Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

Abdul Alhazred · 18th October 2010, 07:16 AM

Urban Myths - Watchtower Style
Free Minds (ex-Jehovah's Witnesses site)

I have omitted the non-Smurf content.

Quote:

...

Around 1983 or 1984 Smurfs were the all the rage among the kids my age. Somehow stories got started and spread like wildfire about how the Smurfs were demonic. At first I wasn't allowed to watch the TV show because of the characters Gargamel, who was a wizard, and Papa Smurf who practiced magic, if memory serves. Then it became known that several JWs who had overlooked this and bought Smurf items began to have demon troubles.

The one I remember best is a story I related to my JW neighbor's grandmother, who was "worldly" (my mom was furious that I told her this story because she knew the grandmother would think we were all nuts; of course, my mom believed this story, so I guess we were nuts!)

Supposedly, a little girl had been given Smurf curtains for her bedroom and the first night the evil Smurfs were there, she awoke to find they had jumped off the curtains and began dancing around her room, laughing demonically.

...

Paul's Uncle Mark, who is an elder, told him about an occasion that apparently happened in his congregation involving a smurf doll. As the story goes, a new family who had just started studying, were attending the Saturday meeting with their young son. Half way through the meeting , the smurf doll apparentley stood up and declared, " I have had enough of this ******" and walked out of the meeting on it's lonesome. So it seems even smurfs can detect crap when they hear it ! LOL!

...

A JW family decorated their son’s room with Smurf wallpaper. Shortly afterward they noticed that the kid was covered with tiny red marks one morning. Mom asked if he had felt any bugs in his bed. He said, “No, the smurfs come out of the wallpaper and bite me at night. In the daylight they’re cute and smiling but at night they have sharp teeth.” Those tricky blue devils! So Mom and Dad had to rip down the wallpaper and redo the room. And naturally the wallpaper wouldn’t burn without lots of gasoline.

...

Here's some true "smurf" stories (i myself witnessed):

Smurf Story 1: One fellow Witness woman I knew was very paranoid about the "demonic" nature of the Smurfs. Occasionally, she'd babysit for her neighbors (who were "worldly") and who often played with their kids in a "smurf" kiddie pool. The Witness woman never allowed the kids in the pool while she watched them, always feeling as if the pool might make the toddlers slip and fall or try to drown them.

Smurf Story #2: One Witness mother brought her 3 year old to the supermarket, where the baby always fussed, stuck sitting in the shopping cart. The woman left her child for a few seconds to grab things off the shelf. When she returned, her child had a 3 inch Smurf bendy toy. The good Witness mother immediately took the doll and put it aside, thinking her child grabbed it from somewhere. The taking of toy made the child cry of course, but the mother would not relent. However, over the course of the shopping trip, the child somehow gained access to the toy two more times. The third time, the mother realized that the doll was following her and her baby and that demonic forces were trying to possess the child. The mother grabbed her kid, left the cart and practically ran from the store. Later, I who was employed at the supermarket, discovered one the employees who was stocking shelves kept giving the child the toy so it wouldn't fuss so bad.

...

HansMustermann · 18th October 2010, 07:19 AM

Good grief... by the time one sees dolls walking out of the room on their own, or following one through the supermarket and trying to possess the kid, I'd say it's time to get some medication because untreated schizophrenia can only get worse.

That or I want their dealer's phone number. It must be some really good stuff

Gawdzilla Sama · 18th October 2010, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by HansMustermann

That or I want their dealer's phone number. It must be some really good stuff

Be careful what you wish for.

A'isha · 18th October 2010, 07:26 AM

This stuff is old hat among a number of more extreme evangelical Christians, not just the Jehovah's Witnesses. Turmoil in the Toy Box is probably the most well-known book along these lines (it was especially popular among many American evangelical parents in the 80's). And it's not just the Smurfs, either...everything from He-Man to the Care Bears to Voltron supposedly had demonic anti-Christian messages.

bluess · 18th October 2010, 07:40 AM

But not the Thundercats? Darn, here I've been hoping for demonic possession by the wrong type of cartoon character.

Gawdzilla Sama · 18th October 2010, 07:40 AM

Harry Potter, any one?

A'isha · 18th October 2010, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by bluess

But not the Thundercats? Darn, here I've been hoping for demonic possession by the wrong type of cartoon character.

Never fear, Turmoil in the Toy Box covers Thundercats as well!

hgc · 18th October 2010, 10:15 AM

Those people must have thought that the movie Poltergeist was a documentary. Dancing curtains, indeed!

