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Old 5th October 2019, 07:35 AM   #1
ShortHaxYT
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"Faux-nerability"

You’ve seen it on Snapchat. Facebook. Instagram.

“I used to weigh 685 pounds. I hated myself. I was bullied. Life was very hard. Now I’m a millionaire life coach and I’ve completely turned my life around.”

Usually this includes one grainy photo of them when they were overweight and another of them today — shirtless, on the beach, smiling, with a beautiful spouse at their side.

At first glance this seems vulnerable. They’re peeling back the facade that they’ve always had their life together and showing a time when they weren’t so “perfect.” It seems to humanize them, make them relatable.

But think about what they’re actually doing.

They’re not vulnerable at all. They’re a success story — a complete, ends-tied narrative of failure to fame. They aren’t risking anything by showing you how they overcame their obstacles. What are you gonna say, “Wow, you used to be fat LOL”? That’ll roll right off their back because been there, done that. They already overcame that hurdle.

I’m not saying that overcoming obstacles means that you are never vulnerable when talking about them. I mean that 90% of the people who claim to be “vulnerable” online… aren’t.

Is admitting that they lost weight or made millions of dollars or had a total glow-up really going to stop these people from being successful? No. Their faux-nerability is, if anything, going to get them more money, more clients, more followers. If you have nothing to lose, are you really vulnerable?

I don’t think so.

Actual vulnerability requires an actual risk — the exposure of real weaknesses and flaws. It’s not vulnerable if sharing it can’t hurt you.

I hate it because there are so many truly emotional, vulnerable stories out there that people are sharing. So many people are actually opening up their hearts and exposing themselves to risks, and by no means should they be put in the same category as faux-nerable writers. It’s not the same thing.

There’s nothing wrong with telling stories that aren’t vulnerable. Every story serves its own purpose.

But then let’s not pretend that faux-nerable writers are really taking a risk by sharing theirs.
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Old 5th October 2019, 07:38 AM   #2
isissxn
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I would argue that anyone who puts themselves "out there" online, for any reason, is vulnerable. The internet is crazy, and people will attack you just for being there. Anyone with any sort of blog or channel is risking random doxxing, trolling, and other similar troubles, regardless of content.
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Old 5th October 2019, 07:39 AM   #3
ShortHaxYT
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Originally Posted by isissxn View Post
I would argue that anyone who puts themselves "out there" online, for any reason, is vulnerable. The internet is crazy, and people will attack you just for being there. Anyone with any sort of blog or channel is risking random doxxing, trolling, and other similar troubles, regardless of content.
I agree. Someone will always find something demeaning to expose you
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Old 5th October 2019, 03:17 PM   #4
mgidm86
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Originally Posted by ShortHaxYT View Post
You’ve seen it on Snapchat. Facebook. Instagram.

“I used to weigh 685 pounds. I hated myself. I was bullied. Life was very hard. Now I’m a millionaire life coach and I’ve completely turned my life around.”

Usually this includes one grainy photo of them when they were overweight and another of them today — shirtless, on the beach, smiling, with a beautiful spouse at their side.

At first glance this seems vulnerable. They’re peeling back the facade that they’ve always had their life together and showing a time when they weren’t so “perfect.” It seems to humanize them, make them relatable.

But think about what they’re actually doing.

They’re not vulnerable at all. They’re a success story — a complete, ends-tied narrative of failure to fame. They aren’t risking anything by showing you how they overcame their obstacles. What are you gonna say, “Wow, you used to be fat LOL”? That’ll roll right off their back because been there, done that. They already overcame that hurdle.

I’m not saying that overcoming obstacles means that you are never vulnerable when talking about them. I mean that 90% of the people who claim to be “vulnerable” online… aren’t.

Is admitting that they lost weight or made millions of dollars or had a total glow-up really going to stop these people from being successful? No. Their faux-nerability is, if anything, going to get them more money, more clients, more followers. If you have nothing to lose, are you really vulnerable?

I don’t think so.

Actual vulnerability requires an actual risk — the exposure of real weaknesses and flaws. It’s not vulnerable if sharing it can’t hurt you.

I hate it because there are so many truly emotional, vulnerable stories out there that people are sharing. So many people are actually opening up their hearts and exposing themselves to risks, and by no means should they be put in the same category as faux-nerable writers. It’s not the same thing.

There’s nothing wrong with telling stories that aren’t vulnerable. Every story serves its own purpose.

But then let’s not pretend that faux-nerable writers are really taking a risk by sharing theirs.

I have no idea what you are talking about but then I don't frequent those sites. I'm pretty sure I won't care either.
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Old 5th October 2019, 03:25 PM   #5
isissxn
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Originally Posted by mgidm86 View Post
I have no idea what you are talking about but then I don't frequent those sites. I'm pretty sure I won't care either.
Also this^
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Old 8th October 2019, 09:51 PM   #6
arthwollipot
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Originally Posted by ShortHaxYT View Post
You’ve seen it on Snapchat. Facebook. Instagram.

“I used to weigh 685 pounds. I hated myself. I was bullied. Life was very hard. Now I’m a millionaire life coach and I’ve completely turned my life around.”
This is pretty much the technique I encountered when I was part of an evangelical church. It's called "witnessing". You mention to a person how terrible your life was before you found Jesus, and how much better your life is now that you're "saved". It's a straight up-the-line emotional manipulation technique to try and get them to join your church and be "saved" too. The church I was part of had refined this technique to weapons grade.
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Old 9th October 2019, 11:55 AM   #7
blutoski
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Originally Posted by ShortHaxYT View Post
You’ve seen it on Snapchat. Facebook. Instagram.
And advertising for the last 300 years.


Originally Posted by ShortHaxYT View Post
“I used to weigh 685 pounds. I hated myself. I was bullied. Life was very hard. Now I’m a millionaire life coach and I’ve completely turned my life around.”

Usually this includes one grainy photo of them when they were overweight and another of them today — shirtless, on the beach, smiling, with a beautiful spouse at their side.

At first glance this seems vulnerable. ... [rest snipped for brevity]
I don't see it as an attempt to be 'vulnerable' so much as providing a before/after anecdote with oneself instead of just throwing out a list of satisfied customers or planting shills.

Snakeoil salesmen perfected this about 200 years ago.
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Last edited by blutoski; 9th October 2019 at 11:57 AM. Reason: editing original post to reduce clutter on my reply
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