ISF Logo   IS Forum
Forum Index Register Members List Events Mark Forums Read Help

Go Back   International Skeptics Forum » General Topics » USA Politics
 

Notices


Welcome to the International Skeptics Forum, where we discuss skepticism, critical thinking, the paranormal and science in a friendly but lively way. You are currently viewing the forum as a guest, which means you are missing out on discussing matters that are of interest to you. Please consider registering so you can gain full use of the forum features and interact with other Members. Registration is simple, fast and free! Click here to register today.
Tags theory , guide , bovine , politicows

Reply
Old 14th January 2005, 03:11 PM   #1
Lavie Enrose
Graduate Poster
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,952
Politicows: A Bovine Guide to Political Theory.

Politicows

A Bovine Guide to Political Theory

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Pure communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Bureaucratic socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

Russian communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Pure democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. Representative democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

American democracy: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Local governmental capitalism: The government condemns your cows under rights of eminent domain, knocks them over, and allows the mall to expand its parking lot.

Hong Kong capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank ,then execute a debt-equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cow's milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.

Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Anarchism: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

-Anonymous

- September - October 97 - Utne Reader.
Lavie Enrose is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 14th January 2005, 09:10 PM   #2
UserGoogol
Master Poster
 
UserGoogol's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,074
Sounds like a load of bull to me.
__________________
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. -- Hanlon's Razor
UserGoogol is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 14th January 2005, 11:44 PM   #3
Lavie Enrose
Graduate Poster
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,952
Quote:
Originally posted by UserGoogol
Sounds like a load of bull to me.
Cow, not bull. Cow.
Lavie Enrose is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 15th January 2005, 07:08 AM   #4
Ian Osborne
JREF Kid
Tagger
 
Ian Osborne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 6,698
Libertarianism: If a cow dies or the milk turns sour, blame the government.
__________________
"Faith without doubt leads to moral arrogance, the eternal pratfall of the religiously convinced" - Joe Klein, Time magazine

"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Carl Sagan
Ian Osborne is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 15th January 2005, 03:25 PM   #5
Crossbow
Seeking Honesty and Sanity
 
Crossbow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 7,514
Bushism (as applied to Bovine Political Theory): Them cows should make for some tasty cole slaw!

__________________
On 10 JUN 2014, 'Gaeten’ claimed that it was Satan who provided the Ten Commandments to Moses. “This is not God who gave the Moses law to Moses but Satan, and the reason why he did that is because he wants people to go to hell.”
http://forums.randi.org/showthread.p...6#post10065066

A man's best friend is his dogma.
Crossbow is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 15th January 2005, 08:05 PM   #6
H3LL
Illuminator
 
H3LL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,976
Fundamentalism You only drink milk from our cows or we kill you.

Creationism Modern cows producing more milk than their ancestors is just a theory. Cows have always looked like they do now and produced milk for man from the beginning (7,000 years ago). It says so in the buy-bull.

Spiritualism You can get milk from dead cows.
__________________
"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it". - PTerry

Top 10 Reasons Why I Procrastinate:
1.
H3LL is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Reply

International Skeptics Forum » General Topics » USA Politics

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:11 AM.
Powered by vBulletin. Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 2014, TribeTech AB. All Rights Reserved.
This forum began as part of the James Randi Education Foundation (JREF). However, the forum now exists as
an independent entity with no affiliation with or endorsement by the JREF, including the section in reference to "JREF" topics.

Disclaimer: Messages posted in the Forum are solely the opinion of their authors.