IS Forum
Forum Index Register Members List Events Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Help

Go Back   International Skeptics Forum » General Topics » Religion and Philosophy
 


Welcome to the International Skeptics Forum, where we discuss skepticism, critical thinking, the paranormal and science in a friendly but lively way. You are currently viewing the forum as a guest, which means you are missing out on discussing matters that are of interest to you. Please consider registering so you can gain full use of the forum features and interact with other Members. Registration is simple, fast and free! Click here to register today.
Reply
Old 22nd June 2011, 07:56 AM   #1
Gaetan
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 5,186
What the Holy Spirit does

New American Standard Bible

John 14.25 “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.

The Holy Spirit help us against the threats of other spirits, teach us, and have us remember what we forget. The Holy Spirit is our companion in our life and we shall not forget to be grateful and say tanks to him.
Gaetan is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 07:57 AM   #2
AdMan
Penultimate Amazing
 
AdMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 10,293
He doesn't exist, so he does none of that.
__________________
As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities.
- Voltaire.
AdMan is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 07:58 AM   #3
AvalonXQ
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 11,831
Originally Posted by Gaetan View Post
New American Standard Bible

John 14.25 “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.

The Holy Spirit help us against the threats of other spirits, teach us, and have us remember what we forget. The Holy Spirit is our companion in our life and we shall not forget to be grateful and say tanks to him.
I agree. The Spirit is an important part of our day-to-day lives, and is God. We should not forget His equal place in our lives and worship.
AvalonXQ is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 07:59 AM   #4
I Am The Scum
Philosopher
 
I Am The Scum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 5,108
I ain't afraid of no ghost.
I Am The Scum is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:01 AM   #5
Monketi Ghost
Confusion Reactor
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 25,141
Good thing 'cause our posts are touching.
Monketi Ghost is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:03 AM   #6
Lothian
should be banned
 
Lothian's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Earth, specifically the crusty bit on the outside
Posts: 19,364
What the Holy Spirit does.

He rapes virgins.
Lothian is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:08 AM   #7
Monketi Ghost
Confusion Reactor
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 25,141
oops!
Monketi Ghost is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:09 AM   #8
Maddparrot
Student
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 37
Umm, okay.
Mk II Matilda, Panzer III, M26 Pershing, Char 2C, PT-76, M1A2 Abrams.

I do feel a bit silly saying anything to a mythical figure.
Maddparrot is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:12 AM   #9
AvalonXQ
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 11,831
Originally Posted by Maddparrot View Post
Umm, okay.
Mk II Matilda, Panzer III, M26 Pershing, Char 2C, PT-76, M1A2 Abrams.
Surely He deserves more tanks than that.

He's a helper for 2000 years, and that's the tanks that He gets?
AvalonXQ is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:15 AM   #10
kbm99
Critical Thinker
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 271
Originally Posted by Maddparrot View Post
Umm, okay.
Mk II Matilda, Panzer III, M26 Pershing, Char 2C, PT-76, M1A2 Abrams.

I do feel a bit silly saying anything to a mythical figure.
*Someone's* been playing World of Tanks too much . . .
kbm99 is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:15 AM   #11
Weak Kitten
Graduate Poster
 
Weak Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,909
Fine, when the Holy Spirit speaks to me I will listen.

Until then I refuse to pretend to have beliefs I do not actually have. After all, isn't lying a sin? Wouldn't lying about your relationship with and belief in God be the biggest sin imaginable?
__________________
A quick reminder to all participants that although incomprehensibility is not against the Membership Agreement, incivility is. Please try and remember this, and keep your exchanges polite and respectful. -arthwollipot
Weak Kitten is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:20 AM   #12
Maddparrot
Student
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by AvalonXQ View Post
Surely He deserves more tanks than that.

He's a helper for 2000 years, and that's the tanks that He gets?
Well, I did not want a post bogged down by a large list of tanks.

