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Old 18th June 2006, 05:53 AM   #1
a_unique_person
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"Left Behind" fundies can't believe America not mentioned in Bible Prophecy

Just when I needed a laugh.

Quote:

First Possibility: America will still be a powerful nation in the last days, but the Lord simply chose not to mention her specifically.
One of the hardest things for American prophecy students to accept is that the United States is not clearly mentioned in Bible prophecy, yet... continues.


http://secure.agoramedia.com/leftbeh...ftbehind22.asp
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Old 18th June 2006, 06:04 AM   #2
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Second possibility: America doesn't survive The End Times, and is indeed "left behind", with all these people who thought they would be riding the tail of the comet now. Which makes far more sense as to why it doesn't rate a mention in the (amazin' prophecyin') bible.
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Old 18th June 2006, 06:56 AM   #3
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If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?
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Old 18th June 2006, 10:30 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by writerdd View Post
If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?
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Old 18th June 2006, 11:13 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by writerdd View Post
If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?
In the P&T: Bull's Hit episode on "End Of World" fanatics, they featured Texe "Hillary R. Clinton is a Lesbian Witch!" Marrs who poo-pooed the notion that Revelations that is an allegory... right before making his own on-the-spot Biblical interpretation by declaring that the current tattooing trend is a manifestation of the "Mark Of The Beast."

So much for literalism.
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Old 18th June 2006, 11:22 AM   #6
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America could be Babylon. Or it could be aligned with the EU.
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Old 18th June 2006, 12:42 PM   #7
Achán hiNidráne
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Originally Posted by psy kick View Post
America could be Babylon. Or it could be aligned with the EU.
Excuse me, but if you think the Bible should be taken literally (as the fundimentalists who buy into the "End Times" BS) there is no "could be" involved.
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Old 18th June 2006, 12:56 PM   #8
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This is one of the reasons Mormonism is so popular. The 'New Jerusalem' is in Independence MO. The entire end times scenario is centered around the US being brought into existence by God.

Hallelujah.
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Old 18th June 2006, 12:56 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Mark A. Siefert View Post
Excuse me, but if you think the Bible should be taken literally (as the fundimentalists who buy into the "End Times" BS) there is no "could be" involved.
The fundie explanation for all those apparent anachronisms (or more accurately, the exact opposite of anachronism, but I don't think such a word exists) is that the prophets of the Bible "didn't understand what they were seeing, so they explained it in terms familiar to the people at the time." That's why Ezekiel "really" saw an alien spacecraft, etc., etc.
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Old 18th June 2006, 01:00 PM   #10
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Given the size and construction materials of New Jerusalem, I do wonder if it would fall down. It's a cube more than 200 times higher than Mt. Everest, ending somewhere around Earth's exosphere, its walls are about 65m thick and made out of semiprecious stones. Oh never mind it's the EU!
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Old 18th June 2006, 01:02 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by c4ts View Post
Given the size and construction materials of New Jerusalem, I do wonder if it would fall down. It's a cube more than 200 times higher than Mt. Everest, ending somewhere around Earth's exosphere, its walls are about 65m thick and made out of semiprecious stones.
It sounds....tacky.
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Old 18th June 2006, 01:08 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
It sounds....tacky.
Read on.

Quote:
11: Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;
12: And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel:
13: On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates.
14: And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
15: And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof.
16: And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal.
17: And he measured the wall thereof, an hundred and forty and four cubits, according to the measure of a man, that is, of the angel.
18: And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass.
19: And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald;
20: The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst.
21: And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides?

Last edited by c4ts; 18th June 2006 at 01:10 PM.
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Old 18th June 2006, 01:25 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by c4ts View Post
Read on.



I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides?
It's religion. It doesn't have to make sense.
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Old 18th June 2006, 02:02 PM   #14
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They featured Texe "Hillary R. Clinton is a Lesbian Witch!" Marrs

The funny thing about America is that, nowadays, with all the new-age Wicca stuff, there probably ARE people who proudly describe themselves as "lesbian witches", and aren't even considered odd.

It would be funny to see this guy preaching in San Francisco, say:

IDIOT: "Hillary Clinton is a lesbian witch!"
Crowd: "Er.... so?"
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Old 18th June 2006, 03:57 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by c4ts View Post
How is he able to see the other sides?
Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.
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Old 18th June 2006, 04:15 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by JamesDillon View Post
Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.
No, the city remains still on a stand and the Earth rotates around it!
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Old 18th June 2006, 04:46 PM   #17
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Ugh. No god capable of thinking up such a monstrosity could also be responsible for creating the universe. From the universe's elegant monkeys to its exquistite gibbons, from the beauty of the baboon to the magnificence of a gorilla, the universe is a work of stunning beauty.

The New Jerusalem, on the other hand, sounds like Myrtle Beach on acid.
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Old 18th June 2006, 04:56 PM   #18
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I was about to say the same thing. One of Timothy Leary's ancestors from the biblical times, perhaps?
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Old 18th June 2006, 05:13 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
The New Jerusalem, on the other hand, sounds like Myrtle Beach on acid.
Even Myrtle Beach on acid doesn't have to contend with 500km/h winds in the upper troposphere. The thin little jasper walls of New Jerusalem do. Good thing Revelations says God lives there, because you'd need an omnipotent being to keep the walls from caving in and crushing the city! I now want to see if it lists how tall the Beast is, since I think it said the tail was long enough to knock stars out of the sky. Just in case the city isn't scraping the Holy Firmament and doing similar damage...
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Old 18th June 2006, 05:20 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by JamesDillon View Post
Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.
Can I buy a limited edition from Franklin Mint?
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Old 18th June 2006, 08:41 PM   #21
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It's only available from Plaster Fun House...
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Old 18th June 2006, 11:17 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Zep View Post
It's only available from Plaster Fun House...
Limited edition God lamp sold separately.
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Old 19th June 2006, 12:03 AM   #23
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The prophecy forum from the OP is worth a trip.
Quote:
Either I'm crazy or God is helping me

I am going out on a limb here with admitting this. I have been seeing this kind of slightly fuzzy picture in my mind whenever I see Rev. 20:11 or think of the year 2011 and now at any unexpected time, out of nowhere. I have a funny feeling that something is going to happen in that year. I don't like to date guess on anything but I keep seeing something that is like fire, yet not burning fire the way I normally would see fire, I also see a lot of dust around it. It's hard to explain but it's like a flash of fire that has been frozen in my mind. the flash is still and the dust is still. It's really weird. I don't understand why I see this.
http://forums.prospero.com/n/mb/mess...g=5303.1&ctx=1
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Old 19th June 2006, 04:15 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by c4ts View Post
I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides?
Besides: Was he a jeweller, geologist or something? I should be lucky to name just one of those stones correctly...
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Old 19th June 2006, 07:39 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by kopji
The prophecy forum from the OP is worth a trip.

Quote:
Either I'm crazy or God is helping me

I am going out on a limb here with admitting this. I have been seeing this kind of slightly fuzzy picture in my mind whenever I see Rev. 20:11 or think of the year 2011 and now at any unexpected time, out of nowhere. I have a funny feeling that something is going to happen in that year.
bolding mine

Uhhh...something is going to happen on 2011? As opposed to those other years when nothing happens? I'm not sure which is more vague. The Book of Revelation or the fundie interpetations of it.
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Old 19th June 2006, 08:01 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by Legalduck View Post
bolding mine

Uhhh...something is going to happen on 2011? As opposed to those other years when nothing happens? I'm not sure which is more vague. The Book of Revelation or the fundie interpetations of it.
Might be some other prophecy, like the Mayan calendar. But why would any Christian believe those demon-worshipping bloodthirsty Mayans?
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Old 19th June 2006, 08:11 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by Dog Boots View Post
Besides: Was he a jeweller, geologist or something? I should be lucky to name just one of those stones correctly...
Each stone was associated with a tribe of Israel, I think. All John needed to know was the tribes and their identifying symbols.
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Old 19th June 2006, 09:12 AM   #28
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Funny how most of those are semi-precious gems, not precious.
I wonder if they were more valuable at the time of the writing?

And you don't necessarily have to be a gemologist to recognize them. I'd know most of them on sight, because I do beadwork and use them all the time in my jewelry.
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Old 19th June 2006, 09:24 AM   #29
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well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind.

I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either.
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Old 19th June 2006, 10:17 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Deus Ex Machina View Post
well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind.

I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either.
I have dibs on my ex's mansion, so back off!
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Old 19th June 2006, 10:47 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Deus Ex Machina
well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind.

I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either.
I've tried this tactic with a few end of the world types (not just the Chirstian fundamental-cases). It never seems to work. I've even tried it with Killik on another board when he said the world was "transforming" sometime in 2016 (or 2026, can't remember which). He just said he didn't have any assets that anyone would want.

I'd love to get look at the finances of some these doomsayers, especially Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. I have to wonder how many of them have long term investments, despite all their talk of "real soon now."
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Old 19th June 2006, 11:18 AM   #32
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Well I'm gonna make sure I have one of those super industrial bulldozers to clear the freeways of all those cars of those people who make it up... plus means I get to break stuff and wreak havoc! Ahh good times...
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Old 19th June 2006, 11:38 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by slingblade View Post
Funny how most of those are semi-precious gems, not precious.
I wonder if they were more valuable at the time of the writing?

And you don't necessarily have to be a gemologist to recognize them. I'd know most of them on sight, because I do beadwork and use them all the time in my jewelry.
The stones were based on the colors of the tribal standards in the OT. The gems were originally part of a breastplate described in Exodus. The entire chaper is somewhat wardrobe obsessed:

Quote:
15And thou shalt make the breastplate of judgment with cunning work; after the work of the ephod thou shalt make it; of gold, of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine twined linen, shalt thou make it.

16Foursquare it shall be being doubled; a span shall be the length thereof, and a span shall be the breadth thereof.

17And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row.

18And the second row shall be an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond.

19And the third row a ligure, an agate, and an amethyst.

20And the fourth row a beryl, and an onyx, and a jasper: they shall be set in gold in their inclosings.

21And the stones shall be with the names of the children of Israel, twelve, according to their names, like the engravings of a signet; every one with his name shall they be according to the twelve tribes.
Well, sort of. They don't quite match up in the King James Version. New Jerusalem doesn't have any diamond foundations, for example. But you get the idea. Four foundations with three different kinds of stones, four rows of three stones on the breastplate.

Last edited by c4ts; 19th June 2006 at 11:41 AM.
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Old 19th June 2006, 11:49 AM   #34
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Never mind wasting your money on the bulldozer... The criteria for being selected to be raptured are so tight that I think there will be plenty of people left behind. Actually I suspect the world would be a better place without the "rapture-ready folks".

@ Legalduck: I used the same line with Killik here. He gave me the same answer. I insisted, saying I still would be interested, just for the sport of a bet against his beliefs. Never got an answer
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Old 19th June 2006, 05:03 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Legalduck View Post
I've tried this tactic with a few end of the world types (not just the Chirstian fundamental-cases). It never seems to work. I've even tried it with Killik on another board when he said the world was "transforming" sometime in 2016 (or 2026, can't remember which). He just said he didn't have any assets that anyone would want.

I'd love to get look at the finances of some these doomsayers, especially Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. I have to wonder how many of them have long term investments, despite all their talk of "real soon now."
Well, you can have my stuff when I am raptured (as long as others are too and its not just me missing).
All I have though, is some clothing (female) 1 book, shampoo, etc.
Have no car, no house, no income.
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Old 19th June 2006, 06:16 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by psy kick View Post
Well, you can have my stuff when I am raptured (as long as others are too and its not just me missing).
All I have though, is some clothing (female) 1 book, shampoo, etc.
Have no car, no house, no income.
Where do you plug in your computer?
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Old 19th June 2006, 07:54 PM   #37
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Live at my father's house, the computer was free for my son's homeschooling.
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Old 19th June 2006, 08:47 PM   #38
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Sit on it.....

Originally Posted by JamesDillon View Post
Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.

Sort of a sit on it and rotate thing
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Old 19th June 2006, 11:10 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by Correa Neto View Post
Never mind wasting your money on the bulldozer... The criteria for being selected to be raptured are so tight that I think there will be plenty of people left behind. Actually I suspect the world would be a better place without the "rapture-ready folks".

@ Legalduck: I used the same line with Killik here. He gave me the same answer. I insisted, saying I still would be interested, just for the sport of a bet against his beliefs. Never got an answer
Bah who says anythinga bout spending money on a bulldozer? I just said get me one... and the people who are smart will get out of the way and the empty cars will be demolished most satisfactorly. A guy can dream can't he?
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Old 20th June 2006, 03:47 AM   #40
Zep
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The usual response to the Rapturefolks is to say that it actually happened in 1998, and yes - they WERE left behind...with us heathens. Whatbadluck. *snort*
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