Beerina · 18th October 2010, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Supposedly, a little girl had been given Smurf curtains for her bedroom and the first night the evil Smurfs were there, she awoke to find they had jumped off the curtains and began dancing around her room, laughing demonically.

List of possibilities with odds:

25% Flat-out fabrication
11% Lil' girl had a simple nightmare
18% Lil' girl had a nice dream where someone added some embellishment -- "They danced and laughed" --> "They danced and laughed demonically."
46% Poor little girl's head was filled since birth with the mental abuse of a demon-haunted world, leading to a horrid nightmare.
0% Smurf printings actually leapt off the curtains and started dancing and laughing, demonically or otherwise.

======
100%

TragicMonkey · 18th October 2010, 10:46 AM

I would expect a JW horror story about Smurfs to include the Smurfs giving each other blood transfusions.

Cainkane1 · 18th October 2010, 10:49 AM

How absurd. Everybody has some toys like this so why do only a few groups have these toys cause supernatural problems?

Also look at this. http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=9555

mactonite · 18th October 2010, 10:56 AM

Maybe the Smurfs should falsely predict the end of the world incorrectly many times. This will likely give them credibility among the JWs.

Shrike · 18th October 2010, 12:57 PM

I think the one where the Smurf doll can't take it anymore and walks out is my favourite

A Christian Sceptic · 18th October 2010, 01:05 PM

I think this is smurfed up!

Madalch · 18th October 2010, 01:24 PM

I thought everyone hated those little blue bastiches.

HansMustermann · 18th October 2010, 02:47 PM

Actually, you know, only now it occurs to me... Gargamel was the BAD guy there. It's not like he's lionized or anything, and his magic never solves anything. So saying the show is bad because it has Gargamel who's a wizard, is kinda stupid, innit?

Marduk · 18th October 2010, 02:50 PM

I think they've made up all these instances just because they can't remember the words in the theme song

Silly Green Monkey · 18th October 2010, 07:14 PM

Wasn't JW, but I was Evangelical---everything on tv was Satanic.

Pacal · 19th October 2010, 03:13 PM

I hate Smurfs. The whole sacharine rancid pus infested dog doo lot. I however rank Gargamel as one of my heros. Anyone who wants to kill and eat, or enslave or turn into gold such evil spawn of hell is a good guy.

fuelair · 19th October 2010, 03:33 PM

Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs

An 'fer that they can kiss my posy blue rectum!!!

sadhatter · 20th October 2010, 08:57 AM

Kids around the world would kill to have their toys be alive. Yet jw's say that they are, but they are evil. Something about that is odd to me.

Why wouldn't the evil smurf toy manufacturers pull a " demonic toys" and make the toys act intelligent and nice ( thereby driving up profits and making it so that every kid would want one.) , until the day they wanted to cause havoc?

You can always tell bs by the fact that a layman could design a better plan than the evil supervillians. I would like to think i am a smart guy, but if i can think of a better way to do things than the giant evil organization, either A) they don't exist. Or B) they do but their hiring procedures are atrocious leading to them being completely ineffectual.

Either way, nothing to worry about.

Cainkane1 · 20th October 2010, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by HansMustermann

Good grief... by the time one sees dolls walking out of the room on their own, or following one through the supermarket and trying to possess the kid, I'd say it's time to get some medication because untreated schizophrenia can only get worse.

That or I want their dealer's phone number. It must be some really good stuff

Wouldn't it be nice if a realdoll did this?

HansMustermann · 20th October 2010, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by sadhatter

Kids around the world would kill to have their toys be alive. Yet jw's say that they are, but they are evil. Something about that is odd to me.

Why wouldn't the evil smurf toy manufacturers pull a " demonic toys" and make the toys act intelligent and nice ( thereby driving up profits and making it so that every kid would want one.) , until the day they wanted to cause havoc?

You can always tell bs by the fact that a layman could design a better plan than the evil supervillians. I would like to think i am a smart guy, but if i can think of a better way to do things than the giant evil organization, either A) they don't exist. Or B) they do but their hiring procedures are atrocious leading to them being completely ineffectual.

Either way, nothing to worry about.

Ah, yes, but it's so hard to find good... err... evil help as an evil overlord. Henchmen these days...

I keep telling them to remember where the trap-door in my inner sanctum is, for example, but do you think anyone can rub two neurons together and actually remember? There's a cleaning crew almost full time underneath, just to keep the spikes clean under the trapdoor.

Or I keep telling them to refrain from gloating about their prowess and rewards they'll get before dispatching an opponent, but does anyone listen? There's a huge line for the firing range just because everyone just has to brag to the cardboard target for half an hour straight before... umm... missing it by several feet. And just yesterday I caught one bragging at a crate of vegetables he was sent to bring to the kitchen.

And don't even get me started about the quality of evil cultists you get from Manpower these days...

Just last week we had to cancel a ceremony to the Dark Master because some apprentice chick has used scented candles in the corners of the pentagram and was wearing some crystal pendant instead of the Evil Symbol. I ask her what's up with that, and she says it's good for the chi flow. Like my evil religion even has chi. I keep telling them, "focus, guys, focus. Mixing up religions is a sign of the amateur," but does any of them listen? Yeah, right.

Or you come to start an invocation, and everyone is eating cake on the altar and used the sacred dagger to cut the cake. They tell me it's Jones's birthday. I say if that dagger isn't squeaky clean in 5 minutes, it's his last. Then they called me a square.

And then there's the time they got dared by the sacrificial victim to play strip Tarot. Right there on the altar. Ooer. We had to wash the blood even off the ceiling, I'm telling you.

So, yeah, that some dolls would get imbued with the wrong evil spirit... what else is new? I'd be more surprised if they got it right once.

Foster Zygote · 20th October 2010, 09:55 AM

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I AGREE

Aitch · 20th October 2010, 12:06 PM

I have an issue with Smurfs. What colour do they go when you choke them?

TragicMonkey · 20th October 2010, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by Aitch

I have an issue with Smurfs. What colour do they go when you choke them?

If you squeeze them hard enough, they pop and it's very much red everywhere.

patchbunny · 20th October 2010, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Smurf Story #2: One Witness mother brought her 3 year old to the supermarket, where the baby always fussed, stuck sitting in the shopping cart. The woman left her child for a few seconds to grab things off the shelf. When she returned, her child had a 3 inch Smurf bendy toy. The good Witness mother immediately took the doll and put it aside, thinking her child grabbed it from somewhere. The taking of toy made the child cry of course, but the mother would not relent. However, over the course of the shopping trip, the child somehow gained access to the toy two more times. The third time, the mother realized that the doll was following her and her baby and that demonic forces were trying to possess the child. The mother grabbed her kid, left the cart and practically ran from the store. Later, I who was employed at the supermarket, discovered one the employees who was stocking shelves kept giving the child the toy so it wouldn't fuss so bad.

Now that's priceless.

Cainkane1 · 20th October 2010, 01:07 PM

I remember reading somewhere that the Gargamel character and the Smurfs inspiration was taken form an old european fairytale in which the magician creates little blue creatures from blue clay for his own evil purposes.

Don't ask for a website because I'm sure I didn't read the whole tale and I've never been interested in the cartoon show. The JW'S need their heads examined for believeing this crap.

MG1962 · 20th October 2010, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by Cainkane1

I remember reading somewhere that the Gargamel character and the Smurfs inspiration was taken form an old european fairytale in which the magician creates little blue creatures from blue clay for his own evil purposes.

Don't ask for a website because I'm sure I didn't read the whole tale and I've never been interested in the cartoon show. The JW'S need their heads examined for believeing this crap.

I am not sure about that - However in the original comics, Gargamel needed the Smurfs an ingredient to make gold

C_Felix · 20th October 2010, 01:37 PM

I wonder what their veiws on Snorks were.

rwguinn · 20th October 2010, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by Cainkane1

I remember reading somewhere that the Gargamel character and the Smurfs inspiration was taken form an old european fairytale in which the magician creates little blue creatures from blue clay for his own evil purposes.

Don't ask for a website because I'm sure I didn't read the whole tale and I've never been interested in the cartoon show. The JW'S need their heads examined for believeing this crap.

"Nac Mac Fleegle!"

TragicMonkey · 21st October 2010, 05:26 AM

Originally Posted by C_Felix

I wonder what their veiws on Snorks were.

Snorks were mutant Smurfs, cast out of Smurf society and forced to live in the sea. Papa Smurf tolerates no defects in his genetically pure Smurf society. That's why he was reluctant to allow females, for fear they might breed unselectively. Luckily for Smurfette, being an artificial life form meant she was sterile. Otherwise, Papa Smurf would have murdered her. And he'd have been right to do so--just look at what the Snorks became, through their wanton breeding. More and more mutated with each generation, their skins a riot of colors, none of them blue!

Bikewer · 21st October 2010, 05:36 AM

Now, I knew that the Teletubbies were The Spawn Of Satan sent to promote the Homosexual Agenda.... But I hadn't heard about the Smurfs.

However... I recall having a dream when I was very young (kindergarten age, perhaps) where some of my favorite comic-book characters, including Bugs Bunny, were running around my room.
So...Beware.

ddt · 21st October 2010, 05:47 AM

No music yet in this thread?

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I AGREE

Sabrina · 21st October 2010, 05:48 AM

I've always wondered about the Smurfs... one female for a village of males, yet Smurfette was clearly a tease throughout the series and never gave it up... not to mention being created artificially anyway. So, besides Sassette (who was created in the same way, except by Papa Smurf instead of Gargamel), where did all the kid smurfs come from? None of the adult Smurfs appear to ever get any (which gives a whole new spin to the term "blue balls", given their coloring); are all Smurfs created magically? If so, who created the first one? Interesting questions that have occupied my brain upon occasion after growing up and realizing the gigantic plot-holes that exists in the story of the Smurfs. [/derail]

devnull · 21st October 2010, 05:55 AM

Can anyone else remember this sort of rubbish about Cabbage Patch Kids (tm) or am I imagining it?

Sabrina · 21st October 2010, 06:02 AM

There was a rumor (debunked by Snopes) that Cabbage Patch kids were designed to look the way humans would after being exposed to nuclear fallout, IIRC.

TragicMonkey · 21st October 2010, 06:13 AM

Originally Posted by Sabrina

I've always wondered about the Smurfs... one female for a village of males, yet Smurfette was clearly a tease throughout the series and never gave it up... not to mention being created artificially anyway. So, besides Sassette (who was created in the same way, except by Papa Smurf instead of Gargamel), where did all the kid smurfs come from? None of the adult Smurfs appear to ever get any (which gives a whole new spin to the term "blue balls", given their coloring); are all Smurfs created magically? If so, who created the first one? Interesting questions that have occupied my brain upon occasion after growing up and realizing the gigantic plot-holes that exists in the story of the Smurfs. [/derail]

Exerpted from the Book of Smurfs in the Bible of the Unholy:

Quote:

In the third aeon, Yog-Sothoth contemplated itself and was pleased therein, and divided in essence to bring forth spawn of unutterable horror. Among the millions of festulent young produced therein was one with flesh of unnatural hue. Yog-Sothoth waxed mightily triumphal, and was conceived of a vast love for this particular spawn. "Thou shalt go forth, hideous fruit of my ten thousand loins, and spread thy horror upon the universe of light" he spaketh thusly, therein, and sent his child unto the world. Therein, the one with the flesh of unholy hue established itself an kingdom, and produced therein its own spawn by way of arcane magics, and they dwelt in unnatural fungoid growths. Their purpose is as foul as their hue, for they conspire to [text undecipherable due to copious bloodstains on the original text] and by that all life will rend its own flesh in maddened horror.

Horatius · 21st October 2010, 06:19 AM

Quote:

And naturally the wallpaper wouldn’t burn without lots of gasoline.

And of course it never occurred to them that wallpaper for a kid's room might have been fire-resistant.

sadhatter · 21st October 2010, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by Sabrina

There was a rumor (debunked by Snopes) that Cabbage Patch kids were designed to look the way humans would after being exposed to nuclear fallout, IIRC.

I have never heard this, but it has always been a pet theory of mine. Nice to see some others are on the same page. ( not that i nessecarily think it was done on purpose, just that it happened that way.)

I believe the poster beforehand was thinking about the garbage pail kids. It was obviously a CPK parody that took off. The problem was, that when a major motion picture was due to be made, they contracted a horror director. Days before filming, they realized that he had written a horror as opposed to a children's film, and they decided to do the film with a minimum of re-writes ( due to wanting a high profit.) leading to a "kids" film that had an original cut that was rated R.

The film, is still avialble, and is still scary as hell. From what i hear , ( from less credible sources) the director was fined in his country of origin due to showing underage children naked in films. This also is evidenced in the flick.

18th October 2010, 07:16 AM	#1
Abdul Alhazred Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 6,023	Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs Urban Myths - Watchtower Style Free Minds (ex-Jehovah's Witnesses site) I have omitted the non-Smurf content. Quote: ... Around 1983 or 1984 Smurfs were the all the rage among the kids my age. Somehow stories got started and spread like wildfire about how the Smurfs were demonic. At first I wasn't allowed to watch the TV show because of the characters Gargamel, who was a wizard, and Papa Smurf who practiced magic, if memory serves. Then it became known that several JWs who had overlooked this and bought Smurf items began to have demon troubles. The one I remember best is a story I related to my JW neighbor's grandmother, who was "worldly" (my mom was furious that I told her this story because she knew the grandmother would think we were all nuts; of course, my mom believed this story, so I guess we were nuts!) Supposedly, a little girl had been given Smurf curtains for her bedroom and the first night the evil Smurfs were there, she awoke to find they had jumped off the curtains and began dancing around her room, laughing demonically. ... Paul's Uncle Mark, who is an elder, told him about an occasion that apparently happened in his congregation involving a smurf doll. As the story goes, a new family who had just started studying, were attending the Saturday meeting with their young son. Half way through the meeting , the smurf doll apparentley stood up and declared, " I have had enough of this ******" and walked out of the meeting on it's lonesome. So it seems even smurfs can detect crap when they hear it ! LOL! ... A JW family decorated their son’s room with Smurf wallpaper. Shortly afterward they noticed that the kid was covered with tiny red marks one morning. Mom asked if he had felt any bugs in his bed. He said, “No, the smurfs come out of the wallpaper and bite me at night. In the daylight they’re cute and smiling but at night they have sharp teeth.” Those tricky blue devils! So Mom and Dad had to rip down the wallpaper and redo the room. And naturally the wallpaper wouldn’t burn without lots of gasoline. ... Here's some true "smurf" stories (i myself witnessed): Smurf Story 1: One fellow Witness woman I knew was very paranoid about the "demonic" nature of the Smurfs. Occasionally, she'd babysit for her neighbors (who were "worldly") and who often played with their kids in a "smurf" kiddie pool. The Witness woman never allowed the kids in the pool while she watched them, always feeling as if the pool might make the toddlers slip and fall or try to drown them. Smurf Story #2: One Witness mother brought her 3 year old to the supermarket, where the baby always fussed, stuck sitting in the shopping cart. The woman left her child for a few seconds to grab things off the shelf. When she returned, her child had a 3 inch Smurf bendy toy. The good Witness mother immediately took the doll and put it aside, thinking her child grabbed it from somewhere. The taking of toy made the child cry of course, but the mother would not relent. However, over the course of the shopping trip, the child somehow gained access to the toy two more times. The third time, the mother realized that the doll was following her and her baby and that demonic forces were trying to possess the child. The mother grabbed her kid, left the cart and practically ran from the store. Later, I who was employed at the supermarket, discovered one the employees who was stocking shelves kept giving the child the toy so it wouldn't fuss so bad. ...

18th October 2010, 07:22 AM	#3
Gawdzilla Sama 121.92-meter mutant fire-breathing lizard-thingy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northern St. Louis County, Missouri. Posts: 42,180	Originally Posted by HansMustermann That or I want their dealer's phone number. It must be some really good stuff Be careful what you wish for.
	__________________ Guns that are instantly available for use are instantly available for misuse. World War II Diplomatic and Political Resources Hyperwar, WWII Military History Buying conspiracy books is a voluntary tax on stupid.

18th October 2010, 07:40 AM	#5
bluess Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,431	But not the Thundercats? Darn, here I've been hoping for demonic possession by the wrong type of cartoon character.
bluess Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,431	__________________ 'Lord Emsworth, that amiable but bone-headed peer, stood at the window drooping like a wet sock.' -PG Wodehouse, The Crime Wave at Blandings

18th October 2010, 07:40 AM	#6
Gawdzilla Sama 121.92-meter mutant fire-breathing lizard-thingy Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northern St. Louis County, Missouri. Posts: 42,180	Harry Potter, any one?
	__________________ Guns that are instantly available for use are instantly available for misuse. World War II Diplomatic and Political Resources Hyperwar, WWII Military History Buying conspiracy books is a voluntary tax on stupid.

18th October 2010, 10:43 AM	#9
Beerina Sarcastic Conqueror of Notions Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 31,912	Quote: Supposedly, a little girl had been given Smurf curtains for her bedroom and the first night the evil Smurfs were there, she awoke to find they had jumped off the curtains and began dancing around her room, laughing demonically. List of possibilities with odds: 25% Flat-out fabrication 11% Lil' girl had a simple nightmare 18% Lil' girl had a nice dream where someone added some embellishment -- "They danced and laughed" --> "They danced and laughed demonically." 46% Poor little girl's head was filled since birth with the mental abuse of a demon-haunted world, leading to a horrid nightmare. 0% Smurf printings actually leapt off the curtains and started dancing and laughing, demonically or otherwise. ====== 100%
	__________________ "Great innovations should not be forced [by way of] slender majorities." - Thomas Jefferson The government should nationalize it! Socialized, single-payer video game development and sales *now!* More, cheaper, better games, right? Right? Last edited by Beerina; 18th October 2010 at 10:46 AM.

18th October 2010, 07:19 AM	#2
HansMustermann Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 21,526	Good grief... by the time one sees dolls walking out of the room on their own, or following one through the supermarket and trying to possess the kid, I'd say it's time to get some medication because untreated schizophrenia can only get worse. That or I want their dealer's phone number. It must be some really good stuff

18th October 2010, 07:26 AM	#4
A'isha Miss Schoolteacher Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 15,221	This stuff is old hat among a number of more extreme evangelical Christians, not just the Jehovah's Witnesses. Turmoil in the Toy Box is probably the most well-known book along these lines (it was especially popular among many American evangelical parents in the 80's). And it's not just the Smurfs, either...everything from He-Man to the Care Bears to Voltron supposedly had demonic anti-Christian messages.

18th October 2010, 07:45 AM	#7
A'isha Miss Schoolteacher Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 15,221	Originally Posted by bluess But not the Thundercats? Darn, here I've been hoping for demonic possession by the wrong type of cartoon character. Never fear, Turmoil in the Toy Box covers Thundercats as well!

18th October 2010, 10:15 AM	#8
hgc Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 15,892	Those people must have thought that the movie Poltergeist was a documentary. Dancing curtains, indeed!

18th October 2010, 10:46 AM	#10
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 65,332	I would expect a JW horror story about Smurfs to include the Smurfs giving each other blood transfusions.
	__________________ You added nothing to that conversation, Barbara.

18th October 2010, 10:49 AM	#11
Cainkane1 Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: The great American southeast Posts: 9,004	How absurd. Everybody has some toys like this so why do only a few groups have these toys cause supernatural problems? Also look at this. http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=9555
	__________________ If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then if you fail to succeed to Hell with that. Try something else. Last edited by Cainkane1; 18th October 2010 at 10:54 AM.

18th October 2010, 10:56 AM	#12
mactonite Critical Thinker Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 432	Maybe the Smurfs should falsely predict the end of the world incorrectly many times. This will likely give them credibility among the JWs.
	__________________ Red Blue Violet Green

18th October 2010, 12:57 PM	#13
Shrike Warning: May Contain Nuts Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Waddinxveen Posts: 2,850	I think the one where the Smurf doll can't take it anymore and walks out is my favourite
	__________________ See, it isn’t Hitler you’ve gotta hate; that’s not who you’ve gotta watch out for. The Hitlers of the world are very rare. We have to watch out for the people who did it for him, without any questions asked. Normal people who didn’t want to lose their jobs. Those are the people you have to watch out for, and the world’s always been full of them. - Lemmy

18th October 2010, 01:05 PM	#14
A Christian Sceptic Master Poster Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,288	I think this is smurfed up!
	__________________ How's it hanging?

18th October 2010, 01:24 PM	#15
Madalch The Jester Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,763	I thought everyone hated those little blue bastiches.
Madalch The Jester Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 9,763	__________________ As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of resolving approaches zero. -Vaarsuvius It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face. -Charlie Brooker

18th October 2010, 02:47 PM	#16
HansMustermann Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 21,526	Actually, you know, only now it occurs to me... Gargamel was the BAD guy there. It's not like he's lionized or anything, and his magic never solves anything. So saying the show is bad because it has Gargamel who's a wizard, is kinda stupid, innit?

18th October 2010, 02:50 PM	#17
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 10,183	I think they've made up all these instances just because they can't remember the words in the theme song
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 10,183

18th October 2010, 07:14 PM	#18
Silly Green Monkey Cowardly Lurking in the Shadows of Greatness Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Arizona Posts: 5,524	Wasn't JW, but I was Evangelical---everything on tv was Satanic.

19th October 2010, 03:13 PM	#19
Pacal Graduate Poster Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Toronto Posts: 1,418	I hate Smurfs. The whole sacharine rancid pus infested dog doo lot. I however rank Gargamel as one of my heros. Anyone who wants to kill and eat, or enslave or turn into gold such evil spawn of hell is a good guy.

19th October 2010, 03:33 PM	#20
fuelair Banned Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 58,581	Jehovah's Witnesses have an issue with Smurfs An 'fer that they can kiss my posy blue rectum!!!
fuelair Banned Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 58,581

20th October 2010, 08:57 AM	#21
sadhatter Philosopher Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8,694	Kids around the world would kill to have their toys be alive. Yet jw's say that they are, but they are evil. Something about that is odd to me. Why wouldn't the evil smurf toy manufacturers pull a " demonic toys" and make the toys act intelligent and nice ( thereby driving up profits and making it so that every kid would want one.) , until the day they wanted to cause havoc? You can always tell bs by the fact that a layman could design a better plan than the evil supervillians. I would like to think i am a smart guy, but if i can think of a better way to do things than the giant evil organization, either A) they don't exist. Or B) they do but their hiring procedures are atrocious leading to them being completely ineffectual. Either way, nothing to worry about.
sadhatter Philosopher Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 8,694

20th October 2010, 09:00 AM	#22
Cainkane1 Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: The great American southeast Posts: 9,004	Originally Posted by HansMustermann Good grief... by the time one sees dolls walking out of the room on their own, or following one through the supermarket and trying to possess the kid, I'd say it's time to get some medication because untreated schizophrenia can only get worse. That or I want their dealer's phone number. It must be some really good stuff Wouldn't it be nice if a realdoll did this?
	__________________ If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then if you fail to succeed to Hell with that. Try something else.

20th October 2010, 09:36 AM	#23
HansMustermann Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 21,526	Originally Posted by sadhatter Kids around the world would kill to have their toys be alive. Yet jw's say that they are, but they are evil. Something about that is odd to me. Why wouldn't the evil smurf toy manufacturers pull a " demonic toys" and make the toys act intelligent and nice ( thereby driving up profits and making it so that every kid would want one.) , until the day they wanted to cause havoc? You can always tell bs by the fact that a layman could design a better plan than the evil supervillians. I would like to think i am a smart guy, but if i can think of a better way to do things than the giant evil organization, either A) they don't exist. Or B) they do but their hiring procedures are atrocious leading to them being completely ineffectual. Either way, nothing to worry about. Ah, yes, but it's so hard to find good... err... evil help as an evil overlord. Henchmen these days... I keep telling them to remember where the trap-door in my inner sanctum is, for example, but do you think anyone can rub two neurons together and actually remember? There's a cleaning crew almost full time underneath, just to keep the spikes clean under the trapdoor. Or I keep telling them to refrain from gloating about their prowess and rewards they'll get before dispatching an opponent, but does anyone listen? There's a huge line for the firing range just because everyone just has to brag to the cardboard target for half an hour straight before... umm... missing it by several feet. And just yesterday I caught one bragging at a crate of vegetables he was sent to bring to the kitchen. And don't even get me started about the quality of evil cultists you get from Manpower these days... Just last week we had to cancel a ceremony to the Dark Master because some apprentice chick has used scented candles in the corners of the pentagram and was wearing some crystal pendant instead of the Evil Symbol. I ask her what's up with that, and she says it's good for the chi flow. Like my evil religion even has chi. I keep telling them, "focus, guys, focus. Mixing up religions is a sign of the amateur," but does any of them listen? Yeah, right. Or you come to start an invocation, and everyone is eating cake on the altar and used the sacred dagger to cut the cake. They tell me it's Jones's birthday. I say if that dagger isn't squeaky clean in 5 minutes, it's his last. Then they called me a square. And then there's the time they got dared by the sacrificial victim to play strip Tarot. Right there on the altar. Ooer. We had to wash the blood even off the ceiling, I'm telling you. So, yeah, that some dolls would get imbued with the wrong evil spirit... what else is new? I'd be more surprised if they got it right once.

20th October 2010, 12:06 PM	#25
Aitch Guest Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,723	I have an issue with Smurfs. What colour do they go when you choke them?
Aitch Guest Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,723

20th October 2010, 12:10 PM	#26
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 65,332	Originally Posted by Aitch I have an issue with Smurfs. What colour do they go when you choke them? If you squeeze them hard enough, they pop and it's very much red everywhere.
	__________________ You added nothing to that conversation, Barbara.

20th October 2010, 12:52 PM	#27
patchbunny Graduate Poster Join Date: May 2004 Location: Right about... here. Posts: 1,854	Quote: Smurf Story #2: One Witness mother brought her 3 year old to the supermarket, where the baby always fussed, stuck sitting in the shopping cart. The woman left her child for a few seconds to grab things off the shelf. When she returned, her child had a 3 inch Smurf bendy toy. The good Witness mother immediately took the doll and put it aside, thinking her child grabbed it from somewhere. The taking of toy made the child cry of course, but the mother would not relent. However, over the course of the shopping trip, the child somehow gained access to the toy two more times. The third time, the mother realized that the doll was following her and her baby and that demonic forces were trying to possess the child. The mother grabbed her kid, left the cart and practically ran from the store. Later, I who was employed at the supermarket, discovered one the employees who was stocking shelves kept giving the child the toy so it wouldn't fuss so bad. Now that's priceless.
	__________________ "So, they laugh at my boner, will they? I'll show them! I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make!" -- The Joker, Batman #66

20th October 2010, 01:07 PM	#28
Cainkane1 Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: The great American southeast Posts: 9,004	I remember reading somewhere that the Gargamel character and the Smurfs inspiration was taken form an old european fairytale in which the magician creates little blue creatures from blue clay for his own evil purposes. Don't ask for a website because I'm sure I didn't read the whole tale and I've never been interested in the cartoon show. The JW'S need their heads examined for believeing this crap.
	__________________ If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then if you fail to succeed to Hell with that. Try something else.

20th October 2010, 01:33 PM	#29
MG1962 Guest Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 17,252	Originally Posted by Cainkane1 I remember reading somewhere that the Gargamel character and the Smurfs inspiration was taken form an old european fairytale in which the magician creates little blue creatures from blue clay for his own evil purposes. Don't ask for a website because I'm sure I didn't read the whole tale and I've never been interested in the cartoon show. The JW'S need their heads examined for believeing this crap. I am not sure about that - However in the original comics, Gargamel needed the Smurfs an ingredient to make gold
MG1962 Guest Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 17,252

20th October 2010, 01:37 PM	#30
C_Felix Master Poster Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Just outside Raleigh, NC Posts: 2,953	I wonder what their veiws on Snorks were.

20th October 2010, 01:39 PM	#31
rwguinn Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: 16 miles from 7 lakes Posts: 11,098	Originally Posted by Cainkane1 I remember reading somewhere that the Gargamel character and the Smurfs inspiration was taken form an old european fairytale in which the magician creates little blue creatures from blue clay for his own evil purposes. Don't ask for a website because I'm sure I didn't read the whole tale and I've never been interested in the cartoon show. The JW'S need their heads examined for believeing this crap. "Nac Mac Fleegle!"
	__________________ "Political correctness is a doctrine,...,which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." "I pointed out that his argument was wrong in every particular, but he rightfully took me to task for attacking only the weak points." Myriad http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?postid=6853275#post6853275

21st October 2010, 05:26 AM	#32
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 65,332	Originally Posted by C_Felix I wonder what their veiws on Snorks were. Snorks were mutant Smurfs, cast out of Smurf society and forced to live in the sea. Papa Smurf tolerates no defects in his genetically pure Smurf society. That's why he was reluctant to allow females, for fear they might breed unselectively. Luckily for Smurfette, being an artificial life form meant she was sterile. Otherwise, Papa Smurf would have murdered her. And he'd have been right to do so--just look at what the Snorks became, through their wanton breeding. More and more mutated with each generation, their skins a riot of colors, none of them blue!
	__________________ You added nothing to that conversation, Barbara.

21st October 2010, 05:36 AM	#33
Bikewer Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: St. Louis, Mo. Posts: 13,188	Now, I knew that the Teletubbies were The Spawn Of Satan sent to promote the Homosexual Agenda.... But I hadn't heard about the Smurfs. However... I recall having a dream when I was very young (kindergarten age, perhaps) where some of my favorite comic-book characters, including Bugs Bunny, were running around my room. So...Beware.

21st October 2010, 05:48 AM	#35
Sabrina Wicked Lovely Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 9,810	I've always wondered about the Smurfs... one female for a village of males, yet Smurfette was clearly a tease throughout the series and never gave it up... not to mention being created artificially anyway. So, besides Sassette (who was created in the same way, except by Papa Smurf instead of Gargamel), where did all the kid smurfs come from? None of the adult Smurfs appear to ever get any (which gives a whole new spin to the term "blue balls", given their coloring); are all Smurfs created magically? If so, who created the first one? Interesting questions that have occupied my brain upon occasion after growing up and realizing the gigantic plot-holes that exists in the story of the Smurfs. [/derail]
Sabrina Wicked Lovely Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 9,810

21st October 2010, 05:55 AM	#36
devnull Philosopher Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Perth, Western Australia Posts: 6,057	Can anyone else remember this sort of rubbish about Cabbage Patch Kids (tm) or am I imagining it?
	__________________ _{"Here we go again.... semantic and syntactic chicanery and sophistic sleight of tongue and pen.... the bedazzling magic of appearing to be saying something when in fact all that is happening is diverting attention from the attempts at shoving god through the trapdoor of illogic and wishful thinking." - Leumas}

21st October 2010, 06:02 AM	#37
Sabrina Wicked Lovely Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 9,810	There was a rumor (debunked by Snopes) that Cabbage Patch kids were designed to look the way humans would after being exposed to nuclear fallout, IIRC.
Sabrina Wicked Lovely Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 9,810