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Old 26th November 2018, 08:01 PM   #161
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What is wrong with you people? This is how it's done, chumps.

NSFW, or in public in general:

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Old 26th November 2018, 08:58 PM   #162
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I like the direction this thread is going . Carry on.
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Old 27th November 2018, 03:14 AM   #163
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Originally Posted by Vixen View Post
So there we have it: the Coca-Cola Santa Claus we know today as 'Father Christmas', and as imagined by Baron, was designed by an American Finn.
Your own link says, "A Finnish American, Haddon Sundblom, solidified the image of modern, jolly American Santa with his famous Christmas illustrations for Coca-Cola in the 1930s"

In other words, the modern Santa existed long before the 1930s.

Father Christmas was never a goat. Say it until you believe it. Never a goat, Vixen, never a goat.
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Old 27th November 2018, 04:48 AM   #164
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I could send you guys to a couple of places where you'd likely be very surprised to see bears playing Santa. And they're quite well received by the clientele.
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Old 27th November 2018, 05:01 AM   #165
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Originally Posted by Foolmewunz View Post
I could send you guys to a couple of places where you'd likely be very surprised to see bears playing Santa. And they're quite well received by the clientele.
Sorry, that bar closed down a couple of years ago.
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Old 27th November 2018, 05:06 AM   #166
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Sorry, that bar closed down a couple of years ago.
Okay, then private parties, smartass!
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Old 27th November 2018, 08:59 AM   #167
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Originally Posted by Vixen View Post
Father Christmas is STILL Joulupukki = Christmas Goat in scandinavia.

https://inktank.fi/how-joulupukki-th...ughty-to-nice/
No, he may now be identified with Santa Claus, but not Father Christmas. You've demonstrated no link whatsoever between the Finnish tradition of the Yule goat (which merged with Santa Claus) and Father Christmas (which, separately was conflated with Santa Claus, probably earlier). This page, for example, shows Father Christmas riding a Yule goat, demonstrating they are separate entities.

Quote:
So there we have it: the Coca-Cola Santa Claus we know today as 'Father Christmas', and as imagined by Baron, was designed by an American Finn.
Again, unsurprisingly, nope.
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Old 27th November 2018, 09:22 AM   #168
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According to Ovid, the original Titans were Mnemosyne, Oceanus, Tethys, Crius, Rhea, Cronus, and Santa. Santa sided against the other Titans and was rewarded by the victorious Zeus by being transformed into a Swedish goat. Many stories of Santa as a trickster goat who can take human form exist, some versions of which can be found influencing everything from Arthurian legend (Sir Perivale and the Winter Goatman) to the Chinese Water-Margin Tales (Tale of the Red Bandit and the Bonze) to Shakespeare (Hamlet II: Fatty's Revengeance). Experts have linguistically analyzed the transmission of the myth and categorized it as Type IV b, a primitive sex allegory of Bene Gesserit origin. The figure of the fat magical man who is also a cunning goat is a standard archetype for gluttony, regicide, and sexual depravity in many cultures. There is a temple in Sumatra dedicated to Obese Goat Maniac, which is also the name of an awardwinning 1991 independent film featuring a young Helena Bonham Carter. In conclusion, Santa is a myth that persists worldwide in many different versions, none of which are more authoritative or authentic than any other, so just select and enjoy the versions you like best. Until the historical Santa returns, anyway, and destroys the world with his three giant laser penises as depicted in the Xmas documentary Legend of the Oversanta.
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Old 27th November 2018, 09:31 AM   #169
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Originally Posted by cullennz View Post
The last thing we need is Santa smashing the slay into some ones roof because she is still putting on her make-up on while driving.
Women slay drivers - no survivors.
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Old 27th November 2018, 09:33 AM   #170
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Originally Posted by Senex View Post
Women slay drivers - no survivors.
Sleigh, bitch.
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Old 27th November 2018, 09:33 AM   #171
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
According to Ovid, the original Titans were Mnemosyne, Oceanus, Tethys, Crius, Rhea, Cronus, and Santa. Santa sided against the other Titans and was rewarded by the victorious Zeus by being transformed into a Swedish goat. Many stories of Santa as a trickster goat who can take human form exist, some versions of which can be found influencing everything from Arthurian legend (Sir Perivale and the Winter Goatman) to the Chinese Water-Margin Tales (Tale of the Red Bandit and the Bonze) to Shakespeare (Hamlet II: Fatty's Revengeance). Experts have linguistically analyzed the transmission of the myth and categorized it as Type IV b, a primitive sex allegory of Bene Gesserit origin. The figure of the fat magical man who is also a cunning goat is a standard archetype for gluttony, regicide, and sexual depravity in many cultures. There is a temple in Sumatra dedicated to Obese Goat Maniac, which is also the name of an awardwinning 1991 independent film featuring a young Helena Bonham Carter. In conclusion, Santa is a myth that persists worldwide in many different versions, none of which are more authoritative or authentic than any other, so just select and enjoy the versions you like best. Until the historical Santa returns, anyway, and destroys the world with his three giant laser penises as depicted in the Xmas documentary Legend of the Oversanta.
So it seems you think that Santa can only be male? Sexist!!!
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Old 27th November 2018, 09:51 AM   #172
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
According to Ovid, the original Titans were Mnemosyne, Oceanus, Tethys, Crius, Rhea, Cronus, and Santa. Santa sided against the other Titans and was rewarded by the victorious Zeus by being transformed into a Swedish goat. Many stories of Santa as a trickster goat who can take human form exist, some versions of which can be found influencing everything from Arthurian legend (Sir Perivale and the Winter Goatman) to the Chinese Water-Margin Tales (Tale of the Red Bandit and the Bonze) to Shakespeare (Hamlet II: Fatty's Revengeance). Experts have linguistically analyzed the transmission of the myth and categorized it as Type IV b, a primitive sex allegory of Bene Gesserit origin. The figure of the fat magical man who is also a cunning goat is a standard archetype for gluttony, regicide, and sexual depravity in many cultures. There is a temple in Sumatra dedicated to Obese Goat Maniac, which is also the name of an awardwinning 1991 independent film featuring a young Helena Bonham Carter. In conclusion, Santa is a myth that persists worldwide in many different versions, none of which are more authoritative or authentic than any other, so just select and enjoy the versions you like best. Until the historical Santa returns, anyway, and destroys the world with his three giant laser penises as depicted in the Xmas documentary Legend of the Oversanta.

