right.
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Old 1st April 2019, 11:17 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I no longer bother with earthly calendrics, hence my contempt for the above comment that the date here has anything to do with my Road to Damascus conversion.


I think I will change my name to Paul. Well, I'll think about it.



Norm
I dunno. Norm the Apostle has kind of a ring to it.

Maybe combine them? Naul...Porm...no: Palm the Apostle.
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Old 1st April 2019, 11:42 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
As I was on my journey to the bathroom, I slipped, and brushed an object on the wall. A light suddenly flashed around me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice mumble something like , "mumble, mumble, mumble"
....
. For three days afterward I was blind, and did not eat because the stove was invisible to me, but fortunately I knew where the beer was and was able to drink non stop for three days, and my conversion was complete.
...
And all this happened today??
A miracle indeed!
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Old 1st April 2019, 12:31 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
South Park Jesus said it was the Mormons that were right.
Oh, another different Jesus I forgot! Thanks Skeptic Ginger.

OP please add SP Jesus to the list in my question above.


(Of course I suppose it is all moot because every Jesus is just a figment of Azathoth's slumber).
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Old 1st April 2019, 12:56 PM   #50
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And now for the news...


I have de-converted from my conversion. It's funny how these things can happen in the light of a new day.


Norm
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Old 1st April 2019, 01:08 PM   #51
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Time travelling Aussies give me the heebie jeebies
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Old 1st April 2019, 01:21 PM   #52
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Another late night at the porcelain alter and you'll be back for more believing. Try cervesa Sol from Mexico next time.

Two cases of that has anyone on the knees paying tribute.
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Old 2nd April 2019, 04:32 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by Tormac View Post
Oh, another different Jesus I forgot! Thanks Skeptic Ginger.

OP please add SP Jesus to the list in my question above.


(Of course I suppose it is all moot because every Jesus is just a figment of Azathoth's slumber).
Another amazing coincidence!

Because the very same thing happened to me shortly after 01 APR 2019 became 02 APR 2019.

You and I are so simpatico.

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On 15 FEB 2019 'BobTheCoward' said: "I constantly assert I am a fool."
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Old 2nd April 2019, 06:56 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by Crossbow View Post
Another amazing coincidence!

Because the very same thing happened to me shortly after 01 APR 2019 became 02 APR 2019.

You and I are so simpatico.

Crossbow,

This level of synchronicity can only be reasonably explained by the will of the Outer Gods!

I for one welcome the arrival of the silver gate. He knows where the Old Ones have broken through of old, and where They shall break through again! He knows where They have trod earth’s fields, and where they still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread.

I wish the OP would reply to my post so I could share with him the good news of Yog Sothoth. Yog Sothoth loves you, and would like to have a personal relationship with you all (very personal).

Fromdownunder, have you heard the good news of the outer gods?
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Old 2nd April 2019, 02:18 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
Something just comes to mind. How do the Flat Earthers deal with the different time zone question?
Do FlatEarthers deny there is a solar terminator, moving across the flat earth?
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Old 2nd April 2019, 02:37 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Skeptical Greg View Post
Do FlatEarthers deny there is a solar terminator, moving across the flat earth?


Solar terminator ...... hummmm.

Run that by me please.
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Old 2nd April 2019, 03:06 PM   #57
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Quote:
I for one welcome the arrival of the silver gate. He knows where the Old Ones have broken through of old, and where They shall break through again! He knows where They have trod earth’s fields, and where they still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread.



Fromdownunder, have you heard the good news of the outer gods?

Afraid not. But I am familiar with the Old Ones and grok them in full. Share water my brother and may you never thirst. (My newest religion conversion - I believe it comes with a lot of sex, and you acquire superpowers)


Norm
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Old 2nd April 2019, 03:20 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
Solar terminator ...... hummmm.

Run that by me please.


Yes please tell me also.



This new learning amazes me Skeptical Greg. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.


