ISF Logo   IS Forum
Forum Index Register Members List Events Mark Forums Read Help

Go Back   International Skeptics Forum » General Topics » General Skepticism and The Paranormal
 


Welcome to the International Skeptics Forum, where we discuss skepticism, critical thinking, the paranormal and science in a friendly but lively way. You are currently viewing the forum as a guest, which means you are missing out on discussing matters that are of interest to you. Please consider registering so you can gain full use of the forum features and interact with other Members. Registration is simple, fast and free! Click here to register today.
Reply
Old 11th July 2006, 06:42 AM   #1
Dr Adequate
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 17,766
The New Age Is A Paper Tiger

The New Age Is A Paper Tiger

New Age: Wouldn't it be wonderful if minute doses of toxins could make people healthier?

Science: Vaccination?

New Age: Homeopathy! Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could cure diseases by sticking needles in people?

Science: Intravenous injection?

New Age: Acupuncture! Wouldn't it be wonderful if people without medical degrees or scientific training could treat serious medical conditions by the laying on of hands?

Science: CPR?

New Age: Faith healing! Wouldn't it be wonderful if naturally occurring substances could cure diseases?

Science: Penicillin?

New Age: Ephedra! Wouldn't it be wonderful if people had remarkable mental powers?

Science: Language, memory, imagination, reason, love, compassion, hope, altruism...

New Age: Spoonbending! Wouldn't it be wonderful if people could communicate with one another over large distances?

Science: By telephone?

New Age: By telepathy! Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was some way of seeing distant people and places?

Science: Television?

New Age: Remote viewing! Wouldn't it be wonderful if people could fly?

Science: By aeroplane?

New Age: By bouncing on their bottoms and repeating a mantra! Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could determine the sex of an unborn child?

Science: Using ultrasound?

New Age: Using pendulum dowsing! Wouldn't it be wonderful if every part of the universe was bound to every other part by mysterious forces?

Science: As in quantum physics?

New Age: As an explanation for the tricks of stage psychics! Wouldn't it be wonderful if mysterious vibrations were the explanation for all phenomena?

Science: Quantum physics again, surely?

New Age: Such as the "good vibrations" I get from my magic crystals! Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was such a thing as "negative energy''?

Science: As is associated with a gravitational field?

New Age: As an objective, scientific explanation of why I should dislike the people I dislike! Wouldn't it be wonderful if the study of numbers and calculation could help us to discover how the world works?

Science: Mathematics?

New Age: Numerology! Wouldn't it be wonderful if there were some things science can't explain...

Science: Here's a list as long as your arm. Can you help us to get research funding?

New Age: ... such as why a pretty pebble price $29.99 plus postage and packing can improve my karma and ward off negative forces! Wouldn't it be wonderful if studying the stars could lead us to important truths?

Science: Such as the origin of the universe?

New Age: Such as that Librans should avoid shopping trips this Wednesday! Wouldn't it be wonderful if in some distant mountain range there flourished an shaggy semi-intelligent animal closely related to humans?

Science: The Congo mountain gorilla?

New Age: The yeti! Wouldn't it be wonderful if the Earth were being observed from outer space?

Science: By weather satellites?

New Age: By Little Green Men! Wouldn't it be wonderful if ancient civilizations had discovered a mysterious occult key to the workings of the Universe, the knowlege of which has been handed down from generation to generation by a small, shy, uncommunicative sect?

Science: Mathematicians?

New Age: Atlanteans! Wouldn't it be wonderful if superior intelligences who have mastered the secrets of space flight were trying to communicate with me?

Science: Scientists?

New Age: Aliens! Wouldn't it be wonderful if there were beautiful stripy ferocious big cats living in Asia...

Science: Tigers?

New Age: ... made entirely out of paper! After all, aren't things always more wonderful if they are...

Science: Real?

New Age: Imaginary!
Dr Adequate is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 06:47 AM   #2
Hellbound
Merchant of Doom
 
Hellbound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Not in Hell, but I can see it from here on a clear day...
Posts: 14,233
Nice

One slight correction I'd make though:
Quote:
New Age: As an explanation for the tricks of stage psychics! Wouldn't it be wonderful if mysterious vibrations were the explanation for all phenomena?

Science: String theory?
To my understanding, string theory is more involved with multi-dimensional vibrations as an explanation for various base properties of particles. But QM may get into this too, IANAE
__________________
History does not always repeat itself. Sometimes it just yells "Can't you remember anything I told you?" and lets fly with a club. - John w. Campbell
Hellbound is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 08:40 AM   #3
Tricky
Briefly immortal
 
Tricky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Group W Bench
Posts: 44,381
Originally Posted by Dr Adequate View Post
<snip>
New Age: After all, aren't things always more wonderful if they are...

Science: Real?

