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Tags astrology , General Skepticism humor , homeopathy

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Old 28th August 2006, 12:33 PM   #1
Ze Kraggash
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Homeopastrology

I am seeking the help of the members of this board in creating a new pseudoscience -- homeopastrology. (Pronounced home-e-oh-pass-TROL-oh-gee)
This may sound like the science of self-made deli sandwiches, but it isnít.

The reason all of the various versions of astrology donít work is that they ignore the homeopathic principle. Some business models propose to, ďDo more with less.Ē Homeopathy takes this to the logical extreme -- do everything with nothing. Applying homeopathic principles to astrology we find that the weaker an objectís gravitational force on the Earth, the stronger its astrological field strength. Traditional astrology focuses on the planets, which are too big and too close to have much of an effect.

A single electron in a distant galaxy would have the strongest astrological field. However, the angular movement relative to the Earth is very slow for such a distant object. As a result, the change in its effect over the course of a human lifetime is negligible. This would be true for anything outside our solar system.

The net astrological effect is a combination of the astrological field strength, and the angular speed of the object across the sky.

The Oort cloud comets would be the next big influence. However, they also donít move very far across the sky in a human lifetime. In addition, their distribution is (we think) roughly spherically symmetric. As a result, their combined influences will tend to cancel out and produce no net effect.

It is the Kuiper Belt Objects (KBOs) that have the greatest influence. While the Pluto/Charon system is no longer considered a planet, it may well have the strongest astrological influence. Since it has the smallest orbit, it moves the fastest of any of the KBOs across the sky at just under 1.5 degrees per year.

It is crucial that we build huge telescopes so that we can find all of these KBOs. Everybody asks the National Science Foundation for money. I propose that we ask for GELT -- the Giant Extra-Large Telescope. Armed with accurate data about the KBOís motions, the new science of homeopastrology could finally give us complete knowledge of the past and future behavior of everyone on Earth. We could:
1. End the fighting in Africa and the Middle East.
2. Eradicate all disease and world hunger.
3. Predict what will happen at the TAM5 pajama party.

I believe my development of homeopastrology qualifies me for the JREF prize. However, in keeping with the homeopathic principle, less is more, I am requesting an award of no more than $0.01 -- less would be even better!

Iím posting this on several boards in the hope that people can add more bells and whistles to homeopastrology and turn it into a real pseudoscience (oxymoron intended).

Some areas that still need work:
1. What is the exact nature of the astrological field strength? My intuition says it is just the reciprocal of the gravitational field strength, but it might be more complicated.

2. The net astrological effect is some combination of the astrological field strength and the angular speed of the object. The question is what combination? Added? Multiplied? Something else? The offers a great place to produce different, mutually incompatible, sects of homeopastrology down the road.

3. What are the actual astrological effects of each KBO in different parts of the sky? Feel free to pick one and be creative. For example, I am choosing Xenaís second (as yet undiscovered) moon Joxer. People born under the influence of Joxer tend to wear glasses and have more famous older brothers.

Go to it. The sky is the limit.
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Old 28th August 2006, 12:51 PM   #2
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Genius!
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Old 28th August 2006, 02:23 PM   #3
Tanstaafl
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For a second there I thought that Homeopastrology was an offshoot of Pastafarianism.

Great idea though.

I wonder what the homeopasrological effect would be of being in the middle of a tornado? All those nitrogen and oxygen molecules with so little mass, moving around you so quickly! If you survived I guess you'd have to chart yourself over again from scratch afterwards.
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Old 29th August 2006, 12:30 PM   #4
phildonnia
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Originally Posted by Ze Kraggash View Post
1. What is the exact nature of the astrological field strength? My intuition says it is just the reciprocal of the gravitational field strength, but it might be more complicated.
It's more complicated. You will notice that in homeopathy, a 20X is more or less the next multiple of effectiveness than 10X. So the effectiveness is only the log of the inverse of the strength.

Things are slightly different in homeopastrology: The "strength" is actually proportional to the inverse fifth power (since higher dimensions will further dilute the field). The total effect is then proportional to the logarithm of this.
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Old 29th August 2006, 02:36 PM   #5
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Ze - for a sandgrubbing old Martian, that was a great post.

Wicked name.
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Last edited by dogjones; 29th August 2006 at 03:10 PM.
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Old 29th August 2006, 07:52 PM   #6
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Try Pataphysics.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27pataphysics
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Old 29th August 2006, 11:24 PM   #7
Ze Kraggash
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Originally Posted by dogjones View Post
Ze - for a sandgrubbing old Martian, that was a great post.

Wicked name.
Gee, I thought only two people alive would get the reference. One is Spider Robinson, and I married the other one. I guess I was wrong.
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Old 31st August 2006, 07:18 AM   #8
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Nope, there are three more than you accounted for - my father (still tending his herds of giant rats), my mother (who continues to placidly lay eggs), and me!

RIP Sheck.
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Old 1st September 2006, 02:27 AM   #9
Alareth
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Originally Posted by Tanstaafl View Post
For a second there I thought that Homeopastrology was an offshoot of Pastafarianism.
His noodly touch can be found in all things.
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