I'll take your Ovid and raise you Pan, Greek god of the wild, archetype of Wicked One, who had grottos all over the Hellenic empire. There is a key one on Mount Herman in the Golan Heights, of which Jesus famously said, 'the Gates of Hell shall not prevail', and is the source of the River Jordan. The key thing about this place is its deep red colour sandstone and a deep pit, into which bulls and animal sacrifices were thrown.

Quote:
In ancient Greek religion and mythology, Pan (/pæn/;[1] Ancient Greek: Πάν, Pan) is the god of the wild, shepherds and flocks, nature of mountain wilds, rustic music and impromptus, and companion of the nymphs.[2] He has the hindquarters, legs, and horns of a goat, in the same manner as a faun or satyr. With his homeland in rustic Arcadia, he is also recognized as the god of fields, groves, wooded glens and often affiliated with sex; because of this, Pan is connected to fertility and the season of spring. The ancient Greeks also considered Pan to be the god of theatrical criticism.[3] The word panic ultimately derives from the god's name.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pan_(god)

So, there we have it Q.E.D:: Santa Claus is based on an ancient goat god,who represents gluttony debauchery and all things immoderate, lascivious and excessive. He has gone from being an evil trickster bestial figure to a jovial Englishman in the image of Baron living in the home counties during the year and coming out at Christmas to startle little children and make them cry.
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Old 27th November 2018, 09:56 AM   #173
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Originally Posted by zooterkin View Post
No, he may now be identified with Santa Claus, but not Father Christmas. You've demonstrated no link whatsoever between the Finnish tradition of the Yule goat (which merged with Santa Claus) and Father Christmas (which, separately was conflated with Santa Claus, probably earlier). This page, for example, shows Father Christmas riding a Yule goat, demonstrating they are separate entities.


Again, unsurprisingly, nope.
1836 anthropomorphism. An 'artist's impression'.
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Old 27th November 2018, 04:08 PM   #174
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Originally Posted by Thermal View Post
Sleigh, bitch.
No. I was quoting and "slay" makes the joke funnier. Piker.
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Old 27th November 2018, 04:20 PM   #175
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Originally Posted by Senex View Post
No. I was quoting and "slay" makes the joke funnier. Piker.
'Slay, bitch' is an expression the cool kids use. I'm pretty street.