New Age: Imaginary!
Nominated! Good job, Doc.
Tricky is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 08:56 AM   #4
Hagrok
Muse
 
Hagrok's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 936
That was good; I think I'll save it, if you don't mind.
__________________
Indecision may or may not be my problem...
Hagrok is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 09:00 AM   #5
tkingdoll
Penultimate Amazing
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,382
Sir, you have my eternal respect. With your permission, I would like to link to this in tomorrow's skepchick blog entry if that's OK.
tkingdoll is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 09:02 AM   #6
Roboramma
Penultimate Amazing
 
Roboramma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Shanghai
Posts: 13,636
Originally Posted by Tricky View Post
Nominated! Good job, Doc.
Damn it! Beat me by twenty minutes!
__________________
"... when people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together."
Isaac Asimov
Roboramma is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 09:35 AM   #7
Bronze Dog
Copper Alloy Canid
 
Bronze Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,993
Blog'd! Without Permission!
__________________
Stop Sylvia Browne

Warning: Beware of contaminated water supplies! Suspected source of contamination: Sarah-I

A non-Rockstar Rambler and dissector of Doggerel
Bronze Dog is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 10:38 AM   #8
Ashles
Pith Artist
 
Ashles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The '80s
Posts: 8,689
Sometimes Dr A you rise above mere adequacy, and exceed even standard competence.

Sometimes you fly.

I wont nominate this again - merely vote for it.

Why do I never receive things like that in my mailbox?
__________________
With extraordinary few exceptions no educated person in the history of Western Civilization from the third century B.C. onward believed that the earth was flat. - Jeffrey Burton Russell
It is obvious to any scientist that the bumblebee can fly because experiment proves it. - Zetie 1996
Ashles is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 12:52 PM   #9
Dr Adequate
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 17,766
Thanks for the kind words, nominations, and teek's eternal respect (which I plan to keep in a small jar on the mantlepiece next to Art Vandelay's ego).

I'd also like to thank all the woos in the world for being so damn stupid.
Dr Adequate is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 12:55 PM   #10
Dr Adequate
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 17,766
Originally Posted by tkingdoll View Post
Sir, you have my eternal respect. With your permission, I would like to link to this in tomorrow's skepchick blog entry if that's OK.
But of course : I write these things in order that people should read them.
Dr Adequate is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 02:56 PM   #11
Forty-Two
Muse
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 912
Originally Posted by Ashles View Post
Why do I never receive things like that in my mailbox?
Next time you receive one of those schmaltzy, fuzzy emails, you should forward Dr. Adequate's piece to whomever sent you the email (properly attributed, of course). If anyone complains, say you find it inspirational. I know I do.
Forty-Two is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 04:50 PM   #12
eri
Critical Thinker
 
eri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 457
Oh, I thought this thread was about Beck. My bad.

But I don't regret reading it.
__________________
I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. -Jack Handy
eri is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 04:55 PM   #13
RandFan
Mormon Atheist
 
RandFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 60,134
We'll done. And I'm not talking about my steak. I like that rare. No new age anything about that. Just lots of artery chocking...

You know what? This isn't about my steak.

Carry on.
RandFan is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 04:56 PM   #14
Pardalis
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 25,817
Originally Posted by Huntsman View Post
Nice

One slight correction I'd make though:


To my understanding, string theory is more involved with multi-dimensional vibrations as an explanation for various base properties of particles. But QM may get into this too, IANAE
I definately heard harp strings at every "New Age" line.

ETA: very funny Doc!
Pardalis is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 11th July 2006, 07:41 PM   #15
Yahzi
Master Poster
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,669
Yes, kudos. And the woos say we have no appreciation of aesthetics...
Yahzi is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 12th July 2006, 10:27 AM   #16
Psi Baba
Homo Skepticalis
 
Psi Baba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,007
That's a keeper, Doc. You are adequate beyond your years (whatever that means).
__________________
We have reached a point in time where reality and satire have intersected and now you can't tell the difference. -- Lewis Black

There is a cult of ignorance . . . nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge. -- Isaac Asimov
Psi Baba is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 13th July 2006, 06:13 AM   #17
arthwollipot
Observer of Phenomena
Pronouns: he/him
 
arthwollipot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Location, Location
Posts: 66,001
Yeah, I've snurched it too. Well done.
__________________
Self-described nerd.

My mom told me she tries never to make fun of people for not knowing something.
- Randall Munroe
arthwollipot is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 13th July 2006, 08:58 AM   #18
elaine
Killer Squirrel Killer
 
elaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,145
Bravo!
elaine is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 13th July 2006, 09:59 AM   #19
kitakaze
Resident DJ/NSA Supermole
 
kitakaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sapporo ichiban!
Posts: 9,264
Dr. Adequate, I think I'll show be showing my Visionary, Spiritual Translator beauty this thread first and immediately before I show her the one concerning her. Great stuff.
__________________
Until better evidence is provided, the best solution to the PGF is that it is a man in a suit. -Astrophotographer.

2 prints, 1 trackway, same 'dermals'? 'Unfortunately no' says Meldrum.

I want to see bigfoot throw a pig... Is that wrong? -LTC8K6
kitakaze is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 13th July 2006, 06:12 PM   #20
Smart_Cookie
Muse
 
Smart_Cookie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 889
Agreed. Saved and link saved, because even though I don't have a blog (yet), it will be one of the first things to go on there.