Originally Posted by kbm99 View Post
*Someone's* been playing World of Tanks too much . . .
Metal Saga, an RPG where you go about the world in tanks.
Maddparrot is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:24 AM   #13
Loss Leader
I would save the receptionist.
Moderator
 
Loss Leader's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 28,352
Originally Posted by Gaetan View Post
The Holy Spirit help us against the threats of other spirits, teach us, and have us remember what we forget. The Holy Spirit is our companion in our life and we shall not forget to be grateful and say tanks to him.

I had always thought that the Holy Spirit's job was to help make monotheism acceptable to pagans who were used to a trinity of gods. Pagans wanted to worship three things; early christians had two at best; they invented a third god.

I had never heard any historical evidence that the Holy Spirit had any purpose beyond that.
__________________
I have the honor to be
Your Obdt. St

L. Leader
Loss Leader is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:25 AM   #14
hgc
Penultimate Amazing
 
hgc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 15,892
Originally Posted by Weak Kitten View Post
Fine, when the Holy Spirit speaks to me I will listen.

Holy Spirit is old fashioned -- wants you to make the first move.
hgc is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:43 AM   #15
Aitch
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,723
What the Holy Spirit does...

...gives you a righteous hangover?
Aitch is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 08:44 AM   #16
Resume
Troublesome Passenger
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 21,844
Holy Spirit does exactly nothing, which is exactly what you'd expect from a non-existent entity.
Resume is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 09:01 AM   #17
Alice Shortcake
Graduate Poster
 
Alice Shortcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,134
"Denying the Holy Spirit" is apparently one of the worst things you can do.

I DENY THE HOLY SPIRIT!

*waits to be struck dead by the wrath of Heaven*

Nah, move on. There's nothing to see here.
__________________
Proud member of the Debunkly Skerricks Pack
Alice Shortcake is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 09:02 AM   #18
kedo1981
Master Poster
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 2,600
Provide Christians with made up justifications to proceed with their own desires.
kedo1981 is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 09:07 AM   #19
Sun Countess
Appearance of intelligence
 
Sun Countess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,154
Originally Posted by Gaetan View Post
The Holy Spirit help us against the threats of other spirits, teach us, and have us remember what we forget. The Holy Spirit is our companion in our life and we shall not forget to be grateful and say tanks to him.
Why does it seem that only believers are threatened by spirits? I have never been threatened by any spirits, and I have not been touched by any holy spirits.
Originally Posted by Lothian View Post
He rapes virgins.
Oh yes. Which is why he apparently deserves a lot of praise. Maybe not as much as that genocidal misogynistic homophobe of a father/triplet, but apparently, raping virgins merits respect in some circles.


eta: The holy spirit is also said to guide believers in their proper understanding of the scriptrues, but he doesn't seem to send a consistent message.
Sun Countess is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 09:32 AM   #20
dafydd
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 35,398
Ardbeg Corryvreckan whisky is the holy spirit.
dafydd is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 09:33 AM   #21
dafydd
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 35,398
Originally Posted by Alice Shortcake View Post
"Denying the Holy Spirit" is apparently one of the worst things you can do.

I DENY THE HOLY SPIRIT!

*waits to be struck dead by the wrath of Heaven*

Nah, move on. There's nothing to see here.
I TOO DENY THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!!....... no,nobody there. Next fairytale please.
dafydd is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 09:36 AM   #22
NavyPack
Scholar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 113
Should we be calling it a "he"?