I was making a funny with 'slay' too.

I'll stop now
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Old 27th November 2018, 04:27 PM   #176
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You, the prisoners of the cave, only see shadows on the wall cast by True SantaTM. Come with me into the sun and witness Him in his true form.
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Old 27th November 2018, 04:42 PM   #177
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Originally Posted by Silly Green Monkey View Post
What's wrong with giving a Green Lantern ring to a female? Weren't there female Green Lanterns? Brown and white ones too?
Hell, the Green Lantern Corps is full of non Humans....
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Old 27th November 2018, 05:53 PM   #178
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Originally Posted by Sideroxylon View Post
You, the prisoners of the cave, only see shadows on the wall cast by True SantaTM. Come with me into the sun and witness Him in his true form.
Santa is the enemy of the sun! For he is the Vampire Queen, mighty mistress of ultimate darkness and penultimate blood-drinkery! With claws of iron and fangs of steel and eyeballs of tungsten and a tongue of antimony and clavicles of silicon and bedewed with glory like a doily dropped from a grand staircase, Santa rules the night and politically advises the dusk and writes crank letters to the daytime!!
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Old 27th November 2018, 06:14 PM   #179
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Originally Posted by Thermal View Post
'Slay, bitch' is an expression the cool kids use. I'm pretty street.

I was making a funny with 'slay' too.

I'll stop now
Please. You're talking to me? I was street before it was even a thing. Cool kids are always begging, borrowing or stealing my cool jive. I'm down with today's methods of discourse with the young.

Let's take your contributions to the thread...
Quote:
This is the World we are leaving to our children.
Ya know, I ran and got the lotion and tissues in anticipation of a bimbo in red lingerie with white trim named Nikki, and what do you have? Goats again. You are very, very sick.
With or without red lingerie?
What is wrong with you people? This is how it's done, chumps.
Sleigh, bitch.
'Slay, bitch' is an expression the cool kids use. I'm pretty street.

I was making a funny with 'slay' too.

I'll stop now
If you were street you would have written...

Dis be de Wo'ld we are leavin' t'our children. 'S coo', bro. Ya know, ah' ran and gots da damn loshun and tissues in anticipashun uh some bimbo in red lin'erie wid honky trim dojiggerd Nikki, and whut do ya' gotss'? Goats again. 'S coo', bro. You's are real, real sick. Wid o' widout red lin'erie? What be wrong wid ya' sucka's? Dis be how it's done, chumps. Sleigh, bitch. 'Slay, bitch' be an 'spression de cool kids use. What it is, Mama. Right On! I'm pretty street. I wuz makin' some funny wid 'slay' too. I'll stop now

Clearly I'm up to date with what is appropriate to jive with today's young. You are clearly not up with today's rhetoric.
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Old 27th November 2018, 06:35 PM   #180
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Nay, sirrah, 'tis I whom am conversant supreme with the youthful of these our times, forsooth. Like a owlface they are unto me, and the puissant condignity of mine prosody verily doth win true their hearts and loyalty. As coolsome as the very winter am I!
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Old 27th November 2018, 06:58 PM   #181
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Santa is the enemy of the sun! For he is the Vampire Queen, mighty mistress of ultimate darkness and penultimate blood-drinkery! With claws of iron and fangs of steel and eyeballs of tungsten and a tongue of antimony and clavicles of silicon and bedewed with glory like a doily dropped from a grand staircase, Santa rules the night and politically advises the dusk and writes crank letters to the daytime!!
Right there is a rather heavy stick to the opposing carrot in the Santa myth as a parenting tool.
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Old 27th November 2018, 07:07 PM   #182
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Santa is the enemy of the sun! For he is the Vampire Queen, mighty mistress of ultimate darkness and penultimate blood-drinkery! With claws of iron and fangs of steel and eyeballs of tungsten and a tongue of antimony and clavicles of silicon and bedewed with glory like a doily dropped from a grand staircase, Santa rules the night and politically advises the dusk and writes crank letters to the daytime!!
So you think that Santa can only be female??? Sexist!
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Old 27th November 2018, 07:16 PM   #183
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Originally Posted by Steve View Post
So you think that Santa can only be female??? Sexist!
Santa's sex is a confusing matter, since a) "his" physical form is manifested out of aether at "his" convenience and b) when "he" does take form "he" usually includes at least fifty or sixty sets of genitals of all nine sexes, most of which constantly spray acid or foaming blood. You may try to pigeonhole Santa (be assured, Santa will be pigeonholing you as well) but you can't succeed, for Santa is beyond mortal comprehension. We can only perceive within the limits of human imagination, and that is just enough to tell us that getting near any of that foaming blood is a bad idea.
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Old 27th November 2018, 07:49 PM   #184
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Originally Posted by Senex View Post
Please. You're talking to me? I was street before it was even a thing. Cool kids are always begging, borrowing or stealing my cool jive. I'm down with today's methods of discourse with the young.

