Expiration Dates: Life Saving Information, Or Cheap Ploy to Get Me to Buy More Salmon

Hello,
As a computer programmer and guitarist, I find I have little time to conduct scientific experiments. So as I was recently able to do so, I figured I'd post it for your enjoyment.

The other night, I found myself feeling a bit hungry. It was roughly 2AM, and the only edible food in the house (not counting packets of soy sauce), was a smoked fillet of Salmon that I had purchased several years ago.

I had originally avoided eating it because, as the son of English parents, my cooking skills are generally something more appropriately applied to reality shows like "Jackass" than to obtaining actual sustenance.

Seeing no options other than the Salmon, I decided to give it a try. As I only get hungry enough to eat once a day as it is - actually being hungry is something I take pretty seriously. And with a weight of 119 lbs (and a height of 5'8") - that seems wise.

Unfortunately, upon closer examination the Salmon's expiration date read "March 04". With something like Salmon, this seems like information one should take pretty seriously.

But then it occurred to me that many expiration dates are preceded with the phrase "Best Before...". That's a bit more informative than "Expiration Date". I began to wonder if there wasn't some sort of marketing decision behind couching a suggestion appropriate for taste, to read "Expiration Date" instead. Was it akin to the suggestion to wash, rinse, repeat? Something they'd like me to do, but that could be ignored without incurring fatal consequences?

Throwing caution to the wind, I put my hypothesis that I might actually survive eating 4 year expired Salmon to the test. I sent an email to my neighbour to enter my apartment if they hadn't heard from me the next day, in case the experiment was a failure. I figured I had a few odds in my favour, as the salmon was both vacuum packed, and been in the freezer since I bought it.

Well, I ate the Salmon - and not only am I alive; but I didn't even get marginally sick.

I don't suppose this proves conclusively that expiration dates are "a conspiracy" against bachelors - but not proving things conclusively is what conspiracy theories are all about, yes? And, unlike most conspiracy theories, this is one that paranoid people can easily test in their own homes. I thought they'd enjoy that. Well, at least initially...

Personally, I'd be much happier with holding a "9/11 was an inside job" or "The White Man is keeping the Black Man down" conspiracy theory. But I've seen the behaviour of both the Bush Administration, and White People (including but not limited to eating long expired salmon) - and I just can't convince myself either group is sufficiently organized to carry out any kind of conspiracy. Frankly, I'm still pretty impressed at how many from both groups have simply managed to live to adulthood.

I'm just proposing The Salmon Expiration Date Conspiracy Theory because I don't want to feel left out.

Best Before dates are generally the shelf life of the product plus a bit. Shops should not sell a product after the Best Before. Freezing increases that lifetime, but even so goods will degrade and sometimes you'll find both a frozen and unfrozen date on the goods. Had you not frozen the packet, I doubt it would have been anywhere close to edible.

But what do I know, I'm an NWO shill.

Dunno about the salmon industry... but lemme tell ya, I thought that about milk and took a sniff once...

ElMondoHummus said:

Dunno about the salmon industry... but lemme tell ya, I thought that about milk and took a sniff once...

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I try to think of sour milk as "very fresh cheese". As someone who doesn't much like milk or cheese though - I usually let it sit there until it becomes, "Unpleasant Smelling Plaster of Paris". At that point, not being a sculptor - I feel comfortable throwing it out.

I spent a great deal of my life in abject poverty - so I find it very difficult to throw out food, or even something which could potentially be food one day. But art supplies? Yeah - those I can throw out.

Well smoking meat is a time honoured way of preserving it - so perhaps the use by date refered to taste, rather than spoliage. A few years ago a 70 year old jar of vegemite was found, tests showed, aside from no taste - even after that period of time there was nothing in the contents that could kill or even make you sick > cue vegemite jokes at will

ElMondoHummus said:

Dunno about the salmon industry... but lemme tell ya, I thought that about milk and took a sniff once...

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Here is the dairy tip of the day: Look for Ultra Pasteurized Milk, usually part of the organic offering. It lasts months, not weeks and is a good value if you find that you throw out more milk than you consume.

ElMondoHummus said:

Dunno about the salmon industry... but lemme tell ya, I thought that about milk and took a sniff once...