I know it impregnated the tween-aged girl, but wasn't it just transporting goddafadder's own special-formula, (man & ~man) making sperm?
NavyPack is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 09:41 AM   #23
Craig4
Penultimate Amazing
 
Craig4's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I live in a swamp
Posts: 27,712
Tell you what. Why don't you find us the most uneducated, backwoods, ignorant hick Pentacostal (have seizures, flop of floor speak in tongues, sort of Christian Sufi's) you can get. I'm talking about real salt of the earth morons. Have them get overcome by your spirit thingy. Then we'll have them read a passage from the bible written in say Amharic or ancient Greek. We'll see if this spirit performs as advertised.
Craig4 is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:12 PM   #24
TimCallahan
Philosopher
 
TimCallahan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6,293
Originally Posted by AvalonXQ View Post
I agree. The Spirit is an important part of our day-to-day lives, and is God. We should not forget His equal place in our lives and worship.
Okay, how would you demonstrate the existence of such an entity? How would you go about demonstrating how the world's history reflects the protection of the Holy Spirit?
TimCallahan is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:22 PM   #25
Manopolus
Metaphorical Anomaly
 
Manopolus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Brownbackistan
Posts: 8,054
So why does this "holy spirit" tell one man one thing and the other guy something else entirely? Maybe he ought to take a break and get his story straight first.
Manopolus is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:24 PM   #26
Ron_Tomkins
Satan's Helper
 
Ron_Tomkins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 44,024
Originally Posted by Gaetan View Post
New American Standard Bible

John 14.25 “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.

The Holy Spirit help us against the threats of other spirits, teach us, and have us remember what we forget. The Holy Spirit is our companion in our life and we shall not forget to be grateful and say tanks to him.
Cool story, bro.
__________________
"I am a collection of water, calcium and organic molecules called Carl Sagan"

Carl Sagan
Ron_Tomkins is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:40 PM   #27
Bikewer
Penultimate Amazing
 
Bikewer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: St. Louis, Mo.
Posts: 13,231
I have my own vision of the Trinity hanging in Heaven...
GTF (Daddy) and JC are playing chess. Through a Miracle Of Faith... Neither one ever looses, they both win every game.
The little flappy dove guy flutters around their heads, offering pithy advice.
"Pawn to Q7 check! Pawn to Q7 check!"
He has a rather squawky parrot-like voice.
Eternal bliss.
Bikewer is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:43 PM   #28
ZirconBlue
Sole Survivor of L-Town
 
ZirconBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Lexington, KY, USA, Earth
Posts: 15,149
Originally Posted by AvalonXQ View Post
I agree. The Spirit is an important part of our day-to-day lives, and is God. We should not forget His equal place in our lives and worship.

"Our"?
__________________
Religion and sex are powerplays.
Manipulate the people for the money they pay.
Selling skin, selling God
The numbers look the same on their credit cards.
ZirconBlue is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:51 PM   #29
Weak Kitten
Graduate Poster
 
Weak Kitten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,909
Originally Posted by hgc View Post
Holy Spirit is old fashioned -- wants you to make the first move.
But then I would have to pretend that I believe, and that would be lying! And lying's a sin, and the Holy Spirit will not approach a sinful person!

Hmm, I think we have a problem here.
__________________
A quick reminder to all participants that although incomprehensibility is not against the Membership Agreement, incivility is. Please try and remember this, and keep your exchanges polite and respectful. -arthwollipot
Weak Kitten is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:56 PM   #30
ZirconBlue
Sole Survivor of L-Town
 
ZirconBlue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Lexington, KY, USA, Earth
Posts: 15,149
I think the Holy Spirit's job is to watch us masturbate.
__________________
Religion and sex are powerplays.
Manipulate the people for the money they pay.
Selling skin, selling God
The numbers look the same on their credit cards.
ZirconBlue is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 12:58 PM   #31
Ron_Tomkins
Satan's Helper
 
Ron_Tomkins's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 44,024
Originally Posted by ZirconBlue View Post
I think the Holy Spirit's job is to watch us masturbate.
As long as the holy spirit is a she, is hot, and is willing to occasionally assist me on that endeavor, I do not complain.
__________________
"I am a collection of water, calcium and organic molecules called Carl Sagan"

Carl Sagan
Ron_Tomkins is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 01:02 PM   #32
AdMan
Penultimate Amazing
 
AdMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 10,293
Originally Posted by NavyPack View Post
Should we be calling it a "he"?