Let's take your contributions to the thread...


If you were street you would have written...

Dis be de Wo'ld we are leavin' t'our children. 'S coo', bro. Ya know, ah' ran and gots da damn loshun and tissues in anticipashun uh some bimbo in red lin'erie wid honky trim dojiggerd Nikki, and whut do ya' gotss'? Goats again. 'S coo', bro. You's are real, real sick. Wid o' widout red lin'erie? What be wrong wid ya' sucka's? Dis be how it's done, chumps. Sleigh, bitch. 'Slay, bitch' be an 'spression de cool kids use. What it is, Mama. Right On! I'm pretty street. I wuz makin' some funny wid 'slay' too. I'll stop now

Clearly I'm up to date with what is appropriate to jive with today's young. You are clearly not up with today's rhetoric.
Imma jus' drop dis here, G. Ya knows it's coming...

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Old 27th November 2018, 08:17 PM   #185
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Santa's sex is a confusing matter, since a) "his" physical form is manifested out of aether at "his" convenience and b) when "he" does take form "he" usually includes at least fifty or sixty sets of genitals of all nine sexes, most of which constantly spray acid or foaming blood. You may try to pigeonhole Santa (be assured, Santa will be pigeonholing you as well) but you can't succeed, for Santa is beyond mortal comprehension. We can only perceive within the limits of human imagination, and that is just enough to tell us that getting near any of that foaming blood is a bad idea.
You're thinking of Satan. An easy mistake to make.
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Old 28th November 2018, 02:33 AM   #186
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At the end of the day, I think that some people here are far to irrationally connected to what gender and race the person in the suit is. It's really totally irrelevant and will effect nearly exactly zero people's lives if there is a black Santa or an Asia Santa, or a female one. Some posters just need to get over themselves and stop living in the past.
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Old 28th November 2018, 03:09 AM   #187
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
You're thinking of Satan. An easy mistake to make.
Was he the one who drove his car over a bridge with his girlfriend in the trunk?
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Old 28th November 2018, 03:17 AM   #188
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Originally Posted by cullennz View Post
You would have a point if the SJW's weren't such hypocrites

For example the outrage when they thought the person in the the new batwoman movie wasn't being played by a lesbian etc
Who are these SJW's you talk about? Is there a club? An official spokesperson?

I think you're making this all up.
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Old 28th November 2018, 03:28 AM   #189
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- Your windows are too tinted.

- No, they're not

- Oh, so I see. Well, since I'm here, let me search our car anyway...


I discover that there are a suprising number of videos on the internet with this narrative. A refusal to allow a search of the vehicle is met with 'you want me to get the dog' and an implicit threat of a four hour wait followed by the arrival of a dog desperate to please its handler.
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Old 28th November 2018, 04:58 AM   #190
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Originally Posted by 3point14 View Post
- Your windows are too tinted.

- No, they're not

- Oh, so I see. Well, since I'm here, let me search our car anyway...


I discover that there are a suprising number of videos on the internet with this narrative. A refusal to allow a search of the vehicle is met with 'you want me to get the dog' and an implicit threat of a four hour wait followed by the arrival of a dog desperate to please its handler.
And country Santas are the worst. They are a law unto themselves. I was stopped in central Queensland when this big old Santa squeezed himself out of the car and lumbered over to the window. When I asked him what the problem was he said I had a headlight out before cracking it with his long-handled batton.

