My Vegas Holiday - by skeptichicklet, age 9
This holiday my parents thought we should go to TAM. I didn't know what a TAM was but mum said it was educational and dad said it was important he got his calendar signed, so whatever. Anyways, we got to go to Vegas! I thought I'd never been before but mum said that she'd tell me about how I actually had another day. I didn't get that joke but dad thought it was a riot until mum threw a pillow at him.
I got to go to some of the lectures and there were magicians and everything! I really liked the Mythbuster guys and I wanted to ask Kari a question but dad said he'd ask it for me and he must have had some of his own questions because he was asking her stuff for a long time until she went and hid in the bathroom in the foyer. I know because I peeked under the stall and she was on the phone calling for security to help get her out of the building. I mostly sat up the back and filled in the crossword during the bits about politics though. But I guess I'll always remember when the babysitter came. She was recommended by a guy called Central Scrutinizer and dad went out with him and some others but apparently people don't talk about going out Vegas so I didn't find out what went on. I guess dad doesn't want a pillow thrown at him again.
Because you're not supposed to talk about going out in Vegas, I'll talk about what happened when you stay in! We were babysat (well, I was babysat because the other skeptichicklets who were with me were older and I guess they weren't really babies to be sat and I'm not a baby but people treat you like one especially when they come back from going out in Vegas and come back singing songs about the Discovery Channel, wearing Deja Vu club tank-tops and have matching dolphin tattoos and have a headache about it and never tell you anything) by a funny lady called Angelcake but she said we could call her by her real name which was Samantha-Jo and we said 'really?' and she said no her real name was Roberta but no body else knows that so you have to keep it quiet because apparently it's bad for business.
She was cool. We learned how to drink a whole water bottle with one swallow and we laughed at the sex channel on the television! They are so funny! We practiced doing the same sort of yells the women do until someone hit the wall of the room next door and said they'd call the police. Then we learned some sexy dance moves and tried dying our hair platinum in the bathroom and put on some rocking makeup. We all looked so much older with it on! Angelcake said that orange is 'in' this summer so I guess that's okay although mum said I'll have to go to the hairdresser tomorrow to get fixed. I like the dark green stripes though, makes me look like a mutant tiger (I learned about mutants from some of the skepchick ladies who also told me to say 'get squished' to rude guys and gave me a t-shirt that had a picture of a pretty lady sitting in a tree waving an apple at a fundamentalist priest and making a rude gesture that my mum won't let me do).
Anyway, Angelcake then let us stay up REAL late and taught us some games using cards and then we went down to the casino area wearing some of her shoes and clothing that she had in the back of her car and we were helping her at the tables using the signals she taught us. I guess we had about twenty of those big gold tokens before the security guys who helped Kari get out of the building came over and asked Angelcake lots of questions and then I guess she had the same problem Kari did because they helped her out of the building too. We didn't get to say goodbye but mum said that if she sees her again she'll give her a goodbye she'll never forget, so I guess that's okay.
Anyway, that was our Vegas vacation and I don't know if we'll go back but no one else on our block has six-inch stilleto boots, not even mum so I think I'll be going as Angelcake to the Year 7 Halloween party this year.
But April (13) may need a friend to while away the evening with. Maybe we can hook up??