Norm
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Old 2nd April 2019, 03:29 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
Yes please tell me also.



This new learning amazes me Skeptical Greg. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.


Norm


Sheep's bladders and earthquakes?

Sheep's bladders are used for that Scottish delicacy haggis aren't they? Perhaps excessive flatulence but earthquakes my be something of an exaggeration.
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Old 2nd April 2019, 04:02 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
Solar terminator ...... hummmm.

Run that by me please.
Google is your friend..
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Old 3rd April 2019, 10:30 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
Afraid not. But I am familiar with the Old Ones and grok them in full. Share water my brother and may you never thirst. (My newest religion conversion - I believe it comes with a lot of sex, and you acquire superpowers)


Norm
Although we are were talking about different Old ones to be sure, this seems like a very reasonable conversion fromdownunder.

I would like to hear more about your nest (May you never thirst).
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Old 3rd April 2019, 11:22 AM   #62
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
I have finally had the epiphany that has led me to understand that Jesus truly lived and came to this Earth to save all mankind, and the truth of the Bible. I am willing to go into great detail to explain how this all happened today of all days, if anyone is really interested. I have walked away from atheism


May he bless you all.


Norm
Cool story bro.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 11:45 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
I am the only person on the planet that has this weird problem if internet and PubMed searches are an indicator. My immune system is attacking my entire mouth: tongue, lips, gums, palate, a bit of my throat, and a tiny bit of my left eye.

It doesn't fit all the other diseases like lupus and RA but I have little bits of those too from arthritis to a butterfly face rash.

Which do you have?

I thought since mine is rare it must be special, just the kind of thing Jesus is into healing.
How and when did this abominable condition begin?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 02:59 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by sylvan8798 View Post
How and when did this abominable condition begin?
Several years ago. And for a bunch of years before the mouth attack I had a mild autoimmune arthritis and a weird reaction to the Sun if I was out in it for an hour or more. My exposed skin would be red and swollen the next day and itched like crazy for about 3 days, similar to what's called a delayed sensitivity reaction.

As for how, it came on over a couple of days, chapped lips that wouldn't go away, swollen lips and my tongue went bald. Solid food made me gag no matter how soft. Now that it's somewhat controlled my tongue gets better and worse, I don't gag but a lot of food burns my mouth and only a few things are appetizing.

Are you praying for me?
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Old 3rd April 2019, 05:49 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
Several years ago. And for a bunch of years before the mouth attack I had a mild autoimmune arthritis and a weird reaction to the Sun if I was out in it for an hour or more. My exposed skin would be red and swollen the next day and itched like crazy for about 3 days, similar to what's called a delayed sensitivity reaction.

As for how, it came on over a couple of days, chapped lips that wouldn't go away, swollen lips and my tongue went bald. Solid food made me gag no matter how soft. Now that it's somewhat controlled my tongue gets better and worse, I don't gag but a lot of food burns my mouth and only a few things are appetizing.

Are you praying for me?
I suspect that a lot of us may be not-praying for you...
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Old 3rd April 2019, 06:59 PM   #66
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Originally Posted by Tormac View Post
I would like to hear more about your nest (May you never thirst).

I regret to say that the Nest is not quite three filled yet. In fact I am the only one in it. I expect to advance to a fully filled nest before discorporation. Waiting is. I do see a lot of nurses when I frequent the big building with patients - none like Jill - , but that's not important right now.



Fullness will come when waiting ends.



Norm
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Old 3rd April 2019, 07:19 PM   #67
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^Sadly no, I’m wishing I knew more about environmental causes, since I suspect that something you are not aware of could have triggered such a powerful battle as a reaction. We are exposed to so many things, who knows? I’ll pray to Thor that it passes quickly though
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Old 3rd April 2019, 07:30 PM   #68
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Oh well
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Old 3rd April 2019, 07:51 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by Rincewind View Post
I suspect that a lot of us may be not-praying for you...
I appreciate that.
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Old 3rd April 2019, 09:01 PM   #70
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Jesus is coming? I wasn't aware he was even breathing heavy.
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Old 8th April 2019, 11:17 AM   #71
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
I am the only person on the planet that has this weird problem if internet and PubMed searches are an indicator. My immune system is attacking my entire mouth: tongue, lips, gums, palate, a bit of my throat, and a tiny bit of my left eye.