I got a $250 fine out of it as well as a defect notice. What an arse hole some Santas can be.
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Old 28th November 2018, 05:00 AM   #191
3point14
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Originally Posted by Sideroxylon View Post
And country Santas are the worst. They are a law unto themselves. I was stopped in central Queensland when this big old Santa squeezed himself out of the car and lumbered over to the window. When I asked him what the problem was he said I had a headlight out before cracking it with his long-handled batton.

I got a $250 fine out of it as well as a defect notice. What an arse hole some Santas can be.

Goddamnit!
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Old 28th November 2018, 05:17 AM   #192
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Originally Posted by arthwollipot View Post
You're thinking of Satan. An easy mistake to make.
Oliver Cromwell would not have agreed with you. Santa=satan: down with enjoyment!
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Old 28th November 2018, 06:51 AM   #193
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Originally Posted by 3point14 View Post
Was he the one who drove his car over a bridge with his girlfriend in the trunk?
I was listening to 'Stan' when I read that. Funny old world.
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Old 28th November 2018, 07:37 AM   #194
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I have been working on the Santa enigma. Using the English alphabet, the name 'Santa Claus' translates to the numbers 19 1 14 20 3 12 1 21 19. That's a lot of 1s and 2s, so I dropped those, leaving the numbers 9 4 3 9. Or 9/4/39, meaning September 4th, 1939. According to Wikipedia only one event of significance occurred on that date: Nepal declared war on Germany. Nepal and Germany are both mountainous countries. What does Santa employ? Reindeer! Which are steeds, or 'mounts'. What is Nepal full of? Lamas! Similar to llamas, which are distant cousins to reindeer! But llamas are found in Peru, which in the edition of the board game Risk is colored blue. Blue is the opposite of red, which is Santa's iconic color! Red is also the color of communism! And guess which three countries have red in their flags? That's right: Germany, Nepal, and Peru. All mountainous, all with red in their flags, all with past communist activity. We're through the looking glass, people! Santa is the product of a secret alliance between communist movements in three apparently unconnected countries! QED.
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Old 28th November 2018, 07:54 AM   #195
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Thanks to Arlo Guthrie:

"The Pause of Mr. Claus"

Why do you sit there so strange?
Is it because you are beautiful?
You must think you are deranged
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?

You must think Santa Clause weird
He has long hair and a beard
Giving his presents for free
Why do police guys mess with peace guys?

Let's get Santa Clause 'cause;
Santa Clause has a red suit
He's a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What's in the pipe that he's smoking?

Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.
He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?
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Old 28th November 2018, 04:36 PM   #196
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The Goodies: Father Christmas do not Touch me.

https://youtu.be/hC3AphnJLbE
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Old 28th November 2018, 04:38 PM   #197
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
I have been working on the Santa enigma. Using the English alphabet, the name 'Santa Claus' translates to the numbers 19 1 14 20 3 12 1 21 19. That's a lot of 1s and 2s, so I dropped those, leaving the numbers 9 4 3 9. Or 9/4/39, meaning September 4th, 1939. According to Wikipedia only one event of significance occurred on that date: Nepal declared war on Germany. Nepal and Germany are both mountainous countries. What does Santa employ? Reindeer! Which are steeds, or 'mounts'. What is Nepal full of? Lamas! Similar to llamas, which are distant cousins to reindeer! But llamas are found in Peru, which in the edition of the board game Risk is colored blue. Blue is the opposite of red, which is Santa's iconic color! Red is also the color of communism! And guess which three countries have red in their flags? That's right: Germany, Nepal, and Peru. All mountainous, all with red in their flags, all with past communist activity. We're through the looking glass, people! Santa is the product of a secret alliance between communist movements in three apparently unconnected countries! QED.
All right, all right, you've cracked the code. Santa is part of the Illuminati. Lizards ruling from inside mountains.
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Old 28th November 2018, 05:36 PM   #198
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https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/a...ectid=12168358
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Old 28th November 2018, 05:51 PM   #199
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Originally Posted by Steve View Post
So you think that Santa can only be female??? Sexist!
" "I feel just like Santa Claus, except thinner and younger and female and, well, Jewish." "

Willow Rosenburg, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".
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Old 28th November 2018, 06:49 PM   #200
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Originally Posted by cullennz View Post
How do you feel about it?

I enjoy the subversiveness against cultural idols of it. It is the same kind of appeal as Monty Python and punk rock.
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