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Yeah, well, this past summer I stumbled into the kitchen, opened the fridge and found a can of whipped cream right up front. Naturally, I grabbed it, tipped it up and spayed a bunch of that nectar into my mouth. My face went numb as I swallowed half and spewed the other half out as I gagged...and I realized that I hadn't bought whipped cream in a loooooong time. I checked the expiration date...Jan 2004 (as it turned out, my mother had dropped it off earlier that day - she found it in her fridge and thought I might use it... that was her story anyway).

I still haven't gotten that rancid taste out of my mouth. So, yes, the expiration date can be very useful if you bother to read it before consuming the contents.

to the OP: freezing made the difference. But, I'll bet it didn't taste like much after that long frozen.

Reality Believer said:

Here is the dairy tip of the day: Look for Ultra Pasteurized Milk, usually part of the organic offering. It lasts months, not weeks and is a good value if you find that you throw out more milk than you consume.

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Even better - soy milk. It'll last for months in the fridge unopened and for weeks after opening.

Heard a program on the radio other day talking about certain classic foodstuffs, such as worcester sauce.

The comment was made by the interviewer that the sauce seems to get better with age but that the bottles always had a 'use by' date on them, which seemed odd. The manufacturer agreed and said it was a regulatory requirement that they put a 'use by' date on the packaging even though the product itself was safe to use for a long time after said date.

At the end of the day, I suppose it's a nice cop out by the manufacturer to claim they are just complying with regulations when in fact it doesn't hurt their business to have people throw away unfinished bottles of their sauce and buy new ones even though the product is still safe. It also protects them from an insurance/litigation point of view.

Now, who wants a bloody mary?.....

The though of eating something that has been dead for over 4 years is too steep a psychological mountain for me.

Jonnyclueless said:

The though of eating something that has been dead for over 4 years is too steep a psychological mountain for me.

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Does that apply to wine?

Reality Believer said:

Here is the dairy tip of the day: Look for Ultra Pasteurized Milk, usually part of the organic offering. It lasts months, not weeks and is a good value if you find that you throw out more milk than you consume.

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Actually, ever since I've been using the lactose free stuff, the milk doesn't seem to go bad anywhere near as fast. Lactaid is indeed ultra-pasteurized, which rocks. That stuff keeps forevuh. And lemme tell ya, I neeeeeed the lactose free stuff.

Oh, BTW: This whole thing about lactose intolerant people not being able to process lactose... I don't think that's the whole story. My body sure as hell processes it, lemme tell ya!

madurobob said:

Even better - soy milk. It'll last for months in the fridge unopened and for weeks after opening.

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Call me animal-prejudiced, but when it no longer comes from a cow, I have trouble wanting to drink it.

Oh, just to stay on topic, I once had a can of salmon that was what, 4 years old or so. Problem is, despite the fact it was canned, I just didn't have the guts to try it.

I've had old fish before that wasn't old enough to make me sick, but was old enough to just taste nasty. I didn't want to run any risks with 4-some year old salmon. I really doubt I would've gotten sick, but I've retched for far less than actually spoiled food before.

Yeah, I've had some nasty stuff in my day. You think it's a good idea at the time, but then reality sets in...

I remember once seeing two consignments of a product that may or may not be a cake from the same production run but one going to the UK supermarkets and one going to Australia. The ones going to Australia had a "best before" 3 months later than the UK ones.

Now we all know the Aussies are a most refined people so it can't be because they wouldn't have known a stale "may be a cake" from a fresh one so perhaps there is some substance to thinking that some manufacturers may manipulate the "best before" dates for something other than reasons of food freshness and food safety.

ElMondoHummus said:

Call me animal-prejudiced, but when it no longer comes from a cow, I have trouble wanting to drink it.

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You are certainly not alone. Me, I have a problem drinking something genetically engineered to be an infant formula for cows. We don't need to go into all the other stuff in milk these days... because, frankly, you'd never catch me eating soy-based ice cream - blecho!

madurobob said:

... soy-based ice cream...

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Iiiiick! (*Shudders*)

uk_dave said:

Does that apply to wine?

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Or good Scotch?

ElMondoHummus said:

Oh, BTW: This whole thing about lactose intolerant people not being able to process lactose... I don't think that's the whole story. My body sure as hell processes it, lemme tell ya!

