Dear Users... (A thread for Sysadmin, Technical Support, and Help Desk people) - Page 10

DallasDad · 29th November 2018, 08:21 AM

Long ago, when I hosted email and web services, I frequently got emails from customers saying only, "I can't send mail."

Digging into the situation usually revealed that the target domain was blacklisted, or that the customer had mistyped the target email address.

But I could never get over why they would send an email to tell us they couldn't send email. Isn't that like calling the operator to say your phone is disconnected?

JoeMorgue · 29th November 2018, 08:25 AM

I think a lot of users have this mistaken view that the "Computer guys" can see everything they are doing "behind the scenes" as it were and think detailing what the issue is isn't necessary.

If you're in the business I bet you've experienced this if you really step back and think about, when a customer responds to your request for more information with some variation on "Can't you tell from where you are at?"

Even beyond legal requires, as in at even normal jobs (to say nothing of the medical environment I support now and the government environment I supported before) you can't just go in and randomly look at user's files and accounts willy-nilly, on tech level we can't see what the user is "doing" to the degree or in the way a lot of users seem to think.

Dr. Keith · 29th November 2018, 08:52 AM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

I think a lot of users have this mistaken view that the "Computer guys" can see everything they are doing "behind the scenes" as it were and think detailing what the issue is isn't necessary.

If you're in the business I bet you've experienced this if you really step back and think about, when a customer responds to your request for more information with some variation on "Can't you tell from where you are at?"

Even beyond legal requires, as in at even normal jobs (to say nothing of the medical environment I support now and the government environment I supported before) you can't just go in and randomly look at user's files and accounts willy-nilly, on tech level we can't see what the user is "doing" to the degree or in the way a lot of users seem to think.

I worked at a small firm where people were convinced of the opposite.

I walked in to talk to the manning partner about something and he was obviously distracted. I offered to come back later and he said no, he is just momentarily confused. You see he just gave a very important, somewhat small, but very time sensitive task to a admin person and asked that they send it back to him ASAP, after explaining how important and time sensitive it was. Now, he was watching their desktop as they shop online and he can't even figure out what they are shopping for. It is more like they are just randomly browsing.

arthwollipot · 29th November 2018, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

I think a lot of users have this mistaken view that the "Computer guys" can see everything they are doing "behind the scenes" as it were and think detailing what the issue is isn't necessary.

If you're in the business I bet you've experienced this if you really step back and think about, when a customer responds to your request for more information with some variation on "Can't you tell from where you are at?"

Even beyond legal requires, as in at even normal jobs (to say nothing of the medical environment I support now and the government environment I supported before) you can't just go in and randomly look at user's files and accounts willy-nilly, on tech level we can't see what the user is "doing" to the degree or in the way a lot of users seem to think.

I had a call just the other day like that. Someone thought that I could just see everything in their mailbox. Hello, privacy?

Faydra · 30th November 2018, 08:27 AM

And then there are those times when you yourself do something so stupid and end up making a fool out of yourself.

Like just now - I saw there was a global issue effecting all our ETW (extended temporary workers) that disabled thier logins.

All my operations team are ETW's, so I sent an email to their distribution list asking if it was affecting them.

Which they'll never get, if it is affecting them.

DOH!

JoeMorgue · 30th November 2018, 08:31 AM

The Commanding Officer of my last ship asked me to set up a "Restricted Internet" category in the ISA server so during periods of low connectivity (like when we had limited satellite access and were reduced to low bandwidth operations which was pretty common out to sea) we could maintain access to banks, educational sites, and official military sites but just keep people off of Facebook and ESPN and stuff.

So I made an ISA rule for .mil, .edu, .org and the top 20 or so banks/credit unions that showed up in our bandwidth report (and sent out an e-mail to everyone saying if they couldn't get on their particular bank or other site they felt was legit to let me know and I'd look into it). Few days later we went into low bandwidth and the Captain asked me to enable it.

I had done it backwards, as a black list instead of a white list. So people could get to ever site except important ones.

Dr. Keith · 30th November 2018, 03:06 PM

Originally Posted by Faydra

And then there are those times when you yourself do something so stupid and end up making a fool out of yourself.

Like just now - I saw there was a global issue effecting all our ETW (extended temporary workers) that disabled thier logins.

All my operations team are ETW's, so I sent an email to their distribution list asking if it was affecting them.

Which they'll never get, if it is affecting them.

DOH!

