Need a one-liner about astrology

nettiemoore

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nettiemoore
Joined
Feb 17, 2008
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161
So I have to fill out an employee profile for display -- Favourite Book and Movie, Who would you like to sit next to on a plane, What are you currently reading etc etc & blah.

But one is "Zodiac sign and traits." :covereyes

I thought of a few things along the lines of "Astrology is brain rotting junk you morons" and so on but I do not want to be aggressive, given the context (and I have my biannual performance review next week!)

But I also do not want to play along. I want something that reflects my strongly held views but in a witty or positive way. I thought of "Ophiuchus, who are most likely to have heard of the precession of the equinox" but that's just obscure.


HALP!
 
Astrology: Making crap up for 4000 years and counting.
 
My favourite is:

"I am entirely skeptical about astrology. That's typical of Aquarians."
 
Watch it if you leave it blank, your Earth Gaia boss is going to say something like "That's so Taurus of you."
 
My favorite (courtesy of the ever-silly Gilmar): "My sign is Torus, the Doughnut."

That will get your message across to those whom you want to convey it to, and simply puzzle the rest.
 
Astrology, when the gravitation of pluto makes more difference than the gravitation of your honey next to you.
 
nettiemoore said:
So I have to fill out an employee profile for display -- Favourite Book and Movie, Who would you like to sit next to on a plane, What are you currently reading etc etc & blah.

But one is "Zodiac sign and traits." :covereyes

I thought of a few things along the lines of "Astrology is brain rotting junk you morons" and so on but I do not want to be aggressive, given the context (and I have my biannual performance review next week!)

But I also do not want to play along. I want something that reflects my strongly held views but in a witty or positive way. I thought of "Ophiuchus, who are most likely to have heard of the precession of the equinox" but that's just obscure.


HALP!
Click to expand...

I was born under the sceptical sign
 
How about something like "I don't do astrology - however, I have an interest in astronomy"

This way, you aren't belittling anyone and you are letting some of your personality through. You answer both parts of the question accurately AND you come out looking good.

(assumption: You have an interest in astronomy, but let's be serious.... Who doesn't?)
 
Astrology is the belief that- contrary to everything we know about physics, astronomy and logic- somehow the stars and planets control our lives -- Phil Plait
 
So you have to answer on a real employee profile display, "Zodiac sign and traits"? I can't believe you're serious. What kind of job is this? Telephone sanitizer?
You gotta be kidding.
ETA: I am not trying to make fun of you or your job, but it really sounds like someone in HR should have their kiester fired on the grounds of stupidity.
 
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Yeah Jeff, I agree. I guess its just supposed to be part of a light hearted get to know you stuff. Most people don't think about astrology beond that. There is another version with some different questions, I just randomly got the one with the zodiac. I've been here five years and not done one but there's a big push for everyone getting to know different departments better etc.
 
Sagittarius , half horse half man ...licensed to **** in the street.

Billy Connelly.
 
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"Sagittarius , half horse half man ...licensed to **** in the street."
"Half archer, half horse's ass, can't shoot worth crap and has no sense of humor".
 
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nettiemoore said:
But one is "Zodiac sign and traits." :covereyes
Click to expand...

One is a placard on an inflatable watercraft, and the other is what an Alabama pet owner gives to his/her canine for being a "good dog", but that's not important right now.
 
"Now, you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid scientific documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true."

-"Weird Al" Yankovic

But for helpful advice, take your own skeptical position. The question may have been put there because that's the right answer!
 
BTMO said:
How about something like "I don't do astrology - however, I have an interest in astronomy"

This way, you aren't belittling anyone and you are letting some of your personality through. You answer both parts of the question accurately AND you come out looking good.

(assumption: You have an interest in astronomy, but let's be serious.... Who doesn't?)
Click to expand...

I would go with this advice.
 
Thanks everyone, I shall tuck a lotn of those away for future use but for this I went with something close to BTMO's. "I prefer astronomy to astrology , as it has the advantage of being real." Hopefully not too snotty!
 
nettiemoore said:
Thanks everyone, I shall tuck a lotn of those away for future use but for this I went with something close to BTMO's. "I prefer astronomy to astrology , as it has the advantage of being real." Hopefully not too snotty!
Click to expand...


-flails arms in the air in a "Kermit the Frog" kind of way-

Yay!

I win!

;)

Let us know how it turns out.

:D
 
How it will turn out is that it will be stuck on the wall with the others and no one will look at it, or care about my defiant little candle in the dark. :rolleyes:
 
Kariboo said:
Astrology is the belief that- contrary to everything we know about physics, astronomy and logic- somehow the stars and planets control our lives -- Phil Plait
Click to expand...

That is absolute gold. I've seen it before, but it is still a gem of a quote.
 
For something a bit more aggressive you could quote from Lucy Mangan's awesome anti-astrology rant in the Guardian, e.g.:

"I'm whatever sign whose prediction this week read, 'On Sunday, a friend who has masqueraded as a rational human being for the 15 years of your acquaintance will stand revealed before you as just another cack-brained, gibbering fool swirling in a festering cesspit of stupidity'."
 
Do you want the job ? Swallow it and ignore it: put your real sign there. Unless you value skepticism more than a regular salary that is. Usually that type of question anyway is limited to recruitment, and hiring, not to the internal working of a firm for medium and big firms. Be wary if it is a small firm because a single person could pervade the whole firm with its belief. But for emdium and big firm the chance are next to NIL. So swallow it ignore it and after you are hired, shrug it off.
 
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