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IANAD, but lactose intolerant (to the best of my understanding) is that you cannot digest [breakdown] the lactose into simpler sugars so it passes into the gut where it can't be absorbed but the gut bacteria can break it down and have a field day with all that sugar.

I am in danger of being snoped out but wasn't there honey that was 1000s of years old that was edible?

fezzic said:

IANAD, but lactose intolerant (to the best of my understanding) is that you cannot digest [breakdown] the lactose into simpler sugars so it passes into the gut where it can't be absorbed but the gut bacteria can break it down and have a field day with all that sugar.

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Yah, that's it in a nutshell...Lactase deficiency would be a more accurate term for it, in terms of causation. Nasty, and hard to distinguish clinically from IBS.

TAM

fezzic said:

IANAD, but lactose intolerant (to the best of my understanding) is that you cannot digest [breakdown] the lactose into simpler sugars so it passes into the gut where it can't be absorbed but the gut bacteria can break it down and have a field day with all that sugar.

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Oh, yeah, I know. I found all that info on the internet .

Yeah, TAM's right. I take lactase pills to help alleviate the symptoms. Problem is, I don't get 100% alleviation. Still though... hard to turn away good ice cream, pizza (the cheese, you know... as a funny digression, I'd swear that some restaurants either don't use real cheese on their products, or use something lacking lactose, because I don't suffer when I eat their stuff).

But oi! The aftermath!

Darat said:

I remember once seeing two consignments of a product that may or may not be a cake from the same production run but one going to the UK supermarkets and one going to Australia. The ones going to Australia had a "best before" 3 months later than the UK ones.

Now we all know the Aussies are a most refined people so it can't be because they wouldn't have known a stale "may be a cake" from a fresh one so perhaps there is some substance to thinking that some manufacturers may manipulate the "best before" dates for something other than reasons of food freshness and food safety.

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Well you see Australians wouldn't buy the stuff, we would buy a real cake. They probably are trying to increase their chance for making money.

Unfortunately the poms still don't seem to have learned the joys of cooking.

I came home from my holiday to discover no less than 12 (count them!) expired 1L bottles of milk in our fridge. All of them had orange or light blue lids, which instantly fingered the culprits (my flatmates) because I only drink the milk with dark blue lids.

Requiring some shelf space, I made the stupid decision of emptying out the bottles in the sink and binning them. I got as far as 1 1//2 bottles before running (literally) from the room in horror. Actually just writing this post almost had me retching at the memory.

I feel sorry for you.

I once smelled some off milk and was gagging for half an hour.

AgeGap said:

I am in danger of being snoped out but wasn't there honey that was 1000s of years old that was edible?

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Yes. True. Sort-of. A 3300 year-old jar of honey was found in a tomb by T.M. Davies in the early 1900s. It was still semi-liquid, but had darkened significantly from what it would have been when buried, and still smelled of honey. I do not believe any was consumed, however. Which likely was wise.

When I was in high school, far too many years ago, some time after a biology lecture on how there could be no such thing as spontaneous generation of living organisms, I cleaned out my locker. Near the bottom, I found a Hostess Twinkie that I'd abandoned there some months before. I was about to unwrap and tear into it, when I noticed that it seemed to be moving. On close inspection, I discovered that it had become a sort of ad hoc ant farm--the little buggers had carved out tunnels all throughout the Twinkie. I couldn't find any openings in the wrapper, so I eagerly brought the Twinkie to my biology teacher and proudly proclaimed that I'd discovered spontaneous generation of living organisms.

He looked at the Twinkie, agreed that there were no openings in the wrapper, and rather bluntly told me:

gumboot said:

I came home from my holiday to discover... expired 1L bottles of milk in our fridge...

Requiring some shelf space, I made the stupid decision of emptying out the bottles in the sink and binning them. I got as far as 1 1//2 bottles before running (literally) from the room in horror.

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I shamefully admit to committing this mistake myself. The "shameful" part comes in this part of the admission: I've done it more than once.

You'd think I'd've learned from the first time... hey, us dumb bachelors' got real selective memories...

Generally, I'm pretty sure it's no grand conspiracy to make us throw out food. Most expiration dates are at least advise to check before biting in. The canned goods thing bugs me though. Should there really be expirations for those after only a couple years?