It doesn't fit all the other diseases like lupus and RA but I have little bits of those too from arthritis to a butterfly face rash.

Which do you have?

I thought since mine is rare it must be special, just the kind of thing Jesus is into healing.
Have your DNA tested for HLA-B27 genetic markers, you've likely got undiagnosed Reiter's syndrome.

Chris B.
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Old 8th April 2019, 12:17 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by d4m10n View Post
Dang, I forgot about the international date line.
I just stumbled across this thread and was really worried about the fromdownunder's mental health, for real. I was thinking, "Oh, no. This sounds really bad."

LOL
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Old 8th April 2019, 01:47 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by kellyb View Post
I just stumbled across this thread and was really worried about the fromdownunder's mental health, for real. I was thinking, "Oh, no. This sounds really bad."

LOL

Getting religion ....... mental health? Careful there, you will have them coming at you from all sides if you conflate the two. Had a thread about it not long ago and some fighting words were spoken.
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Old 8th April 2019, 04:31 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
Getting religion ....... mental health? Careful there, you will have them coming at you from all sides if you conflate the two. Had a thread about it not long ago and some fighting words were spoken.
It's a fine line. Do those with supernatural beliefs have a mental health issue? I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt, so many people seem to need the comfort of the notion that they will live forever.
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Old 9th April 2019, 09:09 AM   #75
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
Getting religion ....... mental health? Careful there, you will have them coming at you from all sides if you conflate the two. Had a thread about it not long ago and some fighting words were spoken.
I was there, and on team "being religious is not a mental illness", but for an avowed atheist to up and go all Jesus on us would be very peculiar.
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Old 9th April 2019, 02:23 PM   #76
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Originally Posted by kellyb View Post
I was there, and on team "being religious is not a mental illness", but for an avowed atheist to up and go all Jesus on us would be very peculiar.

So in some cases you may be a nutter if you get religion then?
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Old 10th April 2019, 06:50 AM   #77
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Originally Posted by Thor 2 View Post
So in some cases you may be a nutter if you get religion then?
Yeah, that can be...symptomatic. Heh.
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Old 10th April 2019, 06:58 AM   #78
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Originally Posted by fromdownunder View Post
From God herself.


Norm
God's not a girl. It's an out-of-control quantum pattern generator that's popping universes into existence at random in an alien lab. They're trying to pull the plug, but the damned thing now's drawing energy from those universes to keep itself going, which explains entropy.

You're welcome, physicists.
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Old 10th April 2019, 07:00 AM   #79
Belz...
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Originally Posted by Skeptic Ginger View Post
Well, guess I'll wander over to a Wiccan forum and see if Beelzebub is interested.
You called?
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Old 13th April 2019, 11:21 AM   #80
acbytesla
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Originally Posted by The Big Dog View Post
That is certainly blessed news.

Let us give glory to the Father
Through the Son
In the Holy Spirit,
For God has made us his people, his Church,
And calls us to sing his praises.

All honour and glory and thanks are his,
And praise and worship belong to him.
To God be glory in his Church
For ever and ever!

Amen!

Hallelujah hallelujah!
And may we all go ******* crazy..

Never mind that there is very little credible evidence that Jesus performed any miracles or that he was divine or that he even lived. The only extra biblical evidence comes from Josephus a whole century later and many man scholars believe that to he a later interpolation.

So now we are to praise the most wicked evil character in the bible? I'm talking about God, who is constantly either committing or ordering racism, sexism, cruelty and genocide throughout the book.

It's a good thing he doesn't exist.
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