Beautiful, Dr. A.
__________________
Email scams deconstructed at http://www.scumop.com
Smart_Cookie is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 18th July 2006, 09:31 AM   #21
JLam
Proud Skepkid Parent
 
JLam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 4,149
I just saw this. Wow.

Someone tell fowlsound that this is an example of good writing. That boy could use some lessons.
__________________
Help take down Sylvia Browne.

"what's dicksing? my dicksionary have no word for that" - Pillory
JLam is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 18th July 2006, 10:19 AM   #22
DreadNiK
A typical atypical
 
DreadNiK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 909
Excellent stuff. To be honest, I was hoping for a better punchline, but purely on the grounds that it was so good right from the start that finishing strong would have entailed some sort of paranormal intervention.
__________________
Question Everything - Just not always out loud...

Pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitate
DreadNiK is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 18th July 2006, 10:42 AM   #23
Niki
New Blood
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 9
I'm going to post this to my blog, hoping for permission to come.
Niki is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 18th July 2006, 11:02 AM   #24
Tricky
Briefly immortal
 
Tricky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: The Group W Bench
Posts: 44,381
Originally Posted by JLam View Post
I just saw this. Wow.
I'm actually a little sad for the other entries in the Language Award this month.
Tricky is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 18th July 2006, 11:04 AM   #25
brodski
Tea-Time toad
 
brodski's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 15,516
Originally Posted by Tricky View Post
I'm actually a little sad for the other entries in the Language Award this month.
I still think we should have too language awards, one just to decide which of Dr.A's posts is best in any given month, and another one, from which the good doctor's posts are excluded, just to give the rest of the forum a chance.
brodski is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 20th July 2006, 04:06 AM   #26
Yelper
Student
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 32
Originally Posted by Dr Adequate View Post
New Age: By Little Green Men! Wouldn't it be wonderful if ancient civilizations had discovered a mysterious occult key to the workings of the Universe, the knowlege of which has been handed down from generation to generation by a small, shy, uncommunicative sect?

Science: Mathematicians?


Love it!
__________________
Sometimes when crafting your message, you have to think, What Would MTV Do? - Rustle
Yelper is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 20th July 2006, 04:26 AM   #27
Sir Arthur Mortal Coyle
Thinker
 
Sir Arthur Mortal Coyle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 148
Great stuff, printed out for posterity, and Woo amunition.
Sir Arthur Mortal Coyle is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 15th August 2006, 08:01 PM   #28
SquishyDave
Graduate Poster
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 1,643
In terms of the email thing, I have emailed this to quite a few people, with a nice "By Dr Adequate" and a link to this thread at the bottom.

Maybe with the whole 7 degrees thing a few of you will get it in your inbox.
SquishyDave is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 16th August 2006, 06:13 AM   #29
Hawk one
Emperor of the Internet
 
Hawk one's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Right below The Hat.
Posts: 13,685
OK, also spreading it in a couple of Norwegian communities I'm part of. I expect that people in those communities can at least read English, so I haven't translated it. Of course, if you think a translation can make it reach even more people, just give me the word.
__________________
Boynott everything!

If only health care was like video games. Then the ones who could pay for it would get it, and the ones who couldn't would die, like nature intended for people without money. A perfect system, right? RIGHT?
Hawk one is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 16th August 2006, 09:53 AM   #30
EvilBiker
Graduate Poster
 
EvilBiker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Berlin
Posts: 1,169
We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

Spreading the word here in Africa, with kudos to Dr. A., of course, as per the Squishy One..

Your 15 Minutes Of Fame starts now!

*looks at post time*

Oh, wait...
__________________
Flat Earth Theory:
The unfortunate result of ordering pizza to satisfy munchies after smoking way too much weed to bring you down from that hectic acid trip.
EvilBiker is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 16th August 2006, 11:09 AM   #31
Dustin Kesselberg
Illuminator
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,669
Who said Ephedra could cure diseases?
Dustin Kesselberg is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 16th August 2006, 02:20 PM   #32
Dr Adequate
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 17,766
The people selling it.
Dr Adequate is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Old 16th August 2006, 02:24 PM   #33
elaine
Killer Squirrel Killer
 
elaine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,145
Originally Posted by SquishyDave View Post
In terms of the email thing, I have emailed this to quite a few people, with a nice "By Dr Adequate" and a link to this thread at the bottom.

Maybe with the whole 7 degrees thing a few of you will get it in your inbox.
I have, too.
elaine is offline   Quote this post in a PM   Nominate this post for this month's language award Copy a direct link to this post Reply With Quote Back to Top
Reply

International Skeptics Forum » General Topics » General Skepticism and The Paranormal

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:43 AM.
Powered by vBulletin. Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

This forum began as part of the James Randi Education Foundation (JREF). However, the forum now exists as
an independent entity with no affiliation with or endorsement by the JREF, including the section in reference to "JREF" topics.

Disclaimer: Messages posted in the Forum are solely the opinion of their authors.