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22nd June 2011, 07:56 AM | #1 |
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What the Holy Spirit does
New American Standard Bible
John 14.25 “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. The Holy Spirit help us against the threats of other spirits, teach us, and have us remember what we forget. The Holy Spirit is our companion in our life and we shall not forget to be grateful and say tanks to him. |
22nd June 2011, 07:57 AM | #2 |
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He doesn't exist, so he does none of that.
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22nd June 2011, 07:58 AM | #3 |
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22nd June 2011, 07:59 AM | #4 |
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I ain't afraid of no ghost.
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22nd June 2011, 08:01 AM | #5 |
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Good thing 'cause our posts are touching.
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22nd June 2011, 08:03 AM | #6 |
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What the Holy Spirit does.
He rapes virgins.
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22nd June 2011, 08:08 AM | #7 |
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oops!
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22nd June 2011, 08:09 AM | #8 |
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Umm, okay.
Mk II Matilda, Panzer III, M26 Pershing, Char 2C, PT-76, M1A2 Abrams. I do feel a bit silly saying anything to a mythical figure. |
22nd June 2011, 08:12 AM | #9 |
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22nd June 2011, 08:15 AM | #10 |
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22nd June 2011, 08:15 AM | #11 |
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Fine, when the Holy Spirit speaks to me I will listen.
Until then I refuse to pretend to have beliefs I do not actually have. After all, isn't lying a sin? Wouldn't lying about your relationship with and belief in God be the biggest sin imaginable? |
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A quick reminder to all participants that although incomprehensibility is not against the Membership Agreement, incivility is. Please try and remember this, and keep your exchanges polite and respectful. -arthwollipot |
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22nd June 2011, 08:20 AM | #12 |
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22nd June 2011, 08:24 AM | #13 |
I would save the receptionist.
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I had always thought that the Holy Spirit's job was to help make monotheism acceptable to pagans who were used to a trinity of gods. Pagans wanted to worship three things; early christians had two at best; they invented a third god. I had never heard any historical evidence that the Holy Spirit had any purpose beyond that. |
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22nd June 2011, 08:25 AM | #14 |
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22nd June 2011, 08:43 AM | #15 |
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What the Holy Spirit does...
...gives you a righteous hangover? |
22nd June 2011, 08:44 AM | #16 |
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Holy Spirit does exactly nothing, which is exactly what you'd expect from a non-existent entity.
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22nd June 2011, 09:01 AM | #17 |
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"Denying the Holy Spirit" is apparently one of the worst things you can do.
I DENY THE HOLY SPIRIT! *waits to be struck dead by the wrath of Heaven* Nah, move on. There's nothing to see here. |
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22nd June 2011, 09:02 AM | #18 |
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Provide Christians with made up justifications to proceed with their own desires.
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22nd June 2011, 09:07 AM | #19 |
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Why does it seem that only believers are threatened by spirits? I have never been threatened by any spirits, and I have not been touched by any holy spirits.
Oh yes. Which is why he apparently deserves a lot of praise. Maybe not as much as that genocidal misogynistic homophobe of a father/triplet, but apparently, raping virgins merits respect in some circles. eta: The holy spirit is also said to guide believers in their proper understanding of the scriptrues, but he doesn't seem to send a consistent message. |
22nd June 2011, 09:32 AM | #20 |
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Ardbeg Corryvreckan whisky is the holy spirit.
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22nd June 2011, 09:33 AM | #21 |
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22nd June 2011, 09:36 AM | #22 |
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Should we be calling it a "he"?
I know it impregnated the tween-aged girl, but wasn't it just transporting goddafadder's own special-formula, (man & ~man) making sperm? |
22nd June 2011, 09:41 AM | #23 |
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Tell you what. Why don't you find us the most uneducated, backwoods, ignorant hick Pentacostal (have seizures, flop of floor speak in tongues, sort of Christian Sufi's) you can get. I'm talking about real salt of the earth morons. Have them get overcome by your spirit thingy. Then we'll have them read a passage from the bible written in say Amharic or ancient Greek. We'll see if this spirit performs as advertised.
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22nd June 2011, 12:12 PM | #24 |
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22nd June 2011, 12:22 PM | #25 |
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So why does this "holy spirit" tell one man one thing and the other guy something else entirely? Maybe he ought to take a break and get his story straight first.
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22nd June 2011, 12:24 PM | #26 |
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"I am a collection of water, calcium and organic molecules called Carl Sagan" Carl Sagan |
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22nd June 2011, 12:40 PM | #27 |
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I have my own vision of the Trinity hanging in Heaven...
GTF (Daddy) and JC are playing chess. Through a Miracle Of Faith... Neither one ever looses, they both win every game. The little flappy dove guy flutters around their heads, offering pithy advice. "Pawn to Q7 check! Pawn to Q7 check!" He has a rather squawky parrot-like voice. Eternal bliss. |
22nd June 2011, 12:43 PM | #28 |
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God The numbers look the same on their credit cards. |
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22nd June 2011, 12:51 PM | #29 |
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A quick reminder to all participants that although incomprehensibility is not against the Membership Agreement, incivility is. Please try and remember this, and keep your exchanges polite and respectful. -arthwollipot |
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22nd June 2011, 12:56 PM | #30 |
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I think the Holy Spirit's job is to watch us masturbate.
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God The numbers look the same on their credit cards. |
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22nd June 2011, 12:58 PM | #31 |
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"I am a collection of water, calcium and organic molecules called Carl Sagan" Carl Sagan |
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22nd June 2011, 01:02 PM | #32 |
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You may be right, you really can't tell if it's a he or she under the sheet. http://www.thebricktestament.com/shop/holy_trinity.html |
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As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities. - Voltaire. |
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22nd June 2011, 02:43 PM | #33 |
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22nd June 2011, 03:06 PM | #34 |
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Doncha just love drive-by postings?
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What do Narwhals, Magnets and Apollo 13 have in common? Think about it.... |
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22nd June 2011, 03:20 PM | #35 |
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You're thinking of Ceiling Cat. Easy mistake.
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22nd June 2011, 04:09 PM | #36 |
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Ah, the good old Christian principle of dumping your guilt on somebody else, now improved to cover not only your actions, but your thoughts also. Bad thoughts? It's the "other spirits." Good thoughts? That's the Holy Spirit. I'm mildly curious, what exactly did the Holy Spirit teach you? |
22nd June 2011, 04:26 PM | #38 |
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'A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggardly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, glass-gazing, superservicable, finical rogue;... the son and heir of a mongral bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition."' -The Bard |
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22nd June 2011, 05:58 PM | #39 |
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You atheist sure are fun(ny)!
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22nd June 2011, 06:05 PM | #40 |
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What do Narwhals, Magnets and Apollo 13 have in common? Think about it.... |
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