Browne useless again: Max Uffelman

http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/Content?oid=27447&category=34029


http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacad...&treeMax=true&treeWidth=0&csi=157447&docNo=82

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Announcer: The shocking truth will be revealed.
Plus, Joy's brother's murder had no suspects, until now.
Strong topics, strong host strong reasons to turn on MONTEL. Don't go away. That's coming up right now.

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(Announcements)
WILLIAMS: Please welcome Joy to the show. Hello, Joy. This one is one, Sylvia--again, we--Sylvia doesn't get--we don't give her any information about what she's about to hear on the show, and this one is one that has got most of our staff a little bit perplexed here, trying to figure out. Why don't you tell Sylvia what happened to your brother. He was out at dinner with friends.

JOY (Wants To Know Why Her Brother Was Killed): He went out--it was a Friday night, April 19th, 2002--with a bunch of friends singing, dancing, playing pool. And he went...

Ms. BROWNE: Who is Jim? I'm sorry.

WILLIAMS: That's OK.

JOY: I'm not sure who Jim is. He had...

WILLIAMS: But wait, you got to hear this.

Ms. BROWNE: All right. OK. I'm just--I just...

WILLIAMS: Go--go ahead--tel--tel--I know, you ju...

JOY: He went to make phone calls. He borrowed a cell phone.

WILLIAMS: He went to make a phone call on a cell phone.

Ms. BROWNE: Cell phone.

WILLIAMS: Go ahead.

JOY: He borrowed from one of his friends that he was with and invited a bunch more friends up to party with them and stuff, and they all thought he had left, because about 15 minutes went by, and he had been in a little hallway that was about 20 feet from where their tables were that they were all at a--joined the hotel to the bar they were at.

Ms. BROWNE: Right.

JOY: They all went out to the parking lot, and they saw his car still out there, so they thought, 'Well, he's got to be here somewhere.' Some people said that they thought other people went and looked for him, so nobody really went looking very hard for him, and a man came through from the hotel side through the hallway where my brother was and saw him and told the bar owner there was a drunk leaning up against the wall in the little hallway, and he had been strangled with a pay phone cord.
WILLIAMS: Now, wait, now hear this. This young man left a group of friends, went out to the little hallway, you know, most hotels and bars have...

Ms. BROWNE: Yeah. Yeah, the little leeway. Yeah.

WILLIAMS: ...where the phone was at, and was found leaning against the wall basically hung by a pay phone cord.

Ms. BROWNE: Right, a cord.

WILLIAMS: Now this was...

JOY: He was standing.

WILLIAMS: Standing. His body was found standing...

Ms. BROWNE: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: ...which is really kind of int--because initially, they tried to call this a suicide, correct?

JOY: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But impossible.

JOY: And they thought...

Ms. BROWNE: No fi--impossible.

WILLIAMS: So--OK.

Ms. BROWNE: But see, the cord was holding him up.

WILLIAMS: Right.

JOY: We--we fought...

Ms. BROWNE: You see what I mean? So he looked like he was in an upright position.

JOY: But we fought them saying that he had committed suicide because he loved life more than...

Ms. BROWNE: He didn't commit suicide.

JOY: I mean, he was--he lived every second to the possible fullest.

Ms. BROWNE: Here we go again. Another--I--I don't want to give our sex a bad name, but here we go again with a female. Short, blonde female, another guy...

JOY: I think I know.

Ms. BROWNE: I know you know, and said, 'I'm going to take you out.'

JOY: That's what we were afraid of.

WILLIAMS: So that's what you should take directly to the police.

JOY: They said that it's going to take--because there was no physical evidence, because his friends all touched the phone with--the police didn't take fingerprints or anything. And his friends all tried to figure out how he did it.

Ms. BROWNE: I'd get with the girl. I think she'd break. Have him interview her, he'll break her.

JOY: But they said it would take the person walking in and saying, 'I did it,' or somebody coming in and saying they knew who did it.

Ms. BROWNE: You can bring anybody in for questioning when there's a--I'd bring her in.

JOY: OK. I've got kind of a weird question for you. His rosary. My sister and I were sitting next to each other, and we saw a little feather floating down.

Ms. BROWNE: And he came--yeah. Tha--remember what I said the last time, people are getting feathers and everything--a little feather. Now how in the hell did a feather get in there?

JOY: It--I nudged my sister, so we both saw it. It wasn't just me seeing it.

Ms. BROWNE: Sure. Yeah. It was him saying hi.

JOY: OK. By the time she nudged my other sister, the feather was gone.

Ms. BROWNE: Yeah.

JOY: So it was Matthew.

Ms. BROWNE: I'm not too sure it's not angel wing feathers. I'm serious.

JOY: That's what we thought.

Ms. BROWNE: I know it's--yeah.

JOY: But he wasn't exactly an angel all the time, so...

Ms. BROWNE: Remember that movie "Michael," where he kept shedding his feathers? That's what it reminds me of.

WILLIAMS: Let me take a break. We'll be back right after this.

(Graphic on screen)
FOR MORE INFORMATION LOG ONTO:
www.sylvia.org
(Announcements)

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Montel Williams should be ashamed of himself.

Yes, Montel should be ashamed of himself.

When Sylvia finally dies, all Montel has to do is get a parrot to repeat back what his victims, I mean guests, say.

PastBrowneFan said:

Yes, Montel should be ashamed of himself.

When Sylvia finally dies, all Montel has to do is get a parrot to repeat back what his victims, I mean guests, say.

Click to expand...

And drop some feathers.

Nah, a parrot's too good at repeating things back. It wouldn't fall out of the proverbial tree with "Who is Jim?".

EeneyMinnieMoe said:

Nah, a parrot's too good at repeating things back. It wouldn't fall out of the proverbial tree with "Who is Jim?".

Click to expand...

Bwaack! Phone cord! Bwaack! Standing! Bwaack! Not suicide! Bwaack! Wanna cracker! Bwaack!!!

One thing I'd really like to have pointed out on SSB. com at an opportune moment is the number of times Montel does all the cold-reading for Sylvia by gleaning all the information out of the poor guest for "the audience" and "the viewers at home" or in this case, "the staff".

These people want to finally get answers and take it for granted Sylvia already knows all this and he jumps in with "Now, we never tell Sylvia anything- so you have to do it."

Video segments, photographs, opening explanations of the guests, whatever she was told backstage, the arsenal of cold-reading tricks open to any intelligent person- that's too hard to repeat back. Montel has to have the guest tell her everything under the flimsiest pretext.