I know it impregnated the tween-aged girl, but wasn't it just transporting goddafadder's own special-formula, (man & ~man) making sperm?

You may be right, you really can't tell if it's a he or she under the sheet.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/shop/holy_trinity.html
__________________
As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities.
- Voltaire.
AdMan is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 02:43 PM   #33
Dunstan
Illuminator
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,289
Originally Posted by Loss Leader View Post
I had always thought that the Holy Spirit's job was to help make monotheism acceptable to pagans who were used to a trinity of gods. Pagans wanted to worship three things; early christians had two at best; they invented a third god.
Not that I'm terribly familiar with paganism, but that's a new one on me. Any sources?

Originally Posted by dafydd View Post
Ardbeg Corryvreckan whisky is the holy spirit.
It's certainly "a" holy one. I'm not sure I'd put it above Lagavulin, but it is damn heavenly.
Dunstan is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 03:06 PM   #34
Kid Eager
Philosopher
 
Kid Eager's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 7,296
Doncha just love drive-by postings?
__________________
What do Narwhals, Magnets and Apollo 13 have in common? Think about it....
Kid Eager is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 03:20 PM   #35
AvalonXQ
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 11,831
Originally Posted by ZirconBlue View Post
I think the Holy Spirit's job is to watch us masturbate.
You're thinking of Ceiling Cat. Easy mistake.
AvalonXQ is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 04:09 PM   #36
dio
Thinker
 
dio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 232
Originally Posted by Gaetan View Post
New American Standard Bible

The Holy Spirit help us against the threats of other spirits, teach us, and have us remember what we forget.

Ah, the good old Christian principle of dumping your guilt on somebody else, now improved to cover not only your actions, but your thoughts also.

Bad thoughts? It's the "other spirits."

Good thoughts? That's the Holy Spirit.


I'm mildly curious, what exactly did the Holy Spirit teach you?
dio is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 04:18 PM   #37
AdMan
Penultimate Amazing
 
AdMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 10,293
Originally Posted by dio View Post
I'm mildly curious, what exactly did the Holy Spirit teach you?

Maybe this.
__________________
As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities.
- Voltaire.
AdMan is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 04:26 PM   #38
autumn1971
Illuminator
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,328
Originally Posted by Craig4 View Post
Tell you what. Why don't you find us the most uneducated, backwoods, ignorant hick Pentacostal (have seizures, flop of floor speak in tongues, sort of Christian Sufi's) you can get. I'm talking about real salt of the earth morons. Have them get overcome by your spirit thingy. Then we'll have them read a passage from the bible written in say Amharic or ancient Greek. We'll see if this spirit performs as advertised.
That's actually a really good idea.
__________________
'A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggardly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, superservicable, finical rogue;... the son and heir of a mongral bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition."'
-The Bard
autumn1971 is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 05:58 PM   #39
ServiceSoon
Graduate Poster
 
ServiceSoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,745
You atheist sure are fun(ny)!

Originally Posted by Manopolus View Post
So why does this "holy spirit" tell one man one thing and the other guy something else entirely? Maybe he ought to take a break and get his story straight first.
The holy spirit works through the unconscious mind.
ServiceSoon is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 22nd June 2011, 06:05 PM   #40
Kid Eager
Philosopher
 
Kid Eager's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 7,296
Originally Posted by ServiceSoon View Post
The holy spirit works through the unconscious mind.
how?
__________________
What do Narwhals, Magnets and Apollo 13 have in common? Think about it....
Kid Eager is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Reply

International Skeptics Forum » General Topics » Religion and Philosophy

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:03 AM.
Powered by vBulletin. Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

This forum began as part of the James Randi Education Foundation (JREF). However, the forum now exists as
an independent entity with no affiliation with or endorsement by the JREF, including the section in reference to "JREF" topics.

Disclaimer: Messages posted in the Forum are solely the opinion of their authors.