ELAINE McGUCKIN, Asteroid Prophet

This just arrived from Kerala, India.

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Dear Mr. Randi,

I, Elaine McGuckin hereby apply to challenge James Randi by providing a demonstration of my link to a supernatural power by the ability to predict two events that cannot be predicted by any other means. Even astronomers cannot determine the landing sites of asteroids.

I predict that the town of Oban in Argyll Scotland will be destroyed by a small asteroid as my first demonstration.

As my second demonstration I predict that the town of Bowen in Queensland Australia will also be destroyed by a small asteroid.

I place no precise time for these events but indicate that March 9, 2005 has a connection to the first of them and that that will be explained after the event has occurred, whenever that shall be.

-Elaine McGuckin

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Well, this being March 11th, it seems as though half of this claim is already flown out the window.

I am now writing to notify this applicant that her claim and her prediction has been proven erroneous, and as such, her file is now closed.

That's the 306th closed file, in case any of you are counting.

My Bad, Her Bad

I mis-read this application. Nowhere did the applicant predict that something would happen on March 9. It was only stated that March 9 was "connected" to the prediction in a manner that would be clear after the event occured.

I got the following email notifying me of that:

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Dear Mr. Kramer,

I have just read your reply to my challenge and I must say that I am quite appalled at the lack of comprehension on your part. I never once claimed that the asteroid would hit on the 9th of March 2005, I only indicated that that date was connected and that that connection would be explained after the event of the a
steroid destroying the town of Oban.

I have a copy of the original letter I sent to you, which I had signed and dated by a witness and in it I am quite obvious about what my challenge is.

Perhaps your grasp of English is not up to scratch. Perhaps I was wrong to presume that the JREF being an educational foundation was just that, educated. I really am quite shocked.

The challenge I set was an open challenge, which still stands.

Two small meteors will destroy the towns of Oban, Scotland and Bowen, Australia.

I feel strongly that this challenge is justified. Predicting the sites of asteroid impacts has to be a major challenge to any sceptic.
How could I possibly know such a thing?

Is there more to the JREF than the general public are led to believe?

I'm sorry if I sound rude but I do have a right to at least have the letter I sent you read by someone who can read and comprehend English. I await your reply.

Yours, Elaine Mc Guckin

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My response was swift:

Dear Ms. McGuckin,
My apologies for having mis-read your nebulous reference to March 9th. I get to read hundreds of claims like yours, and it is indeed an appalling thing sometimes.

My having misunderstood that part of your letter is peanuts, however, compared to how some people throw their entire lives away on utter nonsense such as this. THAT is appalling.

Now let's see how well YOU understand English:
In order for JREF to accept your claim, you must be precise. You have already told us that Oban, Scotland and Bowen, Australia will be destroyed by an asteroid, and that satisfies the WHERE part of your claim. But that alone will not suffice. Try to understand that.

Now you must tell us on which date this will happen, as in WHEN. Make your full prediction. Half a prediction will NOT qualify you for the JREF Paranormal Challenge. Understand that, too.

Be advised that if you refuse to give an exact date, your claim will be immediately rejected. There will be no debate on this issue. We will NOT respond to your demands to accept a claim that does not adhere to the Challenge rules, so don't ask us to. We won't respond.

Sorry if I sound rude or short but I think I have right to keep my correspondence with people who live in an interstellar fantasy world to an absolute minimum.

Now, one more time, just in case you missed the point here: No Exact Date? No Claim.

And by the way, it's not your Challenge; it's ours. That's something that it would behoove YOU to understand.

-Kramer, JREF Paranormal Claims Dept.

CASE CLOSED

Dear Ms. McGuckin,

As we have not heard back from you regarding an exact date for your prediction, we must assume that you are no longer interested in following through with your claim.

We now hereby close your file.

Thank you for your interest in the JREF Paranormal Challenge.