I was in a group that was leaving a firm and noticed that I had stopped receiving emails from some of the groups that sent out regular emails. I checked Groups in Outlook and noticed I had been removed from all my prior groups and added to the group Toast. I sent an email to that group assuming it was just the folks I was leaving with.

Bad assumption, it included everyone who had given notice or who were about to be fired. Very awkward responses followed. I actually thought my boss was going to fire me from the job I hadn't even started yet. Actually, he was just mad about swallowing his chewing tobacco while laughing.

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

The Commanding Officer of my last ship asked me to set up a "Restricted Internet" category in the ISA server so during periods of low connectivity (like when we had limited satellite access and were reduced to low bandwidth operations which was pretty common out to sea) we could maintain access to banks, educational sites, and official military sites but just keep people off of Facebook and ESPN and stuff.

So I made an ISA rule for .mil, .edu, .org and the top 20 or so banks/credit unions that showed up in our bandwidth report (and sent out an e-mail to everyone saying if they couldn't get on their particular bank or other site they felt was legit to let me know and I'd look into it). Few days later we went into low bandwidth and the Captain asked me to enable it.

I had done it backwards, as a black list instead of a white list. So people could get to ever site except important ones.

I almost swallowed my chewing tobacco, you jerk!

arthwollipot · 11th December 2018, 03:53 PM

I really do love it when people call purely out of curiosity.

I just took a call from someone who asked me "What is Sync Centre?" He'd just seen it and was curious as to what it was all about. I was able to give him a very quick and simple explanation about how the enterprise was being updated to use more cloud services and what it meant to synchronise data from the cloud. It was only a very quick and non-technical explanation, but it satisfied his curiosity and he learned a new thing. And I'm all for that.

arthwollipot · 11th December 2018, 04:07 PM

I just overheard a colleague on a call:

"The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..."

theprestige · 11th December 2018, 04:17 PM

One thing that happens to me with depressing regularity is I'll get a request from a new employee. It's obvious that their teammates or their supervisor has told them enough to know they need something, but somehow managed to end the conversation before explaining to this poor soul how to get it.

So they come to me with this question about their job, and all I can think is, "why hasn't your team explained your job to you yet?"

xterra · 11th December 2018, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I just overheard a colleague on a call:

"The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..."

Try this one:

http://shelleyberman.com/ewExternalF...300&height=300

Dabop · 11th December 2018, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I just overheard a colleague on a call:

"The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..."

"F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..."
F for... (reproductive eternal punishment...)

LOL, It wouldn't be polite to actually say what I was thinking, but I bet you are now too...

arthwollipot · 11th December 2018, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by Dabop

"F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..."
F for... (reproductive eternal punishment...)

LOL, It wouldn't be polite to actually say what I was thinking, but I bet you are now too...

Well, that's why this thread exists, isn't it?

arthwollipot · 11th December 2018, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by theprestige

One thing that happens to me with depressing regularity is I'll get a request from a new employee. It's obvious that their teammates or their supervisor has told them enough to know they need something, but somehow managed to end the conversation before explaining to this poor soul how to get it.

So they come to me with this question about their job, and all I can think is, "why hasn't your team explained your job to you yet?"

Oh, absolutely. And the worst part is when I look them up in the corporate structure, I see that their supervisor has done this many, many times and by now should know better.

Like those people I posted about earlier who continually need their password reset, and have to ask every time how to do it. You'd think they'd learn after the eighth or ninth time.

arthwollipot · 11th December 2018, 07:43 PM

And here's the guy who seems incapable of speaking in complete sentences:

"Oh, hey, I'm having a problem with... uh, it's a RAS problem and I can't... it just won't... uh... I've had this a couple of times and... I can't get the..."

Hard not to interrupt someone sometimes. I was easily able to determine what his problem was (he need to download and install Citrix Receiver) but actually getting him to say what was wrong was excruciating.

Donal · 14th December 2018, 12:19 PM

5 pm before you leave for vacation is not the time when you request assistance with the remote access over your personal Macbook.

And arguing with me and questioning everything I ask you to does not accelerate the process. And when I give in to your demand to send someone to your desk to assist, that won't either. Or s/he will do is stand there and tell you to do the exact same things I am. Plus you get the added feature of one of them becoming available.

We are not going to touch your personal laptop.

Hellbound · 14th December 2018, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by Donal

5 pm before you leave for vacation is not the time when you request assistance with the remote access over your personal Macbook.

And arguing with me and questioning everything I ask you to does not accelerate the process. And when I give in to your demand to send someone to your desk to assist, that won't either. Or s/he will do is stand there and tell you to do the exact same things I am. Plus you get the added feature of one of them becoming available.

We are not going to touch your personal laptop.

Touch the laptop, Donal. Go ahead, it's okay. I don't mind, really. You know you want to, Touch it, Donal, touch it!

Wudang · 14th December 2018, 01:53 PM

And just when they're ready to snap let out an "Oops".

arthwollipot · 17th December 2018, 10:36 PM

Cheeses, people. If you're going to make major changes to a major ICT system, including modifications to workflow and process, you need to do two things: First, make sure it is finished before you implement it. Second, tell people that you're doing it.

Hellbound · 18th December 2018, 09:23 AM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

Cheeses, people. If you're going to make major changes to a major ICT system, including modifications to workflow and process, you need to do two things: First, make sure it is finished before you implement it. Second, tell people that you're doing it.

But that would spoil the surprise!

arthwollipot · 18th December 2018, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Hellbound

But that would spoil the surprise!

I did find a news post on the departmental Intranet about the new system. I don't know - do a lot of people routinely check the Intranet news? I know I don't.

rdaneel · 18th December 2018, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I did find a news post on the departmental Intranet about the new system. I don't know - do a lot of people routinely check the Intranet news? I know I don't.

I check my work email once or twice... a month.

Mongrel · 19th December 2018, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I did find a news post on the departmental Intranet about the new system. I don't know - do a lot of people routinely check the Intranet news? I know I don't.

We use Jive and it's terrible. The important "Be aware" messages get buried under 3 year old posts about the Christmas Meal because that's what people are searching for\clicking on

It's all the bad features of social media smushed together with the bad features of the old intranets

JoeMorgue · 19th December 2018, 01:14 PM

I'm just gonna share the entire text of the trouble call I just received.

"Dr. (Redacted) needs help. He dismantled his computer and needs help getting all back together... asap."

CORed · 19th December 2018, 02:10 PM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

I'm just gonna share the entire text of the trouble call I just received.

"Dr. (Redacted) needs help. He dismantled his computer and needs help getting all back together... asap."

Better order a new one.

ETA: It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read this, because you'd owe me a keyboard if I was.

Norman Alexander · 19th December 2018, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by JoeMorgue

I'm just gonna share the entire text of the trouble call I just received.

"Dr. (Redacted) needs help. He dismantled his computer and needs help getting all back together... asap."

Is he currently in surgery? Because he will need it NOW!!

arthwollipot · 19th December 2018, 07:07 PM

I got one a little while ago that said only "Desktop PC Reimagine Required".

Darat · 19th December 2018, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I got one a little while ago that said only "Desktop PC Reimagine Required".

Steve Jobs?

arthwollipot · 19th December 2018, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by Darat

Steve Jobs?

Or Walt Disney.

rdaneel · 19th December 2018, 10:05 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I got one a little while ago that said only "Desktop PC Reimagine Required".

Imagine well versed users
who solve it if they try

No I.T. hassles
All tickets worth your time.

arthwollipot · 19th December 2018, 11:10 PM

One thing I've not mentioned about my job yet is that I record the IVR messages, since I have such a mellifluous voice

. I just got done recording the messages to go up over the holidays. If anyone phones one of four specific Australian Government organisations between the 24th and the 2nd, it'll be my voice they hear.

catsmate · 20th December 2018, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by Hellbound

Touch the laptop, Donal. Go ahead, it's okay. I don't mind, really. You know you want to, Touch it, Donal, touch it!

If it's a MacBook touch it long enough to drop it in a suitable bin.

Dabop · 22nd December 2018, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

One thing I've not mentioned about my job yet is that I record the IVR messages, since I have such a mellifluous voice

. I just got done recording the messages to go up over the holidays. If anyone phones one of four specific Australian Government organisations between the 24th and the 2nd, it'll be my voice they hear.

Great, now I am going to have to phone around all them trying to find your voice LOL

JoeMorgue · 27th December 2018, 01:45 PM

Okay one thing I try to stay above as much as possible is office politics.

But Jesus Christ I swear some of these people measure their self worth based on how much stuff they have on their desk. Names have been changed to protect the annoying.

*Unboxing a device at the front desk*
Carol: Hey Joe, what is that?
Me: It's a barcode scanner for the front desk.
Carol: Why is Debra getting a barcode scanner?
Me: Don't know, office manager put a ticket in for her to get a barcode scanner, that's all I know.
Carol: I've been worker here longer than Debra.
Me: That's nice Carol.
Carol: I just don't understand why she's getting one before I am. Also why is her monitor bigger than mine?
Me: I don't know Carol.
Carol: I just think it's funny that Debra is getting all this stuff. I'm going to talk to the office manager about getting a barcode scanner. And a bigger monitor.

At this point I should point out that Carol has at no point prior to this ever mentioned needing or wanting a barcode scanner, the nature of her job has no role for a barcode scanner ("Carol" does patient scheduling, "Debra" does insurance claims and billing).

TX50 · 1st January 2019, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by arthwollipot

I just overheard a colleague on a call:

"The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..."

When I worked in tech support (ugh! <shudder>

) we used to have to use the English (NATO), the German, the Dutch and the French phonetic alphabets. Doesn't do at all to mix up your Charlies, your Cornelises, your Celestines or your Caesars.

Wudang · 1st January 2019, 04:08 PM

FFestiniog Tsar Psoriasis.

Norman Alexander · 1st January 2019, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by Wudang

FFestiniog Tsar Psoriasis.

I'm sure there's an ointment for that.

ShowMe · 3rd January 2019, 08:51 AM

I've been a tech most of my life, and the two biggest issues almost always arise from different ends of the spectrum: The "we've always done it this way" people, and the "we have to use the bleeding edge latest and greatest" folks.

And when they get into a grunting contest we wind up with Windows Vista systems (yes, that was bleeding edge at one point in history) running Virtual Machines of Windows XP so people can actually access their older programs.

JoeMorgue · 3rd January 2019, 08:53 AM

Originally Posted by ShowMe

I've been a tech most of my life, and the two biggest issues almost always arise from different ends of the spectrum: The "we've always done it this way" people, and the "we have to use the bleeding edge latest and greatest" folks.

And when they get into a grunting contest we wind up with Windows Vista systems (yes, that was bleeding edge at one point in history) running Virtual Machines of Windows XP so people can actually access their older programs.

Cutting age is workable.

Legacy is workable (within a degree.)

"Trying to do cutting age while still maintaining Legacy in a mix and match" is where the nightmares begin.

arthwollipot · 6th January 2019, 03:09 PM

Colleagues, we have now entered the cutting age.

29th November 2018, 08:21 AM	#361
DallasDad Muse Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 853	Long ago, when I hosted email and web services, I frequently got emails from customers saying only, "I can't send mail." Digging into the situation usually revealed that the target domain was blacklisted, or that the customer had mistyped the target email address. But I could never get over why they would send an email to tell us they couldn't send email. Isn't that like calling the operator to say your phone is disconnected?
DallasDad Muse Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 853

29th November 2018, 08:25 AM	#362
JoeMorgue Self Employed Remittance Man Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 21,125	I think a lot of users have this mistaken view that the "Computer guys" can see everything they are doing "behind the scenes" as it were and think detailing what the issue is isn't necessary. If you're in the business I bet you've experienced this if you really step back and think about, when a customer responds to your request for more information with some variation on "Can't you tell from where you are at?" Even beyond legal requires, as in at even normal jobs (to say nothing of the medical environment I support now and the government environment I supported before) you can't just go in and randomly look at user's files and accounts willy-nilly, on tech level we can't see what the user is "doing" to the degree or in the way a lot of users seem to think.
	__________________ - "Ernest Hemingway once wrote that the world is a fine place and worth fighting for. I agree with the second part." - Detective Sommerset - "Stupidity does not cancel out stupidity to yield genius. It breeds like a bucket-full of coked out hamsters." - The Oatmeal - "To the best of my knowledge the only thing philosophy has ever proven is that Descartes could think." - SMBC

29th November 2018, 08:52 AM	#363
Dr. Keith Not a doctor. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 19,503	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue I think a lot of users have this mistaken view that the "Computer guys" can see everything they are doing "behind the scenes" as it were and think detailing what the issue is isn't necessary. If you're in the business I bet you've experienced this if you really step back and think about, when a customer responds to your request for more information with some variation on "Can't you tell from where you are at?" Even beyond legal requires, as in at even normal jobs (to say nothing of the medical environment I support now and the government environment I supported before) you can't just go in and randomly look at user's files and accounts willy-nilly, on tech level we can't see what the user is "doing" to the degree or in the way a lot of users seem to think. I worked at a small firm where people were convinced of the opposite. I walked in to talk to the manning partner about something and he was obviously distracted. I offered to come back later and he said no, he is just momentarily confused. You see he just gave a very important, somewhat small, but very time sensitive task to a admin person and asked that they send it back to him ASAP, after explaining how important and time sensitive it was. Now, he was watching their desktop as they shop online and he can't even figure out what they are shopping for. It is more like they are just randomly browsing.
	__________________ Suffering is not a punishment not a fruit of sin, it is a gift of God. He allows us to share in His suffering and to make up for the sins of the world. -Mother Teresa If I had a pet panda I would name it Snowflake.

29th November 2018, 03:18 PM	#364
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue I think a lot of users have this mistaken view that the "Computer guys" can see everything they are doing "behind the scenes" as it were and think detailing what the issue is isn't necessary. If you're in the business I bet you've experienced this if you really step back and think about, when a customer responds to your request for more information with some variation on "Can't you tell from where you are at?" Even beyond legal requires, as in at even normal jobs (to say nothing of the medical environment I support now and the government environment I supported before) you can't just go in and randomly look at user's files and accounts willy-nilly, on tech level we can't see what the user is "doing" to the degree or in the way a lot of users seem to think. I had a call just the other day like that. Someone thought that I could just see everything in their mailbox. Hello, privacy?
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

30th November 2018, 08:27 AM	#365
Faydra sinning sybarite Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 6,774	And then there are those times when you yourself do something so stupid and end up making a fool out of yourself. Like just now - I saw there was a global issue effecting all our ETW (extended temporary workers) that disabled thier logins. All my operations team are ETW's, so I sent an email to their distribution list asking if it was affecting them. Which they'll never get, if it is affecting them. DOH!
Faydra sinning sybarite Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 6,774

30th November 2018, 08:31 AM	#366
JoeMorgue Self Employed Remittance Man Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 21,125	The Commanding Officer of my last ship asked me to set up a "Restricted Internet" category in the ISA server so during periods of low connectivity (like when we had limited satellite access and were reduced to low bandwidth operations which was pretty common out to sea) we could maintain access to banks, educational sites, and official military sites but just keep people off of Facebook and ESPN and stuff. So I made an ISA rule for .mil, .edu, .org and the top 20 or so banks/credit unions that showed up in our bandwidth report (and sent out an e-mail to everyone saying if they couldn't get on their particular bank or other site they felt was legit to let me know and I'd look into it). Few days later we went into low bandwidth and the Captain asked me to enable it. I had done it backwards, as a black list instead of a white list. So people could get to ever site except important ones.
	__________________ - "Ernest Hemingway once wrote that the world is a fine place and worth fighting for. I agree with the second part." - Detective Sommerset - "Stupidity does not cancel out stupidity to yield genius. It breeds like a bucket-full of coked out hamsters." - The Oatmeal - "To the best of my knowledge the only thing philosophy has ever proven is that Descartes could think." - SMBC Last edited by JoeMorgue; 30th November 2018 at 08:33 AM.

30th November 2018, 03:06 PM	#367
Dr. Keith Not a doctor. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 19,503	Originally Posted by Faydra And then there are those times when you yourself do something so stupid and end up making a fool out of yourself. Like just now - I saw there was a global issue effecting all our ETW (extended temporary workers) that disabled thier logins. All my operations team are ETW's, so I sent an email to their distribution list asking if it was affecting them. Which they'll never get, if it is affecting them. DOH! I was in a group that was leaving a firm and noticed that I had stopped receiving emails from some of the groups that sent out regular emails. I checked Groups in Outlook and noticed I had been removed from all my prior groups and added to the group Toast. I sent an email to that group assuming it was just the folks I was leaving with. Bad assumption, it included everyone who had given notice or who were about to be fired. Very awkward responses followed. I actually thought my boss was going to fire me from the job I hadn't even started yet. Actually, he was just mad about swallowing his chewing tobacco while laughing. Originally Posted by JoeMorgue The Commanding Officer of my last ship asked me to set up a "Restricted Internet" category in the ISA server so during periods of low connectivity (like when we had limited satellite access and were reduced to low bandwidth operations which was pretty common out to sea) we could maintain access to banks, educational sites, and official military sites but just keep people off of Facebook and ESPN and stuff. So I made an ISA rule for .mil, .edu, .org and the top 20 or so banks/credit unions that showed up in our bandwidth report (and sent out an e-mail to everyone saying if they couldn't get on their particular bank or other site they felt was legit to let me know and I'd look into it). Few days later we went into low bandwidth and the Captain asked me to enable it. I had done it backwards, as a black list instead of a white list. So people could get to ever site except important ones. I almost swallowed my chewing tobacco, you jerk!
	__________________ Suffering is not a punishment not a fruit of sin, it is a gift of God. He allows us to share in His suffering and to make up for the sins of the world. -Mother Teresa If I had a pet panda I would name it Snowflake.

11th December 2018, 03:53 PM	#368
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	I really do love it when people call purely out of curiosity. I just took a call from someone who asked me "What is Sync Centre?" He'd just seen it and was curious as to what it was all about. I was able to give him a very quick and simple explanation about how the enterprise was being updated to use more cloud services and what it meant to synchronise data from the cloud. It was only a very quick and non-technical explanation, but it satisfied his curiosity and he learned a new thing. And I'm all for that.
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

11th December 2018, 04:07 PM	#369
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	I just overheard a colleague on a call: "The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..."
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

11th December 2018, 04:17 PM	#370
theprestige Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 39,570	One thing that happens to me with depressing regularity is I'll get a request from a new employee. It's obvious that their teammates or their supervisor has told them enough to know they need something, but somehow managed to end the conversation before explaining to this poor soul how to get it. So they come to me with this question about their job, and all I can think is, "why hasn't your team explained your job to you yet?"

11th December 2018, 04:58 PM	#371
xterra So far, so good... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: On the outskirts of Nowhere; the middle was too crowded Posts: 3,363	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I just overheard a colleague on a call: "The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..." Try this one: http://shelleyberman.com/ewExternalF...300&height=300
	__________________ Over we go....

11th December 2018, 05:08 PM	#372
Dabop Muse Join Date: May 2015 Location: Oz Posts: 913	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I just overheard a colleague on a call: "The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..." "F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..." F for... (reproductive eternal punishment...) LOL, It wouldn't be polite to actually say what I was thinking, but I bet you are now too...
Dabop Muse Join Date: May 2015 Location: Oz Posts: 913	__________________ It's a kind of a strawman thing in that it's exactly a strawman thing. Loss Leader 'When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat.' George Carlin

11th December 2018, 05:44 PM	#373
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	Originally Posted by Dabop "F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..." F for... (reproductive eternal punishment...) LOL, It wouldn't be polite to actually say what I was thinking, but I bet you are now too... Well, that's why this thread exists, isn't it?
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

11th December 2018, 05:46 PM	#374
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	Originally Posted by theprestige One thing that happens to me with depressing regularity is I'll get a request from a new employee. It's obvious that their teammates or their supervisor has told them enough to know they need something, but somehow managed to end the conversation before explaining to this poor soul how to get it. So they come to me with this question about their job, and all I can think is, "why hasn't your team explained your job to you yet?" Oh, absolutely. And the worst part is when I look them up in the corporate structure, I see that their supervisor has done this many, many times and by now should know better. Like those people I posted about earlier who continually need their password reset, and have to ask every time how to do it. You'd think they'd learn after the eighth or ninth time.
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

11th December 2018, 07:43 PM	#375
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	And here's the guy who seems incapable of speaking in complete sentences: "Oh, hey, I'm having a problem with... uh, it's a RAS problem and I can't... it just won't... uh... I've had this a couple of times and... I can't get the..." Hard not to interrupt someone sometimes. I was easily able to determine what his problem was (he need to download and install Citrix Receiver) but actually getting him to say what was wrong was excruciating.
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

14th December 2018, 12:19 PM	#376
Donal Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 3,955	5 pm before you leave for vacation is not the time when you request assistance with the remote access over your personal Macbook. And arguing with me and questioning everything I ask you to does not accelerate the process. And when I give in to your demand to send someone to your desk to assist, that won't either. Or s/he will do is stand there and tell you to do the exact same things I am. Plus you get the added feature of one of them becoming available. We are not going to touch your personal laptop.
Donal Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 3,955

14th December 2018, 12:22 PM	#377
Hellbound Merchant of Doom Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Not in Hell, but I can see it from here on a clear day... Posts: 14,037	Originally Posted by Donal 5 pm before you leave for vacation is not the time when you request assistance with the remote access over your personal Macbook. And arguing with me and questioning everything I ask you to does not accelerate the process. And when I give in to your demand to send someone to your desk to assist, that won't either. Or s/he will do is stand there and tell you to do the exact same things I am. Plus you get the added feature of one of them becoming available. We are not going to touch your personal laptop. Touch the laptop, Donal. Go ahead, it's okay. I don't mind, really. You know you want to, Touch it, Donal, touch it!

14th December 2018, 01:53 PM	#378
Wudang BOFH Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: People's Republic of South Yorkshire Posts: 12,159	And just when they're ready to snap let out an "Oops".

17th December 2018, 10:36 PM	#379
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	Cheeses, people. If you're going to make major changes to a major ICT system, including modifications to workflow and process, you need to do two things: First, make sure it is finished before you implement it. Second, tell people that you're doing it.
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

18th December 2018, 09:23 AM	#380
Hellbound Merchant of Doom Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Not in Hell, but I can see it from here on a clear day... Posts: 14,037	Originally Posted by arthwollipot Cheeses, people. If you're going to make major changes to a major ICT system, including modifications to workflow and process, you need to do two things: First, make sure it is finished before you implement it. Second, tell people that you're doing it. But that would spoil the surprise!

18th December 2018, 04:46 PM	#381
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	Originally Posted by Hellbound But that would spoil the surprise! I did find a news post on the departmental Intranet about the new system. I don't know - do a lot of people routinely check the Intranet news? I know I don't.
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

18th December 2018, 08:55 PM	#382
rdaneel Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I'M IN THE PHONEBOOK! I'M SOMEBODY!!! Posts: 3,850	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I did find a news post on the departmental Intranet about the new system. I don't know - do a lot of people routinely check the Intranet news? I know I don't. I check my work email once or twice... a month.
	__________________ "Let me guess, my theories appall you, my heresies outrage you, I never answer letters, and you don't like my tie." - The Doctor "I heard some things I can't prove from someone I don't know, and God dammit, that's enough for me." - Penny Arcade "Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!" - Agatha Heterodyne

19th December 2018, 12:08 PM	#383
Mongrel Begging for Scraps Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: 20 minutes in the future Posts: 1,947	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I did find a news post on the departmental Intranet about the new system. I don't know - do a lot of people routinely check the Intranet news? I know I don't. We use Jive and it's terrible. The important "Be aware" messages get buried under 3 year old posts about the Christmas Meal because that's what people are searching for\clicking on It's all the bad features of social media smushed together with the bad features of the old intranets
	__________________ “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.” - Charles Darwin ...like so many contemporary philosophers he especially enjoyed giving helpful advice to people who were happier than he was. - Tom Lehrer

19th December 2018, 01:14 PM	#384
JoeMorgue Self Employed Remittance Man Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 21,125	I'm just gonna share the entire text of the trouble call I just received. "Dr. (Redacted) needs help. He dismantled his computer and needs help getting all back together... asap."
	__________________ - "Ernest Hemingway once wrote that the world is a fine place and worth fighting for. I agree with the second part." - Detective Sommerset - "Stupidity does not cancel out stupidity to yield genius. It breeds like a bucket-full of coked out hamsters." - The Oatmeal - "To the best of my knowledge the only thing philosophy has ever proven is that Descartes could think." - SMBC

19th December 2018, 02:10 PM	#385
CORed Philosopher Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Central City, Colorado, USA Posts: 9,164	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue I'm just gonna share the entire text of the trouble call I just received. "Dr. (Redacted) needs help. He dismantled his computer and needs help getting all back together... asap." Better order a new one. ETA: It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I read this, because you'd owe me a keyboard if I was.
	Last edited by CORed; 19th December 2018 at 02:18 PM.

19th December 2018, 06:01 PM	#386
Norman Alexander Philosopher Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 6,431	Originally Posted by JoeMorgue I'm just gonna share the entire text of the trouble call I just received. "Dr. (Redacted) needs help. He dismantled his computer and needs help getting all back together... asap." Is he currently in surgery? Because he will need it NOW!!
	__________________ _{...our governments are just trying to protect us from terror. In the same way that someone banging a hornets’ nest with a stick is trying to protect us from hornets. Frankie Boyle, Guardian, July 2015}

19th December 2018, 07:07 PM	#387
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	I got one a little while ago that said only "Desktop PC Reimagine Required".
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

19th December 2018, 07:48 PM	#388
Darat Lackey Administrator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: South East, UK Posts: 88,436	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I got one a little while ago that said only "Desktop PC Reimagine Required". Steve Jobs?
	__________________ I wish I knew how to quit you

19th December 2018, 08:01 PM	#389
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	Originally Posted by Darat Steve Jobs? Or Walt Disney.
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

19th December 2018, 10:05 PM	#390
rdaneel Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: I'M IN THE PHONEBOOK! I'M SOMEBODY!!! Posts: 3,850	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I got one a little while ago that said only "Desktop PC Reimagine Required". Imagine well versed users who solve it if they try No I.T. hassles All tickets worth your time.
	__________________ "Let me guess, my theories appall you, my heresies outrage you, I never answer letters, and you don't like my tie." - The Doctor "I heard some things I can't prove from someone I don't know, and God dammit, that's enough for me." - Penny Arcade "Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!" - Agatha Heterodyne Last edited by rdaneel; 19th December 2018 at 10:12 PM.

19th December 2018, 11:10 PM	#391
arthwollipot Observer of Phenomena Pronouns: he/him Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Location, Location Posts: 64,621	One thing I've not mentioned about my job yet is that I record the IVR messages, since I have such a mellifluous voice . I just got done recording the messages to go up over the holidays. If anyone phones one of four specific Australian Government organisations between the 24th and the 2nd, it'll be my voice they hear.
	__________________ Self-described nerd. Pronouns: He/Him My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something. - Randall Munroe

20th December 2018, 03:21 PM	#392
catsmate No longer the 1 Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 21,340	Originally Posted by Hellbound Touch the laptop, Donal. Go ahead, it's okay. I don't mind, really. You know you want to, Touch it, Donal, touch it! If it's a MacBook touch it long enough to drop it in a suitable bin.
	__________________ As human right is always something given, it always in reality reduces to the right which men give, "concede," to each other. If the right to existence is conceded to new-born children, then they have the right; if it is not conceded to them, as was the case among the Spartans and ancient Romans, then they do not have it. For only society can give or concede it to them; they themselves cannot take it, or give it to themselves.

22nd December 2018, 07:55 PM	#393
Dabop Muse Join Date: May 2015 Location: Oz Posts: 913	Originally Posted by arthwollipot One thing I've not mentioned about my job yet is that I record the IVR messages, since I have such a mellifluous voice . I just got done recording the messages to go up over the holidays. If anyone phones one of four specific Australian Government organisations between the 24th and the 2nd, it'll be my voice they hear. Great, now I am going to have to phone around all them trying to find your voice LOL
Dabop Muse Join Date: May 2015 Location: Oz Posts: 913	__________________ It's a kind of a strawman thing in that it's exactly a strawman thing. Loss Leader 'When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat.' George Carlin

27th December 2018, 01:45 PM	#394
JoeMorgue Self Employed Remittance Man Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 21,125	Okay one thing I try to stay above as much as possible is office politics. But Jesus Christ I swear some of these people measure their self worth based on how much stuff they have on their desk. Names have been changed to protect the annoying. Unboxing a device at the front desk Carol: Hey Joe, what is that? Me: It's a barcode scanner for the front desk. Carol: Why is Debra getting a barcode scanner? Me: Don't know, office manager put a ticket in for her to get a barcode scanner, that's all I know. Carol: I've been worker here longer than Debra. Me: That's nice Carol. Carol: I just don't understand why she's getting one before I am. Also why is her monitor bigger than mine? Me: I don't know Carol. Carol: I just think it's funny that Debra is getting all this stuff. I'm going to talk to the office manager about getting a barcode scanner. And a bigger monitor. At this point I should point out that Carol has at no point prior to this ever mentioned needing or wanting a barcode scanner, the nature of her job has no role for a barcode scanner ("Carol" does patient scheduling, "Debra" does insurance claims and billing).
	__________________ - "Ernest Hemingway once wrote that the world is a fine place and worth fighting for. I agree with the second part." - Detective Sommerset - "Stupidity does not cancel out stupidity to yield genius. It breeds like a bucket-full of coked out hamsters." - The Oatmeal - "To the best of my knowledge the only thing philosophy has ever proven is that Descartes could think." - SMBC

1st January 2019, 02:15 PM	#395
TX50 Graduate Poster Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,942	Originally Posted by arthwollipot I just overheard a colleague on a call: "The form you need is the FTP Access Request... FTP. F for Fred, T for Tango... no, F for Fred. F for Foxtrot. FTP. F for Foxtrot. No, F for Freddie..." When I worked in tech support (ugh! <shudder> ) we used to have to use the English (NATO), the German, the Dutch and the French phonetic alphabets. Doesn't do at all to mix up your Charlies, your Cornelises, your Celestines or your Caesars.
TX50 Graduate